Lauren was back.
Finn hurried her towards Curlew Studio, insisting on carrying her bag and taking her somewhere ‘private to talk’.
‘Fine,’ she’d said, seeming bemused but going with him anyway.
Hurrying with her along the creekside path, he felt overwhelmed with memories, regrets and fears. He remembered so clearly that night, the previous year, when Lauren had turned up at his place, upset and the worse for wear. She’d told Finn that she and Joey had had an almighty row and broken up.
She’d turned to Finn for comfort and he’d done what he could: listened, made her coffee and tried to persuade her to make it up with Joey. She’d turned to Finn for comfort and he’d almost crossed a line with her; he had crossed it if holding her counted.
He’d comforted her as she cried and then she’d tried to kiss him and for a brief moment he’d kissed her back. He shouldn’t have even let things get that far. He’d regretted it and her greeting at the regatta – the kiss – had brought back guilty memories.
Just like Rose’s kiss on board Siren after the storm. Twice Finn felt he’d kissed a woman Joey was involved with.
Finn and Lauren had been friends even before she and Joey became an item. He’d met her at a yacht club party a few years previously and introduced her to his brother. Finn even thought he was in love with her at one point, though he never told her. He’d since realised that he wasn’t and that Joey and Lauren were meant to be together.
Now he wondered if Lauren had realised what his feelings were – or once had been?
He opened the door of the studio and ushered her inside.
She walked into the middle of the room but he lingered a few paces away.
‘I’m sorry for that kiss, Finn. I only meant it as a friend, but I can tell it embarrassed you. You know I’d never want to do that … not after you’ve been such a good friend to me over the years.’
‘I’m not embarrassed,’ he said though in truth he was reeling. She was the very last person he’d expected to turn up at the regatta. She’d tapped him on the shoulder and before he could even speak, she’d greeted him with that kiss. It was a good friend’s kiss but given their history, it had a resonance that troubled him. His first instinct had been getting her out of there, where Joey couldn’t see her. Or Rose. Luckily, he didn’t think anyone had, and he’d quickly persuaded her to come with him somewhere private. Now, he could see he might have overreacted in the heat of the moment.
‘I’m not embarrassed just surprised to see you.’ He handed her a glass of iced water. ‘I’d no idea you were coming. What brings you back here?’
‘It’s a free country,’ she said lightly. ‘It’s not as if I’ve emigrated.’ She wandered to the window where laughter and music drifted up from the waterside. Finn joined her.
‘I know that.’
The party was ramping up in the village. People would be wondering where he was. Joey would be wondering.
‘So,’ he began as calmly as he could. ‘Joey doesn’t know you’re here?’
‘Not yet.’ Lauren sank into the sofa, no doubt exhausted after her journey from London. ‘I’m sorry for overreacting too. Of course I’ve a reason for coming back. In fact, I’ve thought about it every day since I walked out last year. I love my job, but I miss what I left behind so much. It was precious. I think I made a huge mistake.’
‘With Joey?’ Finn couldn’t help his shock.
‘Yes. I’ve realised what I threw away with Joey and I want to put that right.’
Finn suppressed a groan. While he suspected Joey was still in love with Lauren, he wasn’t sure his brother would want to start all over again after he’d been so badly hurt. Joey had changed … but Finn had no control over that.
‘Have you ever told Joey why you left in the first place?’ he said softly.
‘Why would I do that? He’d be gutted.’
‘I – I wrestled with myself a long time about whether to tell him, but nothing happened between us.’
‘You wanted it to, Finn. Don’t deny it.’
‘No. Yes. I like you and yes, of course I was attracted to you, but you were virtually engaged to Joey.’ He couldn’t disguise his frustration or his shock that Lauren was back, and once again in his flat behind his brother’s back. ‘Joey and I don’t see eye to eye over a lot of things, but I’d never have betrayed him like that. The kiss we had …’ He remembered the charged atmosphere when Lauren had come round to the studio, in tears after the fight with Joey.
‘You know I’d had a bad shift at work. Lots of bad shifts. I was exhausted and Joey and I had a row. He – you may as well know – he proposed to me that evening, but I said it wasn’t the right time.’
Finn closed his eyes in dismay. ‘He proposed?’
