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Renee
“Damn, I shouldn’t have eaten those tacos,” Danielle said with a groan.
I gave her a sympathetic look. “Me neither, but they sure were good,” I added as I made a right at the next comer.
“Maybe we need to swing by my house for a few minutes so I can use the bathroom.”
“Uh-uh. We don’t have time for that. Reverend Brown is picking up Peaches in less than an hour. We’ve got to get to his house before they do.”
“If you say so.” She went quiet for a minute. I could feel her brain working and gave her the time she needed to think. “You sure you want to go through with this?”
“Damn straight.” It was time someone taught Reverend Brown a lesson. He had fucked-over a lot of women through the years, but this time he had messed with the wrong one. Kayla was one of the most committed people I knew, even to dogs who didn’t deserve it. She ended friendships over that fool when all Leroy had to do was love her. Instead, he wanted to put his hands on her. I just didn’t get it. Several years back, I had warned his ass to leave her alone, otherwise, I was going to expose his infidelities.
We were in Jamaica, and Nadine had spilled the beans that Leroy’s wife was pregnant with another baby. Kayla was upset. Me, Nadine, and my sister Lisa all tried to convince her to kick up her heels and get over that fool. Anyway, I was in our hotel room alone when the phone rang.
“May I please speak to Kayla?”
My brow rose with curiosity. “May I ask who’s calling?”
“Yes, a good friend.”
I sucked my teeth. “Uh-huh. This must be Reverend Leroy Brown.”
“Uh, no. You’ve got me confused with someone else. My name is Clarence.”
“Clarence, my ass,” I spat as I lowered onto the bed. “Reverend Brown, I know this is yo’ trifling ass. You need to be ashamed of yourself.”
“Who is this?” he inquired.
“Don’t worry about who this is,” I barked in the telephone. “What you need to be worrying about is me telling your pregnant wife about your latest escapade.”
“You wouldn’t do that,” he said, trying to sound all bold and shit.
“The hell I won’t. I love Kayla and don’t want to see her hurt. So, I’ll tell you what. You stay the fuck away from her and I won’t let the church know where you spend your Wednesday afternoons.”
“Now, sister, you don’t—”
“I ain’t your sistah. I know all about you sleeping with them Campbell twins and about you going to the motel with Bonnie, only to find out she was a he, so if I was you, I wouldn’t fuck with me, ’cause I play for keeps.”
He hesitated for a long moment. “So, what is it that you want?”
“For you to stay the fuck away from Kayla and I mean it. Let her have a chance to find someone who truly loves her, not the games you be playing.”
He started laughing. “You can’t stop me from seeing her.”
“Oh, yes I can. Personally, I don’t know what she sees in you. Now, what I should be asking is what the hell she wants with you and your little-ass dick. Oh yes, I’ve seen the pictures.”
“Pictures?”
I giggled inwardly before continuing. “Didn’t you know? See, you used to mess with Shanika Martin, who is really John-John from over on Eighth Street. One afternoon when he—oops—I mean she, had your arms tied to the bedpost, she had her older sister, Ursula, in the closet taking pictures. You should be ashamed of yourself. Does your wife know you’re on the DL?”
“I’m n-not on the d-down low,” he stuttered nervously.
“That’s what they all say.”
I laughed in his face and finally I heard him sigh and say, “I do love, Kayla.”
“Then if you truly love her, you ’ll leave her alone.”
“What will I tell her?”
“The truth. You never had any intention of leaving your wife.”
“That’s not true. I did. It’s just hard when you have so many people looking up to you and then Darlene got pregnant and everything changed.”
“Yeah, yeah, save that sappy-ass story for someone who cares.” I heard the knob turn, so I spoke quickly. “Don’t call her again or else.” I hung up the phone.
