I stared out the window during the entire drive to the clearing in the woods. It had been used as an entry and communication point in the past. Best I could understand, it was like setting up a cell tower to relay the energy between worlds and then between angels. When the collapse had come—Bing had referred to it that way a couple of times—and the existing, full-grown angels had sensed the loss, they’d gathered there, hoping it was a glitch. But Bing said there’d been no sign there was ever a relay present, and it was the same all over the world. He wasn’t as convinced as Phillip that it could be reopened, but Phillip insisted there was a convergence of energy in this world that was mirrored in the other, and he believed their kind would be as eager to reconnect with their lost agents as he was with them.
So obviously we were assuming Phillip was right. If he wasn’t, the worst that would happen was another fistfight. If he was…
I wanted not to think about that, but it was impossible to get away from. I huddled into myself and watched the darkness speed past the station wagon’s window. Lincoln sat beside me, Jordan on his other side, and Tucker in front. I’d expected Linc to sit up front, to talk strategy with Bing, and Tuck would be my lifeline, a warm, solid reassurance that everything would be okay. But no, Tucker had gone all commando on me, and Lincoln’s concern swelled and popped from him like bubbles off Lady Gaga.
I’d never felt so alone or betrayed. I told myself they hadn’t done it on purpose, but there was no way it was a mistake, either. They’d avoided talking about it because they had no answers. Bing said there was no known history of an angel soul being separated from its human body after birth had taken place. There were some fusions that failed, but in those cases, the baby miscarried very early and the angel went home. Ditto if they died while here, so the human body was buried and the energy was drawn home. Because my birth happened before the collapse, everyone assumed that because we’d been together for the full nine months, and had partly fused, the separation wasn’t normal and my light didn’t have the right attributes to be drawn home. It didn’t have the part of itself that was in me.
I’d have found it all fascinating if I was reading about it in a novel, but since it only described in more horrible ways the fracturing of my entire being…well, fascinating wasn’t the right word. Disturbing came closer.
And that was without even voicing the possibility that my separation had caused the collapse.
Bing pulled his ancient car off the main road, onto a gravel one-lane drive, and the quiet in the car changed tone. I realized my mood had been dragging everyone else down, and that was bogus. Ask them for help, take them to a fight that could kill them or put them in jail, then make them feel it was hopeless? Nice friend I was. Guilt would have drowned me, but that would have been just as bad. I had to stop wallowing in the problem and find a solution.
“Jordan, what time is it?” I had a watch, but it was the only thing I could think of to start moving us in a more positive direction.
“Quarter to twelve,” she answered.
“Everyone got that?” General murmuring while we all adjusted our watches. “Priority one.” I held up a thumb to start counting, though it was too dark for anyone to see me. “Get the jar of light away from Phillip, or whoever’s hiding it if he gets that smart. I can tell where it is, so let me take point. Lincoln will stay with me as my guard.”
They all agreed. Bing silently maneuvered the big car through a narrow gap between trees.
“I take it this isn’t the main road in?” I asked, meaning it as a joke.
“Actually,” Bing corrected, “it was. For the humans using the park. They closed this section of it when they cut maintenance funding. Phillip will be using our old way in, but I doubt it’s in as good shape as this.” We bounced over a big pothole, and I had to put my hand up to avoid hitting the ceiling. The seatbelt on my side of the car was broken.
“You show Tucker and Jordan the best ways to approach, then,” I told him. “I don’t want them to be seen or involved unless they have to be.”
He nodded.
“We’ll have your back!” Jordan declared merrily.
Not if I can help it. “Stay hidden in case we need you. You’re my ace in the hole.”
“After I get Miss Palese and Mr. Parsons situated,” Bing said as he brought the car to a rocking halt in an old parking lot, “I shall confront Phillip. At best, I can talk him out of his foolishness.”
I didn’t scoff, because I knew he didn’t believe that could happen, anyway. “Hopefully at worst, we’ll stop him without any bloodshed.” I winced, but all I sensed from everyone was determination. So how could I offer less?
