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After dinner and speeches and greetings of many kinds, with both old friends I didn’t remember and royal acquaintances I was glad I didn’t remember, I stood by the gift table, inspecting the packaging. People here spent up big, if the wrapping was any indication. It seemed each guest had attempted to best the other, but nothing was going to beat my gift. I even considered telling Elora about her new little brother or sister, but I just didn’t want her to have the same sort of reaction David had. Only a day had passed, but already the cells within my body were changing. It was too soon to even call it a fetus, let alone a baby, but with all my heart that was still how I saw it. I couldn’t wait until the day I would be able to feel it move, feel its soul, its gender.

“What are you doing standing over here alone?” Jason asked, suddenly behind me, motionless, as if he’d been there a while.

I turned fully, making a conscious effort to lower my hands from my belly. “I guess I was wondering what’s next for Elora.”

“In what sense?”

“For the last year-and-a-half, her life has been about me, in so many ways. She was waiting for me to come back, waiting for me to remember her, then she was waiting to get married. Now it’s done, I suppose I’m excited for her that she can just get on with her life.”

Jason smiled, his eyes shrinking, showing his age. He had a warmer smile than David, as though his heart hadn’t been quite as tainted by life. “And what about you?” He moved over and leaned on the gift table. “What are your plans now?”

“Finish school. I’ve only got a few weeks left, and then…” I bumped my shoulders up passively. “I think maybe I’ll find a way to break my curse.”

Jason choked on his drink, shaking off his hands where it splashed all over them. “Who told you?”

“You mean you didn’t read it?” I tapped my head.

He shook his. “I’ve mastered staying out of people’s thoughts now, Ara. I only enter when it’s intentional.”

“You should start working with Harry then,” I said.

“I already am.” He smiled warmly. “So, the curse? Who told you about it?”

“Why? Are you mad?”

“I’m not mad. I’m shocked.”

“Why?”

“I thought they’d take that to their grave.”

“They?”

“David and Mike. And Falcon.”

“So Mike knows about the curse too?”

“Ara”—he looked at me with narrowed eyes—“Mike’s under your curse. He has been since he was still human.”

All the air drained out of the room. I didn’t realize Mike was caught up too.

“We once thought only humans were susceptible, but it’s since been proven that Lilithians are just as much at risk, and Mike has been through hell because of it—almost lost his marriage.”

“Why?”

“Because as much as he tried to fight his feelings for you, they have been and will always be there.”

“Then that’s even more of a reason why I have to break this curse.”

“There is no way to break it.”

“How do you know? Have you ever tried?”

“Well… no… but…”

“Well, then there’s no reason why there shouldn’t be a way to break it, don’t you think?”

“Ara.” He put his drink down and slid closer to me, leaning in slightly as if to make a private bubble. “That curse was placed on your grandmother Lilith, some say by angels, some—”

“I know. Brett told me. And I don’t think it matters. A curse, from what I know, is deliberate. And if something was done intentionally, it can be undone.”

“Not all spells or curses can be undone. Some have to outlive their maker, or the time set upon it.”

“Well, I figure I can at least look into it.” I glanced over at David, who looked happier than I’d ever seen him, and maybe a little bit drunk. “Imagine his life, Mike’s life, even Brett’s, if they weren’t under my curse.”

“And Elora’s,” he said, looking across the room at my daughter.

“What does she have to do with it?”

“Same thing Lily does, and Beth. You’re all the blood of the Original Lilith.”

My mouth gaped. I shut it quickly before a fly could get in. “I didn’t know that.”

He nodded, sliding sideways to pick up his drink and then sliding back, standing comfortably beside me with one arm crossed over his waist, propping his glass-holding hand on it. “So did you finding out about the curse have anything to do with the state of my brother’s hand?”

I smiled at his cheeky smile. “He punched Brett in the face after I kissed him.”

“Kissed who?”

“Brett.”

“What!”

“Shhh.” I pressed my finger to my lips. “I don’t really want everyone knowing I’m a terrible whore.”

“You’re not a whore, Ara,” he said sweetly.

“Says the guy that had sex with me while I was married. I think you’re a little biased.”

At first, he seemed shocked, then his face cracked and he laughed in the back of his throat. “Good to see you have a sense of humor.”

“I kind of have to,” I said. “There’s so much fucked up shit going on in this world, if I don’t make the odd joke about it, I’ll take myself too seriously and jump off a lighthouse again.”

“Hm. Yes. Don’t do that.”

“I wasn’t planning to. Besides, do you see any lighthouses around here?”

“Why do you think they all moved here?” he joked, winking at me.

“I did want to run, you know? After I made that mistake today.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He nodded softly. “It’s in your nature. Not because you run from your problems but because you naturally panic—you don’t know how to deal with them, how to come back from them. It’s like you think no one will want you if you make a mistake.”

Wow. He hit so close to home I almost cried.

“But we’re your family, Ara. And it’ll take time, but pretty soon, as you did before, you’ll learn that we love you no matter what—that every mistake can be fixed, and that an apology will always mean something.”

I cocked my head, a smile stuck on my face where words wouldn’t come. What could I say to that? It was probably one of the sweetest things anyone had said to me, aside from David. I could see it was just in these boys’ nature to be incredibly sweet, and I was glad now that I hadn’t kidnapped Harry and run away from David when I thought he was evil. I mean, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have made it very far before they hunted me down anyway. Scary thought.

“So where will you start?”

“Huh?” I looked up from my world of free thought.

“The curse. Where will you begin?”

“Um…” I had no idea, but as I thought about it, I heard Ali’s voice—well, her screeching laughter—rise over the noise of the room, and I had an idea. “Ali might know something, being that she’s your best practiced witch. And if she doesn’t, she might know where to look.”

