‘You might want to do some more stretches, boys!’ Marge was standing on the touchline of the makeshift football pitch, watching as the twelve men in navy blue shorts and white shirts stood around chatting aimlessly.
A slim, brown-haired man winked and grinned. ‘Like this?’ He bent over and looked at her through his legs.
Marge’s friend Jeanie let out a loud wolf whistle.
‘That’s right, Phil, exactly like that. Now the rest of you do it,’ Marge called.
Laughing, the other men went to stand beside Phil and bent over.
‘What are they doing?’ Edie walked up to them.
‘We were just encouraging the guys to show us what they got . . . And to be honest, I’ve seen more meat in the naafi’s stew,’ Marge said loudly.
‘Gotta be better than what you’ve got!’ one of the men said snidely, standing up to glare at her.
Marge raised her eyebrows at him. ‘Ah, diddums, did I hurt your feelings? Tough, isn’t it, having comments made about your figure? You wouldn’t last five minutes as a woman.’ She waved her hand at him dismissively.
Edie laughed. ‘You are awful, Marge!’ God, she loved this woman. How could Rodney have been so stupid to have given up his chance with her?
Marge grinned. ‘I do my best.’
‘Blimey, Edie, where’d that come from?’ Jeanie’s eyes were focused on Edie’s stomach.
Edie cursed inwardly and buttoned up her jacket. So far, she’d managed to hide her growing stomach under baggy clothes and her donkey jacket. But Jeanie’s sly expression, suggested the secret would soon be out, and there’d be more than one person busily counting their fingers and realising that the baby couldn’t be Bill’s.
She pointedly put her left hand on her stomach, displaying her wedding ring. ‘What can I say? Bill’s a fast worker,’ she said.
Jeanie raised an eyebrow sceptically. ‘From the look of you, I’d say you’re at least five months gone. And I could’ve sworn Bill only got back at New Year. So either you’re having the biggest baby ever, or someone’s got a little cuckoo in the nest.’
‘That’s enough, Jeanie,’ Marge said sharply. ‘Plenty of people jump the gun, there’s no shame in that.’
‘There’s jumping the gun,’ Jeanie said, ‘and then there’s straight-up lying. I just hope you’re prepared for the consequences, Edie. Cos there’ll be a lot of people putting two and two together and getting four once the baby’s born.’
‘Me and Bill understand each other and that’s all that matters,’ Edie snapped.
Jeanie held up her hands. ‘Keep your hair on, love. You’ll get no judgement from me. There but for the grace of God and all that.’
‘Amen to that,’ Marge said, fishing out her cigarette case.
Edie forced a smile. She hated thinking about her pregnancy. Hated the very fact of it. It didn’t matter that Bill accepted it – accepted her – despite the baby not being his. What mattered was that she hadn’t accepted it. She longed to feel the happy anticipation that Marianne felt. But she just couldn’t.
This was Greg’s baby, and the last time she’d seen him he’d tried to hit her, and somehow, the fury and disgust she felt for allowing herself to be duped by a man like that had transferred to the poor innocent child she carried.
Even if the baby had been Bill’s she didn’t feel ready to be a mother. Especially now she was motherless herself. She would never admit it to anyone but the absence of her mother – so forceful and dominant – had left her feeling cast adrift. And the baby just made it worse. What she wanted most was to go far, far away and start again with Bill. But she was trapped – not only by her promise to Bill to stay in Dover and help his uncle with the garage, but once she had the baby, she’d be even more stuck because she’d never find a job anywhere else with a baby in tow.
‘Want one?’ Marge held her cigarette case out to her.
Edie accepted a cigarette and, once lit, breathed in deeply and held her breath, imagining the trail of grey smoke wafting through her veins, spreading throughout her body and slipping into her womb, engulfing the little life inside her until it disappeared. She closed her eyes, and willed it to happen. But then her lungs started to hurt so she blew the smoke out on a long exhale, watching it disperse in the cold air, her mind dripping with guilt. I’m sorry, little one. It’s not your fault.
‘Have you heard from Bill?’ Marge asked.
‘He’s still doing operational training,’ she said flatly. ‘We got one day and one night after we were married and then he was gone.’