We piled out of the car. Bing started to point me and Lincoln toward the clearing, but it wasn’t necessary. “It’s here,” I murmured. Linc and I were already striding down the path when Bing swung wide of us. Tucker went right, alone, because Bing had told him the landmarks to lead him to the right spot. Bing went with Jordan, and I heard her hissing her displeasure at even more sexism. But I felt better, anyway. Call me an anti-feminist, I didn’t care.
The woods were nice tonight, almost romantic. A breeze rustled the leaves overhead, masking the sounds of our approach and wafting that springy, green, flowery, fresh, new scent. The bright moon reflected off the stones embedded in our path. As we walked, something tugged in my chest, pulling me forward. I resisted, even though I was already going in the direction of the tugging. I was in control. I wouldn’t go dashing after what I craved, and I wouldn’t be forced into an action that didn’t feel right.
Still, I unconsciously picked up the pace and had to force myself to slow down, keep quiet. Beside me, Lincoln seemed to be wrestling with some decision. He had that look, and every so often a body part twitched, as if he changed his mind before he finished moving. I was too distracted to ask him about it. A few hundred feet ahead of us, I could see the glow of my light, its otherworldly, brilliant whiteness. I drew in a long breath and braced myself.
And Lincoln jerked me off the path and into the woods.
“What—”
Linc covered my mouth with his hand. “Shh. We can’t be heard.” I nodded. He dropped his hand from my mouth, but held on to my arms. I stared at him. Even in the faint combined light from the moon and my soul, I could see the tension on his face. As dark as his eyes were, they still burned.
“I can’t let you go in there without saying this,” he told me softly. His fingers tightened and I flinched.
“No, Linc. I can’t handle a ‘no matter what happens’ speech.”
“That’s not what this is. Well.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Okay, that’s what this is. But Roxie, I can’t let you do this without making sure you know two things.”
I sighed, my insides roiling. I understood why people always tried to stop others from doing this. I always thought it was stupid to deny that something could happen, like talking about it would make it happen. But if Lincoln hadn’t been holding my arms so tightly, I’d have slapped my hand over his mouth, just so he wouldn’t say he’d miss me when I was gone.
Except that wasn’t what he said.
“Don’t think about me.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I know you’ve had a hard time making your decision. I just want you to know…” He made a face. “God, this sounds conceited. It’s okay if you decide not to fuse with it.”
“But—”
“I know. The fate of the world, etcetera.” He shook his head, and his bangs fell into his eyes. He’d loosened his grip enough that I could reach up to push them back, and I did without thinking about it. He froze, which made me freeze, but then he caught my hand against his cheek and straightened, holding it there. His skin was hot and prickled my palm.
“I’m okay being the only one,” he murmured. His lips brushed the skin at the edge of my wrist and tingles flew up my arm. “I want you to be the you that you want to be. So don’t think about me.”
I sighed. “O-okay.” It came out a croak. I couldn’t find the words to tell him what that meant to me, but I had to try. “Linc…” He narrowed his eyes, and I swallowed hard. “Okay. Thank you.” To my left, the light brightened, piercing into the woods. We were almost out of time, but… “Um…what was the other thing?”
“This.” In one swift move he’d pulled my hand behind his neck, wrapped the other arm around my back, and yanked me against him. His mouth came down and landed on mine in an oh-my-God kiss I was never, angel or human, eighteen or eighty, going to forget.
Tucker’s kisses were warm and melty, building slow desire. Lincoln’s…blew that away. Fire shot through my body. I didn’t inhale, but his scent invaded me anyway, and it was so good, like the best food you’ve ever smelled when you’re hungrier than you’ve ever been. I was aware of everything about him, from the silky hair on the back of my hand, to the hard thighs rubbing mine, and his strong arms keeping me upright. And his hot, soft, perfect, demanding mouth telling me everything he’d ever felt about me. There might have been some brain-melding going on, too, but I was too shocked to pinpoint it. Too shocked by not only the kiss, but my reaction to it.
I never wanted it to end.