Of course, Kayla found out and went off on me for butting my nose in her love life. Whatever. She needs me to fight her battles for her, and I’m more than happy to, especially since Leroy didn’t take my threat seriously. Now he was going to have to pay the piper. Kayla wasn’t strong enough to stand up to him, but I was.
In a way I guess I can say I owed Kayla one. I’m gonna quit faking the funk and tell you the truth. While in Jamaica, I did sort of fuck her man. He wasn’t actually her man, he was someone she was dating, but when she dropped him like a hot skillet, I was there to scoop him up. I didn’t even know she really cared about the man until she walked in while we were in mid-stroke. I’ve never seen her so hurt before. Well, I guess it’s time to pay my dues.
I pulled onto Rock Quarry Road and started searching for the house. “Alright, help me find it. Kayla says it’s at the end of the picket fence with red shutters.” I slowed the car to a crawl while we scanned both sides of the street. The dozen or so houses on the road were definitely off the beaten path.
“There it is.” Danielle pointed to a small ranch-style house on the left. The yard was in serious need of work. Weeds had taken over the flower beds. The screen door was swinging back and forth in the wind. “No wonder this place isn’t rented.”
“I think that’s just an excuse so he can justify keeping it for his own nasty pleasures.” I turned my nose up just thinking how stupid his wife was to put up with his mess. If it was John, I would have put a stop to this kind of shit a long time ago. The part that gets me is that everybody knows what’s going on at this house—and I do mean everybody. So why does Darlene just sit back and allow that mess to happen? I guess that’s the million-dollar question.
“I’m gonna park over here.” I pulled up in front of a house at the end of the street that was in the midst of construction and climbed out. The house looked to be recently framed, lumber was scattered everywhere. I would have to watch where I stepped because the last thing, I needed was mud on the bottoms of my new canvas sandals. “Okay, we need to hurry and go set up.” Danielle got out and we put our purses in the trunk, then I reached for a small camcorder.
“All right, let’s get into position.” I handed Danielle a digital camera and shut my trunk. As we moved down the street I glanced around to see if anyone was watching. Luckily, the street was relatively quiet.
Danielle’s eyes were sparkling with amusement. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“Well, believe it,” I mumbled. I looked left to right, then zipped up the driveway. I ain’t gonna lie, my heart was beating hard. “Where’s the key?”
Danielle reached into the back pocket of her jeans and removed the key to his front door that we had to pry from Kayla’s hands. Can you believe she didn’t even want to give us access to Leroy’s house? I told you her ass is stuck on stupid.
Hands shaking, Danielle struggled with the door. While she fumbled with the lock, I glanced around and made sure no one was watching. “Hurry, girl.”
“I’m hurrying,” she replied in a shaky voice.
The last thing we needed was for Leroy to pull up while we were breaking into his house. Finally, the door opened, and we quickly slipped inside and turned the lock behind us. We took a deep breath and tried to get our hearts to stop racing. Breaking into someone’s home was some crazy shit. Thank goodness the crime rate in the area was low and folks in this neighborhood didn’t feel the need to install security systems.
I clicked on the light, then glanced around the living room. Nothing special, but definitely nicer looking than the outside. Worn brown leather furniture. Beige carpeting. Big-screen television and an entertainment center, which included a complete stereo system. Pornographic magazines were spread out on the coffee table. “Look at this shit,” I said with a hint of disgust.
‘What do you expect from a sleazeball?”
“I guess.” I clicked off the light and followed Danielle down the hall. The only room with a bed was the last room on the end. Queen-size bed. Dresser with television on top. A private bathroom to the right, directly across from a closet with two folding doors. I pulled back the doors and stepped inside, then pointed the camcorder toward the bed. Filming would require keeping the door slightly ajar, but other than that, we had a clear shot. Danielle and I took a seat on the bed while we got our equipment ready.
“Girl, he’s gonna die when he finds out what we’ve done,” Danielle said as she put film inside the camera.
“Well, let’s hope he doesn’t find out.”