Marge tutted sympathetically. ‘He’ll be back soon, love.’
Edie looked up at the sky. ‘Will he? Planes fall out of the sky every day. Chances are, I’ll never see him again.’ She took another long drag of her cigarette.
A shout interrupted the awkward silence that had fallen between the women, and they looked over to see a group of men in khaki shorts and jerseys jogging to the centre of the field, a tall, impossibly good-looking man with a ball under his arm leading the way.
‘I see Bert’s none the worse for wear after Mavis threw him out of the Oak for fighting the other night,’ Marge murmured.
‘Lord love a duck!’ Jeanie sighed dramatically. ‘Your brother is one good-looking hunk of a man, Edie.’ She fluffed her blonde hair and let out a loud wolf whistle.
Bert looked over and grinned. But when he caught sight of his sister, the smile died on his lips and he turned away.
Trying to disguise her hurt, Edie said dryly, ‘I thought you had more sense, Jeanie.’
‘I don’t want to marry the man!’ Jeanie exclaimed. ‘But I reckon me and him could have a bit of a laugh.’ She nudged Edie’s arm. ‘If you know what I mean.’
Edie wrinkled her nose. ‘Susan Blake didn’t try to shoot him cos he was nice. Not that I’m blaming Bert – but it might give you a clue as to why you should stay away from him.’
Jeanie shivered dramatically. ‘The whiff of danger makes him all the more irresistible.’
Edie rolled her eyes at Marge, who grinned back at her. ‘Don’t look at me. I’ve tried to talk sense into her, but she doesn’t listen to a word I say.’
‘And why should I? When you’ve thrown over the deliciously brooding Rodney for St Philip. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Phil’s a lovely bloke, but he’s not the man for you. And the longer you keep lying to him and yourself, the worse his heart will be broken when you finally ditch him.’
Marge pursed her lips. ‘Shut up, Jeanie. You don’t know what you’re talking about. So go ahead, throw yourself at Bert. But don’t come crying to me when he walks away before you’ve had time to pull up your knickers.’
‘You’re just jealous, cos you know the perfect padre will never give you half the fun in a lifetime as I’d get in one night with Bert.’
‘Girls, girls, can you stop talking about my brother like that! Look, Jeanie, go get him, if that’s what you want. As for you, Marge, you do know that poor Rodney’s been pining for you, don’t you?’
Marge’s eyebrows rose. ‘Pining? I don’t think so. Did you know he’s asked for a transfer?’
‘What? When?’ Edie didn’t like the thought of Rodney going away. Having him just up the road at the castle made her feel safer.
Marge shrugged. ‘Not something he’d tell me. Anyway, he’s still here, so maybe they said no. Perhaps you should ask your mum,’ she said pointedly.
Edie frowned. ‘I better get back,’ she muttered.
As she walked back towards the low wire fence that separated the back of the garage from the field, she kept her eyes on Bert, hoping that he might at least acknowledge her, but he didn’t even look at her, and she didn’t have the courage to approach him.
By the time she clambered over the fence, her eyes were blurred with tears. For all Bert’s humour and easy manner, he was as stubborn and hard-headed as his mother – and her if she was honest – so she shouldn’t be surprised.
Her thoughts turned to the dreadful day Gladys had died. They’d all been in shock, and while Gladys lay dead on the sofa in the living room, a sudden shell attack had forced them to shelter in the basement.
‘It’s not your fault,’ she’d whispered to Bert as the shells rained down on the market square, making the walls shake. ‘We weren’t to know what Susan was like.’
His expression when he’d looked at her had been ice cold. ‘Oh, I don’t just blame myself for this,’ he’d hissed. ‘We’re both to blame. But I would never have gone near that girl if you hadn’t hatched that stupid plan to lure Susan away from Lily’s Charlie. You should have just spoken to Lily and left me out of it. So do me a favour, Edie, and stay away from me.’
He’d not spoken to her since.
Edie blinked back her tears. She had no right to cry. Because everything Bert said was true; it was all her fault. If she’d minded her own business, Gladys would still be here. And her brother would still be talking to her.
In two short days she’d lost her mother and brother. But whereas she felt no regret about her mother; she’d do anything to make it up to Bert.