CHAPTER NINE

 

Crystal finished typing up the last of her notes on Sage’s case and sent them to Jordan. She was being a coward by not printing them and walking them to his office.

She grimaced. In the three days since the letter had been sent off to Brady’s family, her emotions were in turmoil. Fear, anxiety, and confusion were all jumbled up into a big ball in the pit of her stomach.

Fear her family would find out where she was. Anxiety about the letter they’d sent to Brady’s family and if they’d have to fight. Confusion because she was in love with Jordan and she didn’t know if he loved her.

A bitter laugh left her lips. Love. Who knew it could happen so fast, especially to her? She never expected to find a man like Jordan.

He remained the bright spot in her days. And nights. She smiled. Last night, as they made love, he’d been so gentle and tender, trying to pull her out of her own head. He knew something was wrong but, thankfully, didn’t press her. Sadness filled her. Until she got her head on straight, it wasn’t fair to stay with him.

Besides, the job he’d hired her for was done. They hadn’t talked about that either. Instead, he’d kiss her or distract her when she tried to speak about it. Not that she blamed him. She didn’t want to leave, but it was time.

She needed time to think. Time to figure out her life and how she was going to deal with the old tapes playing in her head. Crystal picked up the letter she’d written earlier today, slipped it into an envelope, and wrote Jordan’s name on it. She stood, grabbed her bag, and walked out of her office.

It was lunchtime, and Valerie was out. Crystal shook her head. She was being a big coward by not saying goodbye to Valerie. But if she couldn’t talk to Jordan about this, how could she talk to Valerie? Hell, she hadn’t even told Sierra or Tessa about her fears or about leaving her job. Crystal stopped at Kendra’s office first, knowing she could come back from lunch at any second, put a letter on her desk, then slipped into Jordan’s office and placed the letter on his desk. He’d see it when he got back from court later.

Her heart clenched, and she reminded herself she was doing the right thing. She’d fallen hard for Jordan, but until she had her own life cleaned up, she had no right to bring trouble to his doorstep.

With heavy steps, Crystal made her way to the elevator. She was leaving a man she trusted, a man who had shown her sex wasn’t a sin, a man she loved with all her heart.

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she brushed it away and stiffened her spine. Once she got her head on straight, she could tell Jordan her feelings but not until then. Otherwise, she’d never know if she’d made the right choice or not.

* * * *

Jordan read the letter once again.

 

Jordan, I’m sorry I’m not doing this in person. I can’t. I’m asking you to give me some time to sort through all my feelings and emotions around what has happened. It’s not just Brady’s family’s threat to out all of us but other things. It’s honestly about me. I have issues I need to work through. I promise, once I’m done, we’ll talk. I do want you to know you opened up something in me I didn’t know was there. I will be in contact. Love, Crystal.

 

He blew out a breath. He’d found the letter a week ago. Jordan picked up his phone, then put it back down.

Crystal asked for time. He tried to give it to her, but he’d already left a dozen messages, letting her know he was here for her. No response. He’d even questioned Sierra, who told him Crystal was dealing with some heavy shit and to give her time.

Jordan rubbed the back of his neck. What was Crystal dealing with? He wanted to help her so much, but it had to be her decision. He wasn’t going to force her; that wasn’t his way. But damn, this was hard.

He’d made it clear in his messages if she needed to talk or needed him, to call. Silence. Depression settled over him. He missed her. He wanted her back in his life, his arms, his bed. This was more than kink.

Crystal had helped him see he was nothing like his father. He never lost his temper. Yes, he got angry, but he’d learned to channel his emotion into other actions. BDSM had helped, taught him control, more than he ever realized until Crystal.

A few more days, he could give her a couple more days. Brady’s family had backed down. He’d gotten the news from his lawyer. He’d already called Max, Damon, and Sage, now he wanted to share it with Crystal. Sierra would tell Crystal, but he wanted to do it. He wanted to hold her in his arms as he gave her the news.

A knock sounded on his office door. Jordan looked up, surprised to see it was three in the afternoon. Valerie opened the door and stuck her head in. Thanks to Crystal’s friendship, and him firing Johnson, Valerie had blossomed and excelled at her job.

“I have a gentleman who wants to see you. He won’t give me his name or why. Do you want to talk with him?”

Jordan frowned. “Very well, send him in.” Must be someone who was worried about appearances. Not unusual. Jordan stood.

“Thank you,” a male voice said. The door was pushed open, and a gray-haired man walked into his office, his dark brown eyes wary. He was an older man, maybe in his late 50s, early 60s.

