CHAPTER 17

As soon as Kasey was deeply asleep, Ashwin carefully got up and quietly made his way into the kitchen, where his mother was busy preparing everything for the dinner they were having that evening. She turned and gave him a smile, but he could still see the concern for Kasey etched on her face as she inquired, “How is she? Did she fall asleep?”

Ashwin smiled and embraced his mother in a gentle hug, then replied, “Yes, she's fine. I need to borrow your car for a couple of hours. Is that OK?”

Ashwin's mother nodded. “Of course it's OK. You just be careful.”

Ashwin smiled as he grabbed the keys off the hook just under the wall phone. “I will, A-lu-li. And thank you.”

“What do you want me to tell Kasey if she wakes up before you get back?”

“Just tell her that I've gone into town to check on some new tires and I'll be back soon. If you need me for anything, call my cell.”

His mother nodded and watched him leave, then returned to her enjoyable task of preparing dinner.

Ashwin hadn't been up to the mountain in years, not since he was due to participate in his first-ever peyote ceremony, but the road and the scenery were just as he remembered. Tall evergreens lined both sides of the road, which was terrifyingly steep at times, but somehow he always managed to make it safely to the top of the mountain where his friend lived. The man who lived alone on the mountain was the best-kept secret between himself and the chief, and as Ashwin parked in front of the man's house, he shook his head and smiled when he realized that some things just never changed, and for that he was glad. He got out of the car and stretched, then smiled when he saw the smoke that curled lazily out of the chimney. He slowly walked up onto the porch of the old wooden cabin, then politely knocked three times and waited for his long-time friend to open the door. Moments later he did, and Ashwin was greeted with a firm handshake and a smile. Ashwin smiled back and said, “Osiyo, Fox. How have you been?”

The short, hunched-over aging Cherokee with the long gray braided ponytail smiled up at Ashwin and said, “Ashwin, my boy, come in!,” before he slowly walked across the living room and sat down on the sofa. The small cabin smelled like wood smoke from the fire burning in the fireplace, and as Fox pulled his pipe from his shirt pocket he said, “I'm getting old, Ashwin. How is everyone?”

Ashwin smiled and sat down across from his friend. “Would you believe the chief and my mother are getting married?”

“Married?”

“Yes.”

“Ha! Well I'll be.” He rubbed the gray stubble that dotted his jaw and added, “And when is all of this supposed to take place?”

“January.” Ashwin leaned back in the worn yet comfortable recliner and added, “I'm planning to do the same,” as Fox lit his pipe and took a deep puff. The pleasant aroma of cherry tobacco suddenly filled the air, and after taking another puff Fox replied, “I figured you'd already be married with about ten little Injuns running around.”

Ashwin laughed at his friend's crass humor, then shook his head and said, “No, not yet.”

Fox nodded and took another puff, then slowly blew a smoke ring before he inquired, “So what brings you all the way up to see me?”

Ashwin took a deep breath and replied, “I need some peyote, Fox.”

“You do, eh?”

“Yes, I do. It's for a very important ceremony that we're having tomorrow evening on the reservation.”

Fox waved his hand in the air and said, “You don't have to explain nothin' to me, my boy.” He pointed with his thumb and added, “It's where it's always been. Take as much as you need.”

Ashwin nodded and got to his feet, then slowly walked through Fox's kitchen and into the bedroom that the man had converted into a fascinating indoor desert. He was stunned to see row after row of perfect Lophophora Williamsii plants growing on the floor-to-ceiling shelves, and after filling a large brown paper bag with several mescaline buttons, he walked back into the living room and retrieved a smaller bag from the inside pocket of his jacket. He tossed it onto the coffee table in front of Fox and inquired, “The usual?”

“Is that a year's worth of home-grown tobacco?”

Ashwin nodded. “Yes, sir, it is.”

Fox nodded and took another puff on his pipe. “Pleasure doing business with you, my boy. You're welcome here anytime.”

Ashwin smiled at the old man as he made his way toward the door. “Likewise, my friend. You take care.”

Fox simply nodded and puffed on his pipe. “Always do.”

Kasey woke shortly after Ashwin returned, and as she drowsily shuffled up the hallway, she suddenly stopped and gasped when she heard, “I hope...you little bitch...sweet dreams...last time...Ashwin...”

The voice was so vicious and so real that she immediately felt another panic attack looming, but before she could do anything her chest tightened painfully as her throat began to close. She dropped to her knees in the middle of the hallway, her eyes wide with terror as she automatically clutched at her throat with her hand, and that's how Ashwin found her moments later. He effortlessly picked her up and hurried into the bedroom, then settled her against the pillows before he gently placed his cupped palm over her nose and mouth. “Breathe,” he instructed as Kasey automatically curled her hands around his wrist, desperate to get some air into her lungs. She struggled to take a deep, gasping breath, but it seemed to be useless as her chest burned and her vision wavered. Ashwin gently placed his other hand in the center of her chest and leaned forward, then murmured, “Just relax, Kasey...breathe...I'm not going to let anything happen to you...that's it...one more...” His voice trailed off as Kasey finally relaxed and managed to pull a deep breath into her lungs, and even though Ashwin cautiously removed his cupped hand from her nose and mouth, he kept his other hand pressed gently against her chest as she continued to take slow, deep breaths. Once again she was struck with an odd lethargy, and Ashwin's concern was evident as he checked her pulse and inquired, “What's happening to trigger these panic attacks, sweetheart?”

