Chapter Two

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No joke, friends—April is here and we’re already one-fourth of the way through my crazy dating experiment. I am excited to announce that I found a guy for this month the old-fashioned way: by accidentally hitting him in the head with my shoe. Just kidding. Long story. But really, I met him in person and things are already going great. Come on down to any Sinfully Good location this month to try Royal Cinnamon Swirl. It’s basically churro ice cream. You’re welcome.

I have both May and June candidates lined up for myself, so keep that in mind if you’re sending me an email any time soon. Summer is wide open though, and I hope to hear from you soon!

April 2

ERIC AND I had a perfect day at Disneyland, and an even better night at the hotel. After taking a tour of Fantasyland, I walked him around to the other areas of the park, pointing out little things as we went.

“And that’s the spot where I tripped when I was five years old and got this scar,” I say, pointing out a line on my knee my Dad always called “the only free souvenir we ever got at Disneyland.” We’re in line for the Matterhorn and I remember running up the path before hitting the pavement, hard.

“Poor baby,” he says, kissing my hand he’s currently holding.

“It was no big deal. I cried until a Cast Member brought me a balloon and a Band-Aid.”

“I know, I was just looking for an excuse to kiss you.” He looks down at the ground.

“Oh.” I blush. It would be the perfect moment to lean up and kiss him back, but we’re shoved from behind by an impatient teenager who is annoyed that we’re holding up the line.

We both shrug and keep walking until it’s our turn to ride. We laugh our way down the mountain on the bumpy bobsleds and I can’t help but smile as we exit together, while Eric holds the little gate open for me.

I show him all my favorite places in the park, and he continues to tell me about his work, life back home in London, and anything else we can think of. The conversation never lags and I’m not sure if it’s because we’re both surrounded by so much joy or if there’s an actual spark happening here. But I really don’t care.

Normally, I’m all in favor of spending the entire day at Disneyland, but by midday, we’re both getting exhausted. I’m really dragging and can only imagine how Eric feels, having driven us there.

“Should we find a hotel?” I ask, mid-yawn. I’m very aware of the implications of that question as Eric begins to blush.

“I’d like that,” he says, his yawn now mirroring mine. “I was thinking I could maybe drive us back home tonight, but I’m not sure that would be safe.”

I get on the phone and call to see if there are any rooms available at the on-site hotels. Eric got the tickets, so I tell him I’ll cover the hotel, but he insists and grabs the phone from me. He steps away so I can’t hear.

“How does a room at the Grand Californian sound?” he asks, coming back victorious.

“Heavenly,” I say. It’s just a short walk and I’m pretty sure I could take the greatest nap of all time. We’re still holding hands as we walk back up Main Street toward the park gates and Eric comes to a stop, so I do the same.

I look around to see what made him put on the brakes, but he’s just nodding.

“This is it,” he says.

“This is what?”

“This is where we should have our first kiss.” He pulls me to him.

And we do. Surrounded by people walking in either direction who now have to detour around us, Eric and I kiss. It’s a slow, searching kiss at first, tentative in the best way. We’re still getting to know each other, but it’s hard not to feel romantic in this place, especially for two sleep-deprived people running on nothing but churros. We kiss for a semi-inappropriate amount of time, especially considering the number of children who can see us, but it’s such a lovely moment that neither of us can be bothered to worry about anything but each other.

“Well done, you,” he says, pleased with my performance.

“Back at ya,” I say, leading him the rest of the way out of the park.

We walk the short distance to the entrance of the Grand Californian and check in to our room. The lobby is as beautiful as I remember it, full of comfy-looking chairs and couches and decked out with dark wood everywhere. There’s a piano player softly scoring the moment with “So This is Love” from Cinderella and I am soon humming along.

As we walk up to our hotel room, I am struck by the notion that I’m about to spend the night with a guy I barely know. Getting in the car with him was crazy enough, but suddenly the intimacy of a hotel room feels like a really big deal.

“I really like you,” he says, opening the door for me and holding it. “And I’d be lying if I said I’m not attracted to you, but we can just sleep in here if you like. Or, you know, maybe kiss a bit too, or something, but we don’t have to do anything more than that.”

I smile and nod, reassured by his statement. I look at the bed and see both an opportunity to get even more intimate with this guy, or, more importantly, to catch up on some sleep.

“For now,” I say, taking off my shirt and jeans, “how about we take a nap in our underwear? Best of both worlds?”

He laughs, but also begins to undress.

“I must be exhausted if I can resist you looking like that,” he says, walking toward me as I pull back the covers. “But yeah, I think that’s a great idea.”

We climb in bed together and quickly ease ourselves into a big spoon/little spoon situation. I’m wrapped up in Eric’s arms and feeling delirious when I hear his breathing slow and realize he’s already asleep. Before I can even begin to marvel about how quickly he did that, I’m out as well.

*

I’M NOT SURE how long we sleep, but when I wake up, it’s pitch-black in our room and I’m feeling much better. I unwind myself from Eric’s arms and walk to the window to look out on our view. We’re facing Disneyland and I smile as I look out over the tops of some of my favorite places in the world.

I hear Eric stir behind me and look back to see him smiling up at me.

“That’s a beautiful view,” he says.

“I know, right? I think we’ll be able to see the fireworks when they start.”

“I meant the nearly naked woman standing at the window.” He raises his eyebrows at me.

“Ah.” I’m lucky that it’s dark so he can’t see me blush. I don’t feel especially beautiful at this moment, standing in a mismatched cotton bra and underwear, still also wearing the ankle socks I forgot to kick off before our nap. Before I can get too down on myself, Eric stands up to join me.