But it did, of course, mere seconds after it started. It hadn’t gone on for hours, as it had seemed. Lincoln let me go, and two feet of space appeared between us. I stared at him, numb with shock at first. Where was Tucker? Had he seen that? I so didn’t want him to have seen that. My fingertips tingled, and I clenched and unclenched my hands. I wanted to yell at Lincoln to stop looking so damned hopeful, as if he expected me to throw myself back into his arms and declare my joy. Joy definitely wasn’t what I was feeling, but the numbness faded, leaving shock and confusion and…okay, yeah. A tiny bit of joy.
Then my watch beeped. Five minutes to midnight.
Go time.
* * *
It made no sense. Lincoln’s kiss hadn’t exactly clarified the nightmare of indecision I’d wallowed in all day. All week. Maybe it was just easier to face the fusion problem than the Lincoln problem. But when my watch beeped, everything clicked. I turned and ran full tilt to the clearing, scrambling to a halt when I reached it only because I couldn’t see what was going on. I threw up a hand to shield my eyes from the double light in the center.
They adjusted surprisingly quickly, and in a few seconds I made out Phillip standing a few feet from me, holding the pickle jar. When I entered the clearing his arm jerked sideways, toward me, as if the light had tried to get to me. He ignored it, which made no sense until I realized what his attention was on.
About ten feet from him was another light, coming from a rift in the air. That was the only way to describe it. It looked exactly like a tear in paper, with jagged edges, and the light coming through wasn’t as pure or as steady as the light in the jar. It pulsed and waned, and I knew its source was many.
To put it pompously.
When the jar jerked in my direction, the light in the rift dimmed, like it was connected to mine. It strengthened again when Phillip took a step toward it, expanding about a foot upward and downward. Phillip didn’t move, but stood frowning at it, and he seemed to be trying to force it to grow with his will.
I had a few seconds to scope the situation. Six men ringed the clearing. John and Owen flanked Phillip, and they stared open-mouthed at the spectacle in front of them. The other four guys seemed more professional or something, because they stood like bodyguards or security officers, legs spread, arms folded. Well, the two nearest me did. One was looking into the woods, and I could sense Bing beyond him. Wow. That was startling. I hadn’t recognized him as an angel before, but something was changing in me. I realized there had been no pain in my head this time as I got near the light. And I could sense Bing’s angelicness, and Phillip’s smudged version of it, and Linc in the woods behind me and to the right.
I also sensed the world through the rift. Every time it pulsed, I rocked back, like a breeze was washing over me, a breeze that carried voices and spirits and hundreds of beings that felt familiar and strange all at the same time. Anticipation welled up, like Christmas and vacation and prom combined.
Jordan screamed on my left, and I jerked around, the spell broken. She wriggled and writhed and kicked in the grip of the sixth goon. He must have seen or heard her in the woods.
“Let her go!” I shouted, but before I could move, Tucker was there, throwing a punch at the guy. The blow didn’t faze him much. He threw Jordan to the ground and swung at Tucker. I started to run over there, but another sound stopped me, a blood-icing, heart-stopping sound.
A gunshot.
I whirled, trying to figure out who’d fired, and who was hit. Bing came out of the woods, but there was no blood on him. He slapped his hand against the skull of the guy who’d been looking for him, and the thug slumped to the ground, unconscious. Nice trick. I wondered briefly why he hadn’t used it when they were beating him up at his house, but got my answer when he sagged to one knee, clearly drained. I was pretty sure, though, it was from using his powers, not from a gunshot wound.
Jordan was okay. I couldn’t see Lincoln or two of Phillip’s guys now. God, please don’t let him be shot! I started around the outside of the clearing. Phillip still wasn’t moving. I had time, I told myself. I had to make sure Linc was okay.
The first guy lunged for me as I reached his section of the clearing, but I dodged him and ran on. The next guy was holding a pistol aimed up into the trees. What was he aiming at? Lincoln? Or an animal or bird that had distracted him? He lowered the gun, and still Linc wasn’t in sight.
This was no good. I was trying to protect all my friends, save all the good guys, but all I was doing was running in circles. I stopped, my heart thudding so hard my chest hurt. I needed to focus. The light. You have to get the light. The guy I’d dodged caught up to me and wrapped an arm around my chest. I elbowed him and he grunted and hunched, letting me drop to a crouch and slide easily out of the hold. These guys weren’t used to fighting teenagers. Or maybe they’d underestimated us.
