CHAPTER 23
Ashwin and Kasey slept well past their planned departure time of seven a.m., but neither seemed to mind when they finally woke and joined Ashwin's mother in the kitchen shortly after ten a.m. She had prepared a pot of coffee, and as they all sat down at the table, she smiled at Ashwin and said, “I would have come in there and woken you up, but I figured you both needed your rest.”
Ashwin smiled and sipped his coffee. “Thank you, A-lu-li.”
“I take it you're leaving when you finish your coffee?”
Ashwin nodded. “Yes, ma'am. We have a six-hour drive ahead of us.”
“Well, you two be careful. Let me know when you get home.”
“I will.”
“Will you be coming back for the holidays, son?”
Ashwin sighed. “I'm going to try to, A-lu-li. It depends on my work schedule.”
“Would you like some lunch before you leave?”
Ashwin knew that his mother was dreading his departure, just as he also knew that delaying the inevitable would only make things harder for her. He smiled and slowly shook his head as he replied, “No thank you, A-lu-li. We'll grab something on the way home.”
Goga nodded and sipped her coffee, and when all of their cups were empty, Ashwin got to his feet and placed them in the sink. Kasey got to her feet and stood quietly behind Ashwin as he embraced his mother in a gentle hug, and there was no mistaking the bright sheen of tears in the woman's eyes as she bid her only son goodbye. When he stepped away, Kasey gave the woman a smile and a hug as she murmured, “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Ross. Thank you for allowing me to stay here.”
Goga smiled at Kasey and suddenly grasped her hands, then murmured, “Just make sure you take care of my Strong Horse.”
Kasey nodded. “I will, Mrs. Ross.”
“You two be careful.”
Kasey smiled. “We will.” She leaned in and gave the woman a quick kiss on the cheek, then turned and followed Ashwin out to the car. His mother came out onto the porch to wave goodbye, and as Ashwin turned the key in the ignition he casually inquired, “Do you have everything?”
Kasey nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.” He looked up and waved goodbye to his mother, then carefully backed the car out of her driveway and headed for the main highway. A few minutes later they arrived at the two-lane highway that ran through the town, and Kasey remained quiet as she took in the scenery—the small shops that boasted handmade, Native American goods, the small businesses that were closed because it was Sunday, and the scattering of mom and pop cafes that lined both sides of the street. Tall, majestic mountains were the backdrop for the charming little town, and she was treated to a magnificent display of color from the changing fall foliage. It was such a charming, beautiful place that she couldn't see why Ashwin had ever wanted to leave, and when she said as much to him, he shrugged and replied, “I had to open the door when opportunity knocked.”
Kasey nodded and glanced out the window at the breathtaking scenery, then gave a deep sigh as she thought about her parents. This time, however, there were no tears as she thought of them, and her silent reverie was interrupted by Ashwin's deep, gentle voice as he inquired, “What are you thinking about sweetheart?”
She sighed again as she turned to give him a sad smile. “My parents.”
“I see.”
Kasey cleared her throat before she quietly said, “Thank you, Ashwin.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For bringing me here. For helping me to see what I needed to see. For...everything.”
Ashwin gently placed his hand on her thigh and replied, “You're more than welcome, sweetheart, but there's no need to thank me.”
“Sure there is.”
“Why do you say that?”
Kasey finally turned to look at him. “Because you literally saved my life.”
Ashwin gave a slight shrug and smiled. “It's what we doctors do, sweetheart.”
Kasey shook her head in frustration at his insistence on treating the matter so lightly. “This had nothing to do with the fact that you're a doctor.”
“Then what DOES it have to do with?”
“The fact that you cared enough to go to such lengths for me.”
Ashwin reached over to ruffle her soft blonde hair as he murmured, “I happen to care a great deal about you, Kasey. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I hope you never forget that.”
Tears welled in her eyes at his quietly spoken, tender declaration of love, and as they silently slipped down her cheeks she linked her fingers with his and whispered, “I love you too, Ashwin. More than YOU'LL ever know.”
Ashwin's expression was serious as he replied, “I think I have a pretty good idea.”
“You do, do you?”
“Yes.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he added, “I remember how distraught you were when you thought I had died. Even my mother didn't know the truth. The chief kept me informed of how the two of you were taking the news. You have no idea how much I wanted to let you know that I was alright, but I couldn't. You already know why. But I promise that I will NEVER put you through that kind of grief again.”
Kasey bit her lip as she glanced out the window. “Some day you will.”
Ashwin sighed. “Yes, but I hope that doesn't happen for a VERY long time.”