The plan was to video Reverend Brown fucking Peaches, then pass the tape around to all the church members. He humiliated Kayla, and in turn, we planned to destroy his entire world. That would teach him to fuck with me and mine.
Danielle turned to me and paused before saying, “You know I’m down for whateva you want to do, but you sure you want to take it to the extreme? The church ain’t gonna take lightly to him being on the DL.”
I scowled. “Then he should have thought about that.”
I have never been considered a Christian woman— goodness, no, not with my nasty mouth and track record. But I believe there is a God in heaven watching over us. Truth be told, He needs to do something about all these hypocrite pastors, preaching in the pulpit on Sunday and fornicating all the other days.
I took the camera from her. “You should have made Kayla come with us.”
Danielle pursed her lips. “You know as well as I do, she doesn’t like confrontation. That’s why she stood there and let that man beat her ass.”
I removed the cap from the camera and handed it back to her. “Make sure you use this button here to zoom in real close to his face. I don’t want there to be any question as to who is in that bed with Peaches.”
“All right,” she replied. “Ooops! Excuse me.”
“Excuse you for what?” And then the smell hit me. “Damn, Danny! Ugh!” I moved over toward the bathroom and tried to gulp as much fresh air as I could.
“Sorry.” She fell onto the bed, laughing her ass off.
“Damn, girl, you can’t be doing that shit!” I yelled even though I had laughter in my voice.
“I told you I shouldn’t have had those tacos.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Stanky ass.” I was still laughing and holding my nose while I moved over to the closet “Come on. Let’s get in position before they get here.” Other than a few clothes hanging in the closet it was relatively empty. Danielle rose and slid in on the right side of the closet and I was on the left. “Don’t even think about farting up in here,” I warned.
“I’m good now.”
I lowered onto the floor, turned on the camcorder and decided I’d better practice recording before they got here. While gazing down at the screen, I pressed the red button, then said, “We are here in the closet of Reverend Leroy Brown’s house on Rock Quarry Road where he meets all his freaks. In a few minutes he will be arriving with his Monday night flavor.” I pressed Pause and Danielle and I died laughing. “You’re crazy!”
I had tears in my eyes. “I was trying to keep from laughing. Can you just imagine them church folks’ faces when they get this tape?”
“I wish I could be a fly on that wall.”
“So do I.” I lowered the camcorder to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. Danielle crossed her legs Indian-style and slid farther in the corner. There was a long silence while we waited and listened. My phone was on vibrate, awaiting Peaches’ call. “So, tell me, what’s up with you and Calvin?”
“Like what?”
I could tell she was trying not to laugh. “You know what I’m talking about. Did you give him some?” Danielle slid her sandaled foot over to my side of the closet and nudged me playfully in the leg. “You nosey.”
“Damn right. I want to know what’s going on. So, did you give him some or what?” I wasn’t ashamed about asking because like we always say, “Inquiring minds want to know.”
Danielle clicked her tongue. “Ain’t you nothing. I would have gotten me some if you didn’t come bangin’ on the door Saturday night like a damn fool.”
“My bad.” I shrugged and tried to appear nonchalant about the whole thing. “Hey, I can’t help but feel some type of way. I mean, come on, I think you should have been woman enough to have at least told me first,” I said with a little hurt in my voice. I wasn’t really hurt, just wanted to make Danielle feel bad about fucking around with one of my exes.
“True. And if I had told you, would that have made it okay?”
“No,” I said after a long moment “But at least I wouldn’t have been surprised.”
She nodded, understanding where I was coming from. “Actually, I don’t know how I hooked up with Calvin in the first place because even though he’s fine, you know he isn’t my type. But after that shit went down at the club with Ron, he followed me home to make sure everything was okay. Then while he was there, Ron started bangin’ on the door and actin’ a damn fool, and I thought to myself, why do I need this drama in my life when I’ve got this nice man sitting in my living room? One thing led to another and Nae-Nae girl, the next thing I knew we were up in my bed.”
