Matt looked around the convention centre, in awe of what Izabel had been able to pull off, as he placed his guitar over his shoulder and walked off stage with a wave. The audience roared their appreciation. But truth be told, many of them were waiting for the headliners. Another way in which he owed Simon.
When their manager had heard about the event, he’d asked other agents in Nikhedonia to see if any of their artists would perform and they’d delivered a Manchester legend who rarely toured.
But it meant he was done for the night.
“Everyone want a pint?” Jase asked as they walked off stage. With words and nods of agreement from the rest of the band, he headed in the direction of the bar.
“That was fucking smooth,” Luke said, throwing his arm over Matt’s shoulder. “Izabel’s done amazing, hasn’t she? I well chuffed for her.”
“Yeah, she did great. It’s all run like clockwork,” Matt said.
Ben nudged Luke with his shoulder. “You must be well proud of her.”
“I know we all are. It’s impressive to pull this off,” Alex said.
“She had some help from this bird who’s a sister of one of those lads over at the barbers. I’m kind a wondering if the guy who owns the place is the one she’s been hooking up with. She’s mentioned his name a few times because he volunteers at the shelter and shit. He’s a decent looking guy. Maybe it was his sister who helped her out as a favour because Iz’s dating her brother.”
“Nah, mate. It’s one of the other guys who works there. Dominic. It’s his sister, Rachel,” Matt said, his trust in Iz strong enough to not follow Luke’s line of thinking. “That’s the one who’s been helping her.”
Luke screwed up his brow. “How do you know so much about it?”
Matt’s stomach dropped. He should just come clean now. But he promised Iz he wouldn’t tell him without her around. So, he did what he’d been doing the last nearly four months. He lied. “I had to deal with them, signing papers for this and stuff.” Okay, so it wasn’t a total lie because Simon had gotten him to sign some appearance legalities. “We got chatting about it.”
And he needed to stop expanding. Least said, soonest mended.
Their set had gone smoothly. Stricken by what had happened when they’d fought on stage together, there’d been no stupid banter, no bumping coke, no drinking. For once, Matt had been completely sober, something he intended to change very shortly.
Jase delivered their drinks and they stood around a high table in the corner near the bar in the VIP area, ignoring those looking over at them. Matt leaned against the wall.
“So,” Alex said, rubbing his thumb over the label on his bottle of beer. “You going to tell us who this chick is you’ve been seeing is?”
The question caught Matt off guard so much he assumed it was aimed at someone else until he realised everybody’s eyes were on him. Matt caught Ben’s concerned glance that said he hated lying to his own brother but looked away.
“What?” Matt asked, buying himself some time.
Alex’s curls flopped in front of his eyes as he shrugged. “The chick. It’s been at least a couple of months since you hooked up with someone on the road. And you’ve chilled the fuck out. Plus, disappearing straight after gigs and stuff says there’s someone waiting for you somewhere else.”
Trust Alex to notice the change in his behaviour. He could try and lie. Or he could blow it off. He picked the latter.
“There’s someone I’ve been getting to know. Keeping it casual.” He took a sip of beer. Again, the smaller the lie, the harder it would be to trip up.
Jase laughed. “More likely fucking his own hand.”
Luke joined in. “Either that or he’s got some erectile dysfunction going on we don’t know about.”
“Two words I hope never appear in the same sentence as far as my dick is concerned,” Matt said, joining in the banter, to avoid answering. If anything, he had the opposite going on. Being around Iz, thinking about her, stealing moments with her made him constantly hard.
And it wasn’t just the sex he loved. He loved the quiet moments after, when they lay in each other’s arms, completely stripped bare, sharing stories about their day.
The conversation carried on around him. Banter. A few laughs. It was almost like old times. Luke and Jase seemed to be getting along.
The calm before the storm, maybe.
“I’ll get the next round,” Ben said. “Everyone in?”
Matt raised his almost empty glass. What he’d not drunk before the show he was making up for after.
He glanced over to where Izabel was still tied up with the reporter from the Manchester Evening News, wishing there was a way to just walk over there and stand next to her like the fucking proud boyfriend he was.
She looked stunning in the back dress with thin straps criss-crossing her back and the heels that looked perilous and sexy as fuck. When he’d seen her that morning, after she’d pretended to sleep over at Gemma’s so she could wake up in his arms, she’d been dressed in jeans and a hoodie. He loved her in both. Especially when she was smiling like she was now.