Jason nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Of course, failing that, you could just ask Lilith.”

“Lilith?”

“Mm.” He nodded, sipping his drink. “She returns to the forests around Loslilian every so often to check on the tree.”

“The tree?”

“The Tree of Life—the one you awakened.”

“Me?”

“Yep.” He smiled. “Anyway, she might know how to help you. Although, if she did, she probably would’ve broken the curse herself, but it’s worth a shot.”

“So I should come to Loslilian?”

“You should anyway,” he said. “You need to see it.”

“Okay, I’ll plan it for when school finishes for the year.”

“Which is when?”

“Early December.”

“Okay.” He looked over at Lily when she called him. “And if you plan on asking Lily about Morgana, by the way, you might want to do it soon.”

“How did you know—”

“Drake mentioned it. He wondered if you’d had the chance yet.”

“What do you think she’ll say?”

“I think she’ll say no. I know your argument is that Morgana’s suffered enough—same argument as Drake. But Lily isn’t just punishing her for what she did to you and David. She’s punishing her because she betrayed family, and because she ki—” He stopped dead on that last word. “Never mind that last bit. Forget I said anything.”

“No. What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” He backed away. “If you want to know more, you have to ask David.”

I watched him walk off, watched him press his lips to Lily’s hair, whispering something that made her look over at me with worry in her eyes. David was holding another dark secret, and drunk or not, it was time he spilled the beans.

“Arrrraaaaa!” He threw his arms up and wrapped them around my waist, pulling me onto his lap at the table. Elora laughed, going pink in the cheeks as she muttered something about her father being very drunk.

“This guy keeps feeding him shots,” Quaid added, backhanding Eric.

“Yeah, he’s only human,” Elora reminded him. “He’ll end up in hospital if you don’t stop it.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” David said in a very stern, controlled voice. And he was. He may have been loud, and his personality grew three times the size of his body when he was drinking, but he was still upright and his eyes were clear and focused. “Now, what brings my beautiful wife to the table with such a solemn look on her face?”

I wedged my thumb in between his arms and my belly as he squeezed me way too tight. “I—”

“Dad,” Elora said, “I think you’re making her uncomfortable.”

David just laughed, pulling the chair beside us out with his foot and planting me on it. “I think it’s time to tell them, Ar.”

“Ar?” Elora scoffed. “Since when do you ever call Mom that? Like, ever in my entire life?”

We both smiled at them, and they read the grins on our faces to be exactly what they were.

“Oh my God!” Elora screamed, jumping to her feet.

To my total shame and mortification, everyone in the room stopped talking and laughing, and even the music seemed to have stopped so they could all gawk at us. She ran around the table, falling to her knees between us, crying into our shoulders.

“You’re really back together?”

“Yeah,” I said, kissing her stiff, hair-sprayed hair.

She sniffled loudly as she drew back, her mascara running around the base of her lashes. “So you were just messing with me this morning?”

I laughed. “Yeah.”

“Aw, Mom. I didn’t realize you had such an evil streak.”

David laughed louder. “She’s not as innocent as she looks.”

Elora looked at her dad then back at me, her face soft with a pout. “You guys…”

“I know.” I thumbed her chin.

“This is honestly the best thing anyone could’ve given me today.”

As those words hit David, I saw his mind map out his next sentence, something like: “Nope. The best news is that you’re going to be a big sister again.” But I stopped him, standing up quickly.

“I think the band should get back on now.” I gave David a ‘look’. “I feel like dancing.”

“Agreed!” Elora jumped up, taking my hand. “Come on, we’ll grab Lily too.”

As she dragged me away, I turned back and mouthed to David, “We need to talk.”

His brows pulled together, eyes all serious, and even though I was a bit pissed that he was keeping something else from me, I couldn’t help but think he looked remarkably cute when he had that face on. Serious David suited him better than boyish David. Whereas the boyish grin suited Jason more, and yet they had the same face.

Elora tugged me along, and my mind mapped out where we’d stop on the dance floor and wait until the band got back on stage, even planned out a few dance moves, but it all stopped short when David grabbed my arm and yanked me back. “Ara.”

“What?” I said, catching the breath that escaped me in surprise.

Elora took in her dad’s eyes and his general posture and said, “I’ll wait for you on the dance floor, Mom.”

“Okay.” I nodded, looking then to David. “What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you let me tell her? Has something happened to the baby? Do you feel any pain? Was it—”

“No. Nothing’s happened, it’s fine,” I sung, placing my hand on his chest. His heart was racing a million miles, his voice shaky, eyes wet. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I…” He let go of my arm. “Nothing. I was just worried.”

“Well, it’s okay. Almost-baby is fine. We’re fine. I just didn’t want to tell anyone yet.”

“Almost-baby?” he said with a smirk.

“He or she is just a sac of cells right now—a flicker of life. It doesn’t really feel right to say ‘baby’ yet.”

“It’s not a sac of cells, Ara!” he said firmly, backing down then as the facts of life kicked in. “Okay, maybe it is by definition, but I see it as a baby now because it will be a baby very soon, and I don’t care what anyone says—this twelve-week bullshit. If it’s life now and it will be life, no one has the right—”

“Whoa! David, are you going all pro-life on me here? It’s not like I’m planning an abortion.”

“I know.” He rubbed his face, hiding a smile. “I’m sorry. And I’m actually not against that, I just… It’s just a sensitive topic for me.”

I looked into his eyes, deeper than the surface, searching for that thing that was resting right there on the brink of coming out. “Why?”

“It just is. And why didn’t you want to tell anyone yet? Is it because you don’t see it as a baby?”

