Pan was far from his usual chipper self, and he knew he was annoying everyone around him. Hell, he was annoying himself. But he couldn’t force himself to be happy. Or even content. No, he was quite certainly discontent. He tried to convince himself it was because there were no leads on the scroll or Gregor. Or that it was quiet on the Knights’ front, not even a peep of disturbance. Or that he was assigned desk duty, and that always made him twitchy.
Pan leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. No, he knew the reason for his unhappiness.
He’d fallen in love and was forced to give it up. Every freaking time he looked at the book he’d bought from Viktor, he wanted to cry. How pathetic was that?
He’d looked up the word Viktor had used, the Russian endearment. It meant darling. Viktor had called him darling. No one called him that! It made his heart ache. He wanted to hear Viktor say it again.
Neither he nor Jin were punished for the failure of the mission. Apparently after looking over both of their reports, Odin claimed there was no misconduct, and neither of them were at fault. You couldn’t win them all, he said. Then he gave them desk duty, helping a handful of other agents decode the Knights’ files. They were making better progress on that since Kirk knew several keys to the codes. But he didn’t give them up easily. They’d been forced to employ their best interrogator to get the information from him: Captain Odin. He could make anyone sing, and Pan cringed at Odin’s knowledge of how to inflict pain. It wasn’t something to be proud of, and he knew it wasn’t Odin’s favorite thing to do. But sometimes you had to fight fire with fire and stoop to your enemy’s level. Greater good and all that. Or so they told themselves.
Staring at his computer screen, Pan let the subtle noises of the office hum around him, paying them no mind. He sat in his cubicle at the Agency’s headquarters in the field agent’s office. God knew he had work to do, but just like everything else, he couldn’t focus. Maybe it was a good thing he wasn’t in the field. He might screw up and get himself or Jin killed.
Pan sighed as he thought of his partner. Jin had been a trooper through it all. No judgment. No demands. Though Jin never spoke a word about Viktor or their doomed relationship, there were subtle gestures of comfort and compassion. His brother was one in a million.
“Pan? Agent Pan? Hello.”
Pan blinked and leaned back in his chair to consider the man before him. He managed a smirk. “Well, well. If it isn’t the right hand of Odin himself come to mingle with the peasants. Which one are you again? Hugin or Munin?”
Mac rolled his eyes. “Do I look like a raven to you? Don’t you ever get tired of that old joke?”
“Nope.”
Mac was the personal aide to Captain Odin and the quintessential golden boy. From his looks to his personality to his piloting skills, Mac was on a level all his own. He could have easily made field agent and worked up the ranks of the Agency, maybe even become a captain himself. But he never submitted his name for promotion and seemed content to remain an aide. Granted, he did have some field experience since Odin had taken him on a number of cases. Pan half wondered if Odin refused to submit Mac’s name because he liked having him as an aide too much. Pan couldn’t blame him if that was the case.
“Come to bring more encrypted files to decode? My eyes are crossing just thinking about it.”
“Nah. Gave those to Captain Hecate since it’s her squad’s turn.”
“Good. So did Odin get anything else out of Kirk?”
Mac blanched. He recovered quickly, but Pan saw it. Of those who knew about Odin’s particular skill set, he suspected Mac felt it deeper than anyone. He was often there when Odin made them sing, and Pan wouldn’t be surprised if Mac knew things about the captain no one else knew. But he’d never gossip. He was the perfect assistant to such a man.
“No. I don’t think he has anything else to give.”
Pan wasn’t surprised. Kirk was just one cog in a great homicidal wheel. “So then what can I do for you, Mac?”
Mac smiled. “It’s what I can do for you, actually.”
Pan raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You finally willing to take me up on my offer?”
The flirtation was mostly for show. Pan hadn’t felt like being with anyone since that one-night reunion with Viktor. It was interesting to realize he’d never been incapable of monogamy; he’d just been waiting for the right partner to come along who fulfilled all his needs. But he wanted to keep up appearances. Mac sighed and rolled his eyes again. Instead of answering he thrust a thin folder under Pan’s nose.
“Just look through this, you idiot. An offer came down from an interesting source, requesting your transfer.”
Pan frowned. “Transfer? What source?”
“It’s all in there.”
“Just tell me, Mac.”
