Conway had put the boys to bed a few minutes ago, but they’d yet to settle down. He sat on the sofa then reached for the remote and turned on the TV. A few minutes later the twins marched into the living room.
“What’s wrong?” Conway asked, noting the brothers had put on their rodeo boots, only they must have done it in the dark, because they each wore one black boot and one brown boot.
“Here.” Javier shoved a piece of paper at Conway.
He scanned the note. “This is your Christmas wish list.”
Miguel shook his head. “We don’t want ’em anymore.”
“Why not?” He hoped Isi hadn’t already purchased the toys.
“’Cause,” Miguel said.
“Okay. What do you two want then?” Conway asked.
“We want you to be our dad,” Javi said.
If Conway hadn’t already been sitting down, his legs would have folded beneath him. The boys stared wide-eyed, waiting for his response. When he opened his mouth to speak, the words stuck to the sides of his throat. He swallowed hard, ignoring the panic building inside him. “I’m flattered, guys, but—”
“What’s flattered?” Miguel asked.
“It means I appreciate you wanting me to be your father, but I can’t.”
“Why not?” Javi inched closer and set his small hand on Conway’s thigh. “Don’t you like us?”
“Of course I like you.” Conway squeezed his hands into fists to keep from hugging the boy. How the heck did he get himself out of this mess without hurting their feelings? “I’ve had a lot of fun hanging out with both of you.”
“You could be our dad and have fun with us all the time,” Mig said.
Feeling like a cornered rabbit, Conway sprang from the couch and walked to the opposite side of the room then faced the boys. How could two kids three feet tall be so intimidating? “You guys don’t understand. I’m not going to be anybody’s father. Ever.”
“Why not?” Javi asked.
“Because—” He shut his mouth. He couldn’t very well tell them that if he became their father, odds were one day he’d wake up and walk out on them. “Don’t worry, guys. Your mom will meet a really great man one day and he’ll be your father.”
“But we want you,” Miguel said.
Feeling lower than pond scum, he said, “Get back in bed.”
The twins didn’t move and Conway feared they were going to defy him, then Miguel huffed and walked off.
Javier stood his ground and pointed to his mismatched boots. “You lied.”
“About what?” Then Conway remembered telling the boy not to wear mismatched shoes all the time because the good luck would wear off. “I’m sorry, Javi.”
The kid walked back to his bedroom and slammed the door hard, shaking not only the trailer walls but Conway’s heart. He’d handled the situation badly—more proof that being a father wasn’t in the cards for him.
He waited an hour before opening the bedroom door and peeking in on the twins. They were asleep in their beds—thank goodness. He wouldn’t have been able to stand it if he’d found them crying. As he closed the door his gaze landed on the garbage can across the room. They’d thrown both pairs of cowboy boots in the trash.
Feeling like the cruelest man on earth, Conway closed the door and returned to the living room. He had no idea what he was going to say to Isi when she got home tonight. They’d yet to talk about making love and now the boys had asked him to be their father.
Conway had been given a reprieve when Porter had volunteered to fetch the twins earlier in the day, but there was no escaping a face-off with Isi tonight. He still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that he’d had sex with a woman who’d been his friend and confidante the past twenty-four months.
Every once in a while his thoughts of Isi would stray into X-rated territory when he remembered the past—like the night she’d worn a tight spandex top at the bar. When she’d caught him staring at her breasts, her nipples had hardened and it had taken all his willpower to act as if he hadn’t noticed. Then there had been the night when she’d tripped over a bar stool and he’d caught her by the waist—except her waist had actually been her breast. He’d suffered erotic dreams for a month after that incident.
His attraction to Isi had always been there, simmering below the surface. If she hadn’t had the boys, Conway would have fallen hard for her within the first week of meeting her.
He wanted to wipe the slate clean between them and return to the way things used to be—before he’d offered to babysit for the boys. He yearned for the days when he stopped by the bar and shared his latest dating dilemma with her and she’d make sense of it all for him. Now Isi was his dating dilemma, and he sure in heck couldn’t her ask for advice on how to deal with her.