“No. That’s not it at all. I agree with you. It is life; it will be a child one day. But it’s more that I didn’t want anyone to judge me like you did.”

His shoulders dropped. “Then why did you say we needed to talk—why did you look so serious?”

I smiled. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. It’s not that big a deal. I just wanted to talk about not telling people until maybe they’ve had a chance to see the more grown-up version of me for a while.”

I could see he felt silly for overreacting. “Then, in that case, you better kiss me, because our daughter looks worried.”

Without glancing back to see her worried face, I rolled onto my toes and leaned into my husband, squealing as he crossed his wrists under my bum and lifted me up to kiss him.

“That’s enough of that, you two,” Mike said playfully, slapping David’s back. “We’ve got fans waiting.”

David looked over my shoulder at the gathering crowd, all anxious to see their past king and the new king play another set. He glanced down at his hand then. Ali had fixed the flesh using magic, but I could tell the bone hurt. It wasn’t broken, according to Jason, but it was definitely sore. “Got a song request?” he said to me.

“Something really fun to dance to.”

He smiled. “Okay, I got a good one.”

I turned to watch him jump up on stage, my lady parts warming at the sight of it. I liked David on stage. I liked David with a guitar. I liked him even more in front of a piano. In fact, as Mike took a seat at the piano, I decided I quite liked him at the piano too, and it reminded me of what Jason said—that Mike was under my curse. No matter what we had done in life—sat and talked, mucked around, cooked meals together—it had always been something more to him than it was to me. And it broke my heart. Not just for him being trapped in love with someone that would never love him back, but for Em, who was just about to give birth to their next child. What must it feel like to know your husband loves you enough to stay with you even though he will never give you his whole heart?

When the song started, I recognized it right away. An old song. I couldn’t remember the title, but I think it was something like ‘Twist and’… ‘Shout’! That was it. ‘Twist and Shout’. I wanted to start dancing, but my attention was on Emily. I felt like apologizing for having cursed blood. I felt like something needed to be said. But I decided instead that something needed to be done. I was resolved then to finish school in December and go straight to Loslilian to meet Lilith. This curse had to be broken, for the sake of us all.

The night was winding down. It had that feel of exhaustion lingering over the top of excitement, people reaching the point where they were still celebrating but were ready to go home. As Lors and Eric prepared themselves for the final walk of goodbye, which was to be done in a circle—a farewell circle, I was told—I sat at the table waiting until we were called to form said circle. I’d managed to, surprisingly, get a good few moments alone too, which gave me plenty of time to think. There were so many thoughts to collect—how I felt about my daughter getting married; how I felt about having a daughter; Jason, and so many thoughts to go along with him; David, and his reaction to me kissing Brett today; the fact that he had been more worried about me leaving than he was about the kiss; what that kiss meant to me, and if I hated myself for it, or if I was willing to see it as a hard-learned lesson—so many things. But I hadn’t spent much time thinking about my father, or Morgana, or even the curse that needed to be broken, which is why, when a bold voice said my name, a thousand thoughts suddenly rushed to the front of my head; a wave of dread weighing me down because I hadn’t yet spoken to Lily about Morgana.

“My sister tells me you’ve not come to her yet and, as my calendar would have it”—he looked at his watch—“my daughter is due for another round of torture tomorrow.”

“Jason thinks Lily will say no.”

“Not if you ask her.”

“Well”—I sat forward a little, glancing back to see if they were any closer to calling the circle of farewell—“he also seems to think there’s some other reason she should be punished.”

“And what, pray tell, might that be?” He sounded really irritated.

“Look, if you’re the all-powerful king of vampires, why don’t you just step in and take Morgana?”

“Because that would start a war,” he said. “One cannot simply go against a monarch, disregard our treaty because he feels he’s been wronged. My people would not have it, and neither would yours. There must be trust among us, or there will only be chaos.”

I huffed to myself. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Drake. If Jason doesn’t think Lily will—”

“Jason is not Lily. You must ask her yourself.”

You must ask her yourself, I repeated in my head, using his odd intonation. I found it weird that his nineteenth-century kind of voice didn’t sound out of place here. He looked like a regular and somewhat stunning guy from this century, and yet he sounded like he should have a role in a ‘Game of Thrones’ episode.

“I’ll ask tomorrow.”

“While my daughter is being tortured?”

My eyes went to his watch. “What date is she booked in for this horrific act?”

“The seventh. What does it matter?”

“Because we’re in Australia, Drake. It’s not the seventh in America tomorrow. It’s the sixth—a day behind, remember?”

He clearly felt a little silly then. “I forgot about that.”

“So you see? It’s okay. I can talk to Lily tomorrow and, if it really means that much to you, I won’t ask her. I’ll tell her.”

He smiled, a knowing smile that suggested my plan would go awry. “Good luck with that. You are twin souls, Amara, which means you are alike in more ways than one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as he stood up and walked away. He didn’t bother to answer, and I didn’t bother to push. The M.C. called us to the circle then and my heart grew three times larger, realizing, with a sudden sense of heartbreak, how close I was to saying goodbye to my daughter for the next six weeks.

Confetti rained in the sky above the hot red convertible as one of my oldest friends drove away with my daughter by his side. I thought I’d feel sad and maybe even nostalgic, but I was actually relieved at this point that the night was over. David and I had a lot to deal with, a lot to talk about, and I needed to spend some time discussing things with Lily too. I was once running the monarchy, and only my death had stopped me, but that did not mean I was no longer fit for the job. So, I mean, yeah, I didn’t remember who I was. Big deal. That shouldn’t mean I have my position stripped away from me. Okay, and yes Lily was the rightful queen, the first queen, but if she couldn’t do this job with as compassionate a heart as I’d been told I did, then she would be forced to step aside. I needed to get to the bottom of why she would put her own family—a girl whose mother she pretended to be for a very long time—through such horrific torture. No matter what Morgana had done to me, Lily was her family; how could she be so adamant about punishing her?

