Finn leaned back in his seat and let out a breath. ‘It’s safe to say I wasn’t expecting that.’
‘Why would you? There was no easy way to break it to you but … you did join a bone marrow register a few years ago?’
‘Yes … Yes, I did.’
‘Then it is you! I knew it was either you or Joey. I just wasn’t sure …’ Rose hesitated. ‘Until very recently.’
‘I see …’ Finn felt as if he was picking himself up from the ground after a massive explosion. He was still disorientated; his brain couldn’t process what she’d told him. ‘Is that why you’re here?’
‘It’s why I came to Falford in the first place. It’s not why I’m here with you – now. I’ve thought about my donor every day since I received the transplant, who he was and where he might be. I only knew it was a man and that he would have been under thirty when he gave the stem cells.’ Rose seemed to be racing through the words, piling one shock on top of another. She’d obviously had years to prepare for this moment; he’d had seconds.
He’d fully expected her to say she was leaving Falford for Cambridge and that they were over. In fact, he’d been bracing himself for that unwelcome news for weeks. He’d harboured a faint hope she might say she was staying, or at least wanted to continue the relationship but now, he felt completely blindsided.
‘I – is the donation the only thing that made you decide to come here?’
‘Not only that. I was offered the study grant in Cornwall and I knew – had worked out it was one of you – it’s a long story but I had a very good idea. I couldn’t help myself. Your card had a painting of the estuary by Nash. You haven’t been in this situation or you might have done the same. I wanted to – to thank you and tell you what you’ve done for me. How your gift of life has transformed me.’ She smiled. ‘But you know that because you replied to my letter.’
None of this made much sense to Finn but his whole world had been turned upside down. ‘Yes … but I still can’t believe it was you.’
‘It sounds so embarrassing. Now that I know you. It’s … a bit weird.’
‘I don’t think it’s weird.’ He didn’t have a word to describe what had happened. ‘Rose, did you want to get close to us – to me and Joey – because you were convinced that one of us saved your life?’
‘Yes. I suppose so … initially, but that’s absolutely not why I’ve stayed friends. Why I’ve enjoyed getting closer to you.’ She seemed on the edge of tears. ‘Much closer.’
‘If you hadn’t thought it was us, you wouldn’t have come to Falford at all though.’
‘No. Finn, I can see this is a massive shock, but I don’t want it to make a difference to me and you now. I should have been honest from the start, but I liked you – I knew I wanted to be with you from before I knew it was you.’ She groaned. ‘I wish I’d told you who I was before I found my letter in your drawer.’
‘You were looking for the letter?’
‘No. I promise you! That was an accident. I needed a sweater this morning so I thought you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed one and my letter was in the drawer. Then I went home and to make sure I wasn’t going mad, I checked the handwriting on the card you sent me against a …’ She glanced away, chewing her bottom lip. ‘Against a shopping list in the bin … It is your writing, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is.’ Finn felt sick.
‘I was so worried that you might not believe I genuinely like you because you’re the donor, but it’s not true. Falling for your rescuer. The man who saved your life. It’s a cliché. Psychologically it’s a terrible idea but I can’t help it.’ She let out a huge breath. ‘Phew. I feel better for telling you even if it has been a shock. I know you’ll have loads of questions. Ask me anything.’
The relief was clear in her eyes. He had a hundred questions but still could hardly frame his thoughts.
‘I – I – so when did you first become ill?’
‘Looking back, I was probably developing the condition towards the start of my master’s degree but I assumed it was only tiredness and stress because I’d been off to do a year as a field archaeologist and learn my trade …’ She laughed, probably because she was so relieved to have told him.
Finn wasn’t relieved, he was stunned, overwhelmed that the woman he loved had sought him out so very deliberately.
‘I’d worked in the UK and on a necropolis in Malta and for a year after my finals and then started the master’s. Gradually I felt more and more run-down and exhausted. I wondered if I’d picked up a bug or glandular fever somewhere. Somehow I managed to get through the next few terms and got my degree, but I had a sense I was on borrowed time.’
He saw the fear in her eyes. It was the memory of terrible times. He wanted to hold her but couldn’t. ‘Go on …’
‘I got my master’s and started my PhD, but I knew I’d have to stop. I started feeling light-headed. I thought it was stress, but when I fainted while I was out with my friends, I decided to go to the doctor. They ordered tests and eventually I was diagnosed with aplastic anaemia.’
She must have seen his puzzled look. He’d heard of people having anaemia but not of anyone dying because of it.
‘It means your bone marrow doesn’t make enough blood cells to move the oxygen around your body. Gradually the fatigue and headaches were so severe, I couldn’t even concentrate on a newspaper let alone study and research.’
‘Do you … have any idea why you got so sick in the first place?’
‘It might have been caused by a viral infection that triggered an autoimmune reaction and caused my immune system to turn against my own cells.’
He was too stunned to reply. He couldn’t believe what Rose had been through, or that she hadn’t told him that she’d come to Falford to find her donor.
‘I can see you’re pretty overwhelmed. I hope this doesn’t change things?’ There was hope – and doubt – in her voice, but Finn was still too floored to know how to respond.
‘No … I … I just need time to take it in.’
‘I’m not sure how much the transplant charity will have told you about me? Probably not a lot. Did you even know a woman was receiving the stem cells?’
‘No … they didn’t say that.’
She nodded, smiling. ‘I thought not. They did tell me a man had donated, however. You have no idea what it felt like, that moment when I was told they’d found a match and the hope – it nearly finished me, wondering if the tests would show we could go ahead. I was in agony, wondering if you might change your mind, but I tried not to show it to my gran.’
