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I didn’t know exactly what to make of Von; his mood swings were worse than mine. We’d just been frustrated with each other over breakfast, but when we got into the car to go run his errands, he’d collected himself, presenting me with a kind, thoughtful man who reached across the console to hold my hand. He had on a classical station, which wasn’t at all like him to forsake his random garage bands in favor of string quartets. “This is nice,” I said of the music.
“This website on how to birth the best babies in the world mentioned bathing your home in classical music.”
“Best babies in the world, eh? That’s quite the recipe. A little Mozart, a little baby powder, and out pops a genius? If only other parents knew how easy it was.”
“If only.” He was quiet a moment, and then chuckled softly under his breath. “Parents. You called us parents. Can you picture it? You going to Mummy and Me classes with September. Me smoking a pipe and wearing a cardigan at the dinner table while September tells me all about school. We’ll say things like, ‘make sure to do your homework’ and ‘eat your vegetables.’”
Despite our earlier antagonism and the too many things between us, I let my lips curve into a soft smile. “I can picture all of that except the cardigan part. I may need a visual.”
“You like picturing me in a cardigan?” he asked in a teasing tone.
I cleared my throat at the very Mr. Brady image of perfection. I knew the trappings of my ideal man would look all too good on Von. “So where are we going?”
Von squeezed my fingers as he turned off the freeway and onto a side street. “You’re blushing. If I’d known you had a cardigan fetish, I would’ve bought one long ago. That’s a new one, for certain.”
“Oh, shut up. Where are we going?”
“To the nearest store that sells clothing for the elderly. Can’t allow this heat I’ve roused in you to go to waste.”
“Mr. Brady wasn’t elderly. He was handsome, responsible and kind. And it’s not a fetish. Jeez.”
Von’s eyes widened. “Oh, my. I had no idea how deep this Brady Bunch thing went with you. You’re one sick kitten.” He turned down a side street and pulled up to a small square house that looked like it had probably two bedrooms at most. He cut the engine and turned in his seat to me. “So I’m back now, and I’m trying to do things differently. Ezra had a terrifying little chat with me. He’s got a temper, that one. He convinced me it’s high time I started looking towards the future. I never really pictured one for myself because I thought I’d lose my mind and turn full-vamp by now. But I’m still me, and I’m only getting better at controlling my thirst. Your kiss broke a fair amount of my bloodlust curse. I barely want to tear open your veins at all now.”
I skated over the gore. “You really are doing a good job, Von.”
“Thank you, love.” He cleared his throat to continue on with the speech I could tell he’d rehearsed. “Ezra and I made a list of all the things I used to want before my stint in Dagat, and before I was bitten. It’s time I started pursuing those things, instead of throwing it all away because I don’t think my life will last long enough to get them.”
My lips pursed, unsure of what to say at the very grownup thing Von had done. “Okay. I like everything about that. So, what’s on that list?”
“I always wanted a child, and now that we’re going to have one, I don’t want to muck it up. I don’t know why I tried to keep my life with you separate from Penny, but I know I can’t if this is happening.” He motioned to my belly. “It’s her spring break from school, and Angela asked if I’d play with Penny for the morning while she goes to work. I want her to meet you, to know her... sister? Cousin? I want her to know September. I don’t want two separate lives. I want you in all of it.”
My mouth dropped open, confused and flummoxed that Von was giving me the golden keys to his life with no hesitation. I hadn’t pushed. I hadn’t even asked. I knew Von wanted his personal life separate. I understood. If I’d had the option of keeping Terraway out of my home, I would’ve jumped on that chance. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll meet Penny.”
“I mean, of course I’m happy to meet your daughter. I just thought you wanted me out of that part of your life. You guard it kinda tight. Not that I blame you. Kids shouldn’t be near Terraway. I’m just surprised, is all.”
“I told you, I’m in this. Ezra made me see that it wasn’t fair to ask you to wait for me if I’m not willing to do the same. So I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to see that we should be together. I’ll be more patient. In the meantime, I want you in my life.”
Another jaw-dropper. “Wow. Um, are you sure? I mean, I don’t even know any kids. What if she hates me? I’m the woman taking her dad away.”
