Cami
He’s horrified. I note the shock in his expression, the pain in his expression, the desperation that clouds his vision.
The sound of our marriage certificate ripping fills the air. It hangs in the silence that follows, an echo with massive repercussions.
“Leif,” I say, my voice eerily calm. Because this is it. This is my gesture. This is me. I’m going to lay it all out for Leif Bang and pray like hell that he chooses me back. “Look at me.”
He does, his hands fisted at his sides.
“Our marriage was born out of impulse and reaction. But I don’t want to start my future with you on a whim in Vegas. You mean too much to me. You mean everything to me, and I want to do it right. I want to commit myself to you properly. I want our family and friends to bear witness to the love I feel for you, Leif. Because it’s big and complicated and messy. Like me. But no one has ever made me feel whole. Or at peace. Or at home, like you have. I ran because I didn’t feel worthy. You’re…you.”
He shakes his head as if he doesn’t believe me. Or can’t believe what I’m saying.
“You’re larger than life,” I explain. “Laid-back and carefree. But committed and driven. You’re a star athlete and an amazing person. A model son, a loyal sibling. You’re a valuable teammate and a worthy opponent. You’re…you. And I didn’t feel like I could ever be enough for a man like you. Not with my past and my hang-ups. Not with my lack of direction and faltering self-esteem. This weekend, I overheard your friends talking about how you don’t fail. How you’d never give in and accept defeat. And I knew this because you told me as much. I started to worry that you were only staying in this marriage because accepting that we made a mistake was a failure. A sacrifice. And hell, I hated that. I don’t want you to ever settle for less. And I felt less, Leif. No”—I hold up a hand as he opens his mouth to interject—“I didn’t feel less because of you; I felt less because I allowed myself to feel that way. And it was time for me to woman up,” I toss out Rhett’s advice.
Leif shuffles another step closer.
“Running into Levi was by chance. But talking to him made me come to terms with some things that I’ve held on to for a long time. He had emailed me twice in the past month.”
“Seriously?” Leif asks.
I nod. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just wanted to put the past to rest. And the other day, I did.”
“Levi didn’t try to…you know?” He gestures his hand in a circle.
“No. Not at all. In fact, he said I deserve a man like you. And that he deserved the hit you delivered.”
Leif snorts. “Great. So now I can’t even hate him.”
I roll my lips together to keep from smiling. “There’s nothing to hate because it doesn’t matter anymore. He doesn’t matter. Your friends’ opinions don’t matter. The woman from the wedding that you dated—”
“It was a coffee and a lunch,” he growls, his eyes blazing.
Oh. Well, that makes me feel better.
But, focusing on the matter at hand… “That doesn’t matter either. The only thing that matters is me and you. And the future we claim together. I want to be with you, Leif. Not because of a fun night in Vegas but because I can’t imagine a future without you in it. I love you so much it terrifies me. And it’s the best type of fear. It’s because I care, and for the first time, I truly have something to lose. You. I never want to lose you, Leif, but I understand if my actions make it impossible for—”
This time, he does cut me off. Because he strides to me so quickly, I can’t react. Then, his hands are holding my waist, and his mouth is on mine, kissing me hard. “I could never not want you, Camille. I will choose you over and over and over again if that’s what you need.”
“I just need you, Leif. Not a piece of paper. Not a ring, even though I love the purple crown. I don’t need anything but you.”
Leif chuckles. “I’ve been going out of my freaking mind.”
“Me too. And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ghost me, babe. I know this is new and we’re figuring things out, but I need you to talk to me. To be honest. To be in this with me.”
I nod, lacing my fingers with his. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, Leif. Not this time.”
“Promise?”
“I swear it.” I make an X over my heart, and he smirks.
Then, he drops to his knees. He looks up at me and those electric eyes pin me in place. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue ribbon. A diamond on the end catches the light and I gasp. “Leif,” I say slowly.
“I know you don’t need the diamond. But I want you to have one anyway,” he says sheepishly. Leif looks up at me and for a second, he looks boyish. Vulnerable and thoughtful and more beautiful than any man I’ve ever known. “You gave me more than stakes, Cami. You gave me everything I dreamed of and with you, I’ve grown into the man I always hoped to become. Camille Coleman, my heart, will you marry me again?”
I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face. “Yes. Always yes.”
Leif slides the ring on my finger but keeps his hold on the ribbon. He tugs gently and I drop to my knees, throwing my arms around his neck to kiss him.
Our kiss is edged in giddy delirium. Like a dream come true. We’re laughing and crying, a tumultuous coming together of emotions. I let myself feel them all, knowing that this is living. This is choice. This is the euphoria I want.
“I’ll never get enough of calling you my wife,” he murmurs, kissing the underside of my jaw. “This season, I can’t wait to see you wear my jersey. My name and number on your back.”
“It’ll be my name too,” I remind him.
He pulls back and lifts an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want to be a Bang?”
I shake my head. “I was naïve about that. I want to be a Bang more than anything in the world.”
Leif’s flingers flex on my hip. “You already are, beautiful.”
I keep my arms dangling over his shoulders as I kiss him again. This time it’s soft and deep and slow. “Leif,” I murmur.
“Yeah?” He buries his face in my neck.
“How long have you been carrying around that ring?” I wonder.
“Over a week. I was going to propose in Honey Harbor,” he admits.
I wince, realizing I ruined his proposal. But, if you ask me, this one was better. It was spontaneous and a little bit desperate. Just like us.
“You should probably call my dad,” I point out.
Leif chuckles. It’s quiet at first but as it picks up momentum, his shoulders shake, and it turns into a full-out belly laugh.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head and resettles me on his lap. “Oh, Knox. I already have. Your family’s been waiting for you to tell them we’re engaged for days now. Well, jury’s still out on Cheryl. I think your dad was nervous she’d spill the beans.”
My mouth drops open. “Seriously?” Now, I understand Rhett’s warning in a different way.
“Seriously.”
“I’m so sorry, Leif.” I laugh with him. “I made a mess of things. We did… I mean, we did everything out of order.” I hold up my hand with the beautiful, elegant diamond shining. I inhale sharply as I admire it. “This ring is stunning.”
“You’re stunning,” Leif says. “And we did everything right, Cami. Right for us and our story. That’s what matters.”
“That’s all that matters,” I confirm, kissing him again.
Then, Leif lays me out and we make love on the kitchen floor in the middle of the day. It’s not hurried or frantic. It’s not sweet or gentle.
It’s pure bliss. Exhilarating and centering and promising.
It’s the start of a new chapter in our love story. A story that’s perfect for us.