I loved my new house, I loved my new waterbed, and I loved the aquarium taking up a fiendish amount of space in the room. I didn’t love the quartet of bastards who forced me out of paradise. Luke dumped me out of bed and dragged me from my bedroom by my ankle.
“It’s time to get up,” he announced. “Ray! Help me carry this incoherent woman downstairs before Eddy comes up here and rampages.”
Eddy huffed. “I’m not going to rampage, but we have a schedule, and we need to stick to it. When the boss says we need to be at the dealership at ten, he means it.”
“But my waterbed,” I whined, reaching for it. “It’s so warm.”
“What was your mother thinking? We’re going to have to send a quad over to get you out of bed every morning.” Luke hauled me to the staircase. “We’ve been trying to get you up for an hour.”
I sighed in longing, arms still stretched in the direction of my new bedroom. “I didn’t know it was a waterbed until it ate me.”
“How’d you miss the presence of so much water?”
“Duck-induced coma.”
Luke sighed, released my ankle, and crouched beside me. “I’m impressed you shared any of it with us,” he admitted. “Can you walk down the stairs, or will Ray have to carry you?”
Detective Hunk came up the stairs, and he gave me a nudge in the ribs with the toe of his polished shoe. “It’s too early in the morning for that nonsense. Stop giving her a hard time over her difficulties getting up. Bubbles, Eddy got concerned and called your boss. They’re freaking out because you were recharging your battery. Breakfast and coffee is in the kitchen waiting for you. I’ll feed the fish. Someone is coming by later today to clean their tank.”
“Coffee!” I oozed down the staircase, and since I’d already left my self-respect and dignity in bed, I crawled to victory before slithering onto a stool at the island.
The coffee maker taunted me, but in good news, coffee’s water content made it ideal for me to manipulate. All I had to do was open my mouth, give a little pull, and receive coffee.
“That is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen,” Detective Hunk announced. “There’s a mug right there. You don’t have to siphon it right out of the pot.”
I drank my coffee and ignored his judgment until I’d emptied the pot into my belly. “You make great coffee. Please, sir. Can I have some more?”
“Will you drink it out of a mug this time?”
“I’ll sip it while eating breakfast. I will use the mug.”
“Unbelievable.” Laughing and shaking his head, he brought me a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. “Are you going to inhale an entire pot of coffee every morning?”
“It’s entirely possible.”
“Is that going to be enough food?”
I pointed at the counter near the dishwasher. “See that empty plate over there?”
“I do.”
“That’s what I usually eat on the way to work. I warned you. I’m a hopeless excuse of a human being.”
“How are you still alive?”
I turned on my stool to discover Eddy, Luke, and his quad watching me. I pointed at Eddy.
She sighed. “I make sure she eats a few times a week. Food is optional, and she has trouble with even using the microwave. If it’s not important to her, she just doesn’t pay attention.”
“I enjoy eating food I don’t make. I dislike spending the time required to make food. I also get distracted, so inevitably, the food burns.”
Raymond joined Eddy in sighing. “Well, that explains a lot. I have rules, Bubbles. I expect them to be followed. Following the rules gets you food and coffee.”
Damn. It hadn’t taken him long to establish dominance and use my weaknesses against me. “I feel like you now own my house, but you’re holding hostages, so I feel like I must cooperate.”
“You will load the dishwasher every morning and evening. When filled, you will add the appropriate cleaner and start it. You will not break dishes in the dishwasher. If it can’t go into the dishwasher, you’ll wash it by hand in the evenings. If you aren’t sure if it can go into the dishwasher, ask or wash it by hand.”
“How dare you make reasonable demands.”
“It’s a terrible demand, isn’t it? Cruel, even.”
Luke snickered and sat beside me. “I don’t know what you did to Ray, but I like it.”
“My legs have magical powers. They might need a rating.”
“No comment,” he replied.
“Wuss.” I cleaned off my plate in record time and opened the dishwasher to discover an obscene number of dirty dishes. I found a spot for my plate and utensils before going on a hunt for tabs. To prove I was somewhat capable of acting like a responsible adult, I started the machine.