The rift was bigger now, stretching twenty feet from top to bottom, and had widened to a few feet across. The edges had gone red, like it was hot, and wind began to gust around the circle, a roar of noise filling the space so that I couldn’t hear anything else.
I circled back around the rift, trying to get to Jordan and Tucker, or at least to Phillip, to do what I’d come here to do. As I came even with the rift, I saw Tucker lying on the ground and Jordan running toward me, yelling something I couldn’t hear. She motioned wildly toward Phillip. I turned, and cried out. He’d opened the jar and was holding it back, like a pitcher with a baseball. He was going to throw the light, jar and all, into the rift.
“Noooo!” I rushed forward. Lincoln appeared on my right, running flat out at Phillip. His path was going to take him into the rift. I screamed, or maybe that was Jordan, echoing what was in my head. Linc dove under the red, ragged edge of the rift and came up in a roll, diving again at Phillip.
Too late. Light flashed, twice. Phillip threw the jar with his right hand and jabbed at Lincoln’s stomach with his left. The second flash was a knife blade.
Instinct took over. Whatever conflict I’d had, my gut had resolved, because without a single second of hesitation, I flung myself forward, twisting in the air to intercept the light. I knew the action was irreversible—whatever was about to happen was permanent. And I was good with that.
For about three seconds. Then the jar slammed into my stomach, the light pouring out. It filled my senses, burning into my eyes, nose, mouth, throat, chest…my entire body. It filled me and spilled over, and then it carried me into the rift.
Agony. Electricity jolted through every nerve. Heat, cold, power. Pain. My head split, yet remained whole so my swelling brain crowded against my skull. My skin blistered and peeled, exposing raw tissue to acid. At the same time it squeezed me, as if trying to compact me and push me through a tunnel or crack. The noise was unbearable, like being with a hundred thousand people in a stadium built for fifty. Voices bombarded me, excited and joyful and apprehensive. Or were they feelings?
Underneath the inescapable pain, I got it. I was going home. Phillip had thrown me into the rift, not just the light. I was fusing and traveling at the same time. Alone. To a place I didn’t understand, didn’t belong. I was human, and I shouldn’t be in that place, not this way. Not fused. The connection I’d felt to Lincoln was stretching, thinning, and I knew Phillip was wrong. This was a one-time thing. Once I was through, the rift would close and no one else could follow. I’d never see Linc again. Or my family, or Tucker and Jordan.
Panic slammed through me and I began to struggle, trying to turn. There was no physicality to the space around me. No real tunnel. But I had a sense of forward, of back, and I fought desperately to stop the squeezing, pushing force.
It wasn’t working. Beings reached for me, latched on to me, a collective consciousness eager for news and contact, and a new ache swelled inside the raw pain. I wanted to help them. I wanted to tell them it was okay, that we were all okay, but the need wasn’t stronger than my desperation to get back. I was going to college. I had little sisters who wouldn’t understand where I’d gone. Parents who wouldn’t understand. Friends, and love, and oh, god, how could I have not understood and been grateful for everything I had? I whined and moped about how I was apart, disconnected, but giving that up…no. I couldn’t.
I wasn’t sure how I did it. I imagined a cleaver descending through the pulsing brilliance around me, slicing off the connection to the far side. The compression intensified and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t scream, and then suddenly I shot out of the rift, arms and legs flailing, and slammed onto the ground. Onto grass, and dirt, and a stick poking my ear. Ow.
I lay for a few seconds, gasping, one gigantic body cramp. The pain wasn’t bad enough to make me scream, but my joints popped and snapped and my muscles writhed, trying to get back to normal. I blinked and squinted. The light was still too bright. But the rift was closed, I could feel it. The light…was coming from my hand. I yelled, jerking upright.