At twelve-thirty he heard Isi’s clunker park beneath the carport. When she entered the trailer, their gazes clashed and his first thought was how hot she looked in her bar T-shirt and tight jeans. A surge of testosterone flooded his bloodstream as his mind flashed back to their clothes flying off in her bedroom.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Fine.” She set her backpack on the floor. “How about yours?”
“Fine,” he lied. He swore he saw wavy tension lines hovering in the air between them.
“Conway.”
“Isi.”
They spoke simultaneously. “Ladies first,” he said.
“That’s okay. You go.”
“About the other night.” Damn, why was it so hard to tell her that making love with her again was never going to happen? “I don’t think we should...you know...have a repeat of...” Oh, hell. For a guy who had a reputation of being a ladies’ man, he sounded like an idiot. “It’s not that I didn’t enjoy what we did,” he said. “It’s that I don’t want kids and—”
“I have the boys.”
And tonight he’d discovered how much power kids wielded over adults and how they could make a grown man feel like crap.
“It’s okay.” Her sad smile tugged his heartstrings. “I didn’t invite you into my bed, hoping you’d change the way you feel about kids.” She strolled past him into the kitchen and he caught a whiff of her perfume—the same stuff she’d worn the night they’d slept together. She drank a glass of water then set the cup in the sink. “I’m fine with keeping things between us casual until I graduate at the end of the semester and we go our separate ways.”
Two very good reasons why he couldn’t keep things casual with Isi were sleeping a few feet away behind a closed door. Heck, it was bad enough that he cared about the boys as if he were their...uncle or something. If he gave Isi half the chance, he’d begin caring for her like a steady boyfriend or... He couldn’t make himself say the word husband out loud much less in his head.
“Porter said you don’t have classes the rest of the week.”
“That’s right.”
“I think it would be best if you found a new sitter to watch the boys when you go to work.”
Isi’s eyes widened then she dropped her gaze. Conway backed up a step to keep from taking her in his arms and begging for her forgiveness.
He edged toward the door, his stomach dropping when he caught her wiping a tear.
She sniffed. “Conway?”
“Yeah?”
“Would it be better if the boys and I don’t show up at the farm for Thanksgiving?”
He’d forgotten Will had invited them. “You should still come.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” Leave. Don’t stay no matter how badly she acts like she needs a hug. Conway closed the door behind him and jogged to his truck. When he started the engine it occurred to him that his actions tonight proved he was no better than his own father—for all intents and purposes he’d turned his back on Isi and the boys. Better that he found out now rather than later after all their hearts became entangled.
* * *
AS SOON AS Conway’s truck pulled away from the trailer, Isi broke down in tears and swiped angrily at the moisture that leaked from her eyes. What an idiot she’d been to believe that if Conway made love to her once he’d want to share her bed again.
Suck it up, girl.
Conway had done so much for her and the boys that she refused to make him feel guilty for not wanting to carry on an affair with her. She hated to be the one to break the news to her sons, but first thing in the morning she’d continue her search for a new sitter. If she didn’t have any luck, she’d beg her neighbor for help. Mrs. Sneed might not be as exciting as Conway but at least she wasn’t a pedophile or a crazy lady.
After turning out the lights, she stopped in the hallway and poked her head inside the boys’ bedroom. Javier was wide awake. “What’s the matter, honey? Did you have a nightmare?” She sat on the bed, pulled him into her arms and rocked him.
“Conway doesn’t want to be our dad,” he said.
Isi stiffened. What was Javi talking about?
“I asked him to be our dad for Christmas instead of getting presents from Santa, but he said no.”
So it wasn’t sleeping with her that had scared Conway off. “When did you ask him?”
“Tonight.”
When Isi turned her head away so Javier wouldn’t see her tears, she noticed the trash can. “Why did you throw your boots in the garbage?”
“They’re bad luck.”
She had no idea what Javi was talking about, but she didn’t want to ask for an explanation. “Honey, Conway is a nice man and he really likes you and Mig, but he never planned to be with us forever.” She didn’t know how to explain Conway’s fear of fatherhood when she didn’t fully understand his reasons for not wanting children.
