It felt like hours since they’d arrived at the hospital. Beside Nellie, Marianne fidgeted, getting up every so often to pace up and down the hall, rubbing her back.
‘Why don’t you go home, love?’ Nellie said, eyeing her daughter’s face with concern. ‘There’s nothing you can do here. Besides your pacing’s makin’ me nervous.’
‘I don’t want to leave you, Mum.’
‘I’ll be fine.’ She checked her watch. Had it really only been a couple of hours since Lou had come banging on her door? It felt like years, and she’d swear every one of those years was etched into her face. ‘I’m sure it won’t be much longer. Besides, I could do with you going back to make sure everything’s all right. God knows who might have come in while we’ve been gone.’
Marianne wavered. ‘If you’re sure? I need to check on Donny too.’ She leant over and kissed her mother’s cheek. ‘I’ll see you later. Try not to worry too much . . . Bert’s always had the luck of the devil.’
‘Not today he hasn’t,’ Nellie muttered as her daughter walked slowly towards the stairs. Once she knew how Bert was, she needed to work out how to get some help at the café. Marianne needed to rest more, or she’d have two children in hospital.
She felt someone sit down beside her and a large, rough hand took hold of hers. Her fingers closed round it, squeezing hard with relief as her shoulders relaxed slightly. Jasper. Of course it was Jasper. He was always there.
‘Any news?’ he whispered.
Nellie shook her head then rested it against his broad shoulder.
‘He’ll be fine, love. And where there’s life there’s hope, right?’
‘Do you think so?’
‘I know so. Look, Gladys saved him for a reason. No way she’d let him go now. She’ll be floating over that operating table, blowing air into his lungs. You mark my words.’
Nellie laughed softly. ‘Thought you didn’t believe in angels.’
‘Nah. You get to my age, live through one war then get plonked straight into another, angels ain’t the first things that come to mind.’ He turned towards her, his blue eyes watery. ‘But I believe in Bert, love. And you got to as well.’
Nellie leant forward and kissed his cheeks. ‘What would I do without you?’ she asked softly.
Jasper smiled. ‘You’d be fine. You’d just keep on carrying on. It’s all you know to do.’
‘You heard any more news about the attack?’ she asked.
‘Word is Dave Granger’s died,’ he said sadly. ‘His little grandson was with him; saw it all.’
Nellie frowned. ‘Dave Granger? Works down the mines? He were a couple of years above us at school.’
Jasper nodded. ‘He’d taken Bobby to the match,’ he said.
Nellie’s shoulders sagged. ‘Bloody hell, Jasper. Will things ever get better?’
There was no answer to that, so Jasper put his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on him again and they sat in silence, taking comfort from the warmth of each other’s bodies.
After a while, Nellie fell asleep, while Jasper stayed watchful, his eyes fixed on the door that he knew led towards the operating theatre. Every time it opened, he tensed, preparing himself for the worst. But for the past hour, although other families had been led away, as yet no one had even looked at them.
He must have dropped off himself at some point, because they were both startled awake when a voice said, ‘Mrs Castle?’
Nellie’s eyes flew open to find a middle-aged woman wearing a white coat standing in front of her. It was a face that had become all too familiar to her over the months Jasper had lain in a coma. She sat up straight, stiffening her spine in preparation for bad news.
‘Dr Toland.’
The woman looked exhausted, although she’d clearly attempted to tidy herself before she came out, and though her hair was neatly brushed and she was wearing a fresh white coat, Nellie saw a small smudge of blood on her cheek. She swallowed back the nausea as she wondered if it belonged to her youngest son.
‘It’s not as bad as we first thought,’ the doctor said. ‘It seems a bullet grazed his cheek, fracturing his cheekbone.’
Nellie sagged against Jasper in relief. ‘So he can come home?’
‘Not yet. He has another injury to his shoulder, but the bullet went clean through and miraculously there doesn’t seem to be too much damage, so as long as he doesn’t pick up an infection . . .’ She shrugged. ‘If he doesn’t, he’ll need a couple of weeks in hospital, then a bit of rest at home and he’ll be right as rain. Although it might be a while till he’s fit to go back and fight.’
‘What did I tell you, Nellie?’ Jasper reached out and pumped the woman’s hand. ‘Thank you, Doc. I knew if anyone could save him, it’d be you.’
Nellie pulled a hankie out of her sleeve and wiped her eyes. ‘Can we see him?’
‘He’s unconscious. But we have one of our best trainees sitting with him, just to make sure there are no complications from the head wound when he does come round.’
‘I just want to see him. Please.’
The woman nodded. ‘All right, but just for a moment. He won’t know you’re there.’ She looked around, and seeing a nurse loitering in the corridor, she beckoned her over. ‘Please take Mrs Castle and Mr Cane to see Corporal Castle in the men’s ward.’ She moved off down the corridor as a slim nurse with cat-like green eyes, her blonde hair neatly pinned up under her hat, approached them.
‘Hello, Mr Cane,’ she said. ‘I bet you don’t know who I am?’ She smiled at him, but Jasper didn’t return it.
‘I know your voice all right, Nurse Williams, but this is the first time I’ve seen you. How you keepin’?’
‘As well as I can be, I suppose. You can call me Vi.’
‘Thing I remember most about you, Vi, is that you wouldn’t help Dot take off the bandages on me eyes.’
Vi shrugged and turned away, gesturing with her head for them to follow her. ‘Doctor’s orders were you had to rest your eyes for two weeks. Dot was in the wrong for going against that and she got into terrible trouble.’