“How do you feel?” David asked in his deep, milky voice.

I looked up as the car vanished into the night, my tired eyes taking in only the bright lights behind his shadowed face. “Honestly, I just want to go to bed.”

“Come on then.” He reached down and picked up my hand. “Harry fell asleep on a chair about an hour ago. We’ll use him as an excuse to leave.”

“Why do we need an excuse?”

“I’m in the band.” He jerked his head to the ballroom inside, where everyone else was headed. “Everyone’s expecting to drag this out until one.”

I checked my watch. It was still early, only ten-thirty, but after an early start and an emotional day, it felt later. “Who will play lead?”

He shrugged. “Who cares? Between us, we have enough musicians in the room. They’ll be fine.”

My ears pricked then, tuning in to the sweet voice and the gentle strum of an acoustic guitar on stage. He sounded different to David, as if maybe I expected them to sound the same because they were twins, his voice softer and more timid, but in a very mature and sexy way.

“You always did love my brother’s voice when he sung,” David said.

With a bit of effort, I brought my ears back to this moment. “I hope all this talent in your blood gets passed on to all of our children.”

His eyes went to my belly. “I just had a thought.”

“Which is?”

“This baby”—he took both my hands and drew me closer—“it’ll be the first half-human baby in our family.”

“It will, won’t it?” My eyes widened. “I wonder what it’ll be like.”

“More like you, I’d say—probably Lilithian, with the change not occurring until late twenties or with the help of blood.”

“What’s Harry?” I asked. “I never even asked if he drinks blood?”

David shook his head. “He’s never needed it. We’ll let him try all three kinds of blood when he’s twenty-five or so, and see what happens.”

“And what if he doesn’t turn?”

“Then we turn him vampire the way humans are turned.”

“And what if that doesn’t work—like with half-bloods?”

He pressed his hand to my upper arm. “Let’s not think about that for now, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, but my heart felt heavy with worry. This new baby would be half-Lilithian, half-human. It wouldn’t be anything like what I was. My pureblood father was vampire, and with a human mate, a Lilithian was born. There was no saying that Lilithian and human would create Lilithian. If I were Vampire having a child with a human, it would be a half-blood and, in that case, it would not be capable of the change. And it would not be immortal.

“Stop worrying,” he demanded sweetly. “And let’s go home. I thought I’d lost you today. I need to spend all night making love to you.”

I had to smile at that. “That sounds nice.” My eyes followed Lily as she left a group of laughing women and headed toward the steps. “After I speak with Lily.”

David stayed put as I ran to catch up with her. What needed to be said had to be done out here, away from other people. If she refused my request, she would be very firmly put in her place and, out of respect, I didn’t want to do that in front of her loyal subjects.

“Lily.”

“Yes, my darling?” She turned to face me, her friendly smile giving me second thoughts.

“We need to discuss Morgana.”

“Yes.” The smile became an expectant one.

“You already know what I’m going to say.”

“Yes.” She took a step down to my level. “But I wonder why you would feel that way after what she did to you, and I also wonder if you have discussed this request with your husband.” Her gaze moved to include David in the conversation. He wandered over slowly, eyes fixing mine in place.

“What’s she talking about, Ara?”

“Drake wants Morgana set free—”

“No!” David said firmly. “Out of the question.”

“She can remain in prison,” I said. “But without the torture.”

“Ara, why?” He grabbed both my shoulders. “After everything she did to us—”

“Because after everything you did to her, David, I think she’s suffered enough now.”

“I—” He looked at Lily then at me, shaking his head. “How can you say that?”

“David, please remember, Ara doesn’t understand what you both suffered—”

“Then she needs to see it to understand!”

“You would truly make her relive that just to prevent her from helping Morgana?”

“Yes!” He cupped my head and brought his closer. “Look into my mind, Ara. You need to see; you need to understand what you’re asking of us.”

“Not here.” Lily put her hand on David’s forearm, pushing him away from my head. “She will be overcome with emotion.”

“No I won’t.” I backed away from David. “Because I won’t be looking at that memory. I don’t need to. It was horrid, but what he did to her was too. This isn’t fair, Lily. How can you not see that?”

“How can you advocate for her?” David said. “She cut pieces out of us. She killed you, Ara—”

“And you shoved knives into her orifices, David!” I reminded him. “She deserves to be locked up, for good. But not tortured.”

David sighed impatiently and Lily just smiled, closing her eyes slowly before opening them again. “You have a kind heart, my darling girl, but Morgana’s punishment stands.”

“I will fight you on this,” I said as she turned away.

“And you will lose.”

“Grrr!” My teeth ground together so hard I felt one chip. I hated her right then. She could be so infuriating!

“Ara, don’t.” David’s hand shot out to grab my arm. “She is your Queen. You must not forget that.”

“She’s being unfair.”

“She’s doing what she thinks is right, and it is your duty to follow her command.”

“The hell it is.”

“It is!” he said firmly. “Because you are no longer Queen, and I know that’s hard for you. You may not remember being the queen, but you clearly still hold some passion for the job, and yet you hold no respect for it. For Lily. For the fact that she is your sovereign.”

“You’re only saying that because you agree with her.”

“Yes. I do. But if you put that aside, you have no right to question her.”

“I have every right! She took my position, David. I didn’t give it to her—”

“And you took hers. You took her soul, and she gave you life by offering half of it. Don’t piss her off, Ara.”

“Or what? Is she gonna take the soul back?”

