Testimony

I was born on a cold winter’s day in February 1946. I had an older brother and sister and later my younger sister arrived. We were very poor like many people after the war!

My father was a squadron leader in the RAF. He had been left for dead during the war. His mates found him and he had to have a metal plate put into the top of his head.

He was never the same. He took to drink. Our lives became a nightmare. Mum was an angel and had a very hard life. We lived cheaply; bread and home-made jam - a great big favourite. If it had been nowadays we would have been on cholesterol tablets - the dripping we spread on bread!

When I was seven, having been brought up in a house by the sea my younger sister and I played together happily, we moved to Sheldon in Birmingham. We attended a Catholic school, St Thomas More. I also went on my own to church. I became a strong Catholic. My sisters and brother did not attend church. My heart was full of my faith. I did not understand a word of the service which was in Latin; I realise now at the age of sixty-eight that God was part of me. Nobody explained to me how at my Confirmation when I was seven years old a Guardian Angel would come down from Heaven and cover me with The Holy Spirit of Love.

Aged eleven I went to a new Catholic school, Archbishop Williams at Tile Cross. I worked hard and had many friends. I met an older boy who was very nice to me. I would go to his mum and dad’s house and his mum would wash my hair for me. I loved that family’s sincerity - no booze for them! They would go to football matches and always brought back fish and chips wrapped in newspaper.

Question - did you have newspaper in the loo? I used to read it. My father was drinking more, he came home from the war a changed man. He was the image of Errol Flynn (handsome). At bedtime he would get us out of bed, near closing time at the pub, to get him a quart of beer. Missing the pub was an inner fear. He would put the radiogram on loud, full blast like a concentration camp. It was his way of making us suffer.

His next trick was to get us all out of bed and make us go into the shed. Mum would leave the latch on the kitchen window so at about four o’clock in the morning my brother would climb through the window and let us in by the back door. We would creep to bed, frightened to death that Father would wake up and knock us about. He was a bully.

As we grew up Father would say at fifteen years old it was time to fend for ourselves and one by one we would be thrown out, my brother first, then my older sister. My time came. At this time I met my first husband, my first love. His mother put me up. There were three of us in the double bed. I was at the feet end. In the other bed slept the granny and the youngest daughter. I decided to look for digs, one room on my own in people’s homes. I learned how to be subservient.

After one year my father said I could go back home so that I could save for a wedding and a house with my boyfriend. My father had calmed down now - not much I’m afraid. My boyfriend and I decided to get married in a Church of England church; a white wedding with all white roses in my hair! We bought a semi-detached house where we were very happy.

One day the Priest came to see us both. He said we would have to get married again as we were not married in the Catholic church. My husband said no and put the Priest out.

No more church for me, the Priest excommunicated me so I gave up going to church, but I never stopped praying to God in private.

A turn-up for the books! My father paid for me and my sister to go to a comptometer college. I started a well-paid job at Baskerville House in Birmingham city centre. I had to go on the bus; you didn’t think to drive in those days. After a while I became bored. I applied for a job with rapid figure work and travelled to different firms doing accounts. Yes, then it happened! I fell pregnant, and at six months I was doomed to be a housewife. Another daughter arrived eighteen months later. Money was tight, so I took up doing lingerie parties with my suitcase every night. I was very bright at selling; my personality grew and I realised I was a good saleslady for the Salamander Party Plan.

I started driving lessons. My husband took me out and after thirteen lessons I passed with flying colours. At last I had arrived - motor wheels to carry my suitcase. I became a manager. The money took the strain off my husband.

Then he came home and said he was going to work with his father doing roofing. He worked away a lot. And then it happened, he started having an affair with another woman. My heart was broken. He came home to pick the girls up for a day out. He sat on the chair and asked if he could come back. He realised the grass wasn’t any greener on the other side and I was easier to live with. My answer was no, I could not take him back, I had lost trust in him.