“Gaahgggghh!” God, that hurt. I hunched to wait out the wave of pain. My entire freaking body was glowing. I couldn’t sense the light anymore, not as a separate entity. Because it wasn’t. It had worked. I’d fused. As I watched, the light sank into my body and faded. Euphoria welled up, growing stronger the dimmer the light became, the more the pain faded. I couldn’t believe I’d worried so much about this. I was whole. The emptiness was gone. And I had no sense of evil, of taint. I looked up, opened my mouth to share my euphoria, and froze. I’d completely forgotten that this wasn’t over.
Bing, Tucker, Jordan, Lincoln, Owen, Phillip, and John surrounded me. Through their legs, I could see bodies on the ground. They’d apparently disabled the goons. Friend and foe alike stared at me, but all with different reactions. Jordan had her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. Tucker was half crouched, his hands out, as if he was afraid to touch me. Lincoln hunched, panting, his hand on his side. Bing’s eyes shone with hope. John and Owen looked dumb. But Phillip…Phillip burned with rage. I could almost see the flames coming off his skull.
“What. Have. You. Done?!” He didn’t wait. He lunged for me, a switchblade in his hand. Matching rage roared inside me. He’d stabbed Lincoln. Was about to kill me. I swung around and surged to my feet, flung out my hands, and pushed. He went flying and landed on his back.
“Whoa,” Tucker said for all of them.
I stormed out of the circle, all my focus on Phillip, whose fury hadn’t been affected by my power. “You’ve destroyed everything!” he bellowed. He raised the knife again. I sensed my friends lurching forward to intercept him, to help me, but this was my fight. I swept my left hand back and they stopped like they’d hit a glass wall. Jordan gasped. Power surged through my body. I was stronger than I’d ever been, and I wasn’t afraid. I knew I could stop Phillip. He couldn’t hurt me. I stepped back. The knife swept downward and missed me. That threw Phillip off balance so he stumbled forward. I stepped back again, and he fell to one knee. He seemed to be moving in slow motion, but I knew that I was really moving fast, instead. I could hear the others yelling, but it was muffled and distorted. I kicked at Phillip’s hand and knocked the knife a few feet away. Bing stooped to pick it up. I planted my foot against Phillip’s chest, and he froze, glaring at me with the heat of a thousand fiery suns.
I laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound, but it came from me, from my own emotions and reactions, not from damage by the crimes Phillip had committed with my light.
“You’ve destroyed it,” he growled.
“It wasn’t going to work,” I told him. Pointless, but I had to try. “You opened it, but it was a one-time thing.”
“No. You intercepted the energy that would have made the connection permanent,” he snarled, leaning into my foot. I braced harder, but the effort hardly cost me anything. Almost made me wish I wasn’t done with gym class.
“You’re wrong,” I said. “Even if I hadn’t caught it, the connection would have closed when my light went through. You’d still have been stranded here.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Roxie,” Lincoln grated out. I held up a hand, meaning only to signal quiet, but he flinched back. Hurt, I took my attention off Phillip to look at Linc. I didn’t want him—any of them—scared of me, for cripes sake! That’s when I saw the blood on his shirt, running through his fingers. He was badly hurt.
Phillip took advantage of my distraction. He grabbed my foot and used my leg to shove me to the ground and was on top of me in a flash, his hand at my throat. I held him off by the shoulders, my arms straight out, but he had a longer reach and squeezed. I gagged. Tucker moved to tackle Phillip, but given something normal to do, John and Owen shook off their stupor and grabbed Tucker by the arms.
“It’s true,” I croaked, afraid Lincoln and Jordan would move in and get hurt, or worse. I was choking, but Phillip wasn’t doing any real damage. I thought I knew why—he still had hope that he could use me to open the rift again. “Whatever broke is still broken. The light was pure energy, strong enough to open the corridor, but not to keep it open. And now it’s gone.”
“Nooooo,” he growled again, baring his teeth in my face. “How can you know this?
“They told me.”
Everyone froze.
“They told you?” Phillip relaxed his grip a little and I wheezed in a breath. It felt almost as good as when my light sank into me.
“Who…told you?” he asked, his voice small. His hope was fading.
“They did. The angels. On the other side.” I hadn’t known it at the time, but somehow I had downloaded the things they were saying to me, and now they were in my brain. I knew things I hadn’t known before. Not a lot—there hadn’t been time, when they realized I wasn’t going through—but enough.
