CHAPTER 20

Kasey lay huddled beneath the blankets, her will to live shattered as tears continued to slowly stream down her pale cheeks. The chief had insisted on putting her to bed as soon as they'd arrived back at Mrs. Ross' house, and as everyone gathered quietly in the kitchen and living room to partake of the massive amount of food that had been brought over, Kasey simply lay staring at the wall as her mind insisted on replaying every moment she'd shared with Ashwin. She remembered that last kiss he'd given her after the peyote ceremony, and fresh, hot tears slid silently down her cheeks as she hugged his pillow to her chest and sobbed into its soaked cotton cover. Her tears had washed away his scent, but she didn't care as she continued to lay there, drowning in her grief as she pictured him in the ground and unable to do anything for her ever again. She gave a firm shake of her head in a desperate attempt to rid it of such horrid thoughts, and after what seemed like forever, she finally cried herself to sleep.

Kasey had no idea how long she'd slept as she opened her eyes and blinked into the disconcerting darkness of the bedroom. Despair washed over her like a massive tsunami, destroying her spirit as her thoughts were immediately filled with Ashwin. She had to use the bathroom, though, and as she slowly sat up she wasn't surprised by how weak she felt. The last thing she'd eaten had been the peyote, and that seemed like forever ago as she slowly made her way to the bathroom and turned on the light. Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she glanced over at the tub she and Ashwin had bathed in a few days before, and as she sat there in the too-bright bathroom, she suddenly wondered if there were any razor blades in the medicine cabinet. That thought was destroyed when she realized that she couldn't—no, wouldn't—do that to Ashwin's mother, and with a deep, watery sigh she realized that somehow, she was just going to have to manage until she got back to the Ocean Mist. She assumed that she'd be driving Ashwin's car back, and that thought alone was enough to cause a fresh onslaught of tears. She slowly wobbled over to the sink and washed her hands, then chanced a look in the mirror and grimaced at her reflection. Her face was a pale, tear-streaked mess, and her hair looked as if she'd gotten caught in a major windstorm. Her clothes hung pathetically on her too-slender body, and as she gripped the edge of the sink, she was surprised when a knock sounded on the bathroom door. She slowly walked over to the door and softly inquired, “Yes?”

“Kasey, honey, can you come into the living room? The chief and I need to discuss some things with you.”

Kasey nodded as her hand slipped from the knob. “Yes, Mrs. Ross. I'll be right out.”

“Very well, dear. We'll be waiting.”

Kasey wondered what they could possibly need to discuss with her as she picked up the hairbrush from the cool white porcelain of the sink. It was the same hairbrush that Ashwin had used just a few days before, and even more tears streaked down her face as she slowly pulled the brush through her tangled mess of hair. Before she set the brush down, she saw a strand of his long, black hair caught in the bristles. She carefully pulled it out, then walked into the bedroom and tucked it into the small inside pocket of her purse. She walked back into the bathroom and scrubbed her face with a cold wash cloth, but nothing could hide the fact that she'd been crying excessively as she finally opened the door to the bedroom and stepped into the hall. She slowly walked up the dimly lit hallway and stopped at the junction of the hallway and the living room, where Ashwin's mother and the chief were sitting side by side on the sofa. Everyone else had finally left, and a fire crackled warmly in the fireplace as Kasey wearily leaned against the wall, literally unable to take another step. “Yes, Mrs. Ross? You needed to see me?”

Ashwin suddenly stepped in front of her, his face dark with concern as he softly said, “No, I did.”

Kasey gasped and staggered backwards at the sight of him, and her hand flew to her chest as she opened her mouth to scream. Try as she might, though, the only thing she was capable of emitting was a faint squeak, but before she toppled completely backwards, Ashwin reached out and firmly pulled her forward. He held her close against his warm, solid body, effectively cradling her in his embrace as he murmured, “It's alright, sweetheart. Breathe...”

Kasey weakly pushed against his chest as she finally found her voice. “It—it can't be! They buried you today! I—I was there!”

Ashwin closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her as he murmured, “I'm here, and I'm fine.”

Kasey weakly shook her head as her tears soaked the front of his shirt. “Oh God,” she moaned as she clung to his strong, broad shoulders, shoulders that were warm with the essence of life and not cold and rotting in some grave. Ashwin continued to hold her as she leaned heavily against him, and his voice was gentle as he murmured, “Didn't I tell you I'd be alright?”

Overwhelmed with the emotion of the past few days, in addition to what she was experiencing at the moment, Kasey could only whimper before she helplessly went limp in his arms.