Raymond rewarded me with a travel mug filled with coffee. “Get dressed. We need to leave to get to the dealership on time.”
Bossy but pretty man. I huffed but obeyed, hoping all the while he’d remain assertive.
I liked when a man could hold his own in his chosen domain.
Luke shoved me into Raymond’s cruiser, locked me in the back seat, and waved. “If you need the address for the local mental institution, let me know.”
Asshole. I scowled. “The next shit shift to cross my desk belongs to you.”
“When doesn’t it belong to me?”
“The rare times you curb your sarcasm.”
“Damn, boss. You’re in fine form this morning. I better warn the others you’re feisty.”
“Luke,” I warned. “Now you’re up to two shit shifts and one call with Eddy.”
“Ouch. Why the call with Eddy? That’s just mean.”
Eddy snorted, shook her head, and wandered off towards Luke’s SUV.
“You put me in the back seat of Raymond’s cruiser. That’s why. And not a single cuff joke out of you.”
Detective Raymond ‘the Hunk’ Davis slid behind the wheel. “I’ll let you out at the dealership. That said, I like it. You can’t escape from back there.”
I eyed the metal grate dividing the front from the back of its cruiser, calculating the probability the department had invested the ten thousand for dampeners in the metal. “You’re lucky you make good coffee and a better breakfast.”
“Please don’t trash my cruiser. I don’t get to go to a nice dealership and pick a new vehicle, unlike you.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry about it. If you do get the police pup, you get a new cruiser to go with him. Or her. I think they mentioned the dog was a she? Are police pups typically boy pups or girl pups?”
“That depends on the cop and the department. The males are larger. Our department neuters, but some don’t. If I get a drug or bomb sniffer, she’ll be a girl like the one Chief Kirkland was talking about.”
“As long as the pup doesn’t eat my ducks, I’m happy. I like dogs.”
“I foresee an interesting juggle of our pets, and I have no problems walking the dog in the front yard—or dogs. We can also train them to leave your ducks alone.”
“I can’t say I’d blame your dog—or dogs—for wanting to eat my ducks. My ducks are very lucky ducks. There are only two ducks on my list of ducks I won’t eat.”
“I had noticed your enthusiastic enjoyment of dinner.” Raymond started the cruiser. “What Luke didn’t tell you is that all five of them indulged in a panic attack this morning because you were sleeping like a rock.”
Shit. “I can say I didn’t dream about anything.”
“They begged me to try to figure out if you were still alive. I tickled you, and you smacked me.”
“I regret not being awake for that. I’m also sorry I hit you.”
“Since that wasn’t bad enough, you took my shirt hostage again.”
My unconscious self had the right idea. “How terrible of me. I noticed I didn’t wake up with you or your shirt in my clutches.”
“I escaped.”
With two little words, he issued the kind of challenge I couldn’t ignore. “How?”
“I whispered I’d make you breakfast in your ear.”
Damn. My unconscious self was Raymond’s bitch. “And I let you go?” I really had issues. I also enjoyed breakfast.
He pulled the vehicle out of the driveway and waited until Eddy and Luke followed in their SUVs. With a single click of a remote, he closed the gate. “You did. Luke accused me of attempted seduction.”
Luke would face a fate worse than death, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he assumed Raymond attempted to seduce me or because he’d hovered and prevented any seductions from occurring. “I don’t think that’s how seduction works,” I finally said to cover my long pause.
“Had I been attempting a seduction, it would’ve been a failure, yes. If you’d like a seduction, you’ll have to be direct and provide a date, a time, and any specifications.”
“Like a guide on how I’d like to be seduced?”
“Yes.”
I liked the general direction of the conversation, which opened a lot of doors, especially the one leading to my bed. “Should I schedule a seduction and miss it due to work, will you cuff me?”
“If you specify that in your request for a seduction, yes.”
