As the sun broke the horizon the following morning, Matt shuddered, his chest against Izabel’s back, one hand gripping her hip, as he eased them down from their orgasms with slow and steady thrusts.
“You make the best fucking little spoon,” he murmured in her ear, and groaned when her soft laughter caused her to clench around his dick.
He didn’t want to leave her warmth and had felt like that since the previous evening. He’d taken her in the shower after he put them both in there with the sole intent to warm themselves up after getting soaked.
And then there had been the alarm Izabel had set, the one to go off every two hours to make sure he didn’t have a concussion after Jase had slammed his head into the pavement. For some reason he’d been horny as fuck. And not in a selfish way. He’d just wanted to be close to her. Intimate. In her space.
Sometimes it had been all about the kisses, the connection. Sometimes…he’d fucked her like he was jockey, and she was a prize stallion in the Grand National.
But what they’d just done, was make love in the slow and steady way someone already sated could do.
Izabel pulled away from him and he groaned as his dick slipped out of her. “I like when you’re big spoon,” she said, turning to kiss his chest.
His phone rang on the side table. “I should answer it given everything that happened last night.” He reached for it. “Hello.”
“Matthew Samuel Palmer. You will get your arse round to my house right now if you ever want me to speak to you again.”
“Nan,” he said roughly. “What’s up?”
“Did you or did you not hear me instructing you to get your arse around to my house?”
Matt rubbed his hand over his face. “I just woke up, I’ve not eaten and need to shower. Can you give me an hour?”
“No, Matt. I can’t.”
Then she hung up. He checked his phone. “Nan just hung up on me.”
“What did she want?” Izabel asked.
“She didn’t say, but my guess is it’s about Jase. He must have told her.” Matt flopped down onto the bed.
“I’m scared of what the next few days and weeks are going to bring, Matt.”
He pulled Izabel tighter against his side. “It’s just turbulent seas. Our first test. We weather this, we can weather anything.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Matt propped himself up on one elbow. “I know I’m right. Because this, right now, you and me. This is the best outcome. Everything else is gravy. And, yes, we’ve got some work to do, and we’ll do it. But I’ll not do anything at the expense of you and me.” He kissed the tip of her nose, wishing he could kiss the worry out of her eyes.
In one smooth move, he tossed back the covers and climbed out of bed. “Nan wants to see me right now. But even though she said no, I need to shower because I smell like you and us and sex.”
“That shouldn’t sound as hot as it does.”
Matt winked. “I’ll be back in an hour, and we can recreate it.”
Finally, Izabel smiled. “I’ll hold you to that.”
After a frantic five-minute shower and a quick jog, he pushed open the gate to his nan’s to find her watching for him from the living room window. She gestured to him to be quiet and then opened the door to let him in.
She clipped him around the back of the head. “What, in the name of baby Jesus, did you do to your brother yesterday?” Her words came out on a whispered hiss.
Matt rubbed the spot gingerly. “Steady, Nan. I’ve got a fucking concussion.”
“Concussion. I’ll give you more than a concussion. Look at my bannister.”
Matt looked over at the railing up the stairs with spindle broken at jagged angles. Anger was crystal clear in every broken one.
“Nan. Jesus. I’ll get it fixed.”
“Do you think I actually give a shit about broken pieces of wood? Wood is easy to fix. I just buy new spindles, paint them white, and my staircase is back to normal. But your brother… I’ve never seen him so…”
“Angry?” Matt suggested.
“Worse. He was broken. Completely beside himself. Half cut. Said a whole bunch of stuff that made no sense. He’d lost Ben. You’d blown up the band. Luke hit you. What the hell happened, Matt?”
“Is he still here?”
“No. I’m whispering because I feel like it. Of course he’s here. Asleep on the bedroom floor because he didn’t make it to the bed before he tired himself out. Haven’t seen him do that since those tantrums he used to throw when I used to make him wear a coat when he was four.”
Matt moved past his nan and flopped down into the armchair near the gas fireplace she never used. “They found out about me and Izabel.”
His nan sat down on the couch. “I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but even I figured that out.”
He put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. “Fuck. It’s a mess. We knew this would happen. That everything would explode. And I just wanted Izabel to get her concert for the shelter. So, we decided to wait to tell them. We were going to tell them today but then Izabel’s ex just happened to be there, and the next thing I know he’s spouting shit about the wedding. And Luke starts to put the pieces together...”