“She’s right,” Bing suddenly said. We looked up at him. He was staring over us, at the point where the rift had been. “The corridor would never have remained open for travel. None of us could have gone home.” His voice cracked with longing, and I felt sad for him. But not for Phillip. I shoved him off me onto the grass, and he stayed there, slumped, despondent.
“But they—Bing.” I raised my eyebrows, trying to confirm what I thought I knew. “They can…talk to us?”
“Yes.”
A sigh seemed to wave through the clearing. Relief. Satisfaction.
“It seems, Roxie, that in entering the corridor, you enabled them to re-establish contact with us. With…me.” Bing stared wonderingly at his hand. The wrinkles flattened. His face brightened. He was glowing a little. Not like I had when I first came back, but enough to make him seem younger, more vibrant.
“They can communicate with us?”
He stood still, apparently listening. “With me only. They couldn’t establish the connection with you, because you were fusing and therefore incapable of receiving it. Phillip is forbidden, so it was Mr. Resse or me. They chose me.” He said it wonderingly. Even in angel world, the older were to make way for the younger, stronger, more powerful. But Linc had no training, no clue. He wouldn’t know what to do with the connection. Bing did.
I hid my disappointment. It was stupid. I didn’t want that responsibility. But as desperate as I’d been not to go there, not to leave what I had here, I ached with the loss.
Lincoln groaned, and I hurried over to him. He sagged to the ground, pale and sweating. Jordan kept him from falling back onto the grass. Tucker pulled up Linc’s T-shirt, and we all sucked in a simultaneous breath. The wound was straight into him, a couple of inches from his side. He probably had organ damage. Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them back. I had power now. But not all angels had the same abilities. Please, let me be able to heal.
I looked into Linc’s face. “How much damage?” His eyes were unfocused, looking past me. “Linc!” I shook him. His gaze snapped to mine. “How much damage?”
“I don’t know,” he wheezed. “I’m not taking anatomy.”
I managed a smile, since that’s what he’d been going for. “Okay. Try to relax. Focus on the injury. I’m going to see if I’m as good as you.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Go for it.”
I stared at the hole in his skin, at the dark redness filling it up, spilling over, and repeating. For a few moments, I was paralyzed. I had no clue how to do it. Maybe if I was sure I had the ability, I could figure it out. But if I failed…he’d die.
I choked back a sob and steeled myself not to think about that. This was a test. I needed to see what kind of power I had. That’s all. I put my hands over the wound and closed my eyes. Jordan had gasped when Lincoln healed my head, so his fingers probably glowed or something. I imagined the light inside me surging to my hands and lighting them up. On the other side of my eyelids, the night brightened. I hoped I didn’t have to visualize the damage inside. I tried to sense it, and pain seared my side. I gritted my teeth and forced it back. Like compacting it would eliminate it. Linc moaned, and I knew that wasn’t working. No. I forced back a sob, the panic, and man, I thought I’d been panicked before? Take euphoria, make it negative, and multiply by a thousand.
Stop it, Roxie. Now was so not the time to indulge my awakening emotions. Think.
Natural healing occurred from the inside out. Okay. That sounded good. I imagined sending the light into Lincoln’s side, pulling the tissue together, making it whole, and stopping the bleeding. The blood seeping between my fingers seemed to flow less rapidly. Lincoln’s tension eased a little. I opened my eyes, and it was like coming up into the air from being underwater. His skin, and probably muscle, was still sliced open. I took a few deep breaths, let the power build again, and resumed. This time it went faster. I felt the skin draw together under my fingers, and a moment later, it was smooth again.
I dropped back onto my heels. Tucker was staring at me in awe. Jordan was bent over Lincoln, saying something I couldn’t hear. He nodded and moved to sit up. I backed away to give him room, and he smiled at me.
“Wow.”
“You’re okay?” I was afraid the healing was only superficial, that it hadn’t fixed any damage inside that I couldn’t reach. But he nodded and smiled. His hand probed at the spot where the wound had been, pressing deep, and he nodded again.