“I don’t know.” He held my gaze, both hands on my arms, clammy and wet with stress. “But I love you too much to watch you make a mistake like this over Morgana—”

“I promised him, David,” I said, my voice cracking. “I promised Drake I’d help her.”

“So that’s what this is about.” He looked off at nothing for a second, sighing. After a moment, he pulled me in to his chest and held on tight, kissing my head. “You’re trying to win him over.”

It hadn’t occurred to me until he put it into words that I had actually been trying to win his love. He despises me because I walked away looking like the victim. He stayed behind to care for the woman that hurt me. And yet I wanted him to love me, be as dedicated to me as he was to her.

“A lot’s happened today,” David said softly. “You’re tired. I’m drunk. We need to go home, sleep this off, and we can talk about it all tomorrow with a clear head. If you put your argument forward and you can convince me you’re right, I’ll help you convince Lily.”

“Really?” I rolled my face up to look at him.

He smiled down at me. “Sweetheart, I love you. If ending Morgana’s torture matters so much to you that you’re willing to risk pissing off our queen, I’ll help you. But you need to think long and hard about whether you really do agree this is right, or if you’re only doing it to make Drake love you.”

“Okay then.” I nodded. “I’ll sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

I woke in a cold sweat.

He raped me. My vagina had been cut open and I was raped by my own husband, but I didn’t remember it. I hadn’t even dreamed about it. But it did occur to me, as thoughts of it all ambled throughout my dreams, defragmenting inside my brain, that Morgana was being raped over and over again.

She tortured David and I for what happened to her last time. If she was ever freed, what would she do to seek revenge this time?

I knew it then as deep as I knew my core values: she could never be freed. She could never be trusted, but I would not lie in my bed and sleep peacefully ever again knowing my own sister, evil as she was, was being raped repeatedly.

David didn’t stir as I threw the covers back and hopped out of his bed. He was still fully clothed, his tie hanging loose from his neck, laying in exactly the same position I’d found him when I came out of the bathroom before we went to bed. I’d been a little disappointed that we weren’t ending this night making love, but after laying beside him, I’d fallen asleep within seconds. And now there would be no sleep for me again, which means Lily wouldn’t sleep either. Besides, Brett hadn’t looked at me all night. Before I woke Lily to discuss Morgana’s options, I needed to hug him and tell him it was all okay.

It was cold outside for November. By the time I reached the corner where mine and Brett’s house stood proudly overlooking the street, my fingers were stiff and Mike’s garden boots were giving me blisters. No one was awake inside, obviously, so it shocked me out of my own skin when Brett suddenly appeared as I pushed the door open.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered.

“I needed to talk to Lily—”

“She’s asleep.”

“I know. I will be waking her.”

“Why?”

I took his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. “I want her to end Morgana’s torture.”

Brett didn’t react the way I expected him to. He didn’t argue or laugh condescendingly at me. He just smiled and sat down at the counter. “I knew this would eventually happen.”

“Do you agree with me?”

“In ways, no. And in other ways, yes. But you don’t have the full story, and I think, if you did, you might not be seeking her a lesser punishment.”

“What’s the full story then?” I sat down beside him, closing my fingers together under my chin.

“It’s not my place.” He put both hands up. “David will never forgive me if I say anything.”

“You kissed me, Brett, and he saw it. It’s not likely he’s ever going to be friends with you again anyway.”

“Argh!” He hid his face behind his hands. “I’d almost forgotten about that.”

I laughed, pulling his hands down. “Don’t stress it, okay? I understand. I mean, if David beat me because of the curse then…” I paused at the look of horror that crossed his face.

“He did what?”

“Um…” Shit. “He… he just… the curse got the better of him one day and he… he kinda tried to beat the ‘old’ Ara out of me.”

Brett was speechless, and very clearly angrier than he’d ever been in his life. “So that’s what you meant—on the stairs today, when you asked him about the surge?”

“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? It’s in the past—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounded hurt. “Why would you keep something like that from me?”

“Because you’re immortal. And David’s not.”

“And you knew I’d kill him?”

I nodded.

He reached over and took my hand, closing his eyes tight. “I’m so sorry, Ara.”

“I’m okay.”

“I know you are. You’re strong. You always have been, but you should have told me about that.” He leaned closer and touched my face. “You must have needed me then and I wasn’t able to be there for you.”

I brought his hand down to the countertop. “I did need you. But knowing you’d kill him if I told you made me feel better.”

He laughed. “And… do you forgive me for kissing you today—well, for trying to make you leave David and run away with me?”

“Of course I do.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, smiling to myself. “I love you, Brett. Nothing will ever change that, and I’m going to do everything in my power to end this curse—”

“End it?”

“Mm-hm.” I nodded, sitting up. “I’m making it my life’s mission to break it.”

“Ara, that’s not possible.”

“So you all keep saying. But I don’t believe that. If it’s possible to curse someone, it is possible to uncurse them.”

Brett laughed, the long dimples arching around his mouth. “Is uncurse even a word?”

“You tell me.” I shrugged. “I’m still learning to talk.”

He laughed, but his eyes became distant, obviously going over the journey we’d been on to get here.

“I could have run away with you, you know,” I said, waiting until he looked at me before speaking again. “If I wasn’t so in love with David, I could easily love you.”

“I appreciate that, Ara.” He spoke to the table. “More than you know.”

I smiled and hopped down off the stool. “And by the way, you’re actually a really good kisser.”

Brett laughed. “I know. Elora told me the same thing.”

“Wow. Poor taste, Brett,” I joked, leaving him behind as I headed up the stairs to the spare room—where Lily and Jason were sleeping. I hadn’t planned yet what I was going to say, but all I had to do was think about how I felt when I woke up just now, and the argument was completely straight in my head.

