Chapter 15

Millennials—Living in a Digital Age

I can’t imagine being without my phone. I mean, I text my friends, go onto my Facebook account, watch YouTube videos, and read books on my Kindle app. I can do anything on my phone. —Sonji, age 15

Have you ever seen the commercial where a young teen is speaking to her younger siblings and telling them how easy they have it because technology has changed to allow them to move their TVs anywhere in the house? That commercial pretty much sums up what it means to be alive today. Technology and information is growing at such a fast rate that millions of new ideas occur every second. The things that are around today will be eclipsed with more new things in a matter of days and weeks.

One of the more recent changes brought about by technology is the whole concept of social networking. And with the host of positives that can be created with the increased knowledge and technology come some risks and the potential for new areas of danger.

But before we get into all of that, take a minute and read over the following scenario.

What Would You Do?

Your friends are all about technology. They have phones and Facebook accounts and basically live online. You aren’t allowed to have a Facebook account yet. You don’t have your own e-mail account. And you don’t even have a phone. You want to plead your case to your parents as to why you need to step into the digital age, but you don’t know what you can say or how you should say it.

Take a moment and write down a conversation between you and your parents. Remember to think of all of the reasons they aren’t ready to let you jump into social networking, and your reasons for requesting that they do. (If you do have a phone and social networking accounts already, step into the shoes of someone your age who doesn’t and imagine how you might approach your reluctant parents with the idea.)

The Digital Age

It’s an exciting time to be alive. Within the last decade alone, technology has boomed, bringing us a new level of techno-gadgetry for our homes and our lives. Just look at the following list of things that have become commonplace in many homes and lives in the last 10 years:

  flat panel TVs,

  HDTVs and DVRs,

  eReaders,

  iPads and tablets,

  smartphones,

  bluetooth technology,

  high-speed Internet connections and WiFi,

  online social networking and gaming,

  social media sites,

  print on demand books, and

  flash storage.

These items were nothing more than something cool in a sci-fi movie a few decades ago. And now, they’re commonplace in many parts of the world.

The technological advances don’t stop there. In the past year alone, there have quantum leaps in almost every industry. Some of the bigger leaps include the following:

  nanotech and nanorobotics,

  CPUs with the ability to learn and develop new synapses like the human brain,

  alternative sources of energy and improved batteries,

  increased use of optics and photonics,

  changes in genonomics including the prevention of genetically born diseases, and

  humanoid robotics.

Although the technology is incredible, so are the risks as the information and technology increases faster than our ethics. Never before have we been less able to predict the future. And never before has it been more important that we learn to think about and creatively approach problems.

Your generation will lead the way into this new era of information. And your generation will come face-to-face with the new dangers that have emerged, including identity theft, cyberbullying, and sexting, to name a few.

So how do you enjoy the benefits of the increased information and technology while also protecting yourself? The next two sections will look at the realities of social networking, as well as keeping yourself safe online. Before we get started, I want you to complete the My Life Online worksheet and take a look at the places you frequent online and your Internet savvy.

Facebook, YouTube, and Texting, Oh My

The social networking scene is nothing new for teens. Most of you have a phone with texting capabilities, the ability to chat online, and access to Facebook, YouTube, and other online sites. Some of you may be online gamers, loving World of Warcraft and similar games. Those of you who may not have easy access to the Internet have probably figured out how to use your gaming systems to access sites online. Even most televisions enable Internet usage now. You Google answers to homework questions, stream movies and music on your tablets, and read books on your phones.

The Girl Guide

Worksheet #21: My Life Online

Directions: Take a moment to think about how you spend you time online and then answer the following questions

1.  Which sites do you visit most often? Why?

2.  Do your parents know your passwords? Why or why not?

3.  Do you have e-mail? Do your parents have access to your accounts?

4.  Do you text? Do your parents monitor your texts?

I asked a lot of questions about your parents and how closely they monitor you online. How do you feel about them having access to your accounts? Does it bother you? Why or why not?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social networking and access to the Web are good things for the most part. But as I mentioned earlier, social networking does have a downside, including the ability to completely take over your life.

What? Give up my phone and Kindle? Not gonna happen. Not ever. —Sarah, age 13

As we get started, take a moment to isolate how often you use some form of social networking and the Internet. Keep a little pad with you and jot down every time you text, e-mail, chat, or go online. Do this a couple of hours every day for a week. Then complete the My Online Habits worksheet and take a real look at your Internet and social networking habits.

As you completed the worksheet, what did you notice? Are you online more or less often than you thought? Do you predominately use social networking as something more educational or more social? Do you use texting and chatting as a replacement for inperson conversations?

The answers to these questions can shine a light on the value you place on social networking in your life, and whether or not it is mostly positive or negative for you. Psychologists are just beginning to study the impact of social media on people, but the early research indicates that social media, including texting; chatting; and Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and similar sites, can be more addicting than alcohol and smoking. That’s right—I said, “more addicting”! This is even truer for people who struggle with self-esteem issues and for introverts who find social networking so much easier than developing relationships in person.

The Girl Guide

Worksheet #22

My Online Habits

Directions: Use this form to keep track of your technology use for a few days. Include e-mail, text, chat, and Internet usage.

E-mail, chat, text, or Internet (include site)?	Purpose	Date/Time
Text	Chat with friends	Today, 18 texts

Now, take a moment to reflect on your usage. Do you see any patterns? Any concerns? Jot down your thoughts here.

Once you’ve looked at your online habits, take a look at the following tool to help you balance the positives of social media with the risks.

Tool #14

Online Balancing Act

  Cultivate relationships in person, as well as online.