“We don’t want Conway to watch us anymore.”
You’re getting your wish. “Tomorrow we’ll find a new sitter.”
Miguel lay wide awake staring at her. She waited for him to say what was on his mind, but he kept silent. “You okay, Mig?”
He rolled away and flung the covers over his head. His heart was broken, too. She gave Javi an extra hug then tucked in his blankets. “We have each other, guys. The three of us will always be a family.”
She left the door cracked open before retreating to her bedroom where she changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed.
Then she cried, her sobs muffled by the pillow pressed against her face.
* * *
ISI DRIED THE last of the Thanksgiving dishes and set the damp towel on the counter. She’d volunteered to help Dixie in the kitchen so she could escape the awkwardness between her and Conway. Even the boys had chosen to stick by Will’s side this afternoon—not that she blamed them.
“This is a lovely home, Dixie.”
“The house is over a hundred years old and Will is constantly repairing leaky faucets and creaky doors. The place needs a facelift, but no one has the time or money to update the rooms.”
“I wouldn’t change a thing.” Isi strolled into the dining room off the kitchen. She studied the wallpaper pattern of elegantly intertwining white blooms against a faded burned-gold background. The space was cozy and inviting.
“Would you like a tour of the house?” Dixie asked.
Isi had been dying for such an invitation. “I’d love to see the other rooms.”
“Let’s start upstairs.”
She followed Dixie out of the kitchen and asked, “Does Shannon want to come?”
“Shannon practically grew up in this house. She spent more time here than at her father’s ranch.” Dixie stopped by the front door and looked in the parlor. “I don’t know where she disappeared to.”
“Maybe she’s outside.” Those who weren’t helping clean up after the meal were playing touch football in the yard.
“There are three bedrooms upstairs,” Dixie said.
Isi stepped on a squeaky stair. “Are these the original wood floors?”
“Yep. They’ve taken a lot of abuse over the years and need to be refinished.”
“I like the noise, it’s charming.”
“My grandparents never minded the loose boards, because they warned them when one of my brothers snuck into the house past curfew.” Dixie stopped outside the door at the top of the stairs. “This is where Gavin and I sleep.”
“Nice,” Isi said.
“It’s considered the master, but all three bedrooms are the same size. The only difference is that this room has three windows, not two.” Dixie opened the next door.
“Cowboy and Indian wallpaper.”
“Believe it or not this was my mother’s room,” Dixie said. “She picked out the paper. The other bedroom has fire trucks and police cars on the walls.”
Isi strolled over to the window. She spotted Conway in the midst of his brothers and their girlfriends, but it was Will who her boys stood next to. Will played quarterback and Javier and Miguel blocked for him. When the ball was snapped, Buck and Merle—called Mack by family and friends—tackled the twins to the ground. Her heart ached at the thought that she and her sons would never be part of this family. “The boys haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”
Dixie peeked over Isi’s shoulder. “They’re sweet kids.”
“They don’t get a chance to roughhouse very often.” Isi’s attention shifted to Conway. Maybe she was biased, but he was by far the handsomest of the males playing football. Each Cash brother was charming in their own way, but Conway was special—he was...or had been for a short time...her Cash brother.
“You’d think my siblings would have changed the wallpaper or painted over it, but since my mother had picked it out...” Dixie shrugged.
“Conway told me that your mother passed away when you were all young.”
“It was a difficult time, but Johnny was our rock, and we had our grandparents.”
Sensing Dixie would rather not discuss her mother, Isi asked, “Where did you sleep, if your brothers used these two rooms?”
“Follow me.” Dixie walked to a door at the end of the hall. “This used to be an old linen closet. When I came along, Grandpa Ely knocked out the back wall of the closet and sealed off a portion of the attic, turning it into a bedroom for me.” Dixie ducked inside and Isi followed.
“This is adorable.” Isi’s gaze took in the slanted ceiling and stained-glass window near the roof line. A second window had been cut into the side of the house to hold an air conditioner. “You must have felt like a princess in a castle tower.”