As I reached the door, I heard Lily talking to Beth, feeling relieved that she was actually awake. She called me to enter before my fist raised to rap on the door. It creaked a bit as I opened it, and Jason stirred in his sleep, rolling over and reaching out a blind hand for Lily.

“You’re here to discuss Morgana,” she whispered.

I nodded, a little intimidated.

She tied her dressing-gown belt around her waist and gently stroked the baby’s hair before walking away from the cradle. “Nothing you say will make me change my mind.”

“She’s being raped, Lily,” I said firmly. “How can you allow that?”

“Because I do not care for her mental state. I do not care if she goes insane. She will rot in those cells, Ara, and never see the light of day. It must be that way, surely you understand that?”

“Yes. But she can rot without being raped. It makes me sick—”

“And what she did makes me sick.”

“And what about what David did to her?”

Her lips stiffened, shoulders going back—exactly the same way mine would when I was certain I was right about something.

“Right.” I nodded. “I get it. David can do no wrong.”

“Would you have punished him?” she said, sitting down on the corner of the bed. “No. You wouldn’t have. You didn’t—”

“I didn’t know any better then—”

“Yes you did. You always did, but you turned a blind eye because he was your husband.”

“Wouldn’t you?” I nodded at Jason. “Could you hurt him if the law said it was right?”

She glanced back at the sleeping double of my husband. He looked sweet when he was sleeping—young and innocent, almost like a little boy. How could anyone look at him like that and think of hurting him?

“No. I would break the law for him,” she confessed.

“And yet you punish Morgana.” I shook my head at her. “If there is some other reason you punish her, tell me. Make me understand, because from where I stand right now, you’re a beast, Lily. You have no heart!”

Her face rolled sadly down, jaw setting tight. “I cannot tell you what I know, Ara, because it is not my place.”

“I say it is.”

“It is not. It is for David to tell you.”

“Why?”

“He’s not ready for you to know.”

“To know what?”

“Ara?” Jason said sleepily, not even opening his eyes. “Go home and talk to David about it.”

“No,” I demanded. “You can tell me. And I’m not leaving until you do.”

Jason groaned, rolling over and hiding under a pillow. “It’s too early for this.”

“Jase, please,” I begged, throwing the full weight of my needs behind my voice.

The pillow came away from his face and he smiled at me in a way only David ever had before. “You haven’t called me Jase in decades.”

We locked eyes for a moment, years of forbidden love dancing around in the air between us, charging the molecules and altering his state. We had a link, a bond that gave us an everlasting friendship at core level. I could feel it, and Lily could too. She knew she wouldn’t win this one. I wasn’t talking to the king and queen anymore. I was talking to someone that was once my best friend, and she was so in love with him that his desire would always become hers. He wanted to tell me; he wanted to help me; and now she wanted to too.

“It will hurt you deeply, Amara,” she said.

“And yet I still need to know.”

Lily looked at Jason. He nodded, moving his gaze to me after.

“You had just announced to your Private Council only two days before you were kidnapped that you were pregnant with your third child,” Lily said, and my stomach sunk. “You were four weeks…”

Were? My hands closed over my belly.

“Morgana knew,” Jason added, not taking his eyes off me. “The first thing she did when she got hold of you was take the child’s life.”

My knees gave out then and I sunk to the floor, Jason’s arms wrapping around me before I hit the ground.

“So you see, my darling,” Lily said, appearing on her knees in front of me, gently pushing a lock of hair from my eye, “I punish her for the death of an infant—of a child of the royal bloodline—not just for the torture she put you through. I looked into David’s heart. I saw what he felt that day when she killed your baby—when he watched it die, his hands bound, unable to do anything, and I was enraged.”

“She told him to get over it,” Jason added. “She said it was just a sac of cells and that he’d be glad it died, considering what she had planned for you both.”

And now it made sense why David reacted that way over my comment about cells.

“David’s body may have lived on, Ara,” Lily said, her voice breathy and shaking, “but his soul died that day—”

“He can’t come to terms with losing a child that way—having it ripped away; having to see how it killed you not being able to fight for it,” Jason added, squeezing me tight as I shook with grief. “You suffered unendingly, but your body could not have suffered even half as much as your heart did that day.”

“Why?” I sobbed, my hands gathered tightly over my belly. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“He is trying to protect you from feeling this way,” Lily said, her accent thicker now than before. When I looked at her, I saw the deepest grief in her face, making it almost ugly as she cried for me. “I am so sorry, my darling.”

“And this is why, sweet girl.” Jason pressed his lips to my hair. “This is why we hurt her.”

I nodded, my lungs so raw and so tight the air shook its way into my chest.

“It was cruel of my brother to put you up to this,” Lily said. “Drake should not have involved you.”

“Does he know?” I whimpered. “Does he actually know she killed my baby? Because if he does, and he’s still standing up for her, then I want him dead! I want him to vanish off the face of the earth and never come back!”

“No.” Jason’s arms tightened a little more, the smell of him running through my core and igniting a familiar feeling—a feeling of being safe, of knowing he had my back at any cost. “He doesn’t know.”

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“Because he feels strongly about family,” Lily said. “I wanted Morgana to suffer for what she did to you. If he knew she had taken the life of a child—a child of our blood—he would kill her.”

“He’d kill his own daughter?”

“He would not see her as such in this case,” she said.

“But he still loves her when she tried to kill me?”

“You are not an innocent babe in your mother’s womb.”

None of this made any sense to me. It all seemed a bit backwards. He should know. She should die. Period. “I want him to know.”

They both looked at each other, and Jason nodded, Lily acquiescing a second later.