Kasey slowly opened her eyes and blinked, then felt her overwhelming grief return as she remembered the cruel, vivid dream she'd had. In it, Ashwin was alive, and he had even returned to his mother's house to--

“Ah, I see you're awake,” Ashwin said as he walked into the room and sat down on the bed. Kasey's eyes widened in a mixture of disbelief and fear as she quickly sat up, but Ashwin shook his head and gently pushed her back down against the pillow as he admonished, “Lie down, sweetheart. You need to rest.”

Kasey's eyes were still wide as she shook her head and whispered, “Ashwin...how...”

Ashwin smiled and replied, “I will tell you everything, as soon as you've gotten some rest.”

She was surprised that he hadn't said anything about her obvious lack of food for the past few days, but her surprise was a bit premature as he eyed her unusually slender frame and added, “I think you need something to eat more than you need to rest.” With that, he easily lifted her into his arms and carried her into the kitchen, then sat her down at the table and amiably inquired, “What would you like to eat, sweetheart? There's chicken, meat loaf, casseroles, soups, stews...”

Kasey gave her head a firm shake and even pinched herself hard on the bare, exposed flesh of her thigh just to make sure she wasn't caught in some weird, cruel, never-ending dream, but she couldn't shake the incredulous tone of her voice as she said, “You literally come back from the dead and then you stand there wanting to know what I want for dinner?”

Ashwin turned from the vast array of food on the counter to give her that enigmatic smile before he casually replied, “Um, something like that, yes.”

“Tell you what...You tell me what really happened, and I'll tell you what I want for dinner. Does that sound fair?”

Ashwin shrugged and sat down across from her at his mother's kitchen table, then folded his hands together in front of him and nodded. “That sounds fair.”

Kasey sat there looking at him expectantly, and after releasing a deep sigh he said, “I didn't really die, sweetheart. I lost quite a bit of blood, but as you can see, I'm not dead. I stayed in the hospital overnight, then went to the chief's house. He decided to go ahead and pretend that I was dead for my own protection. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that Silver Moon is the one who shot me.”

“But Ashwin...there was a casket...a funeral service...the casket was put into the ground! I was there!” Fresh tears welled in her eyes at the memory, and Ashwin leaned over to gently brush her tears away with his finger as he explained, “I know you were, sweetheart. I hate that you had to go through all of that, but it had to look believable. Otherwise, who knows what Silver Moon would've tried to do next?”

Kasey gave him a puzzled look. “How did you know I was there?”

Ashwin leaned back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest as he gave her that enigmatic smile again. “Did you really think I wouldn't attend my own funeral?”

“But--”

“I was there, Kasey. I saw you on the ground...and you have no idea how much I wanted to run over to you and assure you that I was alright. But I couldn't.”

Kasey mulled over his words before she softly inquired, “So where did you get shot?”

Ashwin sighed and pulled his shirt up. “In the side, but it was just a flesh wound. However, it still hurt like hell and bled pretty badly.”

Kasey eyed the medium-sized, square gauze bandage that was taped to his left side, then finally met his gaze and said, “I see.” Unbidden, more tears sprang to her eyes, and Ashwin frowned in concern when he realized just how distraught she'd been and obviously still was. Although she was struggling to bring herself under control, she was failing miserably, and Ashwin simply got up and cradled her on his lap as he sat back down and murmured, “Kasey, sweetheart, I'm fine. There's no need for you to be this upset.”

“I thought you were dead!” she wailed as she delivered a rather weak tap to the center of his chest as all of her anguish finally came pouring out of her. Her body shook as she angrily swiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks and added, “It was horrible, Ashwin! I didn't know what I was going to do! I was at the point of searching for razor blades in the bathroom!”

Ashwin leaned back and gazed at her, his face even darker with concern at what she'd just said. “Kasey, no...That would solve nothing.”

“Sure it would! I wouldn't have been in pain anymore!”

Ashwin suddenly tightened his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head as he murmured, “Kasey, sweetheart, I'm here, I'm fine, and I'm not planning on going anywhere for a long, long time. OK?”

Even though he was holding her so tightly that she could barely move, much less breathe, Kasey didn't care. She savored the feel of being in his arms again, of feeling and hearing his heartbeat against her ear, of breathing in the scent that was uniquely his, of once again having the opportunity to wrap her fingers around his long, braided ponytail. She remained on his lap for a few more minutes until he got up and gently placed her in the chair she'd been occupying a few minutes before. As he straightened he said, “A deal is a deal. Now what would you like for dinner?”

