GOING HOME, GENNIE and I shared a taxi with my parents, the first moments we had been alone. They were shocked, of course, but mostly were concerned for Roxy and, it seemed to me, not above feeling at some level that Charles-Henri had brought down righteous vengeance on himself for his treatment of their daughter. There was a note of that, though they would have denied it. “It’s amazing, the workings of fate,” Margeeve sighed. Fate being, as I knew, a sometime code for divine judgment, which of course she didn’t usually believe in.
“This was a day I won’t soon forget,” Margeeve kept saying.
That night I slept on Roxy’s sofa, in case she should call out in the night, but she didn’t. I rose early, before she was up, and fed Gennie. When Margeeve and Chester got there, I said I had an errand, and went to the flea market to look at the stolen tureen. It was a way of keeping my mind off things. There is nothing your mind can do with a fact as immutable and unacceptable as death anyway, and I was denied the distraction of doing the busy work of death, Antoine and Roxy herself did all that, calling people, and giving statements. In Libération, which I read on the 85 bus, I found an account of a gunshot murder, by an irate American employee of EuroDisney, of his wife’s lover (name not mentioned) and the attempted murder of his wife. He had been arrested after a hostage drama at the park itself, according to this account, and was being held.
It was Mrs. Pace’s tureen, as I had known it would be. Stolen for a client (me) by thieves (who?) unaware of the coincidence that I myself had taken their photograph of it. But who had given them the picture, and the orders?
I asked to see more photographs. He had thirty or so in an envelope and laid them out before me. It wasn’t long before I found what I was looking for, as detectives say in books: photos of Suzanne’s living room at Chartres, featuring a nice array of faience plates that hang on the wall. “The Persands have wonderful old dishes,” I had said to Stuart Barbee. Stuart had seen the things they had given Roxy. They—someone Stuart knew—had “visited” and taken photos.
That Stuart Barbee could be involved in a ring of porcelain thieves seemed a bit farfetched, and so did the apparent fact that the porcelain thieves had been interested in the very files of Mrs. Pace that I had been asked to spy into, which would have to mean that Cleve Randolph was involved, even more farfetched. It would have to mean that the CIA was running a French porcelain thievery ring. To puzzle over this funny idea provided a certain amount of distraction I was grateful for, though I didn’t get far with a solution. But I did call the number of Huguette, the policewoman, at her bureau and leave a message, as I’d promised I would.
I was stupefied at the price of the tureen, twenty thousand francs, around four thousand dollars. I thought I had better leave its recovery to the police. I temporized by telling the dealer I’d have to see if I could get enough money together.
I have to admit I was thinking of maybe some slightly less expensive tureen, in view of the way things were turning out with Edgar. On the other hand, maybe the right existential geste would be to buy the really ruinous one for him. There were lots of tureens in the world, also pitchers and plates. I would just have to see.
Then I went back to Maître Albert, to the muted closeness of a morning after death. I was glad Charles-Henri had already removed his own things from Roxy’s apartment so we didn’t have to look at his shoes and his hairbrush. No one close to me had died before.
Roxy so brave, being beautifully brave. Admired by all for her grave dignity, the way she was bearing up, the imminence of her confinement. Her friends from around the Place Maubert brought tartes and pâtés. The day was flat, odd, long. Charles-Henri lay in a police morgue somewhere. They told us it might be a long time before the police would give him up for burial. Edgar brought the Abbé Montlaur to visit Roxy.
Roger reported in the afternoon that his employers were attempting to get Doug Tellman released on bail with a writ of habeas corpus.
“Yes, Isabel, habeas corpus exists in France,” said Edgar ironically when I exclaimed on the impossibility of that. “You Americans seem to believe that only Americans are unequivocally blessed. That all other nations on earth are constrained by the feebleness of their moral energy or the benightedness of their institutions.” Like last night, his tone was angry at me, as if he regretted knowing Americans. His tone burned deeper into the hollow burn in my stomach the death had brought on.
“I do?” I said.
“You Americans have the conviction—perhaps because you have been endlessly told it—that you are the freest nation in the world, which is hardly true. If one mentions, say, your murder rate, you say, ‘That is the price we pay for freedom,’ but one might like to ask, freedom for what? Freedom to walk safely down the street is not a freedom you have.”