“And Jase.”
Panic he’d forced himself to keep buried in front of Izabel so as not to upset her bloomed and flourished. Matt shook his head, focusing on the narrow channel in the laminate flooring that Jase had accidentally created using a Stanley knife while building a castle for Year Seven history.
“What do you want me to tell you, Nan? We fought. Nothing new there. But I deliberately hurt him. I threw it back at him that the fight was because he didn’t want me to have Izabel. You want the details? When they… well, when they were together, she called out my name. Jeez. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. He tried to persuade her to go with him instead of staying with me. But then he says it’s not about her, and that I don’t have a fucking clue about what’s important to him. And the hurt on his face, in hindsight, is fucking killing me.”
“If you’d realised his hurt, would you have let her go?”
Matt shook his head. “No, Nan. I’d have let her choose if I’d have thought for one second she reciprocated his feelings.”
“You’d have let Izabel go?”
“I wouldn’t have wanted to be Izabel’s second choice. But I already knew where Iz’s heart was. Shit, Nan. She told me at the wedding three months ago I was her choice. I couldn’t say no to her then, and I wouldn’t say no to her now. I love her. It would have broken me into a million pieces to let her go. But losing the band is fractionally less painful.”
“Well, then you understand how I felt, because I lost them both to you.”
Matt didn’t turn, but he heard the fifth and third stair creak as Jase stepped on them. His nan looked at Jase, and Matt felt how stricken she was. “Jase, let me have a proper look at that face of yours, get it cleaned up, and then we can all sit down and talk this through,” she said.
“No offence, Nan, but you need to stop. There isn’t any fixing this,” Jase said, walking towards the front door.
“But the band. You’re finally doing so well.”
Jase turned around and Matt could finally see what had affected his nan. While Matt’s eye was swollen and bruised, both of Jase’s eyes were blackened and his nose a mess.
“Yeah. Well. Matt fucked it up for all of us. So, if you want to yell, yell at him.”
Jase put his hand on the door to leave.
“Wait,” Matt said, finding his feet. “Jase. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I had a premonition this was how it would end, and I just wanted Izabel to get the funds for the shelter before we blew everything apart.”
“Yeah. Well. Mission accomplished. Gig played. Funds raised. Pat on the back for you for being such a charitable little fella.”
Matt took a step toward him. “And I’m sorry for the comments I made about you and Izabel. It was out of order and by the sounds of it unnecessary.”
“Fuck off, Matt.”
His nan stood and placed a hand on Jase’s arm. “You loved her?”
Jase shrugged her hand off. “Once, Nan. But not now. But I’m pissed at this double standard. You remember the last time I looked like this it was Luke’s fist that did it. You remember why we didn’t implode then? Because I promised you and Luke I’d stay away. I stayed away even though it tore me up inside. Because you asked me to. Why couldn’t you stay away, too?”
“Because she’s gravity and I’m an apple. She’s the earth and I’m the moon who can’t stay out of her fucking orbit. I have no idea why I managed it for so long and then couldn’t any longer. She’s the fucking blessing I don’t deserve Jase, but I get I’m being a huge hypocrite right now. You’re right, I asked you to give her up. And now I’m asking you not to as the same of me.
Jase looked down at the floor and pursed his lips before blowing out a breath. “I knew you loved her. I’m your brother and I’m not fucking stupid. I even knew she loved you back then. I saw the way she looked at you, the way her eyes tracked you as you moved around the room. But, fuck… Did you have to blow up the fucking band when we were just about to make it?”
Matt moved close to his brother. Through the words of an adult, he heard an almost childlike plea. Control. He had no control over his external environment right now and it must be chewing him up inside. “Jase,” he said, reaching for his shoulder.
Jase shrugged his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me, Matt.” He yanked the door open and slammed it behind him as he left.
Nan jumped up and ran to the window. “He’s running off. Don’t just let him leave, Matt. He’s in a mess.”
Matt sunk his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “If I try and stop him, it’ll just turn into a fight.”
“Then I’ll go,” she said, kicking off her slippers and putting on the shoes she’d left by the door.
He reached for her gently. “Don’t, Nan. You only fall if you try and catch him. He needs time.”
Nan rubbed the heel of her hand over her heart. “You two are going to kill me off. I can’t deal with this.”
“I’m sorry, Nan.” He took her elbow and led her to the sofa.
“Go makes us both a cup of tea, lad,” she said.
