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Two months was a long time to spend only working and going to sleep, but Ollie insisted I not be allowed back into Terraway in my current state: pregnant, father of the baby nowhere around, and newly orphaned. He worked with Finn to take the stone into Dagat, dropping it uneventfully into their main well. Just like that, Ollie brought calm waves, buhay and vitality back to the Merpeople, who were already so happy that their evil King Banak was dead, the whole land practically rolled out the red carpet for Ollie.
My brother had a good many dreamy-eyed stories about Mermaids after that. He trailed off when I knew they hit the PG-13 realm I didn’t need the details of. Ollie was good at talking. I was not.
I went reaping with Mason during the day. We teamed up with Danny and Mariang, who were so in love, I couldn’t help but watch them with fascination as they bloomed for each other. Mariang was simply glowing, and Danny? Well, Danny smiled at least once a day since he’d popped the question, which had to be some kind of record. I knew from the shared bedroom wall that they were going at it like rabbits at night, making up for lost time when Mariang had been too sick and weak to do much of anything other than psychic lovemaking.
Speaking of psychic relationships, Von was still nowhere to be found. I saw him in my dreams at night, which hurt even more than not seeing him at all. He put a vast prairie between us, stretching our perfect park to a distance I couldn’t reach him at if I ran all night long, which I had no intention of doing. I’d taken to napping as soon as we got home midday from reaping, sleeping until Von showed up in my dream at night, at which point, I woke myself up.
No, Von still didn’t know that I’d kept the baby, that the baby was his, or that I was miserable without him. He wanted to be gone, and that was the thing that mattered. He’d found out that I was knocked up, and he ran. The only person I was more upset with than him was myself for still being in love with the guy. He hadn’t just ditched me, he’d ducked out on Terraway. There were still Omen duties to be done, and Von dumped all the responsibility on Mason, assuming he would pick up the slack.
Ollie tried to be a good distraction, but I didn’t have much to say. We’d had Bev cremated. The whole thing happened without ceremony, without debate, and without Allie. My sister remained gone, and while Ollie assumed her dead, I was certain she was very much alive and simply wanted nothing to do with us. The truth is, I couldn’t really blame her, either. We were damaged. Some days it seemed the damage was beyond repair.
Ezra mourned in the traditional sense, wearing black and crying in private. He hovered around Ollie, Mariang and me more than usual as he dealt with losing his fiancée to the Ekeks and Manas she was trying to save.
Kabayo had explained it all to us in as clinical detail as possible. The group had been on the mission to take the sagrado stone to Lumipad, but in the wake of the political upheaval of their queen Sylvia getting shanked, the country shifted violently, making it a dangerous place for travelers passing through. The group moved through Lumipad with Bev fully affected by the stone, devolving back into the woman who’d thrown me away time after time. I understood that the stone poisoned her, but it didn’t make her blatant hatred of me any easier to bear.
They’d made it almost to the well when a swarm of Manas swooped in, tearing Bev apart because they assumed she was me. It should’ve been me. Bev had stolen the stone and went in secret to save me from the danger when she’d been able to think clearly.
Somewhere buried underneath all the poison, my mama loved me, and gave her life up for mine.
I wasn’t sure what to do with that, so I sat by the window in my bedroom at Ezra’s mansion most nights, afraid to go to sleep and face that stupid prairie across the way from Von, who was there but not. When I was alone in my slumber because Von was awake doing whatever he did to avoid life, I had nightmares replaying the attack from the gang of Siyokoys. The wicked Mermen dragged me under the water, molesting me and trying to take me so Finn would have one more loss under his belt.
I stared out the window for hours on end, not sure how my life in the mansion made any sense at all. Every now and then Ezra would sit in a chair next to me, saying nothing, but staying with me through my silent pain. In those quiet moments that knit together over the weeks, I started to trust Ezra with my grief, occasionally answering hard to face questions when he asked. Did I miss Bev? Was I starting to feel anything for the baby growing inside me? Was I sleeping enough?
I wanted the answers to all his questions to be an easy yes, but Ezra stayed with me even when I wasn’t sure. It’s a good man, the one who waits for you to puzzle things out. Ezra never pushed; he simply sat by my side in his spare moments of free time. It’s a good dad, the one who stays with you, even when you know deep down, you’re utterly leave-able.