I couldn’t resist a grin. “Did you get a chance to see what he was working with?”
Her eyes sparkled, the way they do when you’ve got a secret you’re dying to tell. “Shit, yeah. He’s got a nice dick, but Ron’s got him beat.”
My eyes grew large. “What?” She was nodding and grinning at the same time. All I could do was shake my head. “Damn, I guess so, since you put the negro’s name on your car. Is he on your house, too?”
She stuck her middle finger up at me. “Forget you. I ain’t that stupid.”
“I hope not.”
“Nah, I ain’t that crazy. Although Ron could patent that thang and make a lot of money.”
“And my ass would be at the front of the line,” I joked.
Laughing, Danielle reached over and gave me a high five. “I know that’s right.” She added, “Ron’s been calling for the last two days, driving me crazy.” “He’s fine, but that negro’s psycho. What’s he goin’ to do about scratching up your car?”
“He said he’ll have it painted if I take him back.” Danielle rolled her eyes. “Girl, I’m not taking that fool back no matter how good he is in bed. All I want is my car.”
“Is he going to give it back?”
“Nope.”
I shook my head. “You sure know how to pick ’em.”
“Yeah,” she admitted around a frustrated breath. “I don’t know why, but that type of man turns me on.”
“Yes, they turn me on, too. But you fuck ’em and send ’em back home to Mama.”
She rested her chin on her knees. “I know. I just keep hoping that one of these days I’ll be able to change one of them.”
“When you’re competing with the streets, you can’t change them mothafuckas.”
“You right.”
My cell phone vibrated. “Ooh! That’s Peaches letting us know they’re here!” I hurried and shut off the light, then moved back into the closet and closed the folding door. “It’s showtime.” We waited for what felt like forever. Danielle was breathing so hard, I leaned over and tapped her arm. “Girl, quit breathing so hard or he’ll hear us.”
She cupped her mouth with one hand. I was starting to get nervous, so I had to make myself breathe deeply through my nose and out my mouth. As soon as I heard the key turn in the lock, my pulse jumped, and I felt like something was lodged in my throat. Relax, I kept telling myself. I was doing this for Kayla and there was no way I could fuck this shit up. I slowly reached over for the camcorder and held it up, pointing it through the small space between the two folding doors. Danielle grabbed her camera and pointed it through a corner at the other end. We were both ready. Voices drew closer and I knew they were coming down the hall toward the room.
Reverend Brown stepped into the room and turned on the light. He then paused, sniffed, and said, “What’s that smell?” I held my breath; certain we’d been caught. Dang, had Danielle’s fart lingered that long?
Peaches stepped into the room, then dropped her hands to the waist of her low-riding jeans as he spat, “That’s yo’ bottom lip ya smelling. Now shut up and go get dressed.”
I gasped and snickered at the same time. That’s my girl.
Reverend Brown looked at Peaches for the longest time, eyes blinking. I was hoping he wasn’t going to punch Peaches in the mouth because if he did, we would’ve jumped out and handled that mothafucka gangsta-style. Instead, he stared over at him with his hands cupped in front of him before he finally replied in a soft baby voice, “Yes, Mommy.”
Yes, Mommy? Hold the fuck up.
Danielle and I turned to each other and even in the dim closet I could see her stunned expression. What’s really going on?
Like a good little boy, Leroy moved to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Peaches looked over at the closet and squinted her eyes like he was trying to see if we were inside. I quickly stuck out a couple of fingers so she would know the show was about to begin.
Peaches was doing the damn thing. Micro braids were hanging loose around her shoulders. I could see she was wearing long Lola Falana eyelashes and had her lips painted red. His slender body was wearing the hell out of a pair of white Capri jeans and a halter top exposing a flat stomach and a pierced belly button. She looked like a pretty teenage girl.