Mac smiled with excitement. “It would seem that Chief Hera has been in communication with none other than Glory. Through negotiations they’ve both decided that the Agency needs an ambassador to the bird shifters. We need to keep building contacts and strengthening our alliances, after all. A name was put forth for who the ambassador should be.”
Pan stared.
Mac’s grin widened. “Congratulations, Agent Pan. You’ve just been promoted.”
“I—what?”
Chuckling, Mac leaned a hip on Pan’s desk. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless. Look, you know the gig as well as I do. While it will be slightly different from Poe’s arrangement—you’re not actually mated to Glory as he is to Nordik—you’ll serve the same function. You will still be put on field assignments, but you’ll be stationed with a representative to Glory. And by good luck, you already know the representative.”
“Viktor.” Pan could breathe. Of course he could. He just had to remember how.
Mac’s smile softened, as did the look in his eyes. “It’s ultimately your decision, Pan. But I think you should leap at it. What other chances will you get to have both?”
Had he really been that transparent? Pan considered Mac. Maybe to those who knew him well. Or maybe Mac was just a romantic. He could also trust him not to tell Odin or any of the supervisors. Although… the fact that his name had been put forth must mean they already knew, right? And they were using it to their advantage. Yep, sounded like Chief Hera. She wasn’t one to miss an opportunity.
“You’re happy for me.”
Mac tilted his head. “I’m thrilled for you.” Then he stepped forward and hugged Pan tightly around the neck. “I’ll miss you, my friend. Tell him to be good to you, or the entire Agency will kick his ass.”
Pan chuckled and hugged Mac back. “That’ll take some doing. He’s a tough son of a bitch.”
Mac snorted before walking away. Pan stared after him, then at the file folder. He didn’t know how long he sat there, frozen in shock. His mind whirled with the fact his dilemma no longer existed. Then someone knocked on the partition separating his desk from his neighbor’s.
Pan looked up. Jin looked back at him.
“Jin. I—” What could he say?
“We’re still partners,” Jin said, indicating he already knew. “Field work isn’t off the table for you. And I can hold down the fort here.”
“But—”
Jin swooped down and gripped his face. His dark eyes held an intense light that rendered Pan speechless. Again.
“You’re miserable and you know it. Go get him, you fool. Get him and never let him go. You found love, Pan. Keep it no matter what.”
After giving Pan a chaste kiss on the lips, Jin strode away, head high and shoulders back. Pan sucked in a large breath. Sure, easy for all of them to say. What if Viktor no longer wanted him?
Viktor felt like shit. Natasha and Tommy were on the mend—despite a few nightmares and panic attacks—and helping out with the store when they weren’t working on their very overdue homework. They still managed to appear at their graduation ceremony but were forced to attend summer school to finish everything. Their house was being reconstructed, and they were currently living out of the hotel. It was gracious of Glory to pay for their stay there, but he just wanted to go home! Yet reconstructing the house would take time—his insurance barely covered all the damages. A couple of other agents had even come out only a day after Pan and Jin left to look over his store and what was left of his home, searching for any “surprises” the knights might have left. No bombs or other deadly items were discovered, and Viktor managed to thank them despite still existing in a daze at the time.
Despite the fact everything seemed to be going the way it should, he still felt like a dark cloud hovered over him. His children seemed to sense that and gave him a wide berth. Natasha was less argumentative than usual, and Tommy took over most of the dusting and rearranging of items in the store.
The three of them worked well together, and their bond was deeper and stronger than ever before. Some good had come out of the bad. And at long last, he could finally give them his blessing with a clear mind and full heart. He had a different perspective on things and could easily see, now more than ever, the true love Natasha and Tommy had for each other. She’d found her true mate. Just as he’d found his.
Viktor winced at the knife that plunged into his heart. Pan was it for him. So was he now to spend the rest of his life in loneliness and darkness? He cursed Pan, but the anger was only half there. Most of it was just plain depression. Even his hawk was low and sad.
The chiming of the bell over the shop door barely penetrated Viktor’s morose thoughts. He stood in the small room in the back of the store, working on inventory. Or should have been working. He would often just stand back there, clipboard in hand, and live in memories instead of the present. Natasha was handling the front of the shop, and Tommy was on a sandwich run. He was grateful for their help.
A slight murmur of voices carried back to him before footsteps sounded. Then a polite knock came at the door.
“What is it, Natasha?”