And while he did, he wondered what a world without Jase or his nan in it would feel like.
Because they were all he had.
Except Iz.
“He’s not going to want to see us,” Izabel said as they walked down the stairs to Luke’s apartment. Her stomach roiled like the waves at Blackpool had been, all churned up by the wind.
Matt held firmly onto her hand. “No. He’s not. But we’ve given everyone forty-eight hours to calm down. He’s ignored our calls and messages. This can’t wait any longer.”
“I’m nervous,” Izabel admitted as they reached Luke’s floor. She stopped walking and peered nervously down the corridor, expecting to see him.
Matt pulled her to him and kissed her gently. “I know, babe. But he can’t do anything to you he hasn’t already done. He can’t kick you out again. Worst case, you just get to pick up your things and move them into my apartment. Best case, he’ll listen.”
“What if he gets really mad?”
“I hate to say it, but I can take Luke if I need to. And to be honest, if he lashes out at you, I can’t be held responsible for what I do to him. But I’m hopeful it won’t come to that. He gets really mad, we leave. Right?”
Izabel blew out breath. “Right.”
Matt took her hand again, his strength helping restore some of her shattered confidence. She knocked on the door and waited for Luke to answer. When they heard shuffling on the other side of the door, then nothing, Matt knocked again. “Luke. We know you’re in there. Izabel still has her key so we’re going to let ourselves in if you don’t open up.”
The door opened. Luke looked like shit and her heart hurt for him. Slightly bleary eyed. Obviously unshowered from the smell of him. “The pair of you can just fuck off.”
Matt went to speak, but Izabel put her hand on his arm to stop him. She faced her brother. “I know you’re pissed off right now, but it’s still just the two of us. We’re all we’ve got. Even if you don’t want it to be. And I really need to talk to you. Please, Luke. Let me explain.’
Luke eyed Matt over Izabel’s shoulders, then slouched back into the apartment.
Izabel turned to Matt for reassurance, and he winked at her as he tipped his chin toward the living room. “You lead. I’ll follow you, babe.”
Luke’s apartment looked like an environmental hazard. Indian takeout containers and a pizza box along with more beer bottles and cans than she could count littered most of the horizontal surfaces.
“Are you doing okay?” Izabel asked, sitting down near him on the sofa.
Matt remained standing and perched on the windowsill.
“Fucking glorious, Izabel.” Luke folded his arms. “My band just collapsed.”
“Will you let me explain? I really need you to understand.”
Luke glanced up at Matt. “How could you do this, Matt? How could you destroy everything? The band. Our friendship. Your own brother.”
“I love her,” Matt said simply. “I didn’t want to fuck everything up. But I’ve had feelings for her for nearly a decade.” Matt moved the chair opposite the sofa. “You made me promise never to touch her. I watched her grow into this amazing woman. But I couldn’t have her. You want to know why I fucked around. Because I was trying to find Iz in every woman I slept with, and, shocker, she wasn’t fucking there. I saw her watch me. I saw how she was always home when I came over. I just loved being around her, Luke. And it fucking destroyed me when she slept with Jase. At least as much as it messed with you. He ploughed straight through his promise to you, and I was never able to settle that score with him…because you would have fucking known how much I loved your sister.”
Luke huffed. “So, you’re shit at keeping promises. We’ll add that to the list of fuck-ups.”
“Luke,” Izabel pleaded. “I know you’re mad at the world right now. But acting like this isn’t helping anyone.”
“Oh, fuck off, Iz. Do you feel shitty right now?”
Izabel nodded. “Shittier than I’ve ever felt.”
“Good. Then you understand fifty percent of what I feel. Because both of you let me down. You have no fucking idea what it felt like when Jase, one of my band mates, a guy who can barely stand some nights, a guy who is more of a fucking manwhore than you were, violated you.”
She could feel Luke’s hurt. “Why I slept with Jase that night is utterly complicated, but let me clear, Jase didn’t violate me. He didn’t do anything without consent. It’s my consent that’s all fucked up. I shouldn’t have given it. Not because of Jase, but because of Matt. And it should never have been an issue because you should never have made Matt promise. The part you need to take responsibility for is thinking and acting that you had a say in who I fell in love with.”
“That isn’t what I did, Iz. I just wanted someone better than my mates for you.”
“But it wouldn’t have worked. Ever. Because I love Matt. And he loves you as much as he loves me. It’s not fair to tear him apart like this. You know who he is.”