I watched as she moved over to the radio and tuned the station to KISS 106.1. They were playing oldies but goodies. The Black-Eyed Peas’ female singer was talking about her lady lumps, and Peaches was wiggling her little flat ass. By the end of the song, the bathroom door opened, and Leroy came out. My mouth dropped to the floor. There he stood in the middle of the room, wearing a big-ass diaper with a pacifier in his mouth.
It was a good thing the music was on loud because Danny started laughing. I quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. “Be quiet or you’re gonna ruin everything,” I warned softly near her ear. Danny nodded and I slowly removed my hand. I pressed the red button on the camcorder and started filming. I ain’t never seen no crazy shit like that before. Leroy was walking around the room like he was an eighteen-month-old baby.
“Good boy,” Peaches replied. He was getting a kick out of playing the mama. He handed Leroy a rattle— he dropped his pacifier and started shaking the toy up and down and laughing.
“Goo goo, gaga.”
I turned to Danielle and we started laughing and covering our own mouths at the same time. I almost dropped the camcorder. This shit was better than a movie. He reminded me of that cartoon character Baby Huey. My brain was already churning. I couldn’t wait to see his wife’s face when she got a copy of this tape. Leroy crawled around the floor, playing with his rattle, then tossed it across the room. Peaches retrieved it and as soon as he gave it back to Baby Louie, he tossed it again, laughing and hitting Peaches upside his head.
“Bad baby. I’m going to spank you for that”
I wanted to laugh so bad I was ready to pee on myself. Peaches took a seat on the bed and had Baby Louie lie across his lap with his head facing the closet. She spanked him across his butt and Leroy wailed like a baby although what I saw was smiles while he howled in pleasure. It seemed that the sick bastard liked being spanked.
“Now, go play and be a good boy,” Peaches said with a pat to the head.
Sniffling, Baby Louie climbed off her lap and moved over to the floor to play with a small ball. He rolled onto his back and played with his toy while gurgling and slobbering like he was teething. After a while he stopped playing and stared over at the door. He was lying so still I just knew he could see us in that closet My pulse raced. Oh boy, now what?
“What are you doing?” Peaches asked in a sweet-potato-pie voice. He walked over to where the baby was lying on the floor and sniffed. “Did you boo-boo on yourself?” he asked, and Baby Louie started sucking his bottom lip and began crying. I wanted to say, nah, that’s Danny’s stinky ass you smell. Peaches moved closer, then leaned over and put his nose down near his rear. “Ugh! You did boo-boo on yourself.”
Baby Louie started crying hard and sounded so pitiful, I almost felt sorry for him.
“There, there, don’t cry. Mama’s gonna change you then I’m going to give you a bottle and put you to sleep.” Peaches took his hand and led him over to the bed where he made him lie down. While Baby Louie lay there crying and slobbering all over the damn place, Peaches moved over to a small duffel bag and removed a clean diaper and a pack of baby wipes. I looked over at Danielle with my brow raised. I know he ain’t about to do what I think he’s about to do. I looked back in the camera as Peaches unpinned the diaper and, damn ... Baby Louie really had shit in his pants. Hell, nah! Peaches pulled off the funky diaper, then wiped his big, black ass with a baby wipe. I couldn’t contain my laughter, and neither could Danielle. We both tried to hold it in the best we could, but it was impossible, and by the look on his face, I could tell Leroy had heard us.
“Oh shit,” Danielle mumbled.
Shit was right. She was laughing and groaning at the same time until the smell radiated over to my side of the closet. I thought I was going to pass out. Danielle’s stanky ass had farted one of those quiet, hot farts that smells so bad you can’t breathe, or you’ll throw up if you do. I tried to quiet her and hold my breath at the same time and couldn’t. The smell from the closet and the room was just too much to bear.
“I’ve got to get home so I can go to the toilet.”
We burst out the closet at the same time. Leroy was lying there like a good little boy while Peaches pinned on a clean diaper. As soon as the doors flew open, Peaches fell backwards onto the floor with a thump.