“Food is always good.”

Ashwin smiled at her wise-ass remark and said, “Ah, now that's more like it. My Kasey is back.”

Exhausted and with nothing left to say, Kasey gave him a weak smile and forced herself to take a few bites of the soup he set in front of her before her weariness demanded that she get some sleep. Ashwin effortlessly lifted her out of the chair and cradled her against his chest as he returned to the bedroom, and after tucking her into bed, he got undressed and claimed his spot beside her before he drifted off to sleep.

When Kasey woke it was still dark, and for several moments she lay there in bed, wondering if Ashwin was really alive, or if it had all been a cruel, torturous dream. She slowly reached over to see if he was beside her, and his voice was quiet and gentle in the darkened room as he murmured, “Good morning. Sleep well?”

Kasey's voice caught in her throat at the feel of his warm, solid body next to hers, and as she moved closer to him she nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

Ashwin smiled into the dark as he put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, and after a few moments of silence he inquired, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. Much.”

“Good. That's what I wanted to hear.”

Kasey sighed and snuggled against the warmth of his body, but before she drifted back off to sleep she drowsily murmured, “I love you, Ashwin.”

Ashwin gently kissed the top of her head before he said, “I love you too, sweetheart. More than you'll ever know.”

His words meant everything to Kasey, and she was smiling as she drifted back to sleep.

When Kasey woke again it was still dark, and she was glad for Ashwin's warm, comforting body beside her. She rolled over to snuggle against him, and she gave a small squeal of surprise when Ashwin suddenly pulled her onto his chest and kissed the tip of her nose. “Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?”

Kasey smiled down at him. “I slept like a baby.”

“Good.” He wrapped his arms around her, effectively pinning her body against his as Kasey became aware of his warm, stiff member pressing urgently against the crotch of her panties. Her mouth fell open as her eyes widened in surprise, and Ashwin laughed at her expression as he murmured, “What's the matter, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?”

Kasey gasped softly when she felt Ashwin's finger slip inside her panties, and his smile was positively devilish as he slowly slid his finger deep inside her and murmured, “God, you're so hot and wet...I think you're ready for more than my finger.”

Kasey gasped again as he slowly withdrew his finger and slid her panties down in one smooth movement, and moments later she gave a ragged moan as Ashwin gently lifted her and guided her down onto his raging erection. Her eyes widened in pleasure as he gently pushed himself deep into her, and for several moments he forced himself to remain still as he locked his gaze with hers. “Is that too much for you, sweetheart?” he gently murmured as he carefully gauged Kasey's face for any sign of pain. Kasey slowly shook her head and leaned forward against his chest as she softly replied, “No...it feels perfect...”

Ashwin smiled at her response and slowly pushed upwards, and his voice was taut with desire as he murmured, “Do you know how long I've waited to do this, sweetheart? Too long...”

Kasey's gasp of surprise and pleasure turned into a low, ragged moan as Ashwin slowly pushed into her again, and as their movements became perfectly fluid, Kasey threw her head back and imagined she was riding bareback on a magnificent stallion. Ashwin's hands tightened on her waist as he slowly increased his pace and the depth of his strokes, and Kasey's moans became nonstop as Ashwin pushed deeper and deeper into her. She gave a ragged gasp when she felt Ashwin's fingers gently stroking and pinching her nipples, and when his mouth closed over one, Kasey moaned when she felt that delicious tension rise to a fever pitch. Ashwin continued his slow, deep thrusts as he continued to fondle and suckle her stiff, sensitive nipples, and her body shook with pleasure as the dam finally burst. She was free-falling in slow motion as waves of pleasure threatened to drown her, and several moments later Ashwin groaned and tightened his grip on her waist as he, too, experienced his own free-fall of pleasure. Kasey collapsed against his chest, her face wet with tears from the magnitude of her emotions and the pleasure he'd just given her. As their breathing slowly returned to normal, Ashwin gently stroked her back and murmured, “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Kasey reluctantly raised her head from his warm chest and smiled. “I'm better than alright.”

Ashwin laughed softly and murmured, “Is that so...”

Kasey's smile widened as she slowly nodded. Ashwin laughed at her surprised squeal as he suddenly rolled onto his side, then dropped a gentle kiss to her lips before he reluctantly withdrew from her soft, warm depths. Moments later he pulled her close and released a deep, content sigh before they both drifted back off to sleep.