I wish I could have seen Ava’s face when she received my latest message. Such a clever bit of kit I got off the internet. I wasn’t sure at first, because it seemed more like a child’s toy. But now I realise if I can talk to Ava as my other self, it adds another dimension to the game. She needs to get a move on, because the girl is becoming weaker. The photographs I took the day after I took her off the hill were sent to Ava’s boss. It is important to ensure she knows I have complete control.
DI Miles is a constant irritation, and I’m wondering if I’m going to have to kill her too. She is pretending to like Ava, I can tell, and the two are forming an alliance. The thought of them giggling in corners reminds me of Ellen. She often said when we were all much younger that she would marry Jesse. How funny that she should have been so wrong. Now they are both dead – star-crossed lovers indeed. How romantic and revolting in equal parts.
My mind keeps flipping back to DI Miles, and Detective Cole; they are both outsiders, but Ava belongs to me.
I am equal to their attempts at interrogation, simply because I have the knowledge that could break the case. In the meantime, I roll the dice quickly, moving my players feverishly around the board. The end is coming, and I feel a fizz of excitement touched with regret. Am I really so scared of dying? I’ve thought about it so many times, but now it is a reality, and the unarguable way to finish things, I find myself still… a little afraid.
There was another girl missing on the hills, and one night, after I checked my own captive, I passed her, wandering around, confused and swearing to herself. It did occur to me to put her out of her misery, but I’m not a greedy person. She was not part of the game, so I let her stumble off, crying a little, her footsteps tentative and unsure.
It seems right that I now have so many of the things I craved as a child – money, and a position, even fame of a sort. I will leave a legacy, and it is something nobody could ever imagine. It will be my gift to everyone who has suffered like I did, and when I die, everyone will remember me.
‘Byddwch yn colli fi, Ava Cole?’
‘Will you miss me, Ava Cole?’