Luke looked over at Matt. “I can’t stand to look at you right now.”
“I know,” Matt said. “And yet, I’m still here. I’m here because I’m dating your sister, and one day I’m going to marry her. I’m here, because you’re my bandmate, and we are so close to the dreams we’ve had for years coming true. I’m here because Izabel’s right. I love you more than my own brother.”
Luke rubbed his hand over his face. Izabel could feel how raw Luke felt. But she could also feel they were breaking through. It was in the dropping of his shoulders It was in his sigh. It was in the way he unfolded his arms and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
She knew her brother, and the elastic band around her chest loosened slightly.
“We’re all we’ve got,” she said quietly. “Please don’t make me choose between you and Matt. I don’t have anywhere near as much family as I want, Luke. You’ve been the only constant.”
Luke blew out a breath, much like she had in the hallway, and then he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her tight. “You don’t have to choose, Iz. But I don’t have to like it.”
“I know. But it’s not fair to forgive me and not forgive Matt. It’s not fair to tell me I don’t have to choose, when you’re making Matt choose between his best friend and me, his band and me. Play it out, Luke. What if he chooses you? It’ll destroy me. The last three months have been the happiest of my life. Matt’s given me the confidence to tackle the concert, to get Gemma to stop taking advantage of me. He’s made me happy, Luke. What if he chooses the band?”
“Babe, you know that’s not going to happen,” Matt said. “Knowing you have my back makes me feel like I can handle all this.”
She glanced over at him and voiced the fear she’d been guarding. “Not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But there’s every chance that at some point in your life, you’ll look back at this moment and wish you’d chosen differently. If you don’t get another chance like this one. If you move on from music as a career. I couldn’t bear it if you look at me with regret.”
“Fuck it. Will the two of you stop it with The Notebook shit?” Luke stood up a turned to Matt. “You broke my trust. No, you fucking destroyed it. You lied to me for months. I can’t trust you any further than I could throw you, right now. And that kills me. She was there that night. She’s Candle Girl, isn’t she?”
Matt stood. “She is. I know. And I’m so fucking sorry. But I promise you. She’s my everything.”
Luke looked over to Izabel. “You certain, sis?”
Izabel nodded. “You know he’s a good man, Luke. This is the first time he’s ever let you down. But it’s only because of a promise you put in motion, one you should never have forced any of them to make.”
Luke studied the floor for a moment. “I don’t know how we move forward.”
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise, Luke. I’ll show you how sorry I am,” Matt said.
“It’s going to take a while. To be honest, I don’t even want to see your faces right now.”
Matt offered his hand toward Luke. “I know. Just let us try and put this train back on its tracks. It starts with you, Luke. With you, we can fix everything else. With the band fixed, I hope even Jase will forgive me.”
Luke took Matt’s hand and shook it. When Matt pulled Luke in for a hug, tears stung Izabel’s eyes. Luke whispered something to Matt that Izabel couldn’t hear properly, but Matt nodded viciously.
When they were done, Matt stepped away and Izabel moved in Luke’s embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His arms held her securely. “You’re right. It’s not my place to decide for you. I guess I thought I was filling a gap Dad left. Looking out for you and shit.”
“Nobody could replace Dad. And that wasn’t what I needed. I just needed my brother. We’re all we’ve got right?”
Luke stepped back. “I’m not all you’ve got anymore. You have Matt.”
“I’ll only ever have one brother, Luke. You know it’s not the same. I love you.”
“I love you, too, sis.”
“Are you okay?” Izabel asked, looking towards the door where Matt waited for her.
“I’ll be fine. We’ll get through this.”
She smiled at Luke and then headed for Matt who was still watching her brother as he placed his hands on the windowsill to look out to the street below. When he pulled her close, he kissed the side of her neck chastely. “You want to hang out with your brother tonight, Iz?”
How could he tell? “You don’t mind?”
Matt cupped her face and ran a thumb along her cheek. “No. I think it’ll do you both good. I’ll go grab something healthier than take out and drop it outside the door. I’ll text you when it’s there. He needs you more than I do right now.”
“This is reason two thousand and three hundred why I love you.”
Matt smiled softly. “I still love you more.”
She watched the door click shut before grabbing a black bin bag from the kitchen. Quietly she started to toss all the rubbish into the bag.
“You’re still here?” Luke asked.
