According to the machines, I had a collection of fifty-three hairline fractures, three major breaks, and a broken skull. To add to my medical woes, I had an assortment of internal injuries, although most of them had healed somewhat. All in all, my magic was doing a rather good job of holding me together. Once the first of the results were in, the ER team slapped several dampening cuffs around my wrists to prevent my magic from going haywire, knocked me out, and pieced me back together.
Once my head stopped hurting, I’d have to ask how they managed to fix my skull without shaving my head. Thanks to the painkillers, I fixated on my hair, which had gone from messy to a certified disaster area. My primary surgeon, Dr. Jamal Sodrin, made notes on the clipboard while I attacked the ends with a comb, refusing to use the damned sling he thought would help keep my fused but sore shoulder stable.
“If you could please stop trying to damage your shoulder, Special Agent Abrams, I would appreciate it.”
“Someone has to fix my hair, and the nurses are too busy to fix my hair, and I’m not seeing my minions while my head looks like a crow took knitting lessons before handing the mess over to a cat.”
“Now that you mention it, that’s a rather apt description of your hair’s current state.”
“Which is embarrassing at the absolute minimum.”
“No one is going to think poorly of you for having less than pristine hair following a major operation.”
I sighed. “While that’s probably true, this is driving me insane. I very much appreciate having a restored skull, but this should be registered as an effective tool of cruel and unusual punishment.”
“The other procedure to repair a broken skull and ensure it heals involves shaving your head.”
“Whoever says magic is a bad thing is wrong. It took me years to grow my hair out.”
“I’d guess at least ten to fifteen years judging from its current length, your age, and your metabolic levels.”
“Thereabouts.” I tossed the comb onto the side table. “Fine. Recruit one of the people hovering outside to fix this, and I’ll even use the stupid sling. I don’t think the sling is necessary.”
“It’s not, but it will prevent you from overextending your shoulder for the next few days while the healed bone hardens to full strength. Generally, only one in fifty patients undergoing this procedure break the bone again without the sling. No patients who use the sling suffer another break during the healing process. Who would you like me to invite in first?”
“No crying, no flailing, screaming, hovering, or anything else that makes me feel like I’m old, dying, or otherwise trapped in the hospital for an unknown period of time.”
“Would it make you feel better if I give you an estimate for escape?”
I lifted my right arm and jangled the dampeners around my wrist. “Yes. I hate these things. I hate them. I can’t even feel the damned glass of water on the stand. I keep seeing it, but I can’t sense it, and it’s really screwing with me.”
“You’d be overwhelmed by the volume of fluids in the hospital, Special Agent Abrams. Not only that, you might accidentally manipulate something someone needs for their survival. We’ll run you through some more tests in the morning. If you’re still doing well and there’s no evidence your internal injuries are worsening, we’ll release you and have a surgeon local to your home make daily visits to monitor your progress. I expect it will take you another week to recover. You’ll need to return to a hospital for another set of tests to confirm you’re healing well. Yes, you will be required to wear the dampeners before stepping onto hospital grounds.”
“Honestly, I’m impressed the hospital let me into one of their ambulances,” I admitted. “And that nobody put any dampeners on me until after I was evaluated in the ER.”
“We were aware of the circumstances. We only put the dampeners on you when we were confident we could handle your injuries without your magic helping. While water elementalists can be destructive in a hospital environment, we do try to avoid killing our patients from being too hasty with the dampeners.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m going to go out of my mind by tomorrow morning.”
“I promise that you will survive until you’re released.”
“I’ll try not to whine too much about it, but I don’t like it.”
“That’s understandable. You’ve been quite patient.”
“With the exception of my hair.”
“When my wife had appendicitis, she had the same exact complaint. She made me braid her hair every day.”
I laughed. “I might not be happy over my hair, but I’m not going to ask you to braid my hair. Send in the person least likely to cry, wail, have a meltdown, or otherwise add to this generalized disaster. Once my hair is tolerable, I’ll be better equipped to handle more people.”
“If you feel like you don’t look like a disaster, you can pretend everything is fine?”
“Basically.” I plucked at the hospital gown. “I’m definitely not dignified while wearing this thing.”
“I’ll find a volunteer to help. Hopefully, I won’t be long.” Dr. Sodrin sighed. “It might be difficult finding someone who meets your criteria.”
“If I request anyone, there’ll be jealousy and accusations of favoritism,” I admitted.