Someone stumbled against him, and Matt turned, coming face to face with Harry. Harry’s face fell as Matt realised Luke was standing right next to them.
Of course Harry would get a fucking ticket. From a quick glance around, there was no Sophia, just a group of male friends. Harry’s eyes flitted between Izabel and Matt.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Matt asked.
“Just came to support Izzie. I know this is important to her,” Harry replied.
“What did I say I’d do if you kept calling her Izzie?”
Luke shoved Harry’s shoulder. “Heard you gave her shit at the wedding?”
Harry put his hands up. “Look. That was months ago, and I don’t want trouble. You made your point loud and clear with your obnoxious displays at the wedding. She’s yours. Fair enough. Although it was shit of you to keep her in that fancy suite of yours and miss the post-wedding lunch with everyone. Mum missed her.”
“Just fuck off, Harry,” Matt said, shoving him away. “I promised I’d make it hurt next time I saw you. If you don’t want that to be tonight, you get out of my sight.”
Luke placed his bottle on the table. “What did he mean, your fancy suite?”
“Didn’t Iz tell you, she got upgraded?”
Luke looked confused for a moment. “He said your. And how you never made it to the lunch. What happened?”
Matt shook his head. He didn’t want to keep lying. “She was hungover. Everyone was. Thought she was gonna puke so I brought her home. You saw her. You thought something was wrong.”
Seconds crawled by.
Fuck.
A clusterfuck of fucking fucks.
Luke took a gulp of beer, then looked at Matt again. “You told me Harry had been a dick.”
“He had. What are you doing Luke?”
“What’s going on?” Alex asked.
Ben glanced over to Matt, while his gaze was sympathetic, he mouthed, “Just tell him.”
“Luke,” Matt began, glancing over at Izabel again. She was too focused on whoever she was talking to.
“No. No fucking way. The wedding was near the fucking peacock wallpaper. Late August. You’ve not hooked up since. Then you just told Alex there was someone you were talking too. And you know details about this gig of Izabel’s. And what Harry just said. That he got it. That’s she’s yours. That you guys were all over each other. Fuck me,” he gaped. “No. No, mate. Please don’t tell me it’s happening all over the fuck again. Tell me you aren’t.”
Matt shook his head. “Look, let’s get out of here and talk, yeah?”
“You’re fucking Iz.” It was a statement. Luke’s face was taught and red, but it was anguish Matt could see in his eyes, not anger.
Matt pushed himself off the wall and ignored everyone but Luke. “I love her, Luke.”
“You’re fucking my sister.”
“I heard you. I love your sister in every possible way there is. I’m not going to let you reduce it to fucking her.”
Luke shoved Matt’s chest, but Matt stood his ground. “You fucking promised me. You told me there was nothing going on.”
“I did. Because of tonight. Because of Jase. Because of the break with Willow Warner and signing with Simon. Because you’re my song-writing partner and the band falls apart if we fall apart.”
“You think I care about the fucking band right now. You and your fucking brother. I’ve spent the last decade watching you fuck anything that moves. You aren’t worth her, Matt.” Luke’s voice had gotten so loud, Jase looked over from where he'd been chatting with the lead singer of the second act that evening. He marched over to the two of them, but Alex slapped out an arm to stop him.
“What’s Luke yelling about?”
Matt’s stomach dropped. This was it. The band was about to explode, and it was his fault. There wasn’t a single thing he could do to stop it. They’d finally caught a break, and now it was about to disappear into the ether.
“Looks like your brother is fucking Izabel.”
Jase’s eyes narrowed and he stepped right up into Matt’s space. “For real?”
“I love her. I have for a long while.”
Matt glanced in Izabel’s direction, just as she looked at him. In a heartbeat, he knew if he walked out of the bar with only one thing, only one thing from having a band, a brother, a best-friend, or Izabel, it would be Izabel, no matter what other fall out there was.
Concern etched her features, then her hands flew to her mouth as Luke’s fist collided with the side of his head, knocking the wind of out him.
Matt kicked the chair out of the way so he wasn’t pinned so tightly against the wall, ducking as Luke tried to rain in another blow. He raised his hands and grabbed Luke’s wrists. “I don’t want to fight you, Luke.”