Kasey shook her head and said, “OK, enough of this serious, depressing talk. Where are we going to stop for lunch?”
Ashwin laughed and said, “Wherever you want, sweetheart.”
After a delicious lunch at a small Mom and Pop diner, Ashwin and Kasey continued on their way home. Kasey was seriously contemplating taking a nap when Ashwin quietly stated, “There's something else I want to talk to you about, sweetheart.”
Kasey's curiosity was piqued as she replied, “What?”
Ashwin cleared his throat before he inquired, “Who molested you, sweetheart?”
Kasey gasped at his unexpected question, and tears suddenly welled in her eyes and clogged her throat as she choked out, “What kind of question is that?”
Ashwin shrugged. “One I want the answer to.”
Kasey avoided his gaze as she replied, “What difference does it make now?”
“It makes a LOT of difference. Have you ever had a chance to work through and resolve what happened?”
“What's your definition of resolution?”
Ashwin sighed. “Stop answering my questions with questions. If you don't want to talk about it, just tell me.”
Kasey sighed and shook her head, still avoiding his gaze as she softly replied, “No, it's alright. I don't mind telling you.”
“Good.”
Kasey glanced out the window as she said, “I was twelve. I was taking piano lessons, as was my cousin, who was an adult. We had the same piano teacher. He was also a cop. He—he did it one afternoon in the driveway at my parents' house. My father was at work and my mother was asleep because she worked the night shift. He had brought me home from my piano lesson. I remember—he—he--he did it right there in the car. My aunt's car, as a matter of fact. His mother's car.” She took a deep, shuddering breath and fought back tears at the memory as she continued, “Afterward, he told me not to tell anyone, or I'd be in trouble.”
Ashwin tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he nodded and gently coaxed, “Go on.”
Kasey had her fingers linked together so tightly in her lap that her knuckles were white as she continued to stare out the window, not seeing the passing scenery as she re-lived that dreadful afternoon. “I—I kept it to myself for about a week, until my mother realized that I was acting strangely. When she demanded to know what was wrong, I finally told her.” Another deep shuddering breath, and then, “She confronted him with it, and of course he denied it. Years later, when I was a teenager, I asked her why she had never had him prosecuted for what he had done to me. Her answer to me was that her brother had done the same to her, and I just needed to deal with it and get over it.”
Ashwin's knuckles had turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, and his mouth was set in a straight, grim line as he whispered, “Jesus, Kasey...I am SO sorry for what you went through.”
Kasey swallowed hard, not caring about the tears that were slipping down her cheeks as she said, “To this day, I can't stand to be around that particular cousin. He—he makes me physically ill. All I want to do is run as fast and as far away from him as I can.”
“That's understandable.”
“I don't know what was worse—the way my mother just brushed it off, or finding out that my father knew what had happened and did absolutely nothing about it.”
“I would have to say that both were equally atrocious.”
“I—I had a sister. She died in a car crash several years ago. Imagine how I felt when my father told me that not only had my cousin done that to me, he'd also done the same thing to my sister.”
Ashwin shook his head and reached over to take Kasey's hand. “I am SO sorry, sweetheart. I just can't imagine...”
“That's all in the past now, so I try not to think about it too much.”
“Is this cousin still alive?”
Kasey sighed. “Yes.”
“Does he live close by?”
“He lives close to my home town.”
Ashwin nodded as he began to formulate a plan in his mind, one that he had no intention of sharing with Kasey. He was smart enough to know that some things were better left unsaid, just as some things were better taken care of privately. And this was one of those things. He cleared his throat and casually asked, “What's his name?”
Kasey finally turned to give him a puzzled look. “Why do you want to know?”
Ashwin shrugged. “Just in case we ever come across him.”
“I doubt you will, but his name is Herbert. Most people call him Butch, though.”
Ashwin nodded as he filed that bit of info away in his mind, and he forced himself to sound casual as he inquired, “And you say he used to be a cop?”
“Yes.”
Ashwin nodded again and gave Kasey's hand a gentle squeeze. “I hope you know that none of what you just told me has any effect on my feelings for you, sweetheart.”
Kasey bit her lip, avoiding his gaze again as she softly said, “I'm glad.”
“Why would you think otherwise?”
“Because it's obvious that I have some serious baggage that the airline should have lost.”
Ashwin shrugged. “Everyone has 'baggage', sweetheart. We'll work through it together. How does that sound?”