“Yeah. I’m still here. Somebody’s got to dig you out of this environmental hazzard.”
“Why didn’t you leave with Matt?”
She placed the half-filled bag on the coffee table. “Because I’ve spent the last forty-eight hours worried you’d never speak to me again. And now you are, I don’t want to leave right now.”
Luke shoved his hands into his jeans. “Want me to order something for dinner?”
“Matt’s getting us something and will leave it outside.”
Luke flinched. “I don’t need Matt to buy us—”
“I know you don’t need it,” she said. “But let him. We need to navigate our way through this. Me being here with you now is my way of doing that. You forgiving me is yours. Matt’s is to give us space and feed us while we fix what’s broken.”
Luke was silent for a moment. “Want to carry-on watching Great Canal Journeys?”
Izabel smiled. “Yeah. I feel like a dose of Pru and Tim is just what we need right now.”
And when they finally sat down to a dinner of pre-cooked chicken and salad as Tim and Pru steered their canal boat over the Pontcycyllte Aqueduct on the Llangollen canal, Izabel realised everything was going to be okay.
Matt rolled over in bed and reached for Izabel, only to feel her side of the bed was cold. For a moment, he wondered where she was, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair as memories of the previous evening flooded him.
His chest cracked open in relief.
The relationship he had with Luke wasn’t broken irrevocably. Sure, it was a long way from being fixed, but the damage done was repairable.
Keys rattled in the lock of his apartment door, and his pulse kicked up a notch. Izabel was back. He closed his eyes, putting his arm over his eyes so she wouldn’t see his eyes flicker. First came the thud of her shoes as she kicked them off, then the clatter of her keys in the dish, followed by her footsteps on the wooden flooring and the creak of his bedroom door.
Matt bit back smile when the covers pulled over his body and the mattress sagged. She’d come back to him, like he knew she would. He was as certain of her love for him as she was his love for her. Just as she’d settled down onto her pillow, he grabbed her and pulled her close, as she squealed.
“Matt. You scared me. Feel my heart.” She took his hand and placed it on her chest.
He cupped her breast, letting his thumb track lazily over her nipple. “I’d rather feel something else.” Matt kissed her softly, in a way he hoped told her without words how he’d missed her in his bed.
“You have my permission to feel anything you want.”
Matt slid his hand over her arse, letting his finger slip between her cheeks. “Anything?”
“Feel. Not penetrate. Two very different things, Matt.”
He felt her smile against his lips and rolled them so she was lying on top of him. “I love the feel of your body on top of mine. I can run my hands up and down your back, can squeeze your bum, can grind against you.” He raised his hips and felt his dick slide against her. It never took Iz long to get turned on, to get so wet for him that he could slide into her. But this morning, he enjoyed her in lazy appreciation. The way her skin always felt so soft, how her hair framed her face and tickled his chest, the way her breasts pushed up against him.
“You’re such an easy lay,” she said
Matt shrugged. “Not always. The way I took you from behind in Blackpool suggests I like a good energetic fucking.”
The sound of Izabel’s laughter filled the room. “Fine. I meant you’re easy to please.”
He slid his dick back a little further, one millimetre short of being able to slide into her, which, as tempting as it was, was a no without contraception. Having kids together, creating the family unit they’d both missed, was something he wanted. But he didn’t want it yet. He wanted time and experiences and memories with Iz first, just the two of them. “If by that you mean simply having you naked in my bed means I’m a satisfied guy, then yeah, I’m an easy lay.”
Izabel climbed to her knees and reached over to the beside drawer he kept condoms in. She ripped the top off and slid it onto his dick, his whole body flinching as she gripped him the process.
“Somebody’s eager this morning,” he said, watching as he lifted to her knees. Izabel held his dick so it was just touching her warmth. Slowly, she slid the tip back and forth with barely any pressure.
“Are you complaining?”
Her hips were so fucking distracting, the way they rocked back and forth. Fuck, his dick was already weeping. “The only complaint you’ll get from me is if you don’t sit down on my dick in the next five seconds.”
Izabel lowered a fraction, enough to hold him inside, then placed her palms on his chest. Her lips, soft and plump, touched his as she sank on to him in one smooth stroke.
“Jesus, Iz.” The words came out on a gasp. “Work me, babe.”
She looked between them, where they were joined, and Matt followed her gaze. Nothing in the world was as erotic and sexually satisfying as watching Izabel part for him, watching the way her lips dragged along his cock. Fire burned on his balls for her. His heart beat for her.