His glasses are sitting on the bedside table, so I take the opportunity to look deeply into his eyes. They’re looking right back into mine and it’s an intense moment until he says, “You’re a bit blurry. Mind if I grab my specs?”

I laugh and go up on my tiptoes to kiss him. I realize he must have been leaning over to kiss me before and smile as he stoops a bit once again to kiss me back. It’s dark and we’re now pressed up against each other in nothing but our underwear. I know where this is going.

Eric brings his hands up to my face, then into my hair as our kiss deepens. He seems to have forgotten about his glasses for the moment and I wonder just how blind he is as he leaves my lips and begins to kiss my neck. I nearly giggle as he moves to the other side of my neck, kissing a ticklish spot on my collarbone as he goes. He slides my bra strap down and finds my shoulder as his next conquest.

We both jump as the first of the Disneyland fireworks explodes across the sky.

“Stop me if I’m going too fast,” he says, earnestly, “but how many guys can say they’ve made you see fireworks when you’ve kissed?”

“A couple,” I admit. “But I don’t think anyone can say they’ve made me see fireworks while we’ve fucked.”

“Oh my. Guess I’ll just have to be the first.”

I laugh and throw my head back as Eric turns me a bit so I’m facing the window. He’s behind me now and kissing my back while reaching around to feel my breasts, still sitting in my comfy T-shirt bra. Eric moves up to kiss the back of my neck while unfastening the clasp and slowly slides the straps down and off until I am topless against the glass.

“If anyone has binoculars and impeccable timing, they’ve got one hell of a view right now,” he says. “Or so I assume.”

The whole thing is simultaneously so hot and romantic that I can hardly stand it. I’m still watching the fireworks go off throughout the sky as Eric pulls down my panties and helps me step out of them. I hear him shimmy out of his underwear and soon he’s pressed up behind me, naked and clearly as into this as I am.

“I’d normally take my time,” he says, reaching down with his hands to spread my legs apart. “But as I don’t know how long the fireworks will last…”

He doesn’t finish that sentence and instead enters me from behind. He’s guiding me up and down onto him with his hands on my hips and I gasp as I take him in fully. Maybe it’s because I’m coming out of a relationship with a guy with a tiny dick, or maybe Eric is just well-endowed, but he feels especially large, long, and perfect to me at the moment. So long, in fact, that I bump my knee against the wall during one especially enthusiastic thrust.

We start out slowly and Eric moves his hands to my tits, now blocking them from any Disney peeping Toms who may have been in the area. I lean my head back and Eric reaches down to kiss my cheek as he glides in and out of me. We reach our finale at the same time the fireworks do, then collapse in a heap back onto the bed.

As I look at the bruise on my leg from our firework-sex, I laugh as I realize it’s the second free souvenir I’ve gotten from Disneyland.

*

“HE COULD HAVE been a murderer,” says Meg, once again trying to retroactively talk me out of taking a spontaneous road trip with a complete stranger. “Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

“Tell Fred I’m sorry for putting you both through that,” I say earnestly. “I really didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Not Fred. I mean, he was worried too. I meant Kim. She went after you at the Prom and saw you leave with him. She was terrified that you were making a terrible decision because you were mad at her.”

“I was mad at her. I’m still mad at her. Are they together?”

“Not getting in the middle of this.” Meg holds up both hands as if to indicate I’m on my own.

“Fine. But really, do you forgive me for my dangerous decision-making? And do you want to hear how the trip went?”

She smiles and I know I’ve chosen the right way to distract her. I tell her all about my day and night at Disneyland and even give her a few of the steamy details from my magical sex romp, as I am now referring to it.

“He’s what would happen if a Disney Prince came to life and was really good in bed,” I say, smiling at my analogy. “It’s what you always hope went down for those Princesses once the credits rolled.”

She laughs at this and slaps the table, clearly making some sort of realization in her head. “His name is Eric!” she exclaims.

“Yes.” I’m glad to see she’s been paying attention.

“Prince Eric!” she says, and I immediately catch her drift.

“The Little Mermaid,” we both say together.

Now, maybe not all girls fantasized about Disney Princes, but if you happened to be just the right age when The Little Mermaid came out, there are good odds he was your first crush. At least, he was for us. With that black hair and sexy smile, it was hard not to fall for him, animated or not. Meg, Kim, and I used to fight over who would get to marry him someday. You know, assuming he came to life and we met him or something.

“You could marry Prince Eric,” she says in a reverent whisper.

“I could,” I say, not caring at all how massively premature this is. “I really could.”

We’re both still smiling at this revelation when our waitress brings the two glasses of wine we ordered. I’m about to lift mine to my lips for a first sip when Meg slides hers over in front of me and smiles.

“Not thirsty?” I ask, confused by the gesture.

“Oh, I am,” she says. “But people get super judgy when pregnant women drink, so I thought I’d let you take one for the team.”

I jump up to hug her, jostling the table and spilling both glasses as we scream and cry together.

“You’re pregnant!” I’m dumbfounded as we pull apart so I can sit back down.

“A bona fide honeymoon baby,” she confirms. “I feel like absolute shit, but we’re so excited.”

“Aww—I hate that you feel bad. But this is the best news ever. I’m so, so happy for you.”

I’m even happier for her once I’ve finished both glasses of wine. After I put my hand on her belly for the third time, assuring her I can definitely feel the baby kick, she reminds me that Baby is the size of a pea and puts me in a car to take me home.

I can’t stop smiling the whole way there. A new baby for Meg and Prince Eric for me. What a wonderful world.