29

Hannah wrapped her arms against her abdomen and the nausea within. “I do not care what it takes. I refuse to lose Samuel again.”

Hunter gave a low knicker and nudged her with his nose.

She stepped to him and hugged his neck. “I’ve never been so frightened.” Not for a while, anyway. Not since being slammed to the ground by a frontiersman who didn’t want his horse stolen. Who could have suspected how dependent she would have grown on that man? Her hope rested with him now—him and his God.

She glanced heavenward.

Hunter leaned his head in, an itch to scratch.

“I found my brother and he’s alive. Was that God’s work?” She rubbed the horse’s sleek summer coat, tawny in the sun. “And if He could do that for me, could He not also find a way to set Samuel free?”

Joseph always closed his eyes and tipped his head forward in prayer, so she did the same. “Dear Lord,” that was how Joseph addressed Him. But Andrew had also called Him Father. Hannah liked that image. Her father had loved his children. She’d like to think God did, as well. “Please, Father, give me my brother back. Don’t let them take him from me again.” She leaned her forehead into Hunter’s strong neck. “Please.”

“Hannah?”

She steeled herself and turned to Samuel and his wide grin—the one she’d always loved. Wonder and worry both struggled within her, making her ill.

“I just came from Colonel Hardy.” He held up two sheets of parchment.

“What are those?”

Her brother’s eyes glistened. “One is my discharge.” He sniffed, and a tear rolled free. “It says I am free to go.”

Hannah’s lungs seized. She couldn’t breathe. Her chest trembled with the attempt. Thank you, Lord! She threw her arms around Samuel and held tight. She didn’t have to let go. “I don’t understand. How did Joseph convince the colonel?”

“I wasn’t told. But he is still speaking with Colonel Hardy. Joseph said he’ll come shortly. As soon as he’s finished.”

Hannah pulled back to look up at her brother, and the papers in his hands rustled. “What does the other one say?”

“That one, Joseph insisted on. The colonel read it to me himself.” Samuel beamed. “It is a letter that says I have served honorably in the Continental Army and am due all the rights and respect as a vitrine of such.” He held it so she could see. “His signature is here, and this is his seal. My past and what papa did are no longer tied to me.”

“Then you can come back to the valley with us. You can have whatever life you wish.”

“Which is only what he deserves,” Joseph said.

Hannah looked past Samuel to where he stood. She let go and raced across the short distance between them. “Thank you, Joseph!” She flung her arms around him and pressed her lips to his. I love you!

He captured her against him, not just with his embrace, but with the caress of his mouth, moving as though to speak to her soul. Hannah replied. She loved this man more than she’d thought possible. She loved his sparring, his teasing, his warmth, his gentleness. She loved how he held her when she needed to be held, despite her. She loved his strength. She loved his love for the land. And for his family. And she loved that in this moment, she couldn’t doubt that he loved her, too.

Ever so slowly, Joseph pulled away. Still, his hands cupped her face. He tipped his head against hers and filled his lungs. “I need to speak with you.”

She sank her fingers into his hair. “Samuel already told me. I just don’t understand how you did it. The colonel was so set when we spoke to him last. He said he couldn’t afford to give up a good soldier.”

“He can’t.” Joseph braced her shoulders.

“But…?”

“I told him I’d take Samuel’s place.”

“Oh, Joseph, no.” Not that. Everything spun back out of control. “You can’t do it. What about your land? What about your family—your children. James and Martha need you.” I need you.

“They have Rachel and Andrew, grandparents, and even Daniel and his wife. They don’t need me. The land, the cabin—between Andrew and Daniel, seed will still get planted in the spring and harvested in the autumn.”

She searched Joseph’s face, and saw the torture within. “What about me?”

“You have Samuel. He’s a man now. He will take care of you.” His arms fell against his sides. “You’ll be fine without me.”

“But I won’t.” Her hands lowered to the nape of his neck. She wasn’t sure if she should kiss him or shake him. Didn’t he know she couldn’t walk away from him, either? “You’re my husband, Joseph. You’re my husband and…and I love you.” So very, very much.

