Chapter Seven

April 12

ERIC AND I had plans to go out tonight, but I’m still too nervous to be out in public and he’s too sweet to push me out of my comfort zone. Or maybe he’s also not thrilled with the idea of having his picture added to the internet. Either way, we’re staying in and that’s just fine by me.

I’m excited to see him as he walks in the door, but immediately sense a slight hesitation in his touch as he bends down to kiss me on the cheek.

“You okay?” I say, assuming he’s still freaked out by the whole situation.

“I am,” he says. “But I’m just a bit freaked out by the whole situation.”

I’m a damn psychic.

“I totally understand. I have some ideas for how we can avoid having our picture taken when we’re out and about though…”

“Not about that,” he interrupts me. “I’m not worried about the website. I mean, I don’t love it, but I can handle it.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I knew you’d been dating other guys when this all started,” he begins. “But I didn’t know you were in love with one of them.”

“I was falling for Javier, but that’s over. But I’m definitely not in love with any of them.”

“No, but unless I’m way off base, you are in love with Carter. And he’s in love with you too.”

I let the weight of his words sit between us for a moment and try to come up with a response. Do I love Carter? The word “yes” pops into my head before I can even finish thinking the question. I know without a doubt that he loves me too. But the whole point of going through with this thing was to make sure that I love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him, and for him to know without a doubt that I choose him above all others. It’s complicated. It’s messy. And it’s made even more both of those things because of the man standing in front of me.

“Carter and I were casual for years,” I say, opting for truth and transparency. “We weren’t even really together. I thought about trying to make it work a few times, but he never seemed ready, and I just assumed he saw me as a friend with benefits. When I came up with this whole idea in December, it was because I was tired of not being in a serious relationship. I didn’t know it then, but Carter did want to be with me, and he was crushed at the idea of me dating other people at first.”

“That’s what I thought. So, what happened?”

“I almost called it off when he told me that. But the fact that I’d even come up with this idea in the first place made him think I should go through with it and see if I could find anything better than what we had. He didn’t want to be with me knowing I’d always wonder if I made the right choice.”

“So, I’m not really competing with eleven other men.” He sounds matter of fact. “We’re all competing with him.”

I hadn’t thought about it like that, but I know Eric is right. Haven’t I been comparing each of these guys to Carter all along? And don’t I feel less pressure to make one of them work, knowing I have a great guy to fall back on?

“That’s not what I intended,” I say. “But it does seem to be working out that way.”

“And how am I comparing so far?” He looks pained.

I smile and hope both my words and tone can help ease his mind.

“You are wonderful, and I am so, so thankful to have found you. I was so worried that all this publicity was going to drive you away. I didn’t care about anything else when I saw it. Not me, not the stores. Well, I cared about hurting the other people involved, but really, it was the thought of losing you that made me so heartsick.”

He nods and puts his head in his hands for a minute. I can tell this is all really weighing on him and hope with all my might that he feels like I’m worth it in the end. I have no idea why he would, but all I can do is hope.

“We’ve been dating two weeks,” he says, picking his head back up to look at me. “I shouldn’t be putting all this pressure on you. Got any more Disney movies to show me to lighten the mood?”

“Heck yes, I do,” I say with a laugh.

Eric pulls me in for a hug and I can feel the tension leave his body as I melt into his arms. We’ve had a few of these tough conversations over the past couple days and I hope we can both relax enough to let a movie distract us into a lighter mood.

I opt for The Little Mermaid and excitedly point at the screen the first time Prince Eric comes into view.

“I had the biggest crush on him when I was a kid,” I say, giggling. “And now I have my very own, real-life version in you!”

“Well, since we’re confessing cartoon character crushes,” says Eric, laughing, “I guess I should admit that Ariel was always pretty high on the list for me. Something about that seashell bra, I guess.”

“I can see that.” I lean into his arms as we sit side by side on the couch and thank my lucky stars once again for the power of Disney Magic this month and always.