“Like this?”
Matt reached for her hair and slowly tugged on it until her chest was flush against his and her hands in his over his head. Some might consider it a position of submission, until he raised his knees, planted his feet, and began to fuck her.
“Matt.”
“You like this? You like me fucking you deep and hard, Iz?” he grunted.
She made a move as if to lift off him, but he released her hands to wrap one arm around her chest, holding her to him. The other he placed on her arse, holding her exactly where he wanted her.
“You feel so thick like this.” The words were punctuated with little gasps.
Yeah, his ego soaked up the compliment. But he still wanted to feel closer. He flipped the over again, pressing Izabel into the mattress, sliding his hands beneath her to hold her in place while he fucked her.
Hard, deep.
But with her eyes on him, with her head thrown back as she came around him, as he felt her squeeze his dick.
He realised they were still making love because there was something much more potent between them than just sexual chemistry and urgency and need.
It was Iz.
And that thought alone was enough to send him over the edge with her.
He buried his head into the side of her neck, where he could smell her hair and feel her pulse race beneath her skin.
“Good morning, Matt,” she whispered, her hand in his hair, holding her to him.
His hands were still beneath her, holding her gently as he slowly rode out the rest of the orgasm. “Morning, Babe.” Matt kissed her cheek then rolled off her. After dealing with the condom, he gathered her into his arms. “Everything good between you and Luke.”
“At first I didn’t think he was going to talk to me. We ate tea, carried on watching Great Canal Journeys. But then…I didn’t realise how much responsibility Luke felt for me. I didn’t realise how much of a burden I was.”
“He said you were a burden?”
Izabel shook her head. “No. I’m paraphrasing. He told me stuff, about how tough it was to help me through college, and how proud he is of me, and how he worries about me working at the shelter, and how he knew I was keeping a secret from him, and it bothered him. And we talked about Dad. How his death is why you two dropped out of school. I always thought the band was why.”
Matt thought back to the day Luke had broken down in his room and told him that he was going to have to repeat the year because he’d flunked out so much and was terrified he’d let his dead father down in the process. “We’d have dropped out at some point, Iz. We were already making music at the weekends and evenings when we weren’t in college. Your Dad just sped it all up.” He threaded his hand into her hair, letting the stands fall through his fingers.
“At some point I fell asleep on the sofa, and he woke me at midnight to go to my old bed. Sorry I didn’t message but my phone died because my charger is here. But I woke up with an idea. I’m going to quit working with Gemma. Not immediately. But I’m going to build an event marketing business. Parlay the success of the charity concert into something bigger. Do it as a side hustle to begin with. You were right when you pushed me to do something big. I didn’t really have faith in myself.”
“But you do now, right? That’s amazing. We should think about moving to a slightly bigger place. Perhaps with a second bedroom we can set up as an office for the two of us.”
“Is that you asking me to move in?”
“Would you hate me if I said I was telling you, not asking.”
Izabel propped her head on one elbow and laughed. “As if you have say in what I do.”
“Fair. Perhaps I just didn’t want you to say no. I know you said you wanted some time on your own. But this. You and me. It’s really fucking good, Iz. We’ve done the sneaking around, living in different places. Now the world knows about us, I don’t want to go back to texting to find time to be together. Our lives are about to get messier with you starting your business on top of work, and the band taking off. Let’s not make it harder, because I really fucking miss you when we aren’t together. I miss talking with you about our day. I miss having you make sense of my feelings when I can’t. I miss the faith you have in me, the looks you give me, I miss your fucking smile, Iz. So, give me a break here and say we’ll do this.”
She pressed a kiss to his lips, soft and sweet. “Yes, Matt. I’ll move in with you. But let’s just make it work here for a little while and just rearrange the living room to add a long narrow desk near the window. We don’t need to spend more money or move to a bigger place.”
“Fine. It’s off to IKEA we go, then.”
“Oh, meatballs and tea lights.”
“What?”
“Did you even go to IKEA if you didn’t buy their meatballs and a bag of a hundred tea lights you don’t need?”
Matt laughed. “Luke might have been right when he called you Candle Girl. The candles were a giveaway I had company because you know lads aren’t lighting so many candles they become a fire hazard.”
“It’s called romance.”
“It was very romantic, but I did check the date on the fire extinguisher.”
“God, you men are dicks sometimes.” She laid her head back down on his shoulder. “What are you going to do about Jase?”