I was just beginning my second trimester. My stomach started to stick out a modest amount, no longer giving me the space for a healthy dose of denial. I wore baggy sweaters and felt like death warmed over. All the books Danny obsessively quoted at me said morning sickness was supposed to end in the first trimester. All I can tell you is that the books are a lie. A vicious, stupid lie to give pregnant women false hope that maybe tomorrow you won’t barf until it hurts because someone mentioned the word “cracker”.
I did my best to compose myself when Kabayo came to visit that evening. He played it off like it was a work call, but his purpose was only half for business. He requested I be brought in on the meeting he’d scheduled with Ezra, but Ezra excused himself to go see to getting us some tea before the meeting formally started. Kabayo sat across from me at the polished wooden oval table in the conference room. He waited until we were alone before he leaned his elbow on the surface and lowered his voice to speak to me. “I can feel this, you know.”
My shoulders were hunched in and my arms banded around my baggy sweater. “Feel what?”
He displayed his forearm, showing me the same two Xs branded on his arm that matched the scarring on mine. It was our limited psychic link, letting him feel if I was in danger, or any significant shifts in me. He motioned to my closed expression. “This isn’t you. You were funny and willful, if not annoying. You’re sad all day now, and it’s time you started pulling yourself out of it. I can feel it, you know. Even when things are going alright in my kingdom, there’s always that depression that weighs it all down. It’s starting to get irritating.”
My eyebrows crinkled as I lifted my chin to stare at him in surprise. “First off, I didn’t realize you could feel that. Second, I don’t want to hear that my grief is inconvenient for you. My mama just died, my sister’s MIA, I’m nine kinds of knocked up, I’m barfing all the time, I’m down a Reaper, and the father of the baby’s nowhere in sight. I think I’ve earned the right to a little piece of sadness pot pie.”
Oo, pie.
Kabayo jabbed his stubby human finger at me. “If you’d heard the things your mother was saying about you toward the end, you wouldn’t be so sad to see her go. You’re better off. I barely know you, and I can say that for sure.”
“That’s a cracked-out thing to say to me. I know who Bev was both on and off the stone. It warped her. She died to keep me from risking my life, taking the stone to Lumipad.” I tucked a stray auburn curl behind my ear, my shoulders lowering as I exhaled. “I get that she’s hard to love, but I’m pregnant, and I don’t have a mama around to show me what’s what. It’s sad, Kabayo. Just let it all be sad.”
He sighed heavily. “I really hate that you don’t use my title when you address me. Ezra’s my equal, and even he uses our proper titles.”
“Fine. I’ll call you King Kabayo, but you have to call me October, Queen of the Dancing Fairies.”
“There’s no such thing as fairies.”
I quirked my eyebrow at him. “I think you mean there’s no such thing as Tikbalangs, you giant reverse centaur. I’d actually heard of fairies before Terraway. I’d never heard of anything like you before.” I motioned to his black horse head, smirking as he snorted derisively. “You gave up on that awful quick. I think you like that I’m not afraid of you.”
“Kings don’t bargain with children.”
“Whatever you say, Kabayo.”
He grumbled under his breath as Ezra came in with the tea tray, giving me a cup that warmed my hands. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Ezra asked Kabayo. He sat at the head of the table, his hands folded politely over his stomach.
“Something’s off with my people. The rain’s been enough to start to heal our land, which is great. There’ve been almost no deaths, and the suns are finally regulated.”
“This all sounds like wonderful news.” Ezra and I waited for the other shoe to drop. It always did.
Kabayo rubbed the back of his neck, gearing up for the big reveal. “When our land was on the brink of collapse, there was a steady trickle of bodies that died of dehydration or starvation mostly. If the bodies weren’t buried properly, they’d reanimate and head east for Sombi, just like every other country’s unburied dead.” He stared into his tea, not drinking. “My people have stopped dying so often, but the pilgrimages to Sombi haven’t stopped. In fact, I’ve found people who are still very much alive traveling there.”
Ezra frowned. “Well, that’s not too strange. Some go to Sombi to see if their loved ones are still roaming. Mason used to reside there to bury the dead. Now that he’s working Topside, perhaps your people wish to take up his mantle. It’s a noble cause.”
Kabayo shook his head. “That’s what I thought at first, but the Tikbalangs who are going to Sombi are nearly catatonic. They’re unresponsive and focused only on getting to Sombi. My men have tried reasoning with them, but they’re on a mission. They don’t know why, and they can’t converse much. It’s like they’re all touched in the head, but this should be the time we’re getting back on our feet.”