“I never knew I could like lists of requirements until this moment. The same applies for you. If you’d like to be seduced, you’ll have to tell me. This is really part of why I’ve never successfully dated anyone. If I’m working, just assume you’ll have to cuff me and drag me off. I’m a workaholic.”
“I’ll ask if your work is more important than an immediate seduction, so don’t worry about that.”
“At what stage in our relationship is requesting a seduction acceptable?”
“Whenever you want, Bubbles. It’s a free country. Despite appearances, I’m not a prude, and I’m not one to tell a woman when she can make a move.”
Some problems were easier to solve than others. “I have a huge tub in my bedroom. Tonight, bring your cuffs, and I have no idea what else to request because, apparently, I dated boring men who inspired zero creativity in my love life.”
“Consider your seduction scheduled.”
“Luke seems to have correctly accused you of seduction, but we won’t tell him that. I’m also sending them home for the night.”
“I’m sure I can make a gag and secure them in the other end of the house if required.”
“Does it make me a terrible boss that I want to see you, a pure, take out an entire quad on your own?”
“No. It makes you an inquisitive boss with an interest in learning how better to protect your staff. If you’d like me to take hostages in a demonstration, ask. I’m confident I can take out at least one or two before they could stop me.”
My brows rose at that. “I would pay good money to see that. Which two?”
“Ethan’s the easy mark. After Ethan, I’d probably go for either Luke or Jamie; they both have potentially troublesome abilities.”
“Isaac can be a handful, and he can be very aggressive,” I warned.
“At your recommendation, I consented to let Isaac try to bite me and use his abilities. My knee-jerk reaction was to punch him in the mouth.”
I covered my mouth with my hands. “Did you land a good hit?”
“Knocked him right out,” Raymond admitted. “I even felt guilty over it, since he was supposed to be showing me how his abilities worked. He bit me, and I just acted. Didn’t even think about it until I had him out cold on the floor.”
“I should be offended you took out my drainer, but I’m also very impressed.”
“He forgave me. When he woke up, he complained I had an overactive fight instinct and that it wasn’t fair that he’d gotten sucker punched by a pure.”
I laughed. “Thank you for that glorious bit of ammunition that I’ll use against Luke and his quad. I’ll enjoy scolding them while they’re bound and gagged. It’ll be a training exercise as soon as we run out of leads on Euthal.” Slumping my shoulders, I sighed. “A seduction sounds so much nicer than work right now.”
“Mhmm.”
“I hate warlocks. Can work be cancelled today?”
“I’m afraid not, but if it’s any consolation, I have a rather open schedule that could be earmarked for seductions in the evenings.”
“I’m going to need instruction on how to leave work at a reasonable hour.”
He laughed. “Learn to work from home in the evenings. That’ll make it much easier to help manage your diet, too.”
I blinked. “I can do that?”
“You did last night.”
Huh. I had. My eyes widened. “Wait. I can really work from home?”
“Seriously, Bubbles? Did it really never occur to you that you could work from home? Even I can take half of my work home with me thanks to digital records.”
“Add some form of punishment for stupidity to the list, please.”
Raymond laughed. “No need. It happens. Honestly, I suspect your quads believe you’ll starve to death if you start working from home alone.”
“It’s so sad that’s probably accurate.”
“I’ll cut a deal with you. You keep doing the badass supernatural quad manager thing, I’ll handle the police work, the seductions, meals, and ensuring you remember you’re human. For the record, my job is so much better than your job.”
It really was. “We’re pretty poor excuses for adults, aren’t we?”
“That’s all right. The real adults have boring lives anyway.”
They did? “My parents aren’t real adults, are they?”
“Definitely not. They got you a house and two pet ducks. That’s definitely a sign of not being a real adult.”
“And one is a crippled duck.”
“But she’s a cute duck.”
“She really is.” I sighed. “Is there a school for adulthood? I feel like I need classes now.”
“There’s the police academy. That’s almost like a school for real adults.”
“Cute, Detective Hunk. I’d like to remind you that there are fraternization rules among cops. There are fraternization rules among FBI agents, too.”