“Hello, Jordan.”

That voice. Jordan stiffened and stood. The man who’d murdered his mother stood in his office. “What the hell are you doing here?” A swirl of emotions flooded him. Funny, a few months ago, it would have been pure anger, but since Crystal… Jordan closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. He wasn’t his father.

“I’ve come to talk with you.” Conrad Frost held up his hand when Jordan opened his mouth. “I’m asking you to listen to me.”

Jordan stared at him, emotions churning inside him. “Fine.” He gestured to one of the chairs before he took his seat behind his desk. He’d let the man say his piece, but nothing would change. Some might say he was being hard-nosed in this matter, but Jordan couldn’t help it. This man had killed his mother and left Jordan with nothing.

“Thank you.” His father sat down. “You’ve done well for yourself, and you look good, son.” He sighed, the deep, inward breath of a man with a lot on his conscience.

Jordan waited. He couldn’t have spoken if he’d wanted to. Anger and sadness flowed through him.

“Let me start by saying I’m sorry you had to witness what happened to your mother.”

Jordan stiffened. This was the last thing he expected. “That doesn’t bring her back or change the past. And don’t ever call me son.”

“Nothing excuses what I did. I had a horrible temper, and that night, it got out of control. I don’t blame you for testifying against me or for sending me to jail. I deserved it. I’ve lived with the guilt all these years. I paid the price for my actions. These past years have helped me heal and shown me a new side of myself.”

“Great for you, but it doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“I came to see you and to let you know if you want a relationship, I’m open to it.”

Jordan’s gut clenched. His anger morphed into indifference. Yes, this man was his biological father, but his dad had been dead for a long time. “I will never forgive you for what you did.” He didn’t have it in him. “You took not only my mother from me that night, but your actions also meant I lost my father. Will you please leave?” Ambivalence in his voice. He was done. Jordan stood.

“I understand.” His father stood up. “You grew up quite well, and I’m happy you didn’t inherit my temper.” His father turned and left his office.

Jordan fell back into his chair. His mind was churning. He needed to get out of the office. His father. Crystal. It was all so overwhelming to him, and he was always in control. Jordan laughed, the sound sharp and bitter, even cynical in the silent room. His control was shot.

“Valerie,” he called on his way out of his office. “I’m leaving. Go ahead and close down early. I’ll see you Monday.” Once in his car, he drove toward Wicked Sanctuary. He needed to talk to someone.

* * * *

Crystal opened her apartment door to Sierra. She’d talked to her friends, but she hadn’t attended girls’ night. “Thanks for coming over.” Crystal hugged her friend. The time away from Jordan to think had helped Crystal make some hard decisions. About her family and her life.

“Anytime. I’m so glad you called me. We’ve all been worried.” Sierra stared at her.

“I’m sorry you were worried. I had to think everything through.” One of the issues was doing something productive about the old tapes playing in her head. Step one had been admitting she needed help; step two was finding someone to help her.

The therapist she’d seen every day for the past nine days, including the weekend, helped her see things more clearly and gave her coping tips on what to do when those tapes started playing. She would keep seeing the therapist for a while, but now, she had her head on straight. It was time for step three. Jordan.

“I understand.”

“I need your help.” This was another part of her therapy, to ask for help when she needed it instead of bottling everything up.

“You got it. What do you need?”

“I want to make a statement tonight. To Jordan.” A shiver of excitement slid over Crystal’s skin. She was ready to do this.

“It’s about time. He’s crazy about you.”

“I’m crazy about him.” A smile curved her lips.

“What took you so long?”

“I had to straighten out my head around my family and this whole letter thing.” She took a deep breath. “I wasn’t dealing with my emotions in connection to Jordan very well.”

“Have you not listened to your messages?”

Crystal ducked her head. “I did.” She’d listened to each and every one of them. He understood she needed time, and what she was trying to do and why. How she didn’t need to worry he’d wait for her because that’s what someone in love does. Yes, he loved her, and he’d wait, because he wasn’t letting her go. She’d cried for hours after hearing him confess his love. The hurt and pain in his voice sliced her heart to ribbons. She would make amends.

“Jordan misses you.” Sierra took Crystal by the shoulders. “He received a letter from the lawyer. Brady’s family dropped their threat.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Crystal almost laughed. She’d made her decisions based on the letter without even knowing the threat had been resolved. It showed her how much she’d grown all because of Jordan. His touch, his belief in her, but most of all, his love. Yes, she felt his love day in and day out. She wasn’t afraid anymore.