“Yeah, I think you did it. Thanks.”
“Don’t be stupid.” Youch. The clinical part of my brain cataloged what annoyance felt like. It stung. “You were trying to save me.”
He winced. “I didn’t.”
“Look,” Jordan said. We turned to see what she was staring at.
Bing stood over Phillip. He seemed taller, straighter. “Phillip Porcini, you have violated the terms of your exile.”
Phillip jerked his head up. “No.”
Bing continued. “The enforcement code enables me, a duly sworn officer of the court, to carry out your secondary sentence.”
Phillip struggled up, but only got as far as his knees. “Jeremy. Don’t.”
Linc and I frowned at each other. This didn’t feel right. He nodded slightly. I got up as Bing raised his hand over Phillip’s head, his eyes closed.
“Wait!”
Bing stood still but didn’t look at me. He opened his eyes and waited.
“What’s his secondary sentence?”
“Erasure.”
“No!” I stepped toward Bing but came up against a barrier. He hadn’t moved. Wow. He’d strengthened his powers fast after getting reconnected. I’d stopped my friends’ movement—and how cool was that?—but it had taken physical effort, not just mental concentration.
“Roxie.” Lincoln moved to my side. “He tried to go back. He stole your light, used it for criminal activity, almost killed you as well as almost damaged both worlds. He needs to be punished.”
“But not killed!” I couldn’t be party to that. It surprised me. I’d always considered myself pro death penalty, for the right crimes and criminals. But Phillip hadn’t killed anyone, and he shouldn’t be preemptively punished.
Linc put his hand on my shoulder but didn’t say anything. He was supporting me, even if he didn’t agree.
“Erasure isn’t death,” Bing told us. “It’s a memory wipe.”
Warmth seeped into me from Lincoln’s hand. I was suddenly overwhelmed by all the intimacy. First the kiss, then I’d been inside his gut. Now, a simple hand on my shoulder was too intense. I slid away.
“What kind of wipe?” I asked Bing. “How much memory?”
“He loses his entire angel identity,” he explained gently. “And it’s not for either of you to decide. They have only given me that power.”
I scowled. Lincoln and I weren’t part of that world, and could never be, so they had no dominion over us anymore. I wanted to argue just because of that. But the weight of Phillip’s hatred was stronger, and I thought of my family again. I couldn’t make them vulnerable because I had a bleeding heart.
“Okay, fine. But I can’t watch.”
I turned my back on them and walked over to the others. “What do we do with these guys?” I asked Tucker, whose eyes widened briefly before narrowing on Owen and John, who jerked back.
“We’re fine,” Owen protested, waving his hands in front of him. “This shit is too crazy for us. We’re not telling anybody anything, and we want nothing to do with you. Them,” he corrected hastily, flicking looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “With them.”
John nodded vigorously. Tucker raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged. “Whatever.”
Bing started murmuring behind us, and the urge to get out of there propelled me toward the path. “Let’s go.” Phillip deserved what was about to happen, but I knew no matter how many times I told myself that, if I witnessed it, it would haunt me for the rest of my life.
We hurried back to the car. Jordan blew out a breath and pushed her hair off her face. “Whew. That was intense.” She looked at me, and I went cold. Had it been too intense? Was I going to lose her friendship after all? But then she threw her arms around me and burst into tears.
“It all happened so fast!” she sobbed. “He threw the jar, and I watched it flying toward that big light hole, and then suddenly you were there, and then you weren’t, and it, like, exploded, and…and…you were gone, and I screamed, and Tucker grabbed me like I was going to run after you!” She cried into my shoulder and clutched me tighter. I gave Tucker Help Me! eyes, but he shrugged.
“She went crazy,” he continued the story. “She may deny it, but she was halfway there when I grabbed her.”
Jordan shook her head, but she cried harder into my neck. I hugged her and closed my eyes, letting my gratitude and love wash through me, reveling in the richness of it. Dimension. Texture. I murmured, “You saved me, Jor.”
She pulled back and sniffed. “Really?”
