Dugal and Keir burst into her bedroom before seven bellowing, ‘Happy Merry Christmas to you! Come downstairs ’cos we’re not allowed our presents till everyone’s together!’
Then they screamed out of the room again leaving Lily blinking. Recalling the joy of Christmas morning when you were five or three, she clambered into jeans and a top and hurried downstairs where she could hear childish voices bellowing, ‘C’mon, everybody, c’mon, come on!’
Present-giving was chaotic but lovely. Lily relished the fairy-tale Christmas sight of the acres of snow glittering outside and the sound of church bells drifting up from the town. Dugal and Keir tried simultaneously to rip into their presents and hand out other people’s – which they offered to share if edible. ‘Lego!’ one would yell.
‘Duplo!’ squealed the other.
‘Grand-Tubb, this is for you from Mummy!’
‘Grandma, here’s yours from us!’
Lily, laughing, let them hand out all of her gifts of pashminas, DVDs, vouchers and everything that had been easy to grab. For Dugal and Keir she’d bought matching Minions pyjamas and was gratified when they stripped off to wriggle straight into them. Baby Ainsley lay in a Moses basket on the floor, occasionally flailing his arms and mewling then flopping back into sleep. Like his brothers, he had Max’s sandy hair.
Everyone had managed a present for Lily, even at short notice: heavenly Swiss chocolate, a carved wooden box, perfume and, from Tubb and Janice, a pair of ski pants suitable for the depths of Swiss winter. ‘Janice was pretty sure of your size but we can exchange them if needs be,’ Tubb said gruffly. Then, looking awkward, he gave Lily a lilac envelope. Inside was a Christmas card and printed in gold foil on the front, Merry Christmas to my sister. Lily looked at it through a veil of tears, her chin wobbling.
‘Why are you making a silly face?’ demanded Keir, peering at her.
Dugal sighed at the stupidity of younger brothers. ‘She’s going to sneeze,’ he explained loftily.
Everybody laughed and Lily gave Tubb a hug – the first ever – and let a couple of her tears soak into his dressing gown. He and Garrick had had a long talk with her last night when they’d fetched her from the airport, clearing any lingering ill feeling as they explained their shock at Marvin’s past behaviour.
‘You see,’ Tubb had explained gently, ‘he was a very good dad, the kind who always came to football matches and knew how to fix broken kites. To realise that he’d had a secret affair was painful and we stupidly lashed out at you as the living proof of it.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Garrick saw sense first and made me see what an unreasonable shit I was being in blaming you for keeping the secret for so long, I felt terrible. You must not have known what to do.’
It had been worth a flight to Switzerland just to hear that.
Garrick, Eleanor, Myla and Xander arrived and while the small children went wild again, Eleanor took her own opportunity to clear the air with Lily. ‘I’m sorry that I leapt to conclusions and was so unpleasant.’
‘None of us knew what was going on with the other,’ Lily had been quick to say. ‘Let’s put it behind us.’
If it hadn’t been for thinking about Isaac she would have floated away in a bubble of happiness. But then his voice on the phone was so … disbelieving. Hurt. If everyone hadn’t been shouting for her to come to the table she would have broken down and cried. As it was she had had to end the call or lose it completely.
For the rest of the day she pinned on a smile, helped in the kitchen, played with Dugal and Keir, held baby Ainsley with her heart melting as he stared stolidly up at her. Ona, now he was safely delivered and she was getting over the C-section, pretended to be glad to get rid of him at every opportunity while the love glowing in her eyes when she looked at any of her kids belied her joking words.
Before the daylight faded Lily went out with Max, Dugal and Keir to try out the boys’ new sledges and her ski pants which, being a smoky grey, went well with the blue coat from Zinnia and George. The whole outfit proved admirably suited to flying down a slope with Keir on her lap and being dumped in the snow when they overturned, roaring with laughter.
Later, when the young kids had finally gone to bed in their new pyjamas the adults and the older kids, Myla and Xander, settled with glasses of champagne.
Lily wondered whether to call Isaac back. Or at least text him and apologise about cutting their earlier call short. She listened as Tubb talked about putting The Three Fishes on the market and getting another relief manager until it sold. ‘I would have loved Isaac to stick around to manage it but he doesn’t sound prepared to stay.’
‘No,’ Lily agreed hoarsely.
Janice patted Tubb’s arm. ‘It’s a wrench for you. The pub’s been your life.’