Kasey nodded, too overcome with emotion to respond to his statement. She was surprised when Ashwin suddenly pulled into the parking lot of a gas station, but she said nothing as Ashwin got out of the car and came around to the passenger side. He opened the door and helped her out of the car, then wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head as he murmured, “No matter what, sweetheart, we will work through everything together. OK?”
“But Ashwin, I am SO fucked up--”
“Shh,” he replied as he tightened his hold on her, his voice soft yet stern as he commanded, “Don't say that. You are NOT fucked up. If I thought you were, I would have never taken you to my mother's house, and I would NOT have invited you to move in with me. Do you understand?”
Kasey slowly nodded, savoring the warmth and comfort of his embrace as she shamelessly soaked the front of his shirt with her tears. No one had ever shown her such acceptance and love, and she closed her eyes as she sent up a silent prayer of thanks to whatever or whoever was in charge of such things for sending him to her. After several minutes of simply standing there in his embrace, she finally raised her head and softly stated, “I, um, need to pee.”
Ashwin smiled and shook his head before he dropped a gentle kiss to her lips, and several moments later he raised his head and helpfully inquired, “Do you want me to go in there with you?”
Kasey gave him a strange look before she hesitantly replied, “Um, no...why would I need you to go in there with me?”
“This is a gas station, sweetheart. You never know what kind of perverts are lingering around the bathroom.”
“I'm sure the bathroom is on the inside, Ashwin.”
“Oh, OK. In that case, then, I'll go buy us some Cherry Cokes while you use the bathroom. How's that?”
Kasey nodded as she headed for the entrance to the store, feeling definitely off-balance after their conversation in the car, as well as that kiss he'd just given her in the parking lot. She suddenly couldn't wait to get home, just to show him how much she loved him.
“So tell me more about your sister,” Ashwin casually requested as he maneuvered the car along the winding Blue Ridge Parkway. Kasey reluctantly turned from the breathtaking scenery and glanced at him, then sighed and linked her fingers together in her lap as she softly inquired, “What would you like to know?”
“Everything.”
Kasey sighed again and said, “My sister was ten years older than me. She told me one time that at one point, she had to break me from the habit of calling her 'Mama'. Since mom worked the night shift and dad worked the day shift, my sister took care of me. She'd get me up for school, see to it that I had breakfast, and looked after me. We fought, of course, but those times were few and far between.”
Ashwin nodded. “Go on.”
“At some point she became the 'black sheep' of the family, at least in my parents' eyes. She got involved with some unsavory people at school and got into all kinds of trouble, which effectively ended her plans for becoming a CPA. Instead she went to work in a textile mill and did that kind of work for years. She had two husbands and several live-in boyfriends, one of whom beat her so badly that she ended up in the hospital and he ended up in prison.”
“I see.”
Kasey sighed deeply and continued. “It wasn't until I was older that my sister and I actually became friends instead of just sisters. We were also neighbors, and sometimes I would walk down to her place to have coffee with her, talk, and watch TV. She loved to watch those old 'I Love Lucy' reruns.”
Ashwin chuckled and said, “Let me guess...I bet her favorite episode was the one of her and Ethel in the chocolate factory.”
Kasey smiled at the memory and said, “Yes...how'd you know?”
Ashwin chuckled again and replied, “Just a lucky guess, I guess.”
“She had gotten involved with this guy, and I, for one, thought that maybe, just maybe, this guy would finally be the guy who would treat her right instead of taking advantage of her or physically abusing her.” She glanced out the window and softly added, “That wasn't the case, though.”
“What happened?”
“Well, she'd met the guy locally, and they seemed to hit it off. Then she found out that he owned a horse ranch down in Florida. So when he took off and went back to Florida, it wasn't long before she headed to Florida as well. She and her first husband had remained close friends, and he offered her a place to stay while she was visiting. She managed to land a small job as a bartender. But--”
Ashwin glanced over at her, his concern obvious as he softly inquired, “But what, sweetheart?”
“My sister found out that not only did he have a horse ranch, he also had a wife.”
“I see.”
“My sister spent roughly twelve hours in the bar, trying to drink her heartache away. She decided to drive home. Needless to say, she never made it.”
Ashwin glanced over in time to see the tears spill onto Kasey's tightly-clenched hands, and his voice was hoarse with emotion as he murmured, “Kasey, sweetheart, I am SO sorry...”
Kasey quickly swiped at her damp cheeks and shrugged. “Yeah, so am I. I miss her like crazy, though, even after all these years.”
“What was her name?”
“Deborah. Everyone called her Debbie. My dad would call her Little Debbie, like the snack cakes. Or sometimes he'd call her Debbie Doodle.”