I nodded. “You and Tucker and…and my family.” I felt Lincoln’s eyes on me and tried to ignore the ache in my chest, so much deeper, wider, harder than anything I’d felt before. “I couldn’t leave all of you. I knew when I was in the corridor that I couldn’t ever come back, and leaving you guys was impossible. That’s what allowed me to fight to get back here.”
“Thank God. All I could think was ‘she went into the light.’ It was like you died.” She let go of me and smiled tremulously. “How was it? Did you see the other side?”
I told them about fusing and being squeezed and the pain and knowing what was waiting for me, hearing all those voices. Again, Lincoln’s gaze was as heavy as Phillip’s hatred had been, but I couldn’t look at him. I leaned against Tucker and let him hold me while I talked. I knew the message Linc would get from that and hoped he’d leave it there. I never wanted to hurt him. Would hate it if I lost his friendship, especially after he’d almost died for me. But I loved Tucker and couldn’t hurt or lose him, either. He could never know about Linc’s kiss. I vowed never to mention it to anyone. It had never happened.
I’d just finished describing everything when Bing returned to the clearing. “It’s done.”
I straightened, and squeezed Tucker’s hand when it folded around mine. “What will happen to him now?” I asked Bing.
“He’s unconscious. John and Owen have agreed to take him home. He’ll awaken there and not recall any of us or these events.” He opened the driver’s door. “We should return to my house.”
“Yeah, crap.” Tucker looked at his watch. “We’re supposed to be getting home in, like, nine hours.”
Crap was right. I knew Bing and Lincoln and I had things to talk about. It would take an hour to get back to his house, and our stuff was at the ranch, almost three hours away. Linc and I should try to get on the bus home. Maybe we could bluff our way out of trouble.
We piled into the car, me riding shotgun this time. No one talked until Bing pulled out onto the main road.
“What now?” I asked him. “Do you have to be back there, in the clearing, to stay connected?”
“No, the connection is strong. I can open a conduit any time.”
Weird. “Telepathy?”
“Yes, similar. More like answering a mental telephone or making a call.”
That reminded me. I’d had some telepathy with Lincoln before I fused. Did we still have it?
Lincoln!
You don’t have to shout.
I jerked in shock. His response had been so immediate and easy, as if he’d been waiting for me. He sounded amused, too, and it was amazing that we could think at each other just like talking. It didn’t even feel like snot anymore.
OMG this is weird.
But cool, huh?
Can we do it with anyone else?
I swear, he shrugged. Mentally.
Try it.
Well, there was only one person to try it with. Should I disconnect with Linc, or set up a conference call in my brain? Bing. Nothing. I didn’t know how I’d done it with Linc. Did I have to do something different if Bing wasn’t expecting me? I tried it louder. Bing!
I don’t think he can hear you.
I jumped again, a sharp little movement I hoped no one else was watching to see. Can you hear everything in my head? This wouldn’t be so cool if he could.
No. Just the thoughts you project directly to me or to Bing. But I tried to reach him, too, and he’s not receptive. Maybe because of the link to home.
I didn’t want anyone to know we were doing this, so I didn’t nod. But I imagined myself nodding, and he laughed. In my head. Frea-ky. I realized Bing was talking and tuned in. This was going to take some practice.
“Home does not want to lose track of you two,” he was saying. “They have despaired at our loss, and want me to find the others who were stranded here, or chose to stay. I have a new mission.” His hands clenched purposefully around the steering wheel. “In addition to reconnecting with the remaining fused angels here, I am to, erm, supervise you and Lincoln. They want you to work for them.”
“Really?” I straightened. “As agents again?”
“Not the same.” He shook his head. “Since you can never go home, they don’t want to disrupt your human life. But they believe there will be missions. You can save lives, improve them.”
“What about my original mission?” I asked. “The one I was specifically sent here to do?”
Bing glanced at me, then back to the road. It was too dark to read his expression. “Not yet. There will be time for that. For now, you can simply be Roxie Sebastian, college student.”
I groaned. “Assuming they let me graduate after this weekend.”
Bing smiled and signaled a turn. “Perhaps this is a good time to explore your powers. Surely some of them can contribute to achieving that end.”