“Yeah, well. Too fucking late for that.” Luke threw another punch which glanced off Matt’s shoulders.
Still, he refused to hit Luke. He raised his hands in front of his chest. “Don’t do this, Luke.”
“Do what? You fucking lied to me. You’re like a fucking brother to me.” The vein at the side of Luke’s forehead pulsed erratically.
“Mate. Sit down and talk with me and Iz. I love her, she loves me. We were going to talk to you tomorrow, once this concert was out of the way. We’re in it for the long term. Honestly. Things have—”
“Congratulations, brother. After years of telling me I’d fuck the band up, you did it yourself.” Jase was in his face. “Just when we were actually on the brink of something. You have to fuck it up for all of us.”
Matt shoved his hands in Jase’s chest and slammed him back against the table, sending pint glasses flying, shattering on the floor. “Fuck things up? You realise this…Iz…the secrets…is partly because of you, you fucking twat. And you, I don’t have a problem hitting.”
“Me? Fuck that shit. The band has been simmering for years. You and Luke and your song-writing that excludes the rest of us. Well, you know what, we don’t need you. You’re fired.”
Matt tugged his hands through his hair. “Fine, but you realise you can’t play any songs, right?”
Jase scoffed. “You’re so arrogant you think we can’t play them without you? Like you once said to me, you’re good, but you aren’t irreplaceable.”
Matt shook his head. “You never did get the business side of things. I own the songs. You can’t play them without my permission. But this isn’t what this is about. The band is the last thing I care about right now.”
He turned to Luke just as Izabel hurried from the interview. One look at Matt and Luke’s faces must have told her everything she needed to know. She passed Luke and hurried to his side. Matt opened his arm and pulled her in close.
“They know,” she said.
Matt nodded at the understatement. “Yeah, sweetheart, they know.”
“Luke,” Izabel implored.
“My best-fucking-friend, Iz?”
“I’ve loved him since I was a teenager. I just wanted to know what one day of having him my life was like. And once I found out, I didn’t want to be without him.”
Matt’s heart squeezed. They’d been selfish in their pursuit of their own happiness. “I’m sorry. I felt, and still feel, the same. I didn’t know another person could make you feel so complete. And, yeah, I know you’ve seen me with other women, but, Luke, you’ve known me long enough to hopefully know I’m a decent guy. We talked about this the other day at the apartment. She’s the reason why I want to settle down with someone. It’s Izabel, Luke.”
Anguish covered Luke’s features and he turned to Izabel. “Didn’t sleeping with Jase teach you anything you fucking idiot.”
Matt pushed Izabel slightly behind him. “Luke,” Matt warned. “I really don’t want to hurt you but call Iz an idiot again and I will.”
“Now you’re the big man. Now you step up. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, man. Fuck both of you.”
Izabel stepped from behind him and reached for Luke. “Please. We’re all we’ve got, right?”
Matt watched Luke carefully, even as his heart cracked wide open at the hurt in Izabel’s voice.
“Not anymore, Iz. Not anymore. You’ve apparently got Matt. So, pack up your shit and get the fuck out of my apartment. I’m done looking out for you.” His eyes turned to Matt. “You wanted her, you’ve got her. And keep your fucking songs, even though I helped write plenty of them. I wouldn’t play your songs again for no amount of money.”
Luke grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, whipped it over his shoulder, and stormed out of the bar.
Ben was holding Jase around the chest. “I told you to sort this shit out. You should go, Matt.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you all, but I can’t be sorry for me and Izabel. I meant it when I said I love her. I hope we can find a way through this, but I can’t let Izabel be a bargaining chip in us continuing to perform together.”
As he wrapped his arm around Izabel, he felt his world tilt. Like that feeling when you dive out of bed too quickly in a morning and the blood rushes to your head, making the world spin and you vision blur. While the feeling of Izabel’s arm around his waist reassured him he’d made the right call, he’d just detonated the rest of his life.
“I’m so sorry, Matt,” Izabel said, trying to process what had just happened.
Matt held her hand tightly as they navigated their way to the exit. As the doors opened, rain blasted their faces as if the heavens were crying for them all. It seemed appropriate. A cleansing of sins.