Ashwin smiled at Kasey's words before he inquired, “What was she like?”
“Oh, she was a little spitfire when she had to be. She was fiercely independent—she lived life on HER terms. She was also as sweet as she could be.”
Ashwin laughed softly at her description and said, “She sounds like she was quite a character.”
“Oh, she was.”
“Did she ever tell you what your cousin had done to her?”
Kasey slowly shook her head. “No. I never knew about that until my father told me.”
“Did he show up for the funeral?”
Kasey sighed as she continued to gaze down at her tightly linked fingers. “I'm sure he did. I was too wrapped up in my grief to really notice, though.” She finally raised her head and added, “We got word on Monday that she'd been killed in a car accident. Since she was in Florida, she had to be embalmed before she could be sent back to South Carolina. From Monday until Thursday, I kept telling myself that some horrible mistake had been made, that at any minute she was going to come pulling into my parents' driveway wondering what all the fuss was about.” More tears silently splashed onto her hands as she added, “Come Thursday, that whole scenario was blown to bits when I finally had a chance to see her at the funeral home. The funeral director had done his best to fix her up, but she'd been so disfigured in the accident that only family members were allowed to see her. I remember leaning over the casket to hug her. Another cousin was there, and he had to pull me off of her.”
Ashwin reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, but he said nothing as Kasey continued, “I went back to see her at the funeral home, a few hours before the funeral. I felt I needed to see her alone before...well, you know. I had sent a huge arrangement of pink roses for the funeral. I plucked one out of the arrangement and placed it in her hands in the casket. She was buried with it still in her hands.”
Ashwin cleared his throat and softly stated, “I'm sure she knew how much you loved her, sweetheart, just as I'm sure she knows you sent the roses and put that one rose in her hands.”
Kasey sighed deeply and glanced out the window, not seeing the scenery as she re-lived the sorrow of losing her only sister. “I certainly hope so, Ashwin.”
“What are some of your happier memories of her?”
Kasey continued to stare out the window, but she gave a faint smile as she said, “We had gone to Myrtle Beach after my high school graduation. I convinced her to get on this ride at the amusement park. She had no idea what the ride was going to involve. The ride started off going in a circle before it flipped upside down and started spinning. While she was sitting behind me screaming, I was laughing my ass off.”
Ashwin chuckled and softly inquired, “Are there any more?”
“Oh, there are several. Probably too many to tell you about before we get home.” She glanced at the digital clock on the dashboard and added, “When WILL we be home?”
“In a few more hours.” He glanced over at her and grinned as he teased, “Why are you asking? Do you need to pee again?”
Kasey reached over and delivered a light slap to his arm before she replied, “Ha ha, very funny. For your information, the answer to that question is 'no'.”
“Are you sure?”
Kasey glanced out the window again before she said, “All I see are mountains and highway. I'm not going to pee in the woods, nor am I going to pee on the side of the road.”
“Why not?”
Kasey pinned him with an incredulous look. “I might get eaten by a bear.”
Ashwin laughed so hard that he had to wipe away tears, and he laughed even harder when he glanced over and saw that Kasey was sitting there with her arms folded, a petulant look on her face at his reaction to her statement. “What's so funny?”
Ashwin shook his head as he said, “YOU are.”
“Why am I funny?”
“I think getting eaten by a bear is the least of your worries if you're crouched on the side of the highway peeing.”
“Well, he might just be that hungry.”
Ashwin began laughing again, and several moments later Kasey inquired, “Now what are you laughing about?”
Ashwin shook his head again and said, “I was just thinking...if you're peeing, and a bear decided to eat you, then he'd be getting lucky, because he'd have something to eat AND drink.”
Kasey smacked him on the arm again as she said, “Eww! That was just...nasty!”
“I bet the bear wouldn't think so.”
“Look! A store!” Kasey exclaimed as she pointed to a small store just up ahead. Ashwin shook his head and pulled into the parking lot, then got out to stretch his legs as Kasey disappeared inside. He went inside and bought two Cherry Cokes, as well as a little surprise for Kasey. He was all smiles when she finally emerged from the bathroom, and he just couldn't resist as he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Did you see any bears in there?”
“I'm going to turn into a bear if you don't stop with the bear jokes.”
Ashwin laughed at her and said, “Oh, I'm so scared...”
“You should be,” Kasey replied as she got into the car and took the Cherry Coke he offered. Ashwin simply shook his head and laughed at her as he cranked the car and headed for home.