Matt reached for his phone and checked his messages. No response. “I messaged him last night. Tried to call. Went over to his place to see if he was there and Alex says he hasn’t seen him or heard from him either. He hasn’t even been home to pick up a change of clothes. I’m going to go and see Nan today. If anyone knows, she does.”
“Hope you can figure it out, Matt.”
“Yeah. Me, too. It’s more than just the spat though. We’ve fought before. It goes deeper. It goes back to when we were kids. I’m sure we could bandage us back together, find a way to set some kind of even keel so we can continue, but we’d break again. On stage, in a recording studio, fuck, it could happen at Nan’s. I think it’s time to go deeper, but I can’t do that on my own.”
Izabel kissed his chest. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need to do to make this right.”
Matt slipped his hand from beneath her and tugged the condom off. “Let me go deal with this and I’ll make us some breakfast.”
The rain lashed against the window as they sat at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of Rice Krispies. Matt thought about Jase. On a day like today, with water pouring down as if Noah and his floods were on the cards again, he just hoped Jase was safe and dry. Jase was shit with money, always needing more. What if he was stuck somewhere, broke, too proud to call him?
Matt pulled his phone out and transferred two hundred quid of his own money to Jase’s account. Enough money to get a room or a train.
“What do you want to do today? Beyond a trip to IKEA for desks,” he asked Izabel.
She was dressed in one of his hoodies and a pair of Birkenstocks. Utterly irresistible. “What I want to do is spend it on the sofa with you, watching movies while we snuggle under a blanket.”
“Done. I’m sold.”
Izabel sighed. “What I need to do is a million and one things to follow-up on the concert.”
“How much did it raise in the end?”
“That’s one of the things we need to finalise, but it’s somewhere in the region of four hundred thousand pounds. Got some big donors on the night. More than enough to help the shelter relocate.”
Matt’s phone rang and he looked down at it, hoping it was Jase. Disappointment flickered through him when he saw their manager’s name.
“Hey, Simon. What’s up?”
“Matt, are you sitting down?”
Matt laughed. “Yeah. Just eating breakfast.”
“Upper Street Records want to meet.”
Matt coughed, choking on his mouthful of cereal. “Don’t mess me with me, Simon. It’s been quite the fucking week already.”
“Yeah. Saw the footage on-line this morning, which, we should talk about anger management classes for you lot at some point. Or at least make a gentleman’s agreement that your fights will be done behind closed doors and away from cellphones. But you’re going to have to patch it the fuck up. Parker Moseley is a stellar A&R guy. His artists and repertoire have changed music trends more times than you and Jase have brawled. He wants to meet. He sees the potential. He also knows you’re a train wreck right now. He’s also heard footage of the band, with Jase singing and with you singing. He’ll take either set-up. You guys just need to decide.”
Matt dragged his hand over his face, through his hair. Could they really sign a record deal that excluded Jase? The immediate no in his gut was backed up by his brain. “We can’t leave Jase behind.”
“Then you need to get him on-board and fast. If Moseley takes you on, there will be rules. Consequences. Rule one is you’ll hit the studio with a producer of his choosing who has his own recording studio in Detroit, Michigan where it will be colder than a polar bear’s asshole in February, but they want you contained.”
Matt reeled, every third heartbeat felt like his chest would explode. “They want us to record in February?” His head did the math. Nine weeks from now.
Simon laughed. “Yeah. It’s fucking insane. But they really want to strike while the iron is hot. Parker is going to be in London next week. Wants to meet on Wednesday at Upper Street Records HQ in the UK. He’s heard the music, mate. This will be about vision. Where do you see yourself going? Where does he think you should go? Can you align? Will you work well together?”
He looked at Izabel who had one hand over her mouth and was rubbing reassuring circles on his back with the other. “Holy fuck. Yeah. We’ll be there. Just send us the details.”
“Of course. Big leagues, mate. Big leagues. You need to get Jase there too.”
Shit.
Of course. And he wasn’t answering their calls. “I’ll figure it out. Thank you seems totally inadequate.”
“It’s my job, but it’s also my greatest pleasure. You deserve the success that’s waiting for you, Matt. I’ll be in touch.”
Matt placed his phone down on the kitchen counter.
“So?” Izabel asked excitedly.
“One of the biggest record labels wants to meet us.”
“Holy shit, Matt. It’s finally happening for you.”