“And a stampede as they compete to get to you first.”
“Exactly so.”
“Why don’t I prioritize your guests on your behalf, and I’ll start with someone who isn’t your parents to fix your hair.”
“They’re having a spectacular meltdown, aren’t they?”
“They’ve been impatient but behaved, but it’s very obvious they’ll meltdown once they get a hold of you. They’re concerned.”
“Well, they did get to watch footage of me having a bomb dropped on my head.”
“Which you ate.”
I grinned. “They shouldn’t have hit me on the head with it, then.”
“Right you are. I’ll be back soon,” the surgeon promised.
He left the room, and I glared at my water glass, which may as well have been empty for all I could use my magic on it. Hypnos came out from hiding under the bed and flitted around the room. The knock at the door sent the koi back into hiding, and Dr. Sodrin returned with Raymond in tow. I saluted my surgeon, who chuckled, shook his head, and excused himself, closing the door behind him.
“Does fifty-three hairline fractures, three major breaks, a broken skull, and more internal injuries than I care to know count as an acceptable excuse for missing our schedule seduction?”
Raymond arched a brow. “You had a nuke dropped on your head. I think it’s safe to say you were excused.”
“Having a nuke dropped on my head wasn’t on the list of allowed excuses. I told you, I’m really bad at this. Also, I’m sorry you got recruited for this, but I’m glad you’re on the short list of people unlikely to meltdown. Also, Hypnos is under the bed, and I think I accidentally adopted him. I feel like he needs a fish bowl so he doesn’t have to hide under the bed.”
“Is that the drugs talking, or is he really under your bed?”
“Hypnos?”
The koi came out of hiding and swam over, flicking his whiskers at me.
“Well, I’d rather you have the fish than the warlock.”
“I had the same thought. Apparently, I might wreck my shoulder if I keep trying to brush my hair, but it’s not cooperating.”
“So the surgeon said when he pulled me aside and asked if I minded helping make your hair presentable. It seems you’re being stubborn about your hair.”
“I’m wearing a hospital gown, I look like an idiot, I refuse to have anyone see me while I look like a bunch of crows knitted with my hair before handing the mess over to a cat. When my parents come in here, they’re going to cry, then I’ll cry, and damn it, when I cry, I will do so with nice hair.”
“All right. What’s broken so I don’t jostle you while brushing your hair?”
“Don’t worry about it. What isn’t broken hurts, so do your thing, and I’ll sit here and pretend it doesn’t hurt.”
Raymond picked up the brush a nurse had found for me, examined my tangled mess of hair, and shrugged. “Just tell me if it hurts too much. I’ll do what I can to leave as much of it intact as possible, but I’ve seen tidier rat nests.”
“Do your worst, Detective Hunk.”
It took Raymond over an hour to conquer my hair. Once he finished brushing my hair, he contained it in a pair of braids to keep it from turning into a disaster area again before I escaped the hospital.
Knowing how bad my hair could get, especially when I didn’t pay it any attention, I was grateful for the braids. The waves the containment would create would fade within hours, and I’d resume the minimums required to keep my hair presentable as soon as I made my break for freedom.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.
“If it involves kidnapping you from the hospital until you’re cleared to leave, the answer is no.”
Damn. I should’ve thought of that. “That wasn’t my initial plan, but I want it to be the plan now.”
“Answer is still no.”
“My real request was to ask the people clogging the waiting room to keep all of their bloody weeping internalized. I’m too tired to deal with weeping right now. Especially my old man. If he feels a need to be weepy, he can come back in the morning. I don’t want a ride on that train wreck today, Raymond.”
“They’re emotional for a reason.”
“They can be happy emotional, and save their happy crying for after I’m napping. They can indulge when I’m asleep. I ate a nuke so they wouldn’t cry, so no crying.”
“You ate a nuke because you were pissed it hit you on the head.”
“That, too. Come on, give me some credit here. As soon as I was coherent, I went right to a police station. And maybe I did eat the nuke because it pissed me off, but I think I should be able to claim I took severe offense to them dropping a nuke on me in the first place. I thought I’d done a good job.”
“No one said you hadn’t, but if you think you’re going to get any of that lot in here without the weeping, you’re delusional.”
Damn it. “But I don’t want to deal with any weeping today, Raymond.”
He flicked the tip of his finger against my nose. “You’ll be fine. I’ll pass on your request, but don’t get your hopes up. For some reason, they love you.”