“What the ...” Sitting up, Leroy’s voice trailed off and his eyes grew large when he noticed me standing there. “What is going on?”
Still on the floor, Peaches sucked her gold teeth and faked ignorance. “That’s what I wanna know, too.”
Danielle pushed past me and dashed into the bathroom, leaving me to face Leroy alone. He looked like he was ready to beat my ass, so I swallowed and put on a tough front real fast. Maybe I’m crazy, but I ain’t that damn crazy to think that mothafucka wouldn’t hit me.
“What’s goin’ on? I should be asking you that, lying here in a big-ass diaper.”
His demeanor changed as he suddenly remembered he was role-playing. “Why are you in my house?”
“I wanted to confront you in person about what you did to Kayla.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do and if you ever touch her again, I’ll show this tape to everyone.”
I could tell he hadn’t noticed I was holding a camcorder because his expression changed to rage. He jumped off the bed and tried to lunge at me, but Peaches had pinned one side of his diaper to the mattress, so when he tried to jump forward, he got yanked backwards and his head hit the headboard.
“Ow!” he cried, then struggled to free himself. Peaches looked from me to him, confused about what she should do before going to lend Leroy a hand.
By the look on his face, I knew it was time to get out of there. “Danny, let’s go!” I heard the toilet flush and I went back to the closet to retrieve the Polaroid camera. As I came around the bed, Leroy rolled off and came at me. I panicked and did the only thing I could do with my hands full. I kicked him hard in the nuts.
He screamed and buckled over in pain. I pushed and he fell onto the bed, then I jumped around him quick just as Danielle came out of the bathroom.
“Let’s go!” I grabbed Danielle’s hand, then dropped it. “I hope yo’ stanky ass washed after you flushed.”
“Nae-Nae, shut up,” she spat, then signaled for Peaches to come with us. “Leroy, don’t try and follow us, otherwise we gon’ tell everybody you’re a freak.”
Peaches fanned her hand. “Damn, Renee, what’s that smell?”
“That’s Danielle’s stanky ass.”
She shrugged. “I ate some bad beef. Let’s go.”
We dashed out the door and rushed into my rental car and pulled off. I couldn’t believe we had done it, but the evidence was right inside that camcorder.
“Y’all bitches are crazy!” Peaches threw her hands in the air.
I smirked. “Yes, we are!” We all started laughing and talking at the same time. It was too hilarious. “Peaches, I can’t believe you changed his diaper!”
“Yeah, right,” Danielle chimed in. “What the hell were you thinking?”
She sucked her teeth and leaned forward on the backseat. “I’ll do anything that fool wants as long as the price is right.” She waved a stack of twenty-dollar bills at us.
I was driving and looking over my shoulder at the same time. “Hell, nah! He’s pays you to be his damn mama. Shit, that’s crazy!”
“His mother died when he was a little boy. I guess he misses having a mother figure in his life,” Peaches replied around a snort.
I shook my head as I turned at the next corner. “And I thought I had seen and read it all. You know this shit is gonna end up in one of my books, right?”
“We know.” Danielle advanced the film in the camera and I heard it rewind. “I’m taking this right to the one-hour photo tomorrow.”
“How come you didn’t just use your phone?” Peaches asked.
Danielle frowned. “Uh-uh, I don’t want that shit sitting in my cloud forever.”
“I know that’s right.” I grinned. “Before I drop y’all off, I’m going to take this tape over to Tommy’s so he can get it copied and distributed. Wait ’til the first lady sees this shit.”
“Ooh, I will definitely be at church on Sunday.”
Peaches gave her usual throaty, goofy laugh and we joined right in. It was too hilarious for words. After a while, we grew quiet and listened to the English singer Ella Mai blaring from the radio.
“You think Reverend Brown is gonna take it out on Kayla?” Danielle asked.