Tubb laced her fingers with his. ‘We all have to retire sometime.’ But he looked a little misty-eyed. They began to reminisce about past Christmases at The Three Fishes and Lily’s mind went back to Isaac, wondering what he was doing now. Spending Christmas evening quietly with Hayley?
She reread his text from this morning – which was a distinctly sad thing to do – smiling to herself at the casual way her referred to your mums. It was good when someone treated her family as if they weren’t weird.
Gently, she put her phone down. She wouldn’t call Isaac.
For self-preservation she couldn’t let in a man who would so soon be getting out.
If anything, Lily preferred Boxing Day – or St Stephen’s Day – to Christmas Day. Garrick and his family had their own plans so, with Ainsley in a papoose on Max’s front, the rest of them walked down into Schützenberg and around the lake, pausing for hot chocolate or lemonade, making a snowman with Dugal and Keir, which the boys then took enormous pleasure in kicking down.
Then they struck off into a wood where the snow was less disturbed and it was still and magical, examining animal tracks in the snow and kicking it into crystal showers or trying to blow ‘smoke’ rings with their white breath in the frigid air. Tubb and Janice walked hand in hand – or mitten in mitten. Lily found herself watching the easy way they chatted and how often each made the other smile. In relationship terms they were still at the honeymoon stage, only having been together a year, but they might as well have been wearing badges that said ‘in love’.
Funny how the cold air stung her eyes to watch them.
Finally, they tramped back up the hill to Max and Ona’s house and Lily helped Janice put together ‘Boxing Day Pie’, which involved slicing up the leftover turkey and sausage meat, pouring gravy and wine over it in a roasting tin and mashing up leftover root vegetables for the topping, then sticking it in the oven to cook. The boys were happier with fish fingers, little jacket potatoes and peas, but the Boxing Day Pie did very nicely for the adults, washed down with beer and followed by plunging into the stash of chocolate.
Lily helped Dugal build a Lego house while Max showed Keir how to put a wooden train track together, which Keir much preferred taking apart. Then they all got ready to march further up the hill to Los’s house for fondue.
‘It’s lovely that the children are invited, isn’t it?’ Lily said to Ona, who was pushing Ainsley in a buggy that seemed to be his car seat fixed to a set of wheels.
‘The Swiss are very family-minded.’ Ona’s ski jacket was a dark gold and set off her pretty freckles as she tipped up her face to admire an especially beautiful balcony hung with swags of greenery and lights like icicles. ‘It’s great not to need babysitters but not so much when we want a night off on our own with a bottle of wine.’
Lily had been feeling slight butterflies, not just because approaching Los’s house brought forcibly to mind the days she’d spent in the annexe with Isaac. It was meeting Los again in view of the job on the horizon – a job that seemed almost too good to be true. Los, though, was a great host. He welcomed Lily with a kiss on each cheek and a firm, ‘You’ll find a few people from British Country Foods amongst the company this evening but we leave business until tomorrow, yes?’
‘Marvellous,’ Lily agreed gladly and was able to settle down to enjoying herself without feeling she was supposed to be networking. Stephen, who she knew from her last visit, was there with his partner, but otherwise she wasn’t always aware whether those she met were potential colleagues or not.
The meat fondue was delicious and she ate more than she’d thought possible after Boxing Day Pie. Dugal and Keir ate so many marshmallows dipped in chocolate that Lily thought they’d burst.
Finally the children were so tired that Ona said to Max, ‘We need to get them home.’
Tubb and Janice were ready to go too, Tubb tiring easily these days, and so Lily thanked Los and Tanja and joined the procession for the short walk back. A thin veil of snow was falling, muffling the sounds around them as it drifted softly from the dark sky between star-like lights strung above. It was like an advert for a magical Christmas holiday in the mountains. Lily fell silent, admiring the even carpets of white on the chalet roofs, thinking ahead to Garrick picking her up to meet with Los tomorrow and whether the trousers and jacket she’d packed would be right for the occasion.
As they turned into the drive in front of Max and Ona’s house, she heard vague exclamations and a surprised laugh, with Max saying, ‘This is an unexpected pleasure. Lily, did you know we were to have an extra guest?’
‘No?’ She tried to see past Ona and Janice, who were both turning to grin at her. Then she caught sight of the tall man on Max’s doorstep, woollen hat pulled down over his ears, standing very still and gazing at her. ‘Isaac!’ she gasped. ‘How did you get here?’