Jasper frowned, but Nellie elbowed him in the side before he could reply. ‘Give it a rest,’ she whispered. ‘It weren’t the girl’s fault. She were just followin’ orders.’
‘Hmph. That one only follows orders when it suits her,’ he muttered.
‘Shh, she’ll hear you.’ Nellie gave him a cross look. Jasper never spoke about those weeks after he’d woken from a coma completely blind, although she was sure it must have left its mark. But then he wasn’t the sort to dwell on things, preferring to always look on the bright side of life. She wished she could be more like him; she’d give anything to let the past fade into the background, never to return. Instead, it circled round her mind like a vulture waiting to pounce on a carcass.
Navy blue curtains were drawn around Bert’s bed when they arrived and they slipped through to find Dot sitting beside him. The blanket was folded down to Bert’s waist, one arm lying across his stomach in a sling, and a large pad was on his cheek, bandages wrapped around his head to secure it in place, wisps of dark hair poking out beneath it.
‘Oh, Bert,’ Nellie gasped, staggering towards him and grasping his good hand. ‘My little boy.’ Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, and Jasper put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
‘He’s going to be all right, Mrs Castle,’ Dot said comfortingly. ‘Don’t worry about a thing, I’ll be with him all night, keeping an eye on him.’
Nellie shook her head in despair. ‘But he looks half dead!’
Bert’s face was a ghastly translucent white, the dark stubble on his cheeks standing out in contrast, but what upset Nellie the most was the blood that was already soaking through the dressing on his face. His once perfect face, she thought sadly. She bent forward to kiss it, but Dot stopped her.
‘No, don’t touch his face,’ she said quickly. ‘His cheekbone’s fractured, and we don’t want to make it worse. It’s got to heal on its own, so he needs to stay still and quiet until the bones knit back together.’
Nellie drew back. ‘But the doc says he’ll be all right?’ Bert had always been so beautiful. So like her Donald when he was young. Which was why he got in so much trouble with the girls. Would he mind if his looks were gone?
‘Course he will,’ Vi said from behind her. Nellie hadn’t realised she was still there. ‘And his face should be none the worse for wear. Even with a wonky cheek and a scar, he’ll still be the best-looking bloke in here.’
Jasper sent her a narrow-eyed look. ‘Got a fancy for ’im, ’ave you?’ he asked rudely.
Vi blushed. ‘What sort of girl do you think I am.’ She pulled the curtain aside abruptly, and disappeared back into the ward.
‘That weren’t very nice of you, Mr Cane,’ Dot admonished.
‘Well . . . That one’s always got her eye on some fella or other. ’Mount of times I heard her flirtin’ with the patients up and down the ward. Her type’s after only one thing: a bloke to keep her comfy for the rest of her life. But if she thinks she can get her hands on our Bert, then she’s got another think comin’.’
‘Gawd’s sake, Jasper, what’s the matter with you? My son can’t even open his bloody eyes. You really think some girl’s gonna be fawning all over him. Have some respect or go home.’
Jasper harrumphed and folded his arms. ‘I know what I know, Nellie. And I know girls like Vi, believe me.’
Nellie rolled her eyes at him. ‘You tryin’ to tell me she were flirtin’ with you?’
‘Course she weren’t.’
‘So it’s sour grapes, is it? Girl wouldn’t spare you a glance, so now you’ve got it in for her. Anyway, this isn’t the time or the place.’ She leant towards her son. ‘Bert, love? Bert, it’s Mum. Can you hear me?’
‘Bleedin’ Hitler can hear you, Nellie. Keep your voice down. Poor thing’s been hit by a bullet, his head must be killin’ him.’
Nellie straightened abruptly. ‘And here was me thinkin’ you’d come to support me,’ she snapped. ‘But if that’s too much effort, maybe you should leave.’
Jasper glowered at her. ‘You think I sat here all afternoon for the fun of it?’
‘Did I ask you to?’ Nellie exclaimed.
‘Please . . .’ Dot’s face was red with embarrassment at having to tell them off. ‘Bert needs quiet. Perhaps you’d both better go now.’
Nellie looked chastened. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered. She leant forward and kissed Bert gently on the forehead. ‘I’ll be back soon, sweetheart,’ she whispered. ‘You will take care of him, won’t you, love?’ Nellie looked at Dot anxiously.
‘Course I will. Now get on with you. Bert’ll be just fine.’
Smiling gratefully, Nellie turned, unable to bear the sight of her vibrant son so still. Ever since he’d been born the boy had never stopped moving. Always mouthing off and getting into mischief. Even at his naughtiest, though, he could always make her laugh. Sometimes she’d had to turn away from him, just to hide her smile. His charm was his gift and his curse, she thought bitterly. The image of Bert standing outside the café with a gun pointing at him was never far from her mind. Nor was the image of Gladys crumpling to the ground after being hit by the bullet intended for her son.
It was a devastating price to pay for Bert’s life. But had she been given the choice at that moment, she knew, just as Gladys would have, that she’d have chosen Bert. No one came before her children. Even when they were at loggerheads, she’d gladly lay down her life for every one of them. In her darkest moments, she wished it had been her who’d taken the bullet instead of Gladys. It would have saved her from this endless cycle of guilt and despair and maybe, just maybe, Edie would have forgiven her.
It was time to try to make it up with her daughter. She could never put right what she’d done in the past, but she craved Edie’s forgiveness. If the events of the day had taught her anything it was that no one in Dover was safe, and if she didn’t talk to her now, she might never get another opportunity. Edie could shout and scream at her as much as she liked, but she would win her back. Before it was too late.