“That’s true. Your application to attend a school for real adults has been denied, rejected due to scheduled seductions.”
“Can I ask a potentially sensitive question?”
“Go for it.”
“Did your crazy ex schedule seductions?”
Raymond snorted. “She declined my offer and got angry with me for not trying hard enough.”
What a foolish woman. “Did you cook for her?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Is she stupid?”
“I wouldn’t say so. She just expected me to read her mind and romance her in an approved fashion, but she never wanted to tell me what the approved fashion was. She’s complicated.”
“How is asking to be seduced not romance?!”
“I’m not sure.”
I thought about it while he drove, and Luke and Eddy tailed us to the dealership. “I don’t get it.”
“I think she wanted dinners out and roses. All she had to do was ask.”
“And how would you like to be romanced, Detective Hunk?”
“I’m a simple man with simple needs. Do what makes you happy. Most of all, remember I exist.”
How could I forget? “The game is on. Consider your wish my command.”
There was one thing I did well. I never forgot my people.
“Seriously? A Mercedes dealership?” I pointed at the lot, well aware Raymond concentrated on driving. “You’re making me come here?”
“I’m not technically making you do anything. I’m just driving this vehicle to the address your boss gave me. He thought you’d like the vehicles, and any one you pick from here will be better than Sergio’s SUV. Luke was the one who forced you into my vehicle.”
My boss played dirty, and I liked how Raymond shifted the blame to Luke. “Add a reward for yourself to our schedule. That was well played.”
“I can understand why your quads get damned touchy about you. You’re probably like this all the time, except instead of scheduling seductions, you improve their work environment. I’ve been doing some research, and I was wondering why your units have such a higher performance record than others in the area.”
“I treat them like they’re humans and assets worth having rather than just draft recruits who have to serve a few years before they’re free from duty. That helps. I try to cultivate their jobs as potential careers, too. My career quads get more perks, and everyone knows it—but I let the draftees enjoy some of those perks when they earn it, too. Right now? I could have called more quads in from the field to help deal with this case, but I won’t unless I direly need to.”
“That’s one hell of a perk. Nobody wants to deal with a warlock.”
“Especially me.” I sighed at the selection of luxury vehicles on the lot. “What type of vehicle should I get?”
“An SUV and a motorcycle. The motorcycle is fun, will let you slide through traffic as needed, and the sport model will keep up with just about everything. I’ve been told water elementalists are particularly durable, so the odds of you surviving a crash are good.”
“A motorcycle?”
Raymond sighed. “I have it on good authority if you don’t pick a sporty car out for yourself, a conspirator is purchasing a motorcycle for you. I regret having given my cell number to certain individuals.”
My parents were assholes. “That sounds like a stunt my father would pull.”
“He’s rather convinced you wouldn’t know what fun is if it slapped you in the face.”
“Well, shit. What are my choices in color?”
“You don’t get a choice in color. They only come in one color.”
I scowled. “What’s the point if I can’t customize it?”
“I did question that. He thought the Mercedes might be a good ride for you. Cops in the area prefer Harleys, but he thought he’d get you something a little different. If you want fast, I’ll just tell him to get you the BMW.”
“I want fast.”
“BMW it is. It comes in blue.”
“We aren’t at a BMW dealership, I’ve noticed.”
“You can get a nice SUV here. Then we can get the BMW, or I can text the conspirator and tell him the model, make, and color and have him deliver it to your house feeling like he’s done something nice.”
My father had even more issues than I did. “He’s feeling guilty Donners got the jump on me, isn’t he?”
“Have you been reading my text conversations?”
“No. I just know my idiot father. Act like I got really excited about the idea of a motorcycle to make him happy. I’ll even use it for work sometimes to make him happy.”
“I have to admit, you have a very strange family, Bubbles.”
“It’s part of the whole coming back from the dead thing. You should’ve seen them right after I’d gotten back from New York.” Those days had been rough, and I’d spent too long trying to rediscover who I was. “Even after all these years, I don’t know if they really know what to make of me sometimes.”
