Chapter Seventeen

www.flavorsofthemonth.bloggerific.com

I hope you’re feeling adventurous this month, friends, because our new flavor is called Chaos Defined. I threw together several flavors you wouldn’t think go together and combined them to make something that either makes me crazy or a genius. You make the call.

My little dating experiment is temporarily on hold while I think some things through, but I’ll post updates here when I can. In the meantime, keep posting on social media about anyone you’re seeing from our speed dating events! I can’t wait to hear all about your love connections, since apparently mine are now public knowledge. Ha-ha. Really, I’m fine.

Have a great May!

May 6

IT’S BEEN A really great couple of days with Jess, but I can’t quite calm the nagging feeling I have that I need to come clean with Eric. I’ve pulled out the pro/con list a few times when Jess has been in the shower or otherwise occupied, and it’s pretty clear he’s definitely still a contender, on paper at least. And what Jess and I are doing can definitely not be classified as platonic.

We spent yesterday bouncing from the beach to different restaurants and back, enjoying the local Cinco de Mayo festivities. We were drunk on margaritas, starting at about 11:00 a.m. and coasting all the way through until about midnight. There was a lot of giggling, kissing, and playful touching throughout the day, but we were both exhausted from the sun and tequila last night, so we passed out before my next lesson in pleasing a woman could continue.

But this morning, Jess has a look of determination on her face that has me pretty sure my time has come.

“Where’s your stash?” she says, raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, you mean this?” I pull a joint from behind my ear. I had a feeling she’d want to try it today and I’ve always wanted to do that.

“Light it up!” she giggles.

I do as I’m told, and we pass the joint back and forth between us until it’s gone. I get up to get myself some water, as my mouth and throat feel super dry, then come back to sit on the bed by Jess while we wait for it to kick in.

It doesn’t take long before my brain and body both relax, but I can’t tell if Jess is feeling it as she stares out of the window at the ocean. I move to sit behind her and wrap my arms and legs around her so as not to impede her view, in case she’s right in the middle of some big, deep thoughts. I’d hate to harsh her buzz.

We’re both wearing shorts and T-shirts, but no bras, and I get the sudden urge to reach my hands up under her shirt and damn if that’s not the best idea I’ve ever had. I have boobs and they are awesome, but feeling hers makes me so happy I want to cry all of a sudden. She’s still looking out the window, but my hands are totally distracting her, and she leans back into me as she utters a soft “mmm.”

“I want you to tell me what to do to you,” I say, and I really do. I’m no longer worried that I can’t do this, but I know I need some guidance and damn it, I can do this.

“You’re doing great so far,” she says. Aww, she thinks I’m doing great. This is so nice.

I’m still behind her, but I reach one hand down to her shorts and wiggle it in between her skin and waistband, then down even further until I can feel her wetness. It’s warm and awesome and I’m going to make her so happy. Just like when I texted her the other day. But not really because I don’t think she had an orgasm from a text message.

“Like this,” she says, putting her hand on top of mine and guiding me around to show me what she likes.

“Ohhh,” I say, although I really can’t tell what’s so different about this and what I was doing the other day. But she’s clearly liking this and didn’t love what I did last time, so I keep going. I suddenly feel like I need a better angle, so I jump off the bed to face her. I pull her shirt off over her head and slide her shorts off too. Holy shit, she’s naked and so hot and she wants to do sex with me. This is awesome.

Because she’s naked and sitting on the bed, I get an idea.

“Lie back,” I say, and she does.

Now I get down on my knees and position myself so that I’m face to pussy with Jess and I spread her legs a little wider. I don’t know what I was so worried about. I remember the word instinct and bury my face into her, trying to imitate what she and a few talented men have done to me over the years. I know a lot of activity is usually a good thing, so I am really in there, licking and sucking everything that my mouth comes into contact with. I think I’m doing pretty good, but I lift my head up to see if Jess is into it.

But then I get kinda sad because I’m not sure she is all that into it. She’s lying there and she’s been responding, but something doesn’t seem right. But wait—I have an idea.

“Wait, I have an idea,” I say out loud because Jess cannot read my mind. I don’t think.

I jump up and open the nightstand drawer where I have a few toys I’ve used over the years. I grab two of them and head back to where I was. Is this cheating? She’s not saying it is, but she does laugh when she sees what I’m doing.

“Is this cheating?” I ask because again—not a mind reader.

“Not at all,” she says. “Sometimes we have to get creative.”

I am super creative and I’m excited that Jess likes that about me, so I turn on the vibrator I’ve brought over and press it to her clit. It has multiple settings, so I start on the lowest one, then turn it up a bit as I finger her. Now she’s really responding and her hips start to move around.

“Mm-hmm,” she says, encouragingly. “Just like that.”

I have always been a student who responds to praise, so I keep doing exactly what I’m doing, turning the vibrator up one more time and waiting for Jess to climax. When she does, it’s so exciting I accidentally drop everything and clap. Because yay me.