I should’ve dubbed him Detective Asshole, Dropper of Truth Bombs. Truth bombs hurt about as much as a nuke, and he wielded his weapon of choice with annoying accuracy. “I’ll deal with it, but you better have me scheduled in for a damned good seduction, buddy.”
“Your health allowing,” he conceded. “You know, nobody is going to judge you for openly loving people.”
“Like hell they won’t.”
He chuckled. “You’re just going to have to deal with it. In good news, this hospital does have visiting hours, so they won’t be here all night long.”
“I’ll forgive this travesty if you smuggle me in a few pizzas.”
“Still hungry?”
My stomach answered for me, and I shrugged. “I could eat.”
“When can you not eat? I’ve never seen you refuse food put in front of you.”
“No matter what I say, I can’t win this one, can I?”
“Nope. But I’ll ambush a nurse and see if they’re all right with me smuggling in some pizza for you. And if they aren’t, I’ll try to smuggle some in for you anyway.”
“Now we’re talking. One seduction and pizza in exchange for dealing with the crying.”
“If that’s what it takes to make you happy, sure.” Shaking his head, Raymond laughed and left the room.
Within five minutes, the invasion began, and because I refused to be the first to cry, I crossed my fingers as my parents entered the room. “Back, weepy people. There will be no crying in this room, damn it!”
My declaration stopped them in their tracks, and my parents blinked, doing a damned good impression of owls. My laughter bubbled out of me, and despite my edict, tears of mirth blurred my vision. Incapable of forming a coherent sentence, I pointed at them and laughed.
Luke eased into the room, took a look at my parents, and joined me laughing. “Your expressions are hilarious, and if you expect her not to laugh while high on painkillers, I’m going to laugh even harder at you. Hey, boss. I’d say you’re looking good, but you hate when I lie to you. Nice hair. Did it really take Ray an hour to tame it?”
“Crows knitted with my hair before handing the mess off to a cat. It was that bad. You try exposing your hair to salt water for a week and see what happens. I’m lucky I still have hair.”
Luke pushed my parents into the room. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a kraken got a hold of me, took a nibble, decided I tasted bad, and spit me out—after having a nuke dropped on my head. I showed that nuke who was the boss, though. I might get out of prison tomorrow, but if I do, apparently, I have to take it easy for a few weeks. I don’t know how to take it easy, Luke. This is going to be a disaster. An even worse disaster than my hair before Raymond fixed it. Someone needs to give him a raise for putting up with that mess.”
My father sighed. “You’re rather uppity for someone who spent ten hours in surgery.”
I took my time thinking about that. “Obviously, they were performing experiments to find out why I’m such a badass. I could’ve told them water elementalists are the true supreme beings on this planet.”
Luke snorted, poked his head out of the room, and encouraged the loiterers outside to come add to the mayhem in the room, which wasn’t large enough for a lot of people to pack in. I stopped counting my minions after ten, deciding if they wanted to pack themselves in like sardines, that was their choice.
“How are you really feeling?” my father asked.
“Pretty good, but I’m really hungry, and I sent the hot cop off to feed me. I’m not sure he’ll succeed on his mission, but I haven’t had enough pizza yet.”
“Seriously, Olivia? Pizza?”
“It’d be a bit much to ask Mom to make more duck. And my babies better be okay.”
“Your ducks are fine. Everyone’s been taking turns spoiling them,” he promised. “I even took them to a vet appointment to make sure they were healthy and see what we could do about Dumbass’s gimp leg and eye.”
“Dumbass is fine just as she is.”
“I’m glad you think so, as there’s nothing that we can do for her eye or her leg. She’ll always have limited mobility, and she won’t be able to fly; there’s an issue with her wing the vet discovered.”
“Well, that’ll make it easy to keep her in my yard, I guess.”
“The vet also clipped Esmerelda’s wings so she won’t fly off. I figured you’d want a professional to handle the clippings. That’ll let them run free in your yard without wandering off, although I’m going to work on installing some form of covered pen for them. It’s a challenge making the pen without trashing the yard.”
“Run rose vines over the pen,” I suggested. “I like roses.”
My father’s expression eased. “I can do that. So, no crying today, is it?”
“I told Raymond you could cry all you want while I’m napping. If you want to cry, you can wait until I’m released from here and my wonderful parents are feeding me as much duck as I can fit in my stomach.”