“This sounds like a conversation for later tonight. I make a mean margarita, and I suspect once you get started, you’ll want one.”
“You’re a very wise man, Detective Hunk. Even though I’m not a fan of alcohol, I shall make an exception this once.”
He chuckled, parked his cruiser near the front doors of the dealership, and released me from the back seat. “I try. Fair warning. Your father has recruited Luke and his quad to evaluate your mood today, so act excited to be car shopping. Your mother is probably going to show up at dinner with more duck, of the eating variety, because they’re having dual meltdowns.”
“They’ve adopted you, haven’t they?” Poor Raymond. Eddy, Luke, and most of my quad members got similar treatment whenever I brought them home to my parents for the first time. “It’s okay to tell them no if they overstep your boundaries.”
“They’ve been fine, and I want to get my hands on that duck recipe.”
“To be fair, I want you to get your hands on that duck recipe, too. Go for the egg rolls at the same time. And the roll sauce. She makes that from scratch, and it’s so much better than what you can get in the store.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Eddy parked nearby, bounced out of her SUV, and skipped over. “This is great. I’m being paid to shop!”
“And you’re also being paid to help me hunt a warlock. The shopping is the reprieve from dealing with the warlock, so don’t get too excited there, Eddy.” I grinned at her. “After this, we get to go to the library and pore over books all day.”
“Your heaven is my hell. I’ve got journals, laptops, and tablets in the back for us. There’s also a new phone for you.”
“A new phone?”
“When my brother gives me a phone and says it’s for you, I shut up and give you the phone.” Eddy dove to her SUV, rummaged in the back, and returned with a slender phone wrapped in a baby blue case. “Don’t lose it, keep it charged, and I’m to notify you that I, Luke, Luke’s quad, and the smug, hotter than hell detective staring at your ass have tracking access.”
I glanced at Raymond, and sure enough, his attention was fixed on my legs. “I’m wearing jeans and he has an issue with legs, Eddy. Leave the poor man alone.”
“Not going to bubble him? You should bubble him.”
I crossed my arms and arched a brow. “No, I’m not going to bubble him for admiring the local scenery. I’d have to bubble myself multiple times a day if I started disciplining people for that.”
“You’re sucking the joy out of life today, Olivia,” the dragoness complained, offering me the phone.
I dumped it in my purse to join my other phone. “If he killed my other line, I’m killing him, so if he’s killing my other line, you best be calling your brother and telling him. I will delay my trip to the library if needed.”
“I’ll make sure he knows your other phone line is sacred.”
I nodded and eyed the various SUVs on the lot. “Raymond?”
“Yes?”
“Pick a nicer SUV than what Sergio has for me. I’ll take it in silver, add the bells and whistles, and let’s get out of here. I bet you can cut through the dealership bullshit without me having to bubble an annoying sales person. In exchange, I’ll nag my father about your dog. And I’ll start stalking Chief Kirkland on your behalf.”
“Deal.” The cop strode into the dealership, leaving me with Eddy.
Luke and his quad joined us, and Luke scowled. “What did you just do?”
“I told Raymond to pick the SUV and get it in silver so we can get out of here sometime today.”
“Olivia,” he complained.
“What?”
“That’s not how this is supposed to work. You’re supposed to explore, fall in love with a vehicle, and buy the one you love.”
“It needs to get me from place to place while being nicer than Sergio’s. That’s it.”
“Olivia.”
“What, Luke? I’m mostly going to use it for work. When I want to get a fun car, I will. This is a ‘get me to work’ car. It’ll also be useful for work, unlike a sportier model. Give me a break.”
Luke sighed.
Isaac chuckled and shrugged. “Well, we tried. It’s our fault for assuming we could get her to change her colors just because we made her go to a car dealership.”
“Nobody made me come. I just don’t want to have to ask someone to pick me up for work every day.”
Eddy smirked. “That fine, fine detective could drive you in.”