After that episode in my life I was like a working whirlwind. I went for a job at Cradley Heath Fancy Goods. Around the shops I went with confidence and realised I had 100% selling power! One day I went to a fancy goods shop and the owner talked to me about selling for myself. I asked him how to start and he took me to a wholesaler in Birmingham city centre. The wholesaler gave me a chance. Twenty-four purses later I was back! The profit I had made impressed him so much he said I could have credit. I was made! I needed a van. I was directed to a car dealer who bought and sold vans. I had hardly any money but I bought from him a Commer van with gears on the steering wheel for £80, what a bargain! It was a builder’s van and I had quite a job clearing it out. Many a night when I was out and about selling fancy goods at parties, the police would flag me down and make me open the back. They soon realised I was harmless.

I was making so much money I decided to buy a new detached house by the church in Castle Bromwich. I had to get a mortgage with West Bromwich Building Society. They called me into their office to show proof that I could manage a mortgage; after I had shown them proof of my business they gave me a mortgage. Success!! More good luck for me! I was full of drive with my spirit. I sold our semi-detached house with £3,000 profit for us both. My husband was shocked when he saw my new house. It showed I was the best bet.

At this time I had been giving credit to a shop in Coleshill Road. He could not pay me back so I said I would take his shop over, plus a flat for what he owed me. He could not get out fast enough! What a slog to get it straight. Retail shops earn more cash. I started buying job lots with more discount. I also bought a brand new Luton van, racked both sides for ease when selling fancy goods and job lots.

I had a babysitter for the girls and I would go out dancing to the Tower Ballroom, the Locarno and the Rum Runner. Fate! I met a man who dealt in antiques. He flattered me and seemed a nice man. He used a big furniture van and slept in it. He was the only man to buy me red roses. He gave me a sob story and I was hooked. He had a shop dealing in antiques. Well, more fool me! I said he could sleep at my house for some housekeeping money. He was all right at first, then he started more sob stories. No money for me. He took over my life, but I would never marry him. I always wanted a son, so I asked him to make me pregnant. He was only too pleased to do the deed; he thought he had his feet well under the table. To cut the story short, I had a son! Wow! After three weeks I threw his father’s clothes and suitcase out of the bedroom window. He started to stalk me when I went out. He even crashed his car into the tree in my garden. There was a write-up in the Daily Mail “Driver crashes in a fit of pique”, I laughed my head off. I was free again. He was a pain. I was thrilled with my baby boy, he was no trouble and my daughters, by now twelve and fourteen, helped me out. I had a friend who was so good to me; she took over looking after my baby son so that I could go to work again.

Looking back now, I became a recluse from men. I wasn’t going to get into that trap again. I was quite a hard worker even though I say it myself. I always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. I prayed hard and was sure God was with me. Just an idle thought.

After my time as a recluse I met another man, a bachelor with a very outgoing personality. He worked for the National Trust. He had a house on the side of the canal at Lapworth. He was good company, no bedroom capers, and that suited me fine. He had a dog named Porky which got on well with my dog, Gilly, a springer spaniel. Time passed in a haze. Happy days!

Then the dreaded thing. I lost my head. Yes, a breakdown. I was sectioned into Highcroft Hospital. My mind had gone so high. I had hypermania. I now realise how hard it was for me to keep my mind at rest. One night when I was in bed in the hospital I felt I was in a beehive with so many bees buzzing around in my head. There was a male night nurse who kept walking up the ward sounding like he was wearing hobnail boots. By now I was on the road to getting my sanity back. I was put on a drug called Lithium, which was supposed to be a wonder drug!

I realised I was doing too much so I gave my Luton van to the wholesaler for the money I owed him. I gave up wholesaling and spent my time in the shop. I started to sell wool, and mohair was all the rage then. I had forty out-knitters. I had so much stock we had to hang jumpers from the ceiling. Christmas came and there was one mohair jacket left. A man came in and bought it for his wife.

Life settled down. I took the Lithium and things started to get better. At this time a representative came in to sell me some wool. We got talking about God. My heart was beating fast.

The rep said, “Why don’t you come to my church this Sunday?”

I could not wait. I came alive with the love of God. Guess what? I was baptised within six weeks, fully immersed in water. At last I was on the right path to God again. This was in 1980 and by this baptism I became a born-again Christian.

