Why did it take me so long to see it?
To see him?
I’m light as a cloud … Drunk on Nico—my own personal strain of moonroot. But unlike moonroot, this sensation leaves me with all my senses. I’m clearer, more focused than ever. Sure, I can’t get the images of his lips, his warmth, his skin against mine out of my mind.
My stomach spins, and I blush reliving the not-so-distant memories. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was walk out of his bedroom just now and not look back.
There will be time for that, Veda.
Time enough.
For now? We have a plan.
Nico and I … together … We can do this.
When I return to the Lower, Imi, Xavier, and Dorian are waiting for me in my cave.
“Well,” I say, avoiding Dorian’s eyes, trying not to think about our conversation yesterday. That he knows I spent the night with Nico. “Did something happen?”
Imi stands. “We”—she motions to the three of them—“just wanted to be sure you got back. If not, we”—this time she’s sure to show she’s included Dorian in this—“were ready to go up and find you.”
“Thank you. All of you.” I’m sure to catch Dorian’s eyes. The look he gives me hurts. Not near as much as I’ve hurt him—I know this. “I’m fine. I got in and back out without issue. Raevald was actually gone, so that wasn’t a concern. And—” I turn toward Xavier. “Am I the only one who doesn’t know about Salazar?”
His eyes go a bit wider. “No, now Imi knows too.” So Dorian did know. And the Sindaco, I assume.
“What?” Imi says, looking back and forth between us. “Salazar? As in the High Regent’s assistant?”
Xavier nods. He’s unable to escape the smile slowly stretching across his face. “We’ve been working together for a while now. He’s trustworthy. Reliable. It was he who warned me about the attack.”
“Wow.” Imi’s still in shock, shaking her head from side to side. “My Sun, this whole thing runs deep.”
Indeed.
I swear, Dorian, Xavier, and I all exhale a long, collective breath.
It’s then Imi yawns. “I really want to hear more about your meeting, Veda, but I have to sleep. Someone kept us up waiting.” She stands. “By someone, I mean Dorian.”
“Yeah, yeah … we get it.” Dorian looks up at her as she stands. “Get some sleep. You too, Xavier. We’ll catch up in the morning.”
They both leave, and it’s just Dorian and me left in my cave.
It’s as if no time has passed since we were last here, he and I.
Of course, not many hours have gone by, but so much has changed.
He looks tired. Stressed and strained by how his eyelids are heavy, his hair is disheveled but not in the usual intentionally Dorian way.
I set my atlatl on the floor, remove my blades, and take off my boots and jacket. I have a feeling we’re going to be having a long conversation so I might as well settle in.
“Where’d you find that?” he asks, motioning toward the atlatl.
I almost don’t want to say it. But I do. “Nico got it back for me.”
He laughs but not in a nice, genuine way. “Of course he did.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that. He can do no wrong,” he singsongs.
This is uncomfortable. This is not what I need right now. I need warrior Dorian. Let’s-get-out-there-and-fight-for-what’s-right Dorian. Not jealous, vindictive, sarcastic Dorian.
That Dorian is destructive.
“So you don’t want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“The conversation we had yesterday … How you’re acting very weird right now … How—”
“How you spent the entire night with Nico?”
“Okay … Well, I had some things to tell you about that too.” I need to get him on board about the medallions and the Sindaco, but Destructive Dorian is not the version I need right now.
“Like I said, I’m over it. I don’t need to hear about your and Nico’s night of passion.”
I stand up, throw my boots on without lacing them. “My Moon.” I make my way to the door.
“What?” he snaps.
I force a deep breath. I will not snap back. He’s just hurting, I remind myself. “I’m sorry, Dorian. I said I was sorry—I don’t know what else to say or do. Keep punishing me if you want, for as long as you need. But eventually, we have to work together. I do have news from my meeting with Nico, and I’d like to share that information with you.”
He stays quiet.
“All right.” I shrug. “Well, I have a war to snuff out, and I don’t plan to do it on my own.” And I leave.
THE SINDACO WASN’T my first choice.
My plan was to confide in Dorian, then, together, we’d talk with the Sindaco.