“That fine, fine detective has his own job to worry about, and he’s already dealing with feeding me. He doesn’t need extra added to his plate. Would it make you happy if I wandered around the lot and looked at the offerings?”
“Yes,” everyone chorused.
“Fine. Go inside and help Raymond make sure the SUV has all the bells and whistles. I’ll wander around the lot. I don’t want to deal with pushy salesmen today, okay? And no, I don’t need to be supervised while roaming a car dealership lot. Away with you fiends.”
The fiends laughed and beelined for Raymond, and I hoped the detective would forgive me for subjecting him to a hyperactive quad plus Eddy. I browsed the vehicles on the lot, at a loss why people spent so much time picking a car. Some of them looked pretty, but beyond that, the appeal made little sense to me.
A flash of gold caught my eye, and hovering nearby, an inch-long yellow and white koi floated in the air, watching me with dark eyes.
Hypnos.
I engaged the shimmering fish in a staring contest. Its fins waved as though caught in a gentle current, and light streamed through its translucent body. A single, dark tendril extended from the koi’s mouth.
I encased its magic in ice along with its tiny tail. “I don’t think so, buddy. I got you once. I can get you again.”
San Francisco was my turf, and I wasn’t going to let some fish with godly aspirations stomp all over my turf.
Within my thin cocoon of ice, the blackness vanished.
I thawed my ice, but kept the bubble of water floating in the air beside it.
Hypnos darted into the water and made itself at home.
Well, then. I closed the distance between us, dodging around the nearest vehicle, a luxury family car too expensive for my taste. I checked the parking lot for any signs of Euthal, tensing in anticipation of the fight I didn’t want anything to do with.
When I ran into the bastard, a fight would happen, and I’d rather be the one to make the first move.
The koi swam in circles in the sphere, and golden flecks of light shed from its body.
With no one to target, I glared at the fish caught in my bubble. “And what are you doing here?” I asked the fish.
The fish ignored me.
I shrugged, held out my hands, and held the globe, creating an outer layer of ice, careful to keep a film of air between the interior sphere of water and my temporary enclosure. I carried it into the dealership, where Eddy, Luke, his quad, and Raymond negotiated with several salesmen.
“Hey, Luke. Look what I found.”
Luke turned to me, his gaze dipping to the water I held in my hands. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“It was just swimming along, minding its own business. As it seemed happy enough to go into the bowl, here we are. I need my scanner, Luke. Do go get my scanner. Also, remind me to get a bigger purse so my scanner is always in it.”
Isaac beat Luke out the door, and Luke shrugged and came to my side. “That’s really it?” He leaned closer for a better look.
Hypnos ignored my quad leader, a wise decision all things considered. I liked fish, but I didn’t like fish who touched my people. As it was, the fish and I were going to have some serious words about its behavior once I figured out how to communicate with it.
“But why is it here?”
“Why would I know? I didn’t see anyone in the parking lot. That doesn’t mean Euthal wasn’t there, but I didn’t see anyone.”
Isaac returned with my scanner, and he booted it up. Within moments of the screen flashing to life, it beeped to warn me it detected a signature. He tapped the screen, and a few moments later, it beeped again.
Yep. Hypnos had come right to me, and it had gone into one of my bubbles without a fuss. “Euthal’s signature?”
“Faintly present, residual.”
“Hypnos?”
“Faint but active.”
We all stared at the fish. I laughed, a weak, strained sound. “It probably doesn’t want anything to do with a warlock, either. Think it ran away?”
“It looks pretty docile. Are you really sure that’s Hypnos?” Luke asked, peering at the fish in the ice bowl. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that was just a regular pond fish.”
“I’m not keeping it in my pond.”
“That’s probably wise. But where are we going to keep it?”
I had no idea. I shrugged. “How goes the car acquisitions?”
Raymond chuckled. “Good. You have paperwork to fill out.”
Bleh. Paperwork. “Okay. Let’s get the paperwork done and get out of here. Luke, you keep that scanner out and tuned to Euthal. If he comes anywhere near us, I want to know about it.”
“You got it, boss.”