He stopped in the street and cupped her face before kissing her desperately. It was a kiss of ownership, but also one that sought comfort. “I stood upstairs and realised I could only walk away with one thing. I could defend my brother and lose Luke. I could agree to lose you and keep the band. Or I could keep you and lose everything else. And you know what? It was the easiest fucking decision, Izabel.” He slipped his leather jacket off and placed it over her shoulders. It did nothing to keep her dry or ease the chill in her bones.
Her heart ached for him at the size of his sacrifice. “I’ve been selfish though. I wanted you. I wanted us. I honestly didn’t think Luke would react like that. But while it’s cost me my brother, it’s cost you everything.”
He ran his thumbs over her cheeks that must be streaked with mascara by now. Water dripped off the tip of her nose, her hair must be as wet and plastered to her head as Matt’s was.
“Do you love me, Izabel?”
“More than I can express in words.”
“Well, I love you in words I can. You wanted one day like this. Now, I want a lifetime like it. I want you and me in the good and the bad. I want to dance with you at lame weddings. Hell, maybe one day I’ll get down on one knee and then we’ll dance to lame songs at our own. I want to stand in the rain with you as everything else falls down around us, strong in the knowledge we love each other. I want to make love with you when the world seems like it’s at its darkest, and I want to hold you as the sun rises to tell us it’s another fucking day. Another fucking day like this. I’ll love you when the stars align and even when they don’t.”
In his arms, bathed in the words he’d said, it didn’t matter that everything had changed, because the two of them hadn’t. Unable to reply, she stood up on her toes and kissed him, hoping her lips conveyed everything she felt. She hoped he could feel the turmoil, the anguish, the sorrow, but also the love and hope she felt for the two of them.
“Let’s go home,” he muttered against her lips.
“I’m homeless.”
“No, Iz. You’ll always have a home with me. Do I need to spell it out? My heart is yours and so is my home.”
She needed time to think if that was best. She’d bounced from Harry, to living with her brother. There was a piece of her that felt as though she needed to try living on her own for a little while.
But tonight, she needed sleep, and a roof, and somewhere to get dry.
More importantly, she needed Matt, she needed to sleep safely in his arms.
“You should be a song-writer you know,” she said.
“Really, I hadn’t considered it.” Matt’s sad smile made her melt.
The doors to the club burst open and both of them turned to see Jase run towards Matt.
Izabel felt Matt’s hands push her out of the way as Jase launched himself at Matt taking him to the cobbled pavement with a sickening crack. Jase grabbed Matt by the collar of his shirt and punched him straight in the face. “I fucking hate you.” The words were spat out with venom.
“Jase, stop. Please,” she yelled as stepped forward to break them up but realised quickly there was no way she could separate them.
“Please,” she shouted to the doormen of the venue. “Stop them. Break them up.”
One of the men shrugged and turned back to the club. Fucking useless.
Matt managed to free his hands and put his hand around Jase’s throat. “You’ll lose this, Jase,” he growled.
“Lose. We just lost fucking everything,” Jase said, punching Matt in the side of the head.
Matt managed to roll them over, to change their places. When he hit Jase, he held nothing back. Blood sprayed from Jase’s nose as he punched him.
Izabel pulled out her phone, about to call the police, when Ben and Alex thundered out of the club, looking up and down the street.
“Ben,” Izabel screamed.
“For fuck’s sake, Matt,” Ben yelled as he and Alex dragged Matt off Jase. “Jase. Fucking give it up, man.”
Matt was finally on his feet, with Ben’s arm around his chest. Jase rolled onto his knees, shaking his head as he wiped the blood from his nose on his shirt. Unsteadily he got to his feet, then lurched in Matt’s direction.
Unable to think of anything else to do, Izabel hurried between the two of them. “Stop it,” she yelled. “Please, just stop.”
“You couldn’t even let me have the band, could you?” Jase spat.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“You got everything else, Matt. You got the brains. All I got was stupid comments about how I wasn’t like my brother. You probably have some half-decent guy as your dad, mine is a jailbird. I get that Iz didn’t want me, but that doesn’t mean I want to see her with you. You got all the song-writing talent. You got Luke. If the band falls apart, you’ll go start a new one. And where the fuck does that leave me? Shafted like fucking always.”