“You’re the only one who’s ever come in here and said that. My brothers view it as a cramped, unappealing attic,” Dixie said.
“This is definitely a girl’s room and it should never be changed.”
“I agree. Let me show you the bathroom. It has all the original fixtures.”
When they stepped into the hallway, the bathroom door opened and Shannon emerged, her skin pale.
Dixie rushed forward, but Shannon held up a hand. “Don’t say a word.”
“How far along are you?” Dixie asked.
“Two months, but—” Shannon wiped at a tear that escaped her eye.
“But,” Isi said, her expression softening. “Because Dixie had a miscarriage you’re afraid it might happen to you, too.”
Dixie frowned. “Conway told you?”
Isi nodded.
“It’s true, Dix. I’ve been so worried, thinking about what you went through. I don’t want to tell Johnny until I’m sure everything will be okay. All he talks about is how cute Nate is and how it would be fun having our own baby.” Shannon winced. “He’s got my father pestering me for grandchildren.”
“I thought you were going to wait to start a family?”
“We were, but...”
“Johnny really wants to be a father,” Dixie said. “He misses riding herd over me and our brothers.”
Isi wished Conway felt the same about fatherhood.
“Then by all means have kids now if it’ll keep Johnny from sticking his nose in our business,” Dixie said.
“I want to surprise him at Christmas with the news.”
“Don’t worry.” Dixie hugged Shannon. “Isi and I will keep your secret. In the meantime, smile and enjoy the moment. You’re pregnant!”
The women went outside and Dixie took over watching Nate so Gavin could play football. Shannon sat on the swing with Dixie while Isi retrieved her disposable camera from her purse and snapped pictures of the game. This was the first Thanksgiving she and the boys hadn’t spent alone, and she wanted more Conway memories for their scrapbooks.
Will stepped back to pass, but when he released the ball, Porter got his fingers on it, changing the flight path and sending it straight at Isi. Instinctively she put her hands out to protect her face and ended up catching the ball.
“Run, Isi, run!” Will shouted.
She raced down the steps and darted past hands that tried to capture her. Miguel and Javier ran alongside her then Will came out of nowhere. He scooped her into his arms and dodged his brothers. Isi clung to his neck, the football smashed between their bodies. When they whizzed past Conway, she caught him gaping.
Mack dove at them and Will stumbled. Isi buried her face in his neck and squeezed her eyes closed, bracing for impact. Right before they hit the ground, Will spun and Isi landed on top of him. Hanging on to her, he rolled Isi over the goal line and everyone erupted into cheers. Will broke out in laughter and she joined in. After a minute, he crawled to his feet and helped her off the ground then twirled her in the air.
“You won the game for us, Isi!” Will flashed a cocky grin at Conway who strode toward them.
“What the heck are you doing?” Conway said.
Isi attempted to step aside, but Will’s arm tightened like a steel band against her waist.
“What do you mean, what am I doing?” Will said. “I’m celebrating our victory.” He smiled at Isi as he slid his hand over her hip. “We make a great team, don’t we?”
“That’s cheating.” Conway grabbed Isi by the arm and tugged her free of Will’s hold.
Isi gasped. The two brothers weren’t aware that everyone had stopped playing to watch them.
Will pulled Isi back to his side. “I didn’t cheat.”
“Yes, you did.” Conway claimed her again.
“Isi’s catch was made fair and square.” This time when Will reached for her, Johnny stepped between the brothers.
“I get the feeling that you two aren’t talking football anymore.” Johnny narrowed his eyes. “It’s Thanksgiving. Behave.”
Miguel and Javier wiggled their way between the adults and hugged Isi. “You won the game, Mom!” Miguel gave her a high five.
“Next year Isi’s on our team.” Will’s gaze challenged Conway.
“Time for dessert!” Dixie hollered from the porch.
“Before everyone fills up on pumpkin pie, we need to take a vote on whether or not any of us are interested in selling out to Bell Farms.”
“You know where I stand,” Conway said then walked toward the barn.
Isi rushed after him. Before she left she wanted to tell him that she’d found a new sitter. “Conway!”