I had not deserved this lecture, particularly. “I don’t think those things.” I perceived that I was being held responsible for all the deficiencies of my tribe. Even the Abbé Montlaur had a frosty expression of assent to Edgar’s words. “You mean Americans, you don’t mean me,” I protested.
“You are very American, Isabel,” Edgar said.
“Since France is so obsessed with liberté, no doubt they’ll let him out,” I said.
“I killed him,” shouted Roxy histrionically. We saw she had been dozing and had come awake with these words as if from a dream. “He was coming back to me. I know it. Why else was he there, in the building, last night?”
If she thought he was coming back to her, so much the better, though that made for an unbearable irony too, that he should have been struck down just then. Maybe he was. I was relieved Roxy had not really killed him. That was part of the moral strength of her position. Even the Persands knew that she had not killed him, his own erotic caprice had led him into death. It was an American who had killed him, though. An American with a handgun. We were all aware of that.
May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved, and preserved, throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us. Saint Jude, worker of miracles, pray for us. Saint Jude, help of the hopeless, pray for us.
Say this prayer nine times a day for nine days and your prayers will be answered. This never fails. Publication must be promised.
Lying in her drugged half-sleep, it had come to Roxy that she had killed him with this prayer. She had said it nine times a day for nine days and God had looked into her heart, divined the unspoken, completely unconscious wish there, and answered it.
It had not escaped me that when they all spoke of what had happened—to the press, to their friends, to the anxious, the shocked, the religious, the merely curious—they said l’américain. They did not say that Charles-Henri had been killed by his mistress’s husband. No, they always said he had been killed by un américain. Edgar put it that way, so did Anne-Chantal, so did Suzanne, so did the official spokesman Antoine, and so did the newspaper.
Roxy in her heart thinking about the efficacy of prayer and about how God works in mysterious ways. She wished to discuss a certain issue with a priest. Telling Margeeve she wanted to be alone, in the late afternoon she walked across the Pont de l’Archevêché and through the gardens of Notre Dame and into the vast, somewhat dank interior.
There, to Roxy too was given a glimpse into the future. Only slowly it began to dawn on her that she was a widow and that a widow was something different from a divorcée. That she could have her chest of drawers back from Drouot, and Saint Ursula, there wasn’t going to be any divorce.
How she fought the inexorable warm feeling of relief that flooded over her, for it meant she must be a monster. She analyzed, took the temperature of this emotion, to make sure she wasn’t in any sense happy or glad Charles-Henri was dead. She thought about what black clothing she had in her closet.
Relief different from gladness. Of course, she told herself, she was not glad, she was devastated. She fled to church, unable to bear the undistracted access that repose afforded to the turmoil of her wicked thoughts of relief, as one by one the real advantages of this lucky tragedy sank in upon her.
When she came back again from Notre Dame, a walk of a few minutes, she looked excited, even radiant. Not because she had seen a priest, she said, but because her waters had broken, on the ancient pavings of the cathedral, and she was bound to go into labor soon. The drama of this coming event, its risky testimony to the future, the noble effort required of her now, the putting forth of another hostage to fortune, reassured her, reassured all of us. The delicate perfume of high excitement overpowered the heavy odors of the floral tributes and ritual pâtés and cheeses that suffused the apartment. Margeeve telephoned Suzanne. We inquired after Roxy’s contractions, and spoke to shocked mourners on the telephone, balancing the emotional expenditures appropriate to life and death.
About midnight that night, when she had had a few definitive twinges, Chester and Margeeve took Roxy to the clinique maternelle.
I washed up the coffee cups and wineglasses that littered the tables, and slept another night on Roxy’s sofa, manning the phone. Nothing woke me but my own troubled dreams. I dreamt of Santa Barbara, the corner of Morales and Tenth Streets, a certain gas station there. My car had run out of gas, and I was walking to this gas station when another car passed me, almost grazing me, coming up on me from behind, frightening me. I was wondering if the driver meant to kill me or if it had been an accident. Then the gas station man came out and said, “You don’t know who that was, do you?” This dream was so vivid, the pale, bright light of Santa Barbara so vivid, and the sea smell, that I was really there, and for an instant, waking up on a sofa in Paris, I was disoriented and panicky. The phone was ringing.