Von’s grin couldn’t be contained – and as I’d learned by now, Von couldn’t be contained – not by my expectations, not by my distance, and not by my inhibitions. Von was a force of nature, and I was merely holding on for the ride. He unbuckled my seatbelt, leaned over the console and cupped my face. He placed tender kisses on both my cheeks just to draw out my blush. “Don’t worry, she doesn’t know you’ll soon be her stepmum. I’ve only told her she’d be meeting my special friend.”
“What?!” I screeched, shaking my head. “Oh, no. No, no. I’m not a mama. I mean, you have to be a real adult to be a mama. I’m only twenty-three! What do I know about kids?”
Von raised an eyebrow at me and looked down pointedly at my stomach. “Hello, you’re going to be a mum in another couple of months. And Penny’s not living with us or anything. Think of her as your niece.”
Panic gripped around the throat. I’d gotten better at handling the anxiety when it dawned on me that a baby was coming, but every now and then, the fear strangled me afresh. “I’m not ready to be a mama! I can’t do this!”
Von’s eyes widened, taking in the scope of what Mason had grown used to over the last few months. He leaned toward me and kissed both my cheeks, as if that might infuse me with calm. “The baby’s not coming today. Today, it’s me and you.” He kissed my nose. “Don’t you know, Peach? Together, we can handle anything.” He brushed his nose across mine, his cinnamon breath making me dizzy for him. “You are strong and capable. You’ll make a brilliant mum, when the time comes. Until that day, I’m here. You’re not alone. We’re in this together.”
I gulped and finally nodded. “Okay. But don’t let me do anything to screw this up. Don’t let me say anything stupid. Oh, what if I accidentally swear in front of her?”
Von caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. “Then you won’t have done anything I haven’t.” He paused and then pulled his face back an inch to look at mine. “Wait, you said you’re twenty-three. That’s not right. You’re only twenty-two.”
“I turned twenty-three in October.”
All color drained from Von’s face. “Truly? I missed your birthday? I’ve been going on and on about mine, and I was gone for yours? Oh, Ezra was spot on; I should never have left you.” He leaned over the steering wheel, resting his forehead on the top, utterly morose. “You were pregnant and alone on your birthday?”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s just another day.”
“No, it’s not. You should punish me far worse than this for that. Tell me Mason took you out at least.”
“Why would he do that? He didn’t know about it.”
“Well, when was it? I’ll set an alarm on my phone right now so I don’t muck it up next year.”
“‘Muck it up?’ Save the barnyard language for another day. There’s a child in that house,” I teased. When Von was not deterred from his angst, I sat back in my seat. “I don’t celebrate my birthday. I’m twenty-three now, and that’s the end of it. I don’t need you to know the day.”
Von’s nose scrunched. “You don’t have to be evasive. I didn’t know, and I promise to make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up to me. We don’t celebrate birthdays in our house. I’d just as soon forget the day I showed up and ruined Bev’s life.”
Von grabbed his chest like I’d shot him through the heart. “Why would you say that?”
“Are you serious? From October first to the thirty-first, Bev was mostly drunk and telling all three of us that her life ended when I came along. She doesn’t actually remember which day was my birthday, so I got the whole month. I’m the reason my dad left her. I’m the reason there isn’t food in the house. I’m the reason she’s miserable. I’m the reason there’s global warming. Blah, blah, blah.” I shuddered, recalling a particularly bad beating I’d gotten when I’d asked for a birthday cake to take to school in kindergarten. All I wanted was a cake like I’d seen in commercials, kids gathered around and smiling at the birthday girl who got presents just for being alive. I mean, just for stinking being alive. “Ollie and Allie got it bad on their actual birthdays, which Bev remembered. Since she forgot the date of mine, I got the whole month.”
“I probably shouldn’t say that I despise that foul woman.”
“It’s fine. Birthdays just aren’t really my thing.”
Von was overcome with a determination that turned his whole body tense and serious. He separated my left hand from the clawing it was doing to my right, and moved our palms to my belly. He spoke to me in a voice that had the edge of a vow to it. “September’s going to love her birthday. She’s going to get presents and pony rides and cake and streamers every year, even after she’s too old to care about them. We’re going to celebrate our girl every year, and every day.” He looked deep into my eyes with so much earnest passion, I held my breath. “We’re going to do everything possible to give our daughter a good life. No more fathers running out. No more mums who can’t handle their life. It ends with us.” He nodded once to punctuate his pledge, and when I finally closed my jaw, I nodded too.
“I like that, Von.”
“Good. I’ll not negotiate on the ponies.”