Ezra did not look as confused as I thought he should. “I was afraid you’d come to me with something like this. Prince Langgam’s reported the same problem in his country. It’s not all over, mind you, but in the western territory of Sakuna, the people seem to have a singular focus. They finally have the elements they need to rebuild their land, but they’ve given up in that sector. They’re unable to do anything that isn’t related to the pilgrimage to Sombi. I didn’t know what to make of it, but now that it’s happening in two countries, it’s a definite problem.”
“I’ll make a point to talk with Prince Langgam, then. See what all lines up.”
I spoke up, which neither man expected me to do. “You might get farther with Geon. He’s still locked up in your dungeon awaiting execution, right?”
Kabayo leaned his elbow on his armrest, sitting back in his chair as he eyed me. “But Geon’s been in my prison for months, long before this started happening. What light could he shed on it?”
I tapped my fingertips on the table, aiming my response into my teacup rather than across the table. “Maybe none. But if I had to put my money on it, I’d bet it had something to do with Sama.”
Kabayo’s eyes narrowed as his temper flared. “Sama’s spirit and his army were chased out of our land. I would know if he was there, luring my people away.”
“I remember the battle, dude. I fought it right alongside you. What I mean is that in Lang’s country – you said it’s the western territory that’s migrating, right?”
Ezra’s head bobbed up and down slowly. “That’s correct. What’s the significance of that?”
“They’re the territory that was hit hardest by the famine in Sakuna. They’re the only territory in Sakuna who took Sama’s rations. What about your country? Where did they start taking rations first? And are they still taking them?”
“The fourth district, and of course. Buhay crops don’t grow in full overnight. We’ve still got a long road ahead of us. The rations are supplementing the growing crops, seeing us through. We have a large store of them that’ll last us until well after our buhay shoots grow back, and we’re on our feet again.”
I tried to cross my legs, but couldn’t do it without my mid-sized belly getting in the way. I sat straighter, uncomfortable in the chair. “Don’t you find that strange? I mean, I get why Sama tried to take the rock from me. It would make his rations unnecessary, right? Supply and demand.”
“Well, yes. But it was never our plan to live off of rations forever.”
“But then why doesn’t he go after your stockpile of rations? Hit you where it hurts? It’s like after that big battle on your land, Sama went completely off the radar. Not a peep. Don’t you think that’s weird?”
Kabayo postured. “We defeated his army. We took his muscle, so he has no way to fight us.”
I cocked my head to the side, and I could see Kabayo’s conviction failing him as the reality of my words sunk in. “Really? Are we just going to believe that Sama couldn’t raise a whole other army of undead in a heartbeat? There’s a ton of dead Terraway citizens who haven’t been buried correctly. Mason’s been up here. There’s no one to stop Sama’s spirit from coming into Sombi and raising up what he needs to take back all the rations without a blink.”
“If it’s as easy as you say, then why isn’t Sama doing exactly that?” Ezra asked, not so much challenging me as he was wondering.
“It’s like he wants you to have the rations. Like it plays in his favor for you to keep giving them out. Now you’ve got live zombies making their way to Sombi? Bodies without decay that have no will? Sounds like a fantastic recipe for a new and improved soldier to me. I’d be careful, guys. If it was me, I’d stop the rations first thing.”
“That wouldn’t go over well. We don’t have enough food to sustain us yet.”
“You will soon, if your people keep deserting your country for Sombi. You’ll have plenty of food and no citizens. I don’t know what Sama needs live people for, but it looks like he’s got them in spades now. And anything that Sama needs? My guess is we shouldn’t give it to him, no matter how little we understand about how it all works.”
Kabayo gave a half-hearted snort, as if he wanted to scoff at me, but couldn’t fully dismiss my warning. Ezra’s mouth was hanging open until he put all the pieces in order, snapping to attention. “I’ll make some calls and warn the other heads of state.”
Kabayo stood and rested his fist on the table, shaking out his mane as he stared down at me, hesitant. “If I didn’t think we were equals before, I have no choice now.” He bowed his head to me. “I’ll have the rations boarded up until we get to the bottom of this.”
“That might be a good idea for now. See if it puts a stop to the migrations.” I shot him a sympathetic look, worried about the fallout of cutting off their steady food supply. “For what it’s worth, I hope I’m wrong.”
Kabayo moved around the table to stand next to my chair, extending his hand to me. Our scarred Xs brushed together as he gripped my forearm, forcing me to do the same to him. “Thank you, Queen of the Dancing Fairies.”