I pondered that thought for a minute. He wasn’t supposed to know we were in the closet videoing him, but now that he knew, the first person he was going to contact was Kayla. There was no way I was getting her mixed up in this shit. “I’ll ask Tommy to go and pay him a visit.” I picked up my phone and while I drove, I told him everything that went down. He agreed to grab two of his boys and go by and see if he could catch Leroy before he left the house. Relieved, I still thought it would be a good idea if I went and hung out with Kayla just to make sure.
I turned my car at the next corner and noticed a white Impala waiting for the light to change. “Danny, isn’t that your car?”
“Where?” She broke her neck trying to look through the windshield.
Peaches started laughing. “Yep, and that’s Nita’s sticky-finger ass behind the wheel.”
“Hell, nah!” For the right price, Nita could steal anything out of the store, and I do mean anything.
“Nae-Nae, turn this car around now!” Danny was hot and seconds away from blowing a fuse. I drove to the corner, then after looking both ways, made an illegal U-turn in the middle of the street and zoomed up to the corner. I watched the Impala make a left turn and I would have also made the fight if it wasn’t for some slow-ass Volvo driver in front of me who chose to stop instead of running the yellow light.
“Dammit! Move!” Danielle screamed. She was pissed and I don’t blame her. Her man stole her car and now had his ghetto-fabulous-ass mama driving it.
As soon as the light changed, I started blowing my horn so the Volvo would hurry and get out of the way. Luckily, they pulled over and I zoomed past the car and down the road.
“Which way did she go?” I asked, looking in both directions. She was nowhere in sight.
Peaches pointed straight ahead. “There she is, in front of that Expedition!”
Following his directions, I spotted the car a couple feet ahead. I drove through a yellow light and followed the car as she made a right at the next corner.
“His mama wasn’t allowed to drive my car while we were together so I don’t know what makes him think she can drive it now with her non-driving ass. He’s got life twisted!” Danielle kept mumbling on and on about the rent-to-own company calling her house asking her to let Nita know her furniture payment was past due. Drama, like I said, she can’t live without it.
Nita pulled into the housing project and parked outside a beat-up-looking unit. Some girl with her butt on her back came out and climbed in.
Peaches was starting to get excited in the backseat. “That’s Ron’s sister, Carmen. She ain’t nothing but a crackhead.”
I pulled up alongside the Impala and Danny rolled down her window.
“Uh, excuse me, Nita, but that’s my car you’re driving.”
Nita’s do-rag-wearing ass looked surprised, then pissed. “Nah, it ain’t. Dis Ronny’s ride,” she said angrily.
“How you gonna tell me whose car you’re driving? You and Carmen would want to get out of my car,” Danny demanded, her neck rolling.
“I ain’t got time to be gettin’ in the middle of y’all mess,” Nita said with a look of disgust “You gonna have to take dat up wit’ my son later. I just got my food stamps and we fin to go grocery shopping.” She peeled off down the road and by the time I reached the end of the corner, Nita was lost in the dust. We were sitting there, engine idling. I was cracking up.
“Girl, you’re always in the middle of some ghetto-ass shit!”
Danielle was shaking her head. “I don’t know why I always get the rejects.” She reached for her phone. “He’s got life twisted if he thinks he’s not comin’ up off my car.” I guarantee you she’s calling Ron.
Peaches clicked her tongue. “Nita and Carmen shop at Moser’s.”
I glanced over at Danielle. “You want me to drive over and see if she’s there? While they’re inside shopping you can hop in your car and take off.”
“Nah, as triflin’ as his mother is, I can’t do that and leave her stranded.”
“Why not? She can catch an uber.”
Danielle shook her head. “Nah, don’t worry ’bout it I’ll get it later.”
“Whatever you say.” I pulled off and listened as she and Ron argued on the phone. Danny didn’t want her car back because as long as Ron had it, she still had a connection to him.