I climb up onto the bed and kiss her as she comes down from the orgasm—the one I gave her, by the way. She’s smiling a satisfied smile and so am I. Before I can ask for feedback because that’s the kind of student I am, she gets up off the bed and grabs the toys I dropped on the ground. I move myself further up onto the bed and she crawls up after me.

“Your turn,” she says. “And these are great, by the way, but when we’re back in Arizona, I have some more fun ones we can use.”

I smile because yay toys and yay this fine ass woman is now going to do sex things to me. I’m a little embarrassed that I needed help to get her off, but I’m quickly distracted because she’s now taking off my clothes and here we go.

Jess works her way over my body and everything feels electric and amazing, but I’m also super chill. Now I’m almost panicking though, because what if I’m too chill and I can’t come? She’s going to be so disappointed except she just put my vibrator on my clit and holy hell this won’t be a problem at all. I was nice and started it on the lowest setting, but Jess is holding it steady on me and it’s shaking like crazy. I almost feel like I can’t take it anymore when she puts the dildo I got out to use on her in her mouth. Once she gets it nice and wet, she slides it slowly inside me.

Oh, my goodness, my body is on fire and Jess is just fanning the flames. She moves the fake dick in and around, again knowing exactly what will feel good and just when I think life can’t get any better, the orgasm of a lifetime quakes through me as Jess moves all the toys out of the way and brings her face down between my legs to get a front row view of the epicenter, I suppose. She’s kissing and nuzzling me as I slowly stop shaking, then comes up to kiss me.

“Are you crying?” she asks. It’s a weird question because I am so happy but holy moly there are tears on my cheeks and when did that start?

“Uh,” I say, bringing my hands to my face to wipe the not-small number of tears away. “Apparently? But I think they’re just happy tears. Or orgasm tears? Is that a thing?”

“I think that could be a thing,” she says, lying down next to me. We’ve both been taken care of and I’m hoping weed has the same effect on Jess as it does on me because I can feel myself fading. I hear her breathing start to slow and that’s the last thing I’m aware of before dozing off.

*

IF THAT LAST thing I was conscious of pre-nap was Jess’s breathing, the first thing I’m aware of post-nap is that I can’t hear her breathing anymore. I turn to the side where she was sleeping but find that part of the bed empty. I roll back the other way and see Jess, wearing her shirt and shorts again, sitting at the table and looking down.

“Whatcha doing?” I say, stretching and giving a little yawn.

“Reading,” she says, stiffly.

I sit up, immediately aware of the tone shift that has taken place while I slept. I can see now that she’s looking down at a notepad with two distinct columns. I look to the drawer next to the bed. I must have left it open after pulling out the sex toys. She must have seen the notepad there.

Jess is aware of my love triangle predicament, so I’m not sure why she sounds perturbed, but there’s only one way to know, so I ask.

“Is everything okay?” I get up and walk toward her, pulling on my clothes as I go.

“Well, I’m not sure,” she says.

“That’s my pro/con list between Eric and Carter.” This is possibly the dumbest explanation I can give to something so obvious. “You know, like Rory Gilmore?”

“Yeah, I get what it is. But what I’m wondering is when you’ve been writing it. Because this looks like you’ve been working on it since I’ve been here.”

“I have. I only have another week until Eric comes back, and I wanted to be sure I had some things figured out before then.”

“Things, but not me?” She looks up at me. “Why does this list only have two names on it? Am I just a little distraction for you? Just a fling so you can cross women off your list for good?”

Oh shit. I now completely understand how this looks. And whether I did it subconsciously or not, she’s totally right. I haven’t been factoring her into this decision at all.

“No, it’s not like that,” I start, but she’s talking over me before I can explain.

“I thought this was my month with you. I thought you were going to give me a chance. I know you told Eric initially you wouldn’t date anyone for the time being, but I assumed you had talked with him about that when you invited me here. But I guess you didn’t mean to invite me, so that was stupid of me to assume.”

“Technically, he asked me not to date any men,” I say, trying to break in, quickly wishing I hadn’t.

“You knew what he meant! And now you’re being dishonest and inconsiderate to both of us. We just met and you don’t owe me anything, although this is a pretty shitty way to treat another human being. But you said you love him. If this is how you treat people you love, no wonder you’re still single.”

She’s still sitting and her hands haven’t moved, but it feels like I’ve been slapped across the face. But even still, I’m more shocked by the truth in her words than I am angry by how she’s said it.

“I’m so sorry,” I say. “You’re absolutely right. I never meant to hurt you. I’m not sure what to say.”

She gets up and begins throwing her clothes and toiletries into her suitcase, not even looking at me anymore. She’s going to leave, and I can’t even think of one good reason why she should stay.

“Do you want a ride to the airport?” I ask.

“I don’t want anything from you,” she says.

And with that, she grabs her bags, gives me one last look, and leaves.