‘Plane from London City to Zürich, train to Biberbrugg and taxi here.’ One corner of his mouth quirked up. ‘I brought your Christmas present.’ He pointed to a gift-wrapped box balanced on top of his rucksack in the porch.
‘More presents!’ Dugal hollered, suddenly fully awake.
Isaac crouched down to pat his head. ‘Sorry, mate. There’s only this one. Santa left it in England for Lily by mistake.’ He shifted his gaze to Lily. ‘Probably she forgot to tell him she was coming here.’
‘Aw, OK,’ sighed Dugal, while Lily’s cheeks burned at the dig.
Lily found she was trembling as Max and Ona stamped the snow from their boots and ushered everyone into their home. Isaac gave Ona a hug and shook Max’s hand. ‘Don’t worry that I’ve come expecting hospitality. I’ve booked a hotel room. Congratulations on becoming parents again.’ He smiled at Ainsley, who was just beginning to whinge about it being his feed time.
Max and Ona took the boys upstairs but Tubb resisted as Janice tugged discreetly at his sleeve. ‘So what’s happening with my pub while you’re out here playing Santa Claus?’ he demanded.
Isaac didn’t even look at him. ‘It’s only a friggin’ pub! There are more important things.’
As Tubb gaped at this heresy, Janice linked his arm and steered him away. ‘He’s right. You and I have already come to the same realisation or we wouldn’t be here. You left him in charge. I expect he’s left Tina at the helm. It is only a pub.’
Tubb dug his toes in again, this time demanding of Lily, ‘Are you OK with him being here?’
Dumbly, Lily nodded.
Finally, Tubb let himself be towed away. Then at last there was just Lily and Isaac in the living area, the Christmas tree lights winking merrily as the door closed. She licked her lips. ‘I haven’t seen you get snappy before.’
‘I’m human, same as anyone. You and Tubb have made it up?’ When she nodded he said, ‘Good.’ He came no closer but his body heat seemed to bridge the gap between them, luring her like the Sirens’ song lured sailors onto rocks.
She resisted its pull. ‘How’s Hayley? Was her bad news very bad? Is it OK for you to have left her so you can come here?’
He frowned. ‘She didn’t have bad news – thankfully it was good. No sign of the cancer spreading and no further treatment. In time she’ll have further surgery to complete the reconstruction but she’s on her way back to normal life.’
Lily was stunned. ‘But I rang your phone and she was sobbing about the histology results!’
His brows shot up. ‘She hadn’t got her results at that point. What was upsetting her was that her appointment to hear her report was postponed until the following day because the consultant was called away. The extra wait got to her. She’s been super-emotional throughout her ordeal, which she can be forgiven for.’
Lily gaped at him. At the darkness of his eyes and the weariness around them. ‘She’s going to be OK?’
Realisation dawned in his eyes. ‘That’s what it was,’ he said slowly. ‘When you rang and she was emotional you assumed she’d had bad news. You gave up on me.’
‘I—’ She took a physical step back at this interpretation of events. ‘I thought she needed you.’ She didn’t say ‘… more than I did’ because it wasn’t true. There was ‘need’ and ‘need’, that was all.
He thrust his fingers through his hair. ‘Holy hell, I wish you and I could have just found time to talk.’ He took a couple of deep breaths and then continued in a gentler tone. ‘I had to be there for her until she had her results but she didn’t get those until Christmas Eve. I saw you leaving the village late that afternoon and the evening shift was crazy. I knew – or thought I knew – I’d be alone with you on Christmas morning so I planned to talk to you then. As it was—’ he threw up a hand in a hopeless gesture ‘—I didn’t get that chance. But as soon as Hayley realised you’d left she coolly made arrangements to stay with my parents because she doesn’t need the level of care she got from me now her last drain is out. She was determined to free me to come after you and Mum backed her up. Said Hayley was doing what she thought right – and her and Dad thought she was right too. They’ve even taken Doggo.’
‘Wow.’ Lily wasn’t quite able to absorb it all and readjust her thinking. She’d been so certain that Hayley had a long, hard road ahead and would need Isaac until she could get her support elsewhere. ‘So you’re leaving to take your instructor courses?’
Ignoring the question, Isaac scooped up the Christmas present wrapped in blue paper sprinkled with gold stars. ‘This is for you.’
Automatically, she took the box-shaped gift, fumbling when it proved unexpectedly heavy.
Hastily, he put one of his hands beneath it, brushing against her and making her jump. ‘It might be better to unwrap it on the table.’