Kasey forced her eyes open as she drowsily mumbled, “Don't know...voices...so real...scary...”

Ashwin sat back and frowned as he mulled over what she'd just told him, and he could only hope that her mind wasn't unraveling due to everything she'd been through. Even though he suddenly had misgivings regarding her participation in the peyote ceremony, he was even more convinced that it was the only option that could truly heal her, and it was the only one he had left.

Kasey sat at the table, hoping against hope that she wouldn't have another panic attack in front of Ashwin's mother and the chief. She remained quiet as she slowly pushed her food around on her plate, but she knew that Ashwin was keeping an eagle eye on her, even if it didn't appear that way. Every so often she'd take a bite of the mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, and celery that Ashwin's mother had made, careful to pick the bits of venison out before putting the rest of the food into her mouth. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't bring herself to eat Bambi, even though the last thing she wanted to do was insult Ashwin's mother. No one seemed to be paying much attention, though, and she sighed as she carefully dipped her biscuit into the gravy and took a small bite. She daintily wiped her mouth and took a sip of the wine that the chief had brought, and upon realizing how delicious it was, she picked up her glass and downed half of it in one swallow. The chief saw what she'd done and remarked, “That's some pretty good stuff, eh?”

Kasey nodded. “Yes, it is. What kind of wine is it?”

“It's homemade muscadine wine.”

Kasey smiled and said, “My father used to have a muscadine vine,” before she took another, smaller sip. She wiped her mouth and added, “It's delicious. Thank you.”

The chief smiled and turned his attention back to Ashwin and his mother, and Kasey felt positively dejected as she sat there playing with her food and getting drunk on homemade wine. She was contemplating taking another bite of her biscuit when she suddenly heard, “Time of death, ten-thirty.” A deep sigh, and then, “Someone had better call Ashwin.” She gasped as her fork slid from her fingers and clattered onto her plate, but she was determined to prevent another panic attack if at all possible. Try as she might, though, she couldn't stop the way her chest began to tighten, and Ashwin was on his feet in a matter of seconds when he realized what was happening. Kasey turned tortured, pleading eyes to him as she wheezed, “Please, make it stop...” before she mercifully went limp in his arms.

“Kasey...Kasey, can you hear me, sweetheart?” Ashwin gently inquired as he leaned over to stroke Kasey's cool, pale cheek. She stirred and slowly opened her eyes, then bit her lip when she saw the deep concern on Ashwin's handsome face. He'd been sitting beside the bed ever since she'd fainted, and relief flooded him when he saw that she was finally awake. He gently pushed the hair out of her eyes and said, “Hi there. How are you feeling?”

Tears welled in Kasey's eyes as she desperately whispered, “What's happening to me?”

Ashwin sighed. “I was hoping you could tell me that, sweetheart.”

“Why won't you tell me your big secret?”

“I can't just tell you, Kasey. You need to see it for yourself.”

Kasey frowned in confusion at his words. “What does that mean?”

“It means that just telling you won't exactly be beneficial. There are certain things that you need to see, and do, in order to rid yourself of whatever it is that's happening to you.”

“Rid myself? You make it sound like I'm possessed or something.”

Ashwin shook his head. “No, sweetheart, you aren't possessed. There are just some unresolved issues you have that must be dealt with.”

“And how do I do that?”

“As I've told you before, everything will be made clear to you tomorrow evening.”

“I don't know if I can stand another day of having these panic attacks.”

“I'll be right here with you, sweetheart. I won't let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?”

Kasey nodded. “With my life.”

Ashwin gently linked his fingers with hers and pressed his thumb against her wrist to check her pulse, then said, “Then it's settled. I'll take care of you, and tomorrow evening, I will help you finally get rid of whatever it is that's tormenting you.”

“How?”

Ashwin's mouth quirked as he shook his head. “Patience is NOT one of your virtues, is it?”

“I suppose not.”

Ashwin smiled as he leaned over and dropped a gentle kiss to Kasey's lips. “That's OK, sweetheart, I love you anyway.” He turned when there was a knock at the bedroom door, and after calling out, “Come in,” he got to his feet when the chief walked into the room, his mother close behind. He glanced down at Kasey in concern and inquired, “Is she alright, son?”

Ashwin nodded. “She's better.”

The chief nodded. “Good.” He pulled Ashwin into the hallway and quietly inquired, “Are you still planning to have the ceremony tomorrow evening?”

Ashwin nodded. “Yes, sir. Without it, I fear she will only get worse and end up self-destructing.”

The chief sighed deeply and said, “I understand. Whatever you feel is necessary, I will see to it that it's done.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

Ashwin's mother stepped into the hallway then, her face lined with worry as she said, “The poor dear. The child isn't well. Is there anything I can do?”

“I will need your help tomorrow afternoon, A-lu-li,” Ashwin replied as he glanced into the open door of the bedroom to check on Kasey. “I will explain in more detail later, after she has gone to sleep for the night.”

Ashwin's mother nodded and said, “Very well, then. If there's anything you need before then, just let me know.”

Ashwin nodded and hugged his mother. “I will, A-lu-li. Thank you.”