Introduction

Gabby Douglas, Kyla Ross, Adzo Kpossi, Missy Franklin—what do these amazing athletes of the 2012 Olympics have in common? They are all girls 17 and under. Together with lesser known teens, they have redefined the image of young, strong, and accomplished girls for generations to come. Each one of them has learned to set goals, overcome adversity, and focus on their dreams.

Which is where this book comes in.

More than a book about growing up strong, The Girl Guide: Finding Your Place in a Mixed-Up World is all about finding your own unique place in the world, your authentic voice.

Now, I know that life can be hard. There are expectations from everyone to act a certain way, fill a certain role. There are even expectations about not listening to those who tell you how to act. Sometimes there are things that happen that send your life spiraling out of control, things you can’t foresee. Sometimes you make bad choices that lead to horrible consequences, throwing you completely out of balance. And sometimes it feels like all of the dreams you had when you were a young child move out of reach as you get older.

Maybe you feel like you have to fit in with a certain group and act a certain way just to secure your future. And maybe you think you have to “buck the system” because that’s what it means to be strong.

Guess what? Strength and resiliency are actually something different. They’re about making your own definition of your life. They’re about exploring your options, developing your talents, and not allowing the various barriers life may throw your way stop you from achieving your dreams.

And they’re also about allowing those dreams to morph and change just as you grow and develop.

My hope for you as you read this book is that you begin to hear and listen to the voice deep inside—the one that holds your authentic self. The one that is already confident and secure.

In the following pages you’ll read stories and strategies for cultivating your own unique self. You’ll read about girls who have overcome the odds and achieved more than was expected. You’ll get strategies and projects that will help you discover your own unique voice in this crazy, noisy world!

Starting On Your Personal Journey

This book was designed to be used as a guide, a workbook, and a source of inspiration. Each part starts with an introduction and short quiz. Take the quizzes often, as your answers will change over time. Each chapter contains a What Would You Do? scenario that brings the concepts into the real world, and a Note to Self section that shares some advice from other strong young women and successful adults who have found their unique voices.

Additionally, the chapters include quotes from other teens, tools (not rules) to help guide you on your quest, and activities to help you redefine normal for yourself.

My hope is that you will use this book as you need it—and use it often.

Things You May Need

The activities, quizzes, and worksheets throughout the book can be completed in many ways. They can be done in the book if you’d like. One particularly helpful tool is a journal. These can be the little journals you use for school or something bigger. You can do the activities and worksheets in the journal so you can create your own personal memoir of this journey toward your authentic self.

Other useful items include index cards, glue sticks, pictures, colored pencils or pens, and anything else you can use with the various activities to make them your own. You can even take the activities into the digital age, using Photoshop, Pinterest, Glogster, video software, and more. Remember, this journey is all about you—so be as creative as you want to be.

Adding Your Voice

If you find this book helpful to you and want to offer up your own story or tools for other young women, please do! I’m always looking to bring more advice, tools, and inspiration to girls just like you. Just e-mail me at christine@christinefonseca.com, and share your stories. It’s one of the best ways to give back to others.

A Word to Parents

Growing up is a challenging job—and growing up strong and resilient in today’s fast-paced and turbulent world can be even more challenging. That’s where this book comes in. Packed with quotes, stories, and life tools, The Girl Guide: Finding Your Place in a Mixed-Up World is designed to help girls find their own unique voice in our chaotic and often noisy world.

The Girl Guide focuses on the principles of resiliency, including social acceptance, self-efficacy, and emotional balance. Additionally, it provides specific strategies and tools for some of the more common issues facing girls today, including relational aggression, staying safe online, school performance, social adjustment, and the mother-daughter connection.

Use this book to address various concerns as they come up. Or read it first and then share it with your girls. Either way, be sure to talk about the information and advice with your teens. Use the ideas as a springboard to open the lines of communication. And if you find something particularly helpful, shoot me a note and let me know.

I wish you much success in being the coach your girls need as they progress through their years and embrace everything it means to be strong young women.