I started reading my Bible, saying my prayers and selling my wares. I started writing poems as a hobby. I went to the gym, aquarobics and swimming. I had a happy home with my three children and, of course, Gilly the dog. We took Gilly to be mated with another springer spaniel. One day when pregnant, she got out and a mongrel had her. Then came the birth - some spaniels and some mongrels. I sold them all for a profit. The name of my game!

Time went by and I took the children to America, and on the way I met a girl on the plane with her son. We got on well together. She latched on to me as I could drive and we both wanted the company of an adult.

I continued to go to church. I changed and went to one in Bromford Bridge. My mind needed a rest. Nothing much going on there. Nobody said anything to me about blood tests for the Lithium, so I went merrily on my way. I went to another doctor; she was really efficient and had me go for a test on my kidneys. What a fright I had! My kidneys had gone down in function to forty per cent only. I was sent to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital where they had a whole section of the hospital for kidney treatment. They took me off the Lithium as this was the cause of my kidney failure and it would be too late if their function dropped to twenty per cent. They started talking about dialysis! At this time I changed my church to Ark in Mere Green. They prayed for my kidneys to improve. Now, three years later, they have managed to stay stable.

I offered a personal service. I went to a customer’s house with some parcels from my shop as she could not carry them. I was sitting having a cup of tea, time to relax, when this tall man came in. He was charm itself! He started talking to me, telling me he had just lost his wife to cancer. He asked me out. I thought it was too soon. He said she had been dying for years and he was lonely. I took him under my wing. We went out for a meal together. One day, a few weeks later, we went, with my four-year-old son, to see some new houses that were being built in Walmley. On the way back home, after having a good look, he asked me to go in with him to buy one. He sold his house first, then three weeks later I sold mine also. We moved in to the new house a few weeks later. He had got himself a ready made family. He had no children.

He was a policeman in the CID. He has never pulled a stroke on me. He has always treated me fairly. We ‘lived in sin’ for six years and then decided to get married. We got married in the church at Bromford Bridge.

I have been a born-again Christian since I was baptised in 1980. My husband is a non-believer but never stops me in my walk with God. He paid all the bills and even gave me housekeeping. He was quite a drinker in the beginning, and I, having first-hand knowledge of a drunkard, kept my head down and kept silent. A funny thing happened; I set him a good example and after a few months of me keeping cool he gave up the drink. Happiness reigned! He looked after me and I am very grateful for the support he gave me. I did not have any more relapses with my hypermania. I decided to sell my shop and become a housewife. My husband agreed. At this time I put on three stone in weight. I joined Slimming World and it took one year to get down to my weight target. I joined up with Balantynes Gym and did aquarobics three times a week. I met a nice crowd of women and girls and we all went out together.

My daughters had left home to get married and they are both very happy. My son went to Hull University and got a degree in English. The man who sired him had nothing to do with his son. He gave him a twenty pound note and that was it. I was only too pleased to have nothing to do with him. I did not want a penny. My son is thirty-five now and has a daughter of seven, she is a little angel. My son never came back home and still lives in Hull. He is still a bachelor and he is a good father and has his daughter quite a lot of the time.

My two daughters have got two sons each and they both live in nice houses. My elder daughter lives in Croyde overlooking the sea in Devon. My younger daughter lives in Sutton Coldfield, and is a very successful mobile hairdresser.

I am proud of my family although they say I was very strict with them. But all in all we had a happy home! We love animals. Gilly, our springer spaniel, lived to eighteen years old, when we had to have her put down.

Then my mother, God Rest Her Soul, had a little dachshund given to her by my youngest sister. Mum could not cope and gave him to me, he was called Bengy. He lived to seventeen years, and it broke my heart to lose him. We had some lovely times with him.

My husband said I could not have another dog. Twelve months passed and my youngest sister said, “Why don’t we go to the dogs’ home?”

HIP, HIP HURRAY, we met Lola. My tears started to fall. My husband gave in. Lola has brought happiness to us all.

I am a natural with spirit life, but I realise now they have given me perfect love and understanding. My ministry of letter and poem writing. I am becoming adept to the Holy Spirit guiding my mind. I am at great peace.

Numbers 6:24–26