Finn nodded, too full of emotion to answer coherently. He might embarrass himself. He’d never fully realised what going on the register meant. He’d tried not to imagine too much about the people waiting … hoping … He’d gone on that list because of the drive for donors in the village when a local lad had become sick and because, although Nash hadn’t died from a blood disorder, Finn had wanted to try and prevent someone else from losing a loved one to cancer.
Sadly, no one had turned out to be a match and, horrifyingly, the boy had passed away. It had been a devastating blow to the family and community so Finn had pushed the fact he’d signed up to the back of his mind. Secretly, in his dark moments after the boy had died, he’d convinced himself that he’d begun to think joining it was a waste of time until the phone at the boatyard had rung one morning.
That call had resulted in Rose being in front of him now.
‘I don’t need to tell you about the transplant day. I expect it’s imprinted on your memory but while you got to go home after a day giving your blood, I was in hospital for a month. I’d had chemo to destroy my old immune system and my hair fell out.’
‘But it’s so beautiful now …’
She smiled. ‘Thanks, but I feel I’ve cheated. My old hair was darker and straighter. It’s hard to believe because it grew back like this.’ She held up a curl. ‘Lighter and curlier. I’m too scared to have more than a trim now. I thought it might never come back.
‘I was home for a couple of weeks, thinking everything was slowly getting to be more normal when I had an infection and had to go back in for another two weeks. That wasn’t much fun but …’ She heaved a sigh. ‘After that setback, I really was on the road out of it all. Slowly I got stronger, finished my PhD part-time and got a job as a researcher and lecturer in the archaeology department. In fact, I’ve even stopped the immuno-suppressants. I just take the antibiotics now.’
‘It must have been terrifying.’
‘It was. One day I was enjoying being a student, the next I was a patient, and my life depended on a stranger and on chance. Having control over my very existence taken from me was the worst part. But there’s another side to it. I knew the cure was out there. It wasn’t as if I’d been told there was nothing that could be done, like so many people. I was incredibly lucky that this amazing treatment is available. And even luckier I found a match that was a good one. Better than that: the best kind. I was young and my body had accepted the bone marrow.’
Finn’s throat dried, confronted with the possibility that Rose might have died – would have died without the transplant, and the possibility that she might get sick again. ‘And you’re fully recovered now?’ he said, fearing the answer.
‘Yes, as much as anyone ever can be. It’s been four and a half years since the transplant and the risk of me relapsing is now pretty low. Of course, it could come back, but that’s very unusual. They look after me—’ she rolled her eyes ‘—I have regular check-ups, blood tests and scans but so far I’ve been OK. I don’t worry about it as much. Some days I don’t even think about it and I just get on with living my life like a normal person.’ She laughed. ‘If you can call it normal to travel three hundred miles to find the man who saved your life and end up—’ she smiled and looked awkward ‘—here with him.’
‘I’m glad you’re here.’ It was all Finn could say.
‘And this – you knowing it was you – does it change things between us?’
‘No … of course not.’ How could he say anything else, even though her revelation had knocked his world from its axis and the whole basis for their relationship had been turned on its head?
She reached for his hand and held it. He wanted to hold her and kiss her, but he didn’t dare.
‘Thank God I’ve got it off my chest. I knew you’d have loads of questions. Ask anything you want whenever, but first …’
She kissed him and Finn allowed himself to forget. Holding her was infinitely more precious, and after they’d made love, he lay with her in his arms, stroking her hair and wondering over and over at the miracle that she was here at all.
She propped herself up on one elbow and looked into his face. ‘I’ve got some other good news too.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I’ve – me and the local uni – have been awarded a grant from the Foundation for Antiquities to put the sword on display here in an exhibition. The sword stays in Falford and it will help Cornish Magick.’
He smiled because he couldn’t help being caught up in the excitement and pleased for the community but it evaporated instantly.
In her happiness, Rose hadn’t noticed and rushed on. ‘And – and – the other piece of good news. I hope it’s good news …’ She faltered. ‘I have to tell you. I’ve been offered a job!’ Her eyes gleamed with joy, which made Finn’s misery even greater. ‘I’ve been offered a fellowship at Penryn.’
‘Penryn?’
‘Yes. If I take it, it would mean I would be based here in Cornwall after Christmas for the spring term and summer term next year. It’s partly because of Oriel finding the sword, which helped to finally swing the grant application our way,’ she said, her eyes shining. ‘But that’s not all. Professor Ziegler has offered me an academic position at Penryn. It’s a promotion. I’d be head of department.’
‘Congratulations. That’s brilliant.’
‘Isn’t it? I can’t believe it. Not only will I be researching and teaching students, but they also want me to do public engagement work, going out to schools as well as setting up an exhibition about the sword and other ancient sites. Professor Ziegler was at the regatta. I was dressed as a mermaid and I awarded her grandkids the sandcastle prize – I thought any credibility I had was blown out of the water, but she said that my passion for the community shone through, that I wasn’t “simply paying lip service” and so the university was happy to offer me the job.’
‘That’s wonderful …’ Finn found he was grinning and yet dying inside.
‘It means you won’t be getting rid of me after all. If I take the job, of course.’ She laughed, seemingly unaware of the turmoil in his heart. ‘You know I don’t believe in magic or any of that stuff and there’s a perfectly logical reason why I came here to Falford. It was my decision entirely but … us getting together and the way we feel about each other …’ She laughed. ‘Don’t quote me on this but I can’t help thinking it might be fate.’