He stopped and waited for her to catch up. “I need to talk to you.” When he didn’t say anything, she asked, “Show me the pond?”
“Can we come, too?” Miguel skidded to a stop at Isi’s side.
“Can we, Conway?” Javier asked.
“Lead the way.” He motioned for the boys to walk ahead. He wasn’t in the best mood—not after watching Will plaster himself all over Isi as if she belonged to him.
Jealous?
Damn straight he was jealous. Some brother Will turned out to be—honing in on Isi. Conway should have never asked his brother to take her out on a date.
Then why did you?
Because I thought he was harmless! Will was supposed to have been a safe bet—a guy Conway could trust to show Isi a good time, not steal her out from under him.
You have no claim on her.
He’d made love to Isi—that meant she was off-limits to his brothers—no exceptions.
As they strolled along the path that skirted the barn, Conway couldn’t ignore how much he’d missed Isi the past few days. Why did she have to be the one who touched him in a way no other woman ever had? If he could go back in time and intercept the punch Bridget had thrown at Isi’s nose, he would. Then all would be right in his world.
“I wanted you to know that I found a sitter for the boys,” she said.
“Who?”
“My neighbor Mrs. Sneed agreed to watch them.”
“Will she drive the boys to school and pick them up?”
“Yes.”
“And she’s willing to stay late when you work at the bar?”
“Yes, but the boys will have to sleep at her house until I get home.”
“Why can’t they sleep in their own beds?”
“Mrs. Sneed won’t give up her television programs, and I don’t have satellite TV.” Isi continued walking. “The boys will fall asleep quickly once they’re back in their own beds.”
Conway didn’t like the new arrangement for the twins.
You’re not their father. You don’t have a say. Before he pestered Isi with more questions about her neighbor, the boys raced toward the pond.
“Wait for us!” he shouted. Once they reached the water’s edge, he said, “Stay here.” Conway walked the perimeter of the pond then announced, “Coast is clear.”
“What were you doing?” she asked.
“Searching for snakes.”
Isi held fast to the boys’ shirt collars. “Are you sure it’s safe?”
“Positive. I haven’t seen a snake in months. Not since Porter and Buck cleared out a den a mile from here last spring.”
She released her hold on the twins. “You can stick your toes in the water, but don’t get your clothes wet.”
Mig and Javi removed their shoes and socks then waded a few feet into the water, squealing at the cold temperature.
“I can’t thank you enough for all the help you’ve given me this semester,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stepped up after Nicole left me high and dry.”
“I was glad to help.”
“Now you can get back to farming and not worry about interruptions.”
He’d finished the pecan harvest. All that remained to do was clean up the debris in the grove and next month prune the dead branches from the trees. He wouldn’t be doing any of that if his siblings voted to sell out tonight.
As if Isi read his mind, she asked, “What was Johnny talking about when he said you were all supposed to cast a vote on selling the farm?”
“An agricultural company made an offer to buy the orchards.”
“You don’t think they’ll sell, do you?”
“I don’t know. I’m the only one who’s willing to harvest the pecans.”
“I can’t picture your sister getting rid of the farmhouse. She loves your grandmother’s home.”
“I’ll find out later tonight.”
“If they decide to sell, what will you do?”
“Go back on the rodeo circuit full-time.” The prospect didn’t excite him.
He changed the subject. “When’s your graduation ceremony?”
“They don’t have one for students who finish school in December.”
That wasn’t right. Isi had worked her butt off to earn a degree. She deserved to celebrate her success. His gaze cut to the boys. Who would throw Isi a party—she had no family and her best friend was in California.
“Hey, Conway,” Miguel said. “Can we ride on your tractor?”
Now that Isi no longer needed him to babysit this might be the last time Miguel and Javier visited the farm. No more tractor rides. No more naps in the hammock. No more visits to the pond. “Sure. We better head back before it gets dark.”
The boys giggled and fell backward as they struggled to pull their socks on over wet feet.
Isi watched with a wry smile. “They’re a riot, aren’t they?”
Conway chuckled, but his chest felt as if it was cracking wide open. He was going to miss the little troublemakers more than he’d ever imagined.