She let him place it on the polished wooden table top, then, wonderingly, she eased the paper apart at the seam. Under the paper was a plain brown box and she had to pull off the tape that secured it shut. Inside was a cloud of white tissue paper.
She pulled it aside to reveal wood and carvings.
She stared. ‘It’s a cuckoo clock,’ she breathed. Packed snugly around the little wooden chalet with a stack of logs outside were the chains, weights and pendulum that had made the parcel so heavy.
‘A Lötscher. I’m probably the only person ever to bring a cuckoo clock into Switzerland. I ordered it online and had it delivered to the pub.’ Most of the frustration had left his voice now and uncertainty had taken its place.
With one trembling fingertip she touched the little door sheltering the cuckoo. ‘It’s the one I loved in the shop in Zürich. It was incredibly expensive though.’ She glanced at him.
He’d jammed his hands into his back pockets and shrugged. ‘It was supposed to be symbolic. I was going to explain on Christmas Day. But you’d buggered off.’ His voice was flat. Tired.
Glancing around, he selected a medium-sized picture hanging on the wall and took it down. Then, carefully, he took the clock from the box and hung it on the hook, set the hands to the correct time, hung the pendulum and smoothly pulled one of the weights to wind the mechanism.
Its TICK-tick, TICK-tick permeated the room.
Lily gazed first at the beautiful clock and then the no less beautiful but decidedly less cheerful man before her, dark brows down over dark eyes. She had to swallow before she could coax words out of her throat. ‘What’s the symbolism?’
For several seconds she didn’t think he was going to reply as he set the clock’s hands to a few minutes to nine. Then, finally he turned towards her. ‘You kept saying we had no time. The clock was meant to say I had all the time in the world for you.’
‘But your courses—’
‘Balls to the courses. If you’d let me talk to you, I would have explained my plans have changed.’ Finally, slowly, he moved towards her, one step, two, until he stood only inches away, close enough for her to hear him breathing.
‘So what are your plans now?’ She spoke calmly but her pulse was thundering in her ears.
His eyes smiled. ‘To discover what your plans are and try and persuade you to let me be part of them.’ He took her hand and carried it to his mouth, brushing her knuckles across his lips.
‘But you’re on your way somewhere else,’ she protested shakily.
His smile reached one corner of his mouth. ‘You’re currently “somewhere else”. Can’t that be the somewhere else I’m on my way to?’ He loosed her hand and slid his arms around her, making her eyes half-close at the feel of his body against hers, a feeling she thought she’d never have again. ‘I can find courses here,’ he went on. ‘Or if you go back to the village, I can base myself there. Doggo’s pining for you,’ he added. Then, more seriously, ‘I’m pining for you too, continuously and painfully. My heart’s spinning in my chest just to be in the same room with you again.’ Behind him the clock murmured TICK-tick, TICK-tick. His Adam’s apple bobbed. ‘Do you have time for me, Lily?’
Joy broke over her in a hot wave. ‘All the time in the world,’ she breathed, giving him his own phrase back.
Beneath her hands she felt his body relax. ‘A couple of weeks ago you told me not to kiss you any more. Will you unsay that, please?’
In answer, she pulled his head down to hers, pressing against his hard body as if trying to get right through his clothes.
His hands dropped to her behind, the line of his body following the curve of hers. ‘I lied about the hotel room,’ he groaned against her mouth. ‘I just didn’t want to get involved with the others feeling they had to find me somewhere to sleep.’
‘That’s OK.’ Lily rubbed against him to make him catch his breath. ‘I have the key to Los’s annexe because I had the choice of staying there but preferred to be here – with my own family.’ The final words came out shyly.
Behind them a tiny wooden bird shot out of the Lötscher clock. ‘Cu-ckoo, cu-ckoo—’
Isaac grinned. ‘That clock is so not going to hang in the bedroom unless we can find a way to shut it up.’
Lily giggled. ‘We can’t leave it here. It might wake the baby or Dugal and Keir could find it in the morning and take it apart.’ So they took it down from the wall and found out how to disable the cuckoo mechanism before packing it back in its box.
Without telling the others, who had all discreetly stayed upstairs, they bundled up in their coats and set off hand in hand along the snowy streets to Los’s annexe, Isaac carrying the clock, letting themselves in and closing all the blinds.
Then Isaac pulled Lily back into his arms and began to steer her in the direction of the bedroom with its welcoming double bed. ‘I love you, Lily. Let’s begin that shared time.’