But that’s not how things are going to happen. I don’t mind talking with the Sindaco on my own, but I do worry, without Dorian here to back me up, even with the hold I have over him about exposing his lies, he’ll still not relinquish that weapon.
If that’s the case? If I hit a wall?
I’m not sure what I’ll have to do. I suppose it’ll then be down to Nico and me. From different sides of the earth, we’ll figure it out. Together.
Trying to be hopeful, I begin my search for the Sindaco in the map room.
The main cavern.
Then, as I suspect, and as a more skeptical Veda takes hold, I head for the Sindaco’s secret weapon. Far beneath the volcano in a room behind a red metal door.
Deep down I knew that’s where he was.
But it doesn’t feel right to go without Dorian.
Things aren’t okay the way we left them.
I turn around. Walk all the way back to his cave, but rounding the corner just before the tunnel that leads to the soldiers’ caves, we nearly smack right into each other.
“Shit!” he shouts, jumping back and holding his lantern up. “V?”
My heart’s beating like a drum and, for some reason, all I can muster is, “Hey.” It’s then I realize I’m gripping my blade and it’s partially pulled out of its case. Out of total instinct.
“Hey…” Dorian sort of waves lazily.
I pray to the Moon it’s not always this awkward from now on between us.
But then he sees my hand clutched round my knife.
His eyes go wide. “Wait—you pulled that out after you saw it was me?”
“I did not.” He motions at my weapon. I shove the blade back in, take my hand off the handle. “It all happened so fast.”
“I suppose I did train you.”
“See?”
We share a small sort of laugh, and it’s almost resembling something close to normal.
“Where are you headed in such a hurry?” he asks.
“Actually, to find you. I went searching for the Sindaco but can’t find him anywhere. I was about halfway to his top-secret weapon when … Well…” I find his eyes. “Things are so strange between us, and I hate it. I’m not sure I’ve handled everything the way I should have. Honestly, Dorian, I’m not sure what I’m doing most of the time.”
He only stares back, but his eyes are kind. Apologetic.
“Well … I was actually coming to find you.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I feel exactly the same way. V, I don’t want it to be so weird between us and I’m sorry too. I’m upset, yes, but I didn’t mean to act like an ass before.” Dorian rakes his fingers through his hair. Gives a small shrug. “This is … Well”—he clears the emotion from his voice—“it’s harder than I thought it would be, and it would seem I’m not handling it all too well.”
I step toward him. “Look, I understand. We don’t have to be best friends. We just have to work well together. Maybe try not to be super awkward around each other. Be supportive. I just want to be on your team. With you, not against you.”
“I’m with you, V. I can’t promise I won’t be weird or a bit of an ass from time to time, but I’ll try.”
“It’s all I can ask of you.”
We share a low, sad sort of laugh.
From there we decide to seek out the Sindaco. Together.
We take the turns and the tunnels that will hopefully lead us to the Sindaco.
Finally, we stand before the red door.
We don’t knock.
And it’s unlocked, which means he must be in here.
But when we enter, we don’t see him.
The weapon is before us. A couple of lamps hang from hooks on the wall. But no sounds. No movements.
No Sindaco.
Dorian walks around the weapon. “This thing…” He says it like an insult or the butt of a joke.
“What do you think he’s planning to do with it?”
“Who knows what he’s thinking lately. Honestly, I can’t imagine this thing doing a whole lot of damage.”
“Yeah … I suppose not…” It really is unassuming. The way the Sindaco explained it, even naming it the “Great Destroyer,” I’d expected something more menacing. But this … I look it over, walk around the other side to meet Dorian. When I do, I nearly stumble into a pile of something next to the weapon’s base. “What the—” There’s not much light over here, but it looks like … “Uh, Dorian?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have a lamp on you?”
His heavy footsteps approach, but when he swings around the corner I yell to stop. “Don’t take another step.”
Dorian freezes. Lowers his lamp over the pile.
“Holy…”
I nod.
“Are those…?”
I nod again. “Land mines.”
“My Moon—those are left over from the first war. Back then, the Night had dug them all up, stashed them away. For safe keeping, apparently.” He eyes me.
“What in the world do you think he’s going to do with them?”
“I think we’d best ask him, eh?”