“Come on,” Brett said. I hadn’t noticed him standing behind us until he reached down to hoist me off the floor. “I’ll take you home to David.”

We only made it to the base of the stairs before I had to sit. It all made so much sense to me now—the dream I had about losing a child so long ago, the waking feeling of devastation; the strong, burning desire to have another one—my heart knew. It knew all along what Morgana had taken from me, from us, and it was trying to fix it. But nothing could fix it. Not even a new baby.

I sobbed into Brett’s arms, my incomplete mind struggling to make sense of how anyone could be so dark, so heartless. My life was one thing to take, but a child? An unborn child?

“He,” I stammered, the sentence hiccupping to an end. “He was so worried. He. He…”

“Worried about what, kitten?” Brett said.

“David was worried about the baby.” I crossed my hands over my belly, looking down, my knees turned inward as if they could protect it. “He didn’t want another one. He was so scared of something, and now it all makes so much sense—”

“Okay, that’s good, but, Ara, you’re not making any sense. I can hardly even understand you.”

“I’m pregnant,” I said, my face crumpling. “I mean, only a few days pregnant, but—”

“Really?” The grief in his face stripped right back for the hugest grin. “You’re really pregnant again?”

I nodded, his smile forcing a smile in me.

“Ha!” He laughed loudly, looping his arms around me. “Holy shit. Does David know?”

I nodded, finally able to calm my lungs. “He didn’t want another one yet. He was really afraid.”

Brett nodded into my shoulder, not letting go of me. “This devastated him, Ar, losing—no, having that baby ripped away from you. He just didn’t know how to deal with such a huge loss of life, and he was afraid that you’d remember. And I would be too, especially having another one.”

“I get that now.” I wiped my face. “It makes so much more sense—everything… the way he’s been about it.”

“So…” He leaned back but kept both arms around me. “Was it an accident, or—”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so.” He smiled. “David’s not stupid—”

“I kind of forced him into it though.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said I did something to him with my emotions. I dunno. I just felt this…” I flicked my hair off my face, thinking about that day. “I had this burn, like; after I saw Beth, I knew there was nothing more right in this world than having another baby.”

“Well, you always did say you should listen to your heart.”

“Mm-hm.” I nodded, my heart crying out again. “And it was so broken, Brett. I just didn’t even know why.”

He placed his hand between my breasts, pressing so firmly I could feel my heart beat against his palm, and it felt oddly comforting. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you, Ar. I… I never wanted you to know either. I just didn’t want to see you like this.”

“It won’t destroy me,” I assured him, letting that resolve slip into my core and strengthen me. “I can’t take back what she did, but I’ll be damned if I let anything she did to me ruin my life. This baby will be loved and happy, and he or she needs a happy mother for that.”

He gently rolled his head sideways and brushed his thumb down my cheekbone. “Don’t be strong, okay? You will need time to grieve.”

Yes, but I didn’t want to grieve. All my body wanted was to lay on the floor in a ball and cry, but my mind wanted to be free of the hurt so badly I wished I could just stop crying and pretend like it didn’t hurt inside. I read once that crying was good for the soul, that it released the hurt and tension and anger in the body. I would have to cry, or it would eat me up and make me bitter and angry. But I was so afraid of that too—like the tears were as fierce and dangerous as hate.

“Does Elora know?” I asked.

“No one but Jason, Lily, and me know Morgana did it, and they only told me in case you one day remembered it. Other than that, it was the biggest-kept secret in Lilithian history.”

“No,” I said with a small smile, “I think I was the biggest-kept secret in Lilithian history.”

He laughed softly, his kind eyes searching the sadness in mine. “Yes, you were, and your father does love you, Ara. I know you wonder, since he puts so much into Morgana, but he really would do the same for you if you had no one.”

I nodded. “Does he really not know what she did to me?”

He shook his head. “We had to keep it from him.”

“I have to tell him.” My voice broke on the sadness again. “I need to know if he still wants her set free, knowing what she did.”

“Okay.” Brett nodded. “But speak to David first, okay? He’ll be heartbroken that he wasn’t here for you when you found out. He never wanted you to know. I’m not sure…” He glanced back at my room, where I could hear Lily and Jason whispering. “He won’t forgive Jason for telling you.”

“I don’t know why he didn’t tell me.”

“He just couldn’t find the words, kitten. How could he?”

My lips pressed together in thought. Poor David. To have carried this devastation with him all this time. I understood why he didn’t tell me. I also wished Jason hadn’t, because now I would carry it with me like a weight around my heart for the rest of my days. Losing a child by natural means was one thing, but murder! A person deliberately taking that life!

I got up.

“Where are you going?” Brett asked, following me.

“I think I’m in the anger phase,” I said, opening the door. “I’m going home to talk to David, and then I’m taking the next flight to Loslilian to watch Morgana’s torture!”

Brett reluctantly left me at the front door and headed back down the steps toward home, in his pajamas, his feet still bare. I think I loved him a bit more then. He was always so selfless, but walking me home in the middle of the night and, while supporting me in my grief, not even taking the time to put shoes on, that was taking his love to a new level. I really hoped he was just as sweet and supportive once the curse broke, but… a different kind of sweet and supportive.

I snuck inside and lumbered up the steps, holding my breath to contain the ragged quivering of my lungs and throat. I didn’t want to wake anyone. I didn’t want them to ask me what was wrong because I knew I’d tell them. I knew my broken heart just couldn’t keep this inside. But I didn’t want them to know. In ways, it’d make it too real. It felt like I’d have to carry their grief, their shock; that maybe I’d even have to feel grateful that they were so invested in my life, but all I wanted to do was stare at a wall and let the pain eat me up right now.