My mother closed her eyes and rubbed a temple. “We have a defective child. I want to blame you for this, but her love of duck is all me.”
“If you hadn’t wanted me to love eating duck, you wouldn’t have fed it to me.”
“She has a point, babe,” my father muttered.
“As evidenced by the discussion we’re having, I’m not dead, I’m not even close to dead, and I’m planning on camping on my new chair at home for at least a week, as I think I deserve to camp out on my new chair at home for at least a week. I want to know if there have been any leads on Euthal and the general situation in San Francisco. After that, I want to eat myself into a stupor.”
Luke sighed. “There were sixty-seven deaths, the injuries are in the thousands, but there shouldn’t be any additional casualties at this point. Everyone else hit has made full recoveries; as far as we can tell, the sheer number of people prevented any one person from being hit too hard with Hypnos’s power. So, in a way, we were fortunate Euthal struck as he had. If he’d taken only a few hundred again, the death toll would probably be higher.”
“Causes of death?”
“A few car accidents, a handful of heart attacks, and an apartment complex fire. There were a few other fires, but fortunately, the building’s sprinklers contained those until the fire departments were functioning again. For healthy people, recovery only took a few hours.”
I considered Luke, narrowing my eyes. “Where’s Rachel and her quad?”
“Headed back to San Francisco. She was freaked out you two were getting along and needed some normality.”
The more some things changed, the more they stayed the same. “She said we’ve got a bunch of trainees and some imports from Washington?”
“Yeah. I’m saddled with your work until you’re back on your feet. Please get back on your feet soon. Your job sucks.”
“Where’s Eddy? I have to beat her so she can go beat her brother on my behalf.”
“Eddy is busy beating her brother already. They’re duking it out as dragons right now.”
When the dragons were reduced to beating on each other, it meant their human halves had completely lost control, and someone—probably me—would have to go knock sense back into their thick skulls. “Are you seriously telling me there are two out-of-control dragons rampaging somewhere?”
Luke chuckled. “They’re rampaging away from civilization, so it can wait until you’re released from the hospital. They’re being tracked, and they aren’t causing any harm. A crew from Washington is babysitting them.”
“I told that bastard to do work, not go rampage as a dragon! Do you have any idea what their feeding bill is when they do this shit?”
“Washington is covering the cost. They’re taking the blame for them being dragons. From what we can tell, when Hypnos hit Eddy, she snapped, and when she woke up, she influenced her brother, who likewise snapped. Since you were busy with Euthal, and Washington got the nuke authorization, which knocked you out for a week, they’re accepting the blame for the situation. Eddy and the boss are now duking it out for who gets to control a hill somewhere. As long as they keep their trouble contained, nobody cares. I’ve been told to tell you to not worry about the idiot dragons.”
“I have to worry about the idiot dragons. Half the time, I’m the only damned one who can get Eddy to take a chill pill. I am not up for the type of magic needed to tame both of those assholes. Drug a cow with sedatives and let the bastards sleep it off.”
My father tossed his head back and laughed. “You haven’t even left the hospital yet and you’re already being bossy. Come on, Olivia. At least pretend you needed ten hours in surgery. If I can’t cry, at least let me baby you a little.”
“No. I don’t want to be babied. I want to be fed pizza and escape this joint. And I don’t want to have to deal with my damned boss and his sister being stupid.”
Luke sat on the edge of my bed and dared to laugh at me. “You’re just mad you have to stay the night here, aren’t you?”
“Definitely.” I wrinkled my nose. “What’s the news on Euthal?”
“We don’t have any news on Euthal. He ran with his tail between his legs, and nobody has seen a sign of him since you grabbed him and gave him a shaking he’ll never forget. He’ll probably go into hiding until he’s ready to stir up more trouble. The nuke authorization has been revoked. They’ve been sending divers down trying to recover what they can of the bomb. They think it’s a dud. It should’ve detonated before hitting you in the head.”
I contemplated making an early escape, but decided the masses crowding my room would stop me. “You know, did it ever occur to anyone that maybe that’s what Euthal had wanted? To become an actual survivor, and not just some fringe survivor with mediocre powers?”
Luke and his quad exchanged glances, but my suspicions were confirmed by my father’s unwillingness to look me in the eyes.
I waited.
Nobody said a word.
I sighed. “Someone figured that out, and you cowards are waiting for me to get pissed I dealt with having a nuke dropped on my head.”