‘Yes. He was upset when I didn’t say yes and I tried to make him understand that I couldn’t think about marriage yet, kids and all that. He blew up and walked out. I told him that if he wasn’t prepared to wait and give me some breathing space then maybe we weren’t right for each other.’
‘Don’t say that. You loved Joey.’
‘I know that now but that night, I wanted you. I wanted you so badly and that kiss …’
‘When you were upset and exhausted and needed comfort,’ Finn repeated.
‘Yes. All those things. I realise that now, but it sowed the seeds of doubt in my mind. I thought if I’d kissed his brother, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to marry him, then we really did need some space. I’d been headhunted for the London job and I’d been stalling. When I left here that morning …’
Finn swallowed hard. He’d let Lauren sleep at his place. In his bed, while he took the sofa. He couldn’t say he’d slept because he’d not had a wink.
‘When I left, I went back to my parents. You know the rest.’
Finn knew only too well. Dorinda had called to say that Joey’s boat had gone out but he hadn’t told anyone where he was. She’d said she couldn’t raise Lauren either and wondered if she might have gone to work. Finn had said he didn’t know anything because he didn’t, but he’d been sick with worry and guilt. What if Joey had done something …
In the end, Joey had come back. Albeit a different version of Joey: bitter, cocksure, declaring Lauren could do what she wanted and he didn’t care. He was going to have a good time, not get serious again.
Yet Rose had come onto his radar … a bigger challenge than most of the women he’d dated since, but perhaps only that, as Finn had suspected at the start, a challenge …
‘Why don’t you sit down?’ Lauren asked. ‘Pacing about like this won’t do you any good …’
‘I don’t want to sit down.’
‘If you’re afraid I’ll jump on you, you’re wrong.’ She smiled at him. ‘I came back to see Joey.’
Finn perched on the sofa, as tense as a coiled spring. ‘Are you really serious about getting back with Joey? It’ll finish him if you’re not.’
‘Yes, I’m serious about trying to make a go of it again. Can I stay here for a moment? Just while I get myself together to face Joey? It’s been a long journey and I came straight to Falford in a taxi. I haven’t even been to see my folks.’
‘Yes.’ Finn softened. ‘But you will have to talk to him. I’m not sure who might have seen us come back here.’
‘I think I should go to Joey now. Where will he be?’
‘He might still be in the Ferryman. There’s a band and disco. Or the yacht club.’
Lauren smiled. ‘I miss the Ferryman and all the old gang.’ She sighed before adding wistfully, ‘I miss Falford, even though I thought it was stifling me. The big city isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.’
‘You’re a doctor. What you’ve done is incredible.’
‘Yes, but it’s been a hell of a year as you can imagine. I’m knackered and I’ve had a lot of long dark nights of the soul to think about what I left behind.’ She stood up. ‘I’m going to find Joey. I’ll message him and arrange to meet. Do you think he’ll mind being dragged away from the party?’
‘Mind?’ Finn gave an intake of breath. ‘No, he won’t mind but he’s going to be shocked. He’ll need time to adjust.’
‘I do know I’ll have to rebuild his trust. If I even can.’ She embraced Finn again, briefly, as a brother. ‘Thank you for being here again. For trying to pick up the pieces of me and of Joey. I’ll leave you now.’ She searched his face and laughed. ‘You seem relieved.’
He smiled. ‘I’m only a bit knackered; I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. I shouldn’t have said that to an A&E doctor,’ Finn said.
She patted his arm. ‘Now I’ve settled in and have the headspace, I’ve realised what I should have valued before. Take care you don’t do the same, lovely Finn. Work is important but don’t forget the people as you’re racing by. You mustn’t lose sight of them in the rush.’
He pictured her walking down the hill towards the boatyard. He also pictured Joey, lifting a pint at the Ferryman, oblivious to the fact that the woman who’d broken his heart was about to walk into his life – and shatter it again. Or put it back together.
He thought of Rose, perhaps she was at the Ferryman too – oh God, let Lauren not crash into them both.
How would Rose feel when she knew Lauren was back? Would Joey cause a scene with Lauren? Blank her? Have another row? As soon as Lauren had gone, he had to find Rose and make sure she was OK.