He blinked rapidly as though surprised. And then straightened away from her. “You can’t.”

“What do you mean I can’t? After all you have done for me and everything…” we’ve shared. Weeks of travel. Kisses. Nights only inches apart. “Wives are supposed to love their husbands.”

Joseph swallowed hard and shook his head. “That was a mistake. If there had been any other way to keep my family safe, I wouldn’t have let you marry me.” He took her wrists and held her away from him. “If you knew the truth…if you knew the truth, you would have encouraged Otetiani to take my scalp and burn down everything I’d ever built.”

Hannah fell back a step. “How can you say that? How can you even suggest—”

“I killed him,” Joseph whispered.

Him? The same him from his conversation with Daniel?

“I should have told you before now. Maybe that day at Fort Herkimer when you asked about Oriskany. I should have told you then.”

Hannah stared. Another step back. She didn’t need to hear any more. She already knew. And it wrung her. “Oriskany? Papa?”

Joseph glanced to where Samuel stood. “You need to hear it, too. You don’t owe me anything. Your pa and I fought at Oriskany four years ago. And I killed him.” Joseph wiped a hand down his face and closed his eyes. “I killed him.”

No. Anything but that. And yet she couldn’t doubt it. He’d told her before. In his silence. The pained look in his eyes. He’d confessed over and over and she’d never listened. Hannah clasped her palm over her mouth as though she could somehow contain the agony ripping through her and what had moments ago been overwhelming love for this man. How could she feel that now? What was she supposed to feel?

What did he feel?

Hannah waved her unsteady hand at him. “I don’t understand. Why all of this? Is that why you came with me? Is that why you made your promises? It was never about me, was it?”

“Of course it was about you.” He released his breath. “You were my neighbor.”

~*~

Joseph braced himself as Hannah fled into the woods. He couldn’t go after her and hold her until everything was all right again. That was no longer his place. He walked to Hunter before facing Samuel. “The horse is Hannah’s now.” Joseph had forgotten all about the foal he’d wanted to give her. Now it didn’t matter. She could keep the sire. “He’s already seen enough of this war.”

“Haven’t we all?”

Joseph wanted to agree, but it seemed premature. His life was no longer his own, and he was about to march into whatever offensive General Washington decided upon. He was a soldier of the Continental Army and would obey whatever orders he was given. For once he would look beyond himself and his family and fight for his country.

“I think you are wrong.” Samuel remained in place.

“About what?” Joseph had been wrong plenty of times, but everything seemed pretty straightforward in this instance.

“That we should blame you for Pa’s death. Hannah might struggle for a while, but she does love you. Any fool can see that. And how can a man be held responsible for what happens in the thick of battle? Unless you purposefully sought him out with the intent to murder him.”

Joseph shook his head. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel justified in what I did.” He pushed the memory from his mind and patted Hunter’s neck. They had been through a lot together and somehow survived. Now he would continue on alone.

“Can I ask you one question?”

“Go ahead.” Joseph steeled himself.

“When you fought my pa, if you hadn’t killed him, would he have killed you?”

Very likely, but…”That doesn’t change anything.” He crouched by the saddle and packs to find anything he might need. His pistol. Powder horn. What else? It was hard to care.

“How does that not change anything?” Samuel stepped to him and extended a hand. “I don’t blame you for Pa’s death. And I am grateful for what you’ve done for me.” His eyes glistened as he gripped Joseph’s hand with both of his. “I will always think of you as the brother you are to me now. Thank you. Thank you for my freedom.”

Joseph stood dumfounded as the boy embraced him, and he was helpless not to reciprocate. Giving up his own freedom was suddenly worth it, and more so. He’d given Hannah back her brother and with the funds he still had from the sale of Pa’s timepiece, they could make do while they made plans. Hunter would take them wherever they needed to go.

Warmth filled Joseph, along with gratitude to a watchful God above. Perhaps the Lord never did answer his prayers, but how often had He used Joseph as an answer to someone else’s? Like a wounded British officer left among the dead? Or a girl in search of her brothers? That was enough for Joseph. Whether or not he survived whatever waited for him and the rest of the Continental Army.