  Never text and drive.

  Turn off your mobile device and computer at night.

  If you find yourself almost obsessed with social media sites, it’s time for a social media break.

  “Unplug” from the Internet one day a month.

  Leave your phone upstairs in your room one day a week during dinner or hide it in the very bottom of your backpack when having lunch with your friends. See how not having easy access to your device changes the way you interact with others. How does it make you feel when others around you are plugged in and you’re wanting their attention?

Being Safe Online

As I mentioned earlier in this chapter, there are positive and negatives about living in the digital age. In addition to the addiction risks mentioned above, other dangers including everything from identity theft, to online predators, to texting while driving.

Fortunately, keeping yourself safe is really just about forming a few good habits and maintaining them throughout your life. These habits are just like the boundaries you learned to set earlier in the book and are designed to help you minimize risk and keep yourself safe.

Before I jump into the habits, let’s review a few basic realities about being online. First, get rid of your assumption of privacy online. Pretty much anything you put out there has the potential of being stolen, misused, or hacked, no matter how secure your privacy settings. With sensitive information, like banking or financial information, you may have some amount of recourse. But most of the time you will not. So be careful what you disclose online. Things related to your identity like your social security number, your driver’s license number, and personal contact information should not be given out in most cases. You want to keep these things private.

Which brings me to what you say online …

Have you ever been on Facebook or YouTube and read through the various posts or comments? Have you then wondered, “Dude! You actually said that?” Yeah, I have. See, anyone and everyone can read those posts, including a teacher, prospective boss, college recruiter, or your crush’s parents. And many times, they do. So, the next time you are frustrated and ready to fire off a comment or post, stop and think, “Am I okay with a college recruiter reading this?” The same thinking applies to posting photos and other information you may be tempted to share. The Internet is not private. Not by any stretch. Just imagine how disastrous it could be to lose an important scholarship or place at the competitive school of your dreams because of something silly you posted one time—it has happened!

Another important thing to remember is deleting something doesn’t really make it go away online. There will always be an echo of the post, the photo, whatever it is you added. That “echo” can be hacked into and spread around. So again, think before you post.

Finally, a few words about privacy settings. Privacy settings on places like YouTube and Facebook won’t guarantee your safety, especially if you don’t adjust them periodically. Take Facebook, for example. Did you know that a friend of a friend can view your posts unless you set your privacy settings to prevent that? The same applies to pictures and videos you share. It is important to think about this as you get online and set up accounts.

There are several things you can do to keep yourself safe. Take a look at the Safety Online tool. You may want to copy this and post it near the computer or in your room as a reminder.

Tool #15

Safety Online

  Change your passwords regularly, every 6 months at the longest.

  Never give out personal information online.

  Remember, nothing online is really private.

  Not everyone is who he says he is online.

  Stay away from cyberbullying.

  Let your parents or a trusted adult know if you are being harassed in any way online.

  Give your parents access to your online accounts.

I’ve spent the bulk of this section talking about social media etiquette and safety. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention texting and driving. You know you shouldn’t do it. You know there are laws against it. And you all know someone who still texts and drives. So here’s the real deal—the National Traffic Safety Administration reports that traffic accidents are the leading cause of fatalities among teens. And distracted driving is the cause of many of those accidents. What’s more, according to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 32% of teens admit to texting or e-mailing while driving—a leading cause of distracted driving.

Bottom line, texting and driving is dangerous. So don’t do it. Ever. When you learn to drive, take your phone and put it in your purse. Keep it out of site. Period.

This chapter was all about social networking and what it means to live in this age of technology. As you read the Note to Self and move into the self-reflection questions, I want you to think about why social media is such a huge part of your life. My guess is that it relates to the need to connect we talked about in Section II of the book. And as important as the connections are, you are still the first and most important relationship you will make. Take as much time to develop your relationship with yourself as you do your online relationships. That is what will help you the most on the path toward authenticity.

Note to Self: Your BFF Is You

If I could give you one piece of advice for life, it would be not to be afraid to be friends with yourself. Wherever you go and whatever you do, you will be the one person who will be right with you the whole way, and you can either view this person as an enemy or a friend. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, and spend at least as much time encouraging yourself and giving yourself pep talks as you do criticizing yourself.

Being your own friend doesn’t make you selfish, and you don’t have to be a perfect person to like yourself. In fact, understanding your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them all can be one of the most freeing decisions you can make and can actually help you meet your goals. If you like yourself just as you are, even as you change from year to year, being always curious about the person you are and are becoming, you really can have a supportive friend for life. —Lisa Rivero

You are part of the Millennials, the generation that has embraced technology in a way previous generations never considered. For you, streaming videos, texting friends, and reading eBooks is the norm. You have redefined what it means to interact with media. It is an exciting time. But like anything, it comes with new and substantial threats.

This chapter has been all about exploring the benefits and risks of a digital age. The worksheets, tools, and activities have all been developed to help you reap the best this age has to offer, while managing the risk. Take a moment to go back through the chapter and complete whatever journal entries you may have skipped. Then come back and reflect on the following questions.

My Voice

Keeping in mind the authentic you inside, answer the following:

  What social media venues are you a part of? How often are you on the sites?

  How would you feel if you couldn’t text, chat, or go online for 24 hours?

  What is the best use of technology you’ve participated in over the last year? Why was it the best?

  What dangers are you aware of online? How do you deal with them?

  Do you feel you can trust the people you meet online? Why or why not?

  What are the rules regarding technology in your house? Do you agree with them?

  How technologically savvy are your parents?

  Do your parents know your passwords to your accounts? Do you think they should? Why or why not?