My father sighed and bowed his head. “You’re too smart for your own good, Olivia.”
“Fault’s on you, old man. You raised me that way.”
“I can live with that.”
Raymond smuggled in three large pizzas loaded with meat for my enjoyment, and my surgeon tolerated it because he didn’t want the crazy, half-starved water elementalist, AKA me, to try to bust out of the dampeners and go on a rampage. I ate all three and promptly passed out, which made the wait for release somewhat pleasant. I was still half asleep during the discharge process, which involved a ridiculous number of forms and waivers proving I knew I was escaping the hospital despite having so many fractures and internal injuries.
The hospital even included a form stating I was a menace and a danger to everyone in the hospital, thus refusing to continue treatments in their institution.
Sometimes, being a water elementalist sucked.
To complicate matters for me, my insurance initially didn’t want to cover the costs of treatment, but some angel of mercy in Washington suggested they should, else they would be losing every contract dealing with the United States government.
According to my brief search on the internet, my insurance company covered seventy-five percent of the government’s employees.
The win ultimately went to me, and the insurance company didn’t even hike my premiums over the incident.
At noon, I made my escape, and while my parents bickered with Luke over who’d get to drive me home, I wandered off to where Raymond waited, spinning a set of keys around a finger. Hypnos, who’d done a good job of flying below the radar, floated near my feet. “If we leave now, they might not notice I’ve left until it’s too late for them to stop us.”
Raymond pointed at his cruiser, which was parked in the visitor’s lot near the gate. “I’ll even let you sit in the front this time.”
I limped to the vehicle since walking like a dignified person would take another week or so. “I was told I didn’t need crutches, but honestly, I think they’re wrong.”
“Sore?”
“I got tenderized by a kraken.”
“Some fights you just can’t win. I don’t even know if a nuke could kill that thing.”
“Is it bad that I don’t know if I want to go back into the ocean anytime soon?”
“I can think of a better place for you.”
“Does it involve you, me, and my bathtub?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
“I like the way you think.” I checked to make certain my parents were still arguing with my minions. They were. Slipping into the cruiser, I slouched in the seat until I stood half a chance of going unnoticed by casual observers. Hypnos hovered near my feet, and with a faint flash of golden light, he vanished. I could live with the fish disappearing for a while as long as he didn’t turn up and cause me trouble later. “Okay. I’m ready.”
“Seatbelt, Olivia.”
“Can I put it on after we’re out of here?”
“No.” Raymond reached over me, grabbed the buckle, and snapped it into place. “There. Any requests for lunch?”
“Plentiful.”
“Italian it is.”
“I like Italian.”
Raymond started the engine and eased his cruiser out of the spot, and the employee at the gate waved him through. “Sometimes, there are perks to driving the work vehicle to hospitals. They waive the parking fees. Are you up for picking up a new phone today?”
“I’m going to need one, so that’s a good idea.”
“I have off work today and tomorrow. I told the station captain I’d be keeping an eye on you, and the chief thought it was a good idea, as you’re more likely to cooperate with me. They’re utterly baffled as to why.”
“Obviously, they are not very good at judging when a woman is interested in a man. A woman interested in a man is far more likely to cooperate with him, especially if there are seductions on the agenda.”
“If they thought you could be swayed so easily, they might have thought of that, but you have quite the reputation.”
“As what? A stick in the mud? I mean, that’s fair. I don’t do the dating thing well, and I wasn’t kidding about missing dates, especially of the blind variety.”
“To be fair, I’d skip blind dates, too, especially now that I know what they are. If I wanted to have some stranger introduced to me for dating purposes, I’d just go visit my grandmother and tell her I was tired of being single.”
“Huh. My grandparents died when I was little.”
“My grandmother lives to spite my father, I think. She’s my mother’s mother, and she absolutely hates my father. It’s entertaining when we get together.”
“What do you mean by entertaining?”
“I pop some popcorn, get comfortable outside of the blast radius, and watch. They’ve spent my entire life sharpening their barbs.”
I chuckled. “I’d like to see that.”
“The instant my relatives find out I’ve moved into a house with someone of the opposite gender, they’ll descend like vultures.”
“The house has a security system, and I’m not above hiding until they go away.”
Raymond chuckled. “They may not be packing much of a punch in the magic department, but don’t underestimate my family. They’re persistent.”
In his way, so was he. “I’ll keep that in mind.”