“Jase. It doesn’t have to be like that. Tomorrow, when everyone has calmed down we can—”
“You lied. To Luke. You’re best friend. How do any of us trust you?”
“I get it, Jase. And everything you just said. I understand. And I’m sorry if I contributed to you feeling like you’re less than—”
“Save it.” Jase glared over her shoulder at Matt. “We’re done. I don’t have a brother. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“Guys,” Ben pleaded. He turned to Matt. “I told you that you needed to speak to them You need to fix it. Jase, you don’t mean all this shit. Go home. Give it some time.”
Jase scoffed. “You knew? Fuck you, Ben. You knew and didn’t say anything. He’s an arrogant fucking dick. He screwed his best friend over with no remorse. You heard him, how the songs are his, how we can’t sing them without him.”
Matt dabbed the corner of his eye and winced, anger filling her.
“Jase, please don’t paint Matt as the bad guy. Luke’s rule was ridiculous. And you and me… it was a mistake that just made everything even harder. Matt’s done everything he can to make this as painless to the band as possible, as painless to me and this charity concert. Do you think it’s been easy, hiding this until the right time? I’ll tell you what we were going to tell Luke. We tried. We tried damn hard not to do this, and it nearly broke me. And then, when we realised it was something much bigger than we ever thought, Willow Warner made that video. And Matt knew. He knew telling Luke about us would ruin the biggest chance you’d ever been given. Everything he’s done has been in the best interest of the band. Don’t make him out to be the bad guy.”
Alex winked kindly at her, then placed his arm around her. “You love him, right?” he whispered. “This isn’t all for nothing, right?”
She looked up him. “No, it’s not for nothing, but I didn’t realise it would cost Matt everything.”
“Then do me a favour, Izabel. Don’t be noble. Don’t try and duck out of this. We know you. We know you hate conflict. Don’t leave him on the premise he can get the band back together by making it right with Luke. Be selfish. Fight for him and you. Something would blow these two up eventually. And something will patch them back together.”
“Fuck off, Alex,” Jase said petulantly.
“No,” Matt said, shaking Ben lose. He stepped closer to Jase. “You're standing there, pretending to be offended for Luke, pretending to be offended you can’t play the songs. But don’t you ever look at me and pretend we both don’t really know this is about Izabel.”
“You’re smoking crack, man,” Jase said mockingly as the rain stopped suddenly. The street suddenly seemed quieter, the scene less dramatic.
“No? So that night wasn’t about you finally seeing a chance with her? Wasn’t about you finally telling her exactly how you felt? Wasn’t about you getting her to fall in love with you? And how it came crashing down when you realised she was in love with me. How she called out my name as you fucked her?”
“Fuck,” Alex muttered next to her. “That right, Iz?”
Izabel rolled her head back and looked up at the stars, wishing they could swallow her up right now.
“You told him?” Jase asked, and the hurt in his voice cut through her.
She took a step toward him and reached for his hand. His fingers were cold, his hands shaking, belying the confidence he otherwise exuded. “I love him, Jase. And he couldn’t see past you and me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I told him, but he refused to even look at me because of one mistake.”
He looked up at Matt, his face devoid of any emotion. “You know what. Yeah. It’s a painful fucking memory. But if you think Iz is what this is about, you really don’t know me at all. You think you’re the only one that music means everything to? It frustrates the absolute shit out of that the only thing I can do is... Do you know what? I don’t owe you an explanation.”
He turned to walk up the street with his hands in his pockets.
“We’ll go after him, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” Ben said, tapping Alex on the shoulder.
“Remember what I said,” Alex said
“I will.” She turned to Matt as they walked. “Are you okay?”
“Dizzy as fuck from hitting the pavement with my head, but otherwise okay.”
“That sounds like concussion. Should we take you to A&E to get it looked at?”
“Nah. Just got my bells rung. You can wake me up every two hours and play nurse if you want though?”
“How can you make a joke, Matt? Everything just exploded.”
Matt sighed and slid his hand around her shoulders, steering them to the main road to grab a black cab. “Because what else can we do? We go to bed tonight. And when we wake up tomorrow, we start to make it right. We’ll give everyone time to calm down. We talk to Luke, we talk to the band, and see if we can’t fit the pieces back together. And if we can’t, then we get on with our lives.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“That’s because it is. I love you and you love me. We start there, Iz. Every time, we start there.”