The door opened. He turned around. It wasn’t Natasha. His heart jumped even as his eyes widened. Pan stared back at him, uncertainty clearly written on his face. He hesitated before shutting the door behind him. Then he slowly walked over to stand in front of Viktor. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Hi.”
Viktor swallowed despite his dry throat. “Hi.”
Pan blew out a breath. “I can see by your expression Glory said nothing to you.”
Viktor frowned. “Said nothing about what?”
“It seems Glory has been talking to my chief, and they’ve worked out an arrangement.”
Viktor tilted his head, trying to focus his mind when all he wanted to do was throw Pan down and ravish him. The memory of their last night together reared up, choking him. It had been… everything he wanted and more. His hawk fidgeted with excitement, causing a slight ripple to run through his skin.
“I told you the Agency has been building alliances with different packs and clans of shifters. Well, Chief Hera wants an alliance with Glory and the bird shifters. They need an ambassador.”
Viktor’s heart drummed in his ears, and his breathing sped up.
“My name was put forth.” Pan watched him intently, and Viktor realized he was gauging his reaction. “I’m to be stationed with Glory’s representative. You.”
It took all his strength not to shout “hallelujah” to the heavens. Viktor stood straighter and noticed his hands were shaking, which in turn shook the clipboard. His hawk screeched with joy inside his head, and it was a constant struggle to keep his hands to himself.
“I see,” he said.
Pan nodded. Bit his lip. “Look, I—I’d like to take the position. But I honestly don’t know what you think of me right now. I can turn the offer down. I’m not obligated.”
Denial screamed in his head, and Viktor stepped forward. He dropped the clipboard and could no longer resist his desire to touch Pan. He gripped his shoulders, and Pan’s eyes widened in surprise before flashing with hope.
“Pan, I want you here. I want you with me, dorogoy.” Viktor slid his hands down to grip Pan’s. “I am in love with you.”
Pan’s breath hitched. “You sure?”
Viktor chuckled. “Bird shifters are always sure. We always know. Ya lyublyu tebya vsem serdtsem.”
“Huh?”
Viktor laid his forehead against Pan’s. “I love you with all my heart.”
Pan stuttered out a breath, and Viktor felt slightly irritated Pan didn’t say the words back. Then Pan lifted his head, and though his eyes were wet, he smiled.
“Could you say that again? Slower so I can repeat it back?”
Viktor grinned. He did say it slower. Then Pan nodded and repeated it back. He did it quite well, even with his American accent. But to hear Pan say such words in his native tongue was thrilling and melted his heart, even as it hardened his cock.
“My real name isn’t Pan, you know,” Pan said suddenly.
Viktor blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Agents pick a new name when they reach a certain level within the Agency. I picked Pan. You know, the Greek god of fertility? The lust-driven satyr.”
Viktor snorted. “That is you.”
Pan chuckled. “When we met three years ago, I gave you another name.”
“Da. You did. I do not remember.”
“Andras.”
Suddenly it clicked. “Andras.”
“It means virile and manly.” Pan waggled his eyebrows. “It never seemed to fit until I joined the Agency.”
“Andras,” Viktor said again, savoring the name. “So you are with me now, and with the Agency?”
“Yes.”
“That is good, then.” He pressed their foreheads together. “We will fly together. I will show you how to fly.”
Pan smirked. “I already fly when we make love.”
Viktor’s heart swelled. “That is good. But I will show you how birds fly.”
“Ah, right. Your Vulcan mind meld.”
Viktor frowned.
Pan laughed, shaking his head. “Dude, we really need to introduce you to pop culture.”
Viktor lifted Pan into his arms without another word and lowered them to the floor. Pan laughed again as Viktor started to yank off his clothes. He reached back and slapped Viktor’s ass.
“I guess we’ll work out the details of this partnership later?” Pan said even as he divested Viktor of his own clothes.
“Da. Later.” He claimed Pan’s mouth in a brutal kiss. Then a stray thought hit him and he pulled back just enough to speak. “If you have itch for another lover, promise to include me. We can make it couple-bonding experience.”
Pan’s eyes widened before he laughed again, loudly, helplessly, and clutched Viktor’s head to his chest. Viktor snuggled close, Pan’s delight sending him soaring.
Mine, mine, mine was all he could think. Mine, mine, mine.