The bedroom door was still open, everything how I left it, including David. The room was warm and stuffy with the heat from earlier today, the clock on the mantle ticking loudly beneath the snoring, and David was still laying at an odd angle, his neck tilted up, one shoe still on. I could smell the alcohol on his breath from the door, and it made me feel empty. My life had just taken a huge leap off a cliff into a valley of broken glass, and here he was, sleeping like nothing had happened. I didn’t hate him for that. How could he know? I think I was just jealous. I think I wished I hadn’t gotten out of bed tonight. And then again, I’d slept peacefully for over a year and a half while he carried the knowledge alone.

I climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged beside him. My feet were a bit gross now after being sock-less in Mike’s smelly garden boots, but I decided not to do anything to fix it. I decided instead to lean in and kiss my husband. He didn’t flinch, didn’t even feel it, which I was glad of. I needed to be with him, watching him, just existing with him in a world where he still didn’t know that I knew—a world where he still thought I was okay. This news would change me, I could feel that. It had taken away the light in my heart and replaced it with something heavy and hollow, and I wondered if this was how I used to feel all the time, given that I’d suffered so much loss in my life. It explained perfectly for me why David protected our secrets so fiercely. I loved him for that. I wish he’d been there tonight to protect me from this.

Outside, the sun seemed to peek over the horizon too soon. I looked at the clock on the mantle and realized I’d been sitting here for hours, just staring at him while time passed. I wondered if Brett got any sleep. Or Jason. It wasn’t often that I could feel other people’s emotions these days—something I was told had been a talent of mine before—but I felt Jason’s tonight. Last night, I suppose. In fact, gauging what I felt in him, there was no way he went back to sleep after that. He’d be worried. Very worried.

David let out a huge snore then and stopped breathing for a second, stretching out his body and finally kicking off that last shoe. I held my breath too, hoping he wouldn’t wake fully, look up, and see the tears dripping from my chin. He didn’t need to see them though. It was like he smelled them, or sensed them.

“What’s wrong?” He sat bolt upright without even opening his eyes first. “Ara?”

I sobbed in reply, wiping my nose on my hand.

“Aw, sweetheart.” He wrapped his legs and arms around me, his whiskey breath strong in the circle of his body. “What’s the matter, my love?”

“I had a dream,” I said. “So I went to see Lily—about Morgana.”

“What?” His mood darkened. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

I smirked to convey the obvious.

“Oh right,” he said, smiling. “I was a bit out of it, wasn’t I?”

I nodded, strangely feeling a bit lighter. “They told me, David.”

“Told you what?”

“Why…” My eyes met his, tears dancing on the edges. “They had to tell me why they won’t set Morgana free.”

His eyes closed and his hand came up to grip his hairline. “No.”

“They had to, David.” I pulled his hand down, certain he would rip the hair right out. “I… you understand, I know you do. You know what I’m like. I wasn’t going to drop it.”

“But you are now.” He cast two stern eyes onto my face. “You understand now.” And without me answering, that gaze moved down to my trembling lip and took in the layer upon layer of fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs. “Aw, my love.”

Bundled up, safe in his arms, the grief fled my body, making it shake as it passed through from my soul. But unlike when I cried in Jason’s arms, and in Brett’s, I felt relief from my tears here. I felt weak and unsteady, like the whole world might come to an end underneath us right now, but that’s how I needed to feel. He didn’t make me feel like I needed to be strong. He didn’t make me feel like I needed to just cry and get it all out. He made me feel like it would all be okay—that I would cry, that I would feel pain, but that the pain would leave with the tears.

The dormant strength of the vampire that no longer lived in him rose to the surface, making his hands grip the back of my head too tightly, his chin press down on the top of my head in a way that made my neck dip, but it stopped the shaking after a while and my throat found a voice, taking the grief and the pain and turning it into words.

“It’s like breaking something precious,” I said. “Your heart just wants to glue it back together—to take it back…”

“I know,” he whispered into my neck. “And we can’t make it okay, Ara. We never will. But we are blessed to have another child on the way and, for me, that heals so much of that old open wound. It didn’t at first, because I was afraid for you, but now that you know”—he drew back and smiled at my face, at the tears—“I think it will give us room in our hearts, permission, I guess, to heal.”

“Permission?”

“It can be easy to feel like…”—his eyes drifted slowly to nothing—“I guess that you’re betraying the child that will never be by moving on. Because she, or he, can’t come with us on this journey of life, I think it’s easy to feel like we have to stay hurt to honor it.”

Wow. My brain and my heart just connected so deeply with that. I didn’t want to admit it openly, but he was right.

“You need time,” he said. “You need to grieve and feel angry. I won’t let you put this behind you too quickly, Ara, that’s not healthy. But I’ve grieved enough. It has consumed me, and I can’t… I just need to set myself free now”—he touched my belly—“because I need to love this little one, and I can’t do that while I’m still holding on to the baby we lost.”

I nodded. “You don’t need my permission to be okay, David.”

“Yes but I also do. Because I feel like I have no right to move on without you—”

“You have every right.” I held both of his cheeks, the thick stubble grounding me somehow, making me feel him more than if he was smooth. “I want you to move on, to feel okay again. It’s the only way I ever will. I need to feel like, when I’m ready to be okay again, you’ll be waiting up there to take my hand and show me how.”

He leaned in and kissed my mouth, the stale taste of hot morning breath hitting my gag reflex. I pulled away and, despite my grief, laughed hard.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll go brush my teeth.”

“And shower.”

He laughed, hopping up. “Wanna come?”

“Why? Do I need to brush my teeth?”

“Ha. No. But… you need a shower. Your feet smell.”

I laughed, my eyes tearing up for the relief I felt in still being able to laugh.