“It is. So now what do you want to do?”

“I want you to help me dress for tonight at the club. I want to surprise Jordan, to show him how I feel about him, but I also want him to know I’m his.”

Sierra’s eyes widened.

“I know. I kind of want a grand gesture. I messed up, and I want him to know I trust him.” And more. While she’d told him she wanted to be his sub, she’d come to realize she needed Jordan like she needed air. She wasn’t afraid anymore.

“Do you have some clothing in mind?”

“I bought some new stuff. It’s on my bed.” Crystal wiped her hands on her jeans. “I’m nervous. What if Jordan doesn’t want me anymore?”

“You have to be kidding.” Sierra hugged Crystal. “If he doesn’t, I’ll kick him in the balls.”

Crystal burst out laughing.

“I mean it,” Sierra said. “He’s lucky to have you. Now, show me your outfit.”

Crystal took Sierra into her bedroom where the outfit she’d bought was laid out.

“Oh wow.” Sierra picked up the sheer skirt and top.

“I wanted to make a statement.”

“Honey, you will.” Sierra smiled. “Let’s get your make-up and hair done, then we’ll work on the outfit. I can sign you in at the club and keep you hidden until Jordan sees you.”

Tears filled Crystal’s eyes. She was so lucky to have family like Sierra.

“Hey…” Sierra touched her shoulder.

“Thank you. This means so much to me.”

Sierra pulled Crystal into her arms and hugged her tightly. “You’re my best friend and a part of my family. Now let’s knock Jordan into the next century.”

* * * *

Jordan glanced at his friends. Max and Damon were staring at him. “What?” he asked.

“Are you crazy? You haven’t talked to her yet?” Max said.

“Even I know that’s not a good sign,” Damon said.

“What was I supposed to do? She said she needed some time, and I understood that. I’ve called.” More times than I can count.

Max shook his head. “I don’t know what to tell you except to go over to her place and talk to her.”

“I can cover for you tonight,” Damon said.

Jordan was about to turn him down, then changed his mind. He had let this go on too long. “Thanks. Where’s Sierra? I want to ask her if she’s talked to Crystal lately.” Max hadn’t told him when he’d asked if Sierra had talked to Crystal lately.

“She’ll be here in a few minutes.” Max glanced at the door, and his features froze.

Damon smiled.

“What is it?” Jordan turned, and his jaw dropped. What the hell was Crystal wearing? His heart pounded as he kept his gaze on her. She was beautiful, and it wasn’t how she was dressed in the sheer skirt and top. He wanted to run to her and scoop her into his arms, but he was frozen in place.

* * * *

Crystal fought down her nerves as she and Sierra walked into the club. When she glanced around to find Jordan, she saw him with his back to her. Max and Damon had stunned looks on their faces, and her confidence level rose, until Jordan turned around.

“Go,” Sierra whispered, giving her a nudge.

Crystal stumbled forward, reminding herself no matter what happened with Jordan tonight, she was free of her family’s influence. Tonight she would show him she was his in the way only a sub could.

“Master Max, Master Damon.” She inclined her head at them before looking directly at Jordan. “Master Jordan, Sir.”

“You look great,” Damon said.

“You’ll turn every Dom’s head tonight,” Max commented.

Jordan groaned, and Crystal hoped it meant something. “Thank you both.” Taking a deep breath, she dropped to her knees in front of Jordan.

His swift intake of breath was the only warning she had before he spoke. “Oh, hell no.” Jordan grabbed her under the arms and lifted her to her feet. “You never have to kneel in front of me.”

“But…” Her words trailed off when he glared at her.

“Excuse us.” Jordan took her by the elbow and led her toward one of the secluded areas of the club.

“Jordan,” she protested. “What are you doing?” Had she misjudged him?

“You and I are going to talk.” He found two chairs, put them across from each other and pushed her down onto one. “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked as he sat down.

Their knees were touching, and the heat from his body called to her, but his question threw her for a loop. “I thought you might like it.” Did he hate it? Was she fooling herself by dressing like this? Her confidence dropped.

“You’re going to have every Dom in this place panting after you. Is that what you want?”

“No.” She took a deep breath. “I want one person panting after me. You.” It was time for her to lay all her cards on the table no matter what the outcome.

“What’s changed?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Several things.” She took a deep breath. “My family is history. I will no longer have any contact with them.” It had been a hard decision, even once she came to the realization how toxic her family was. She found her inner strength and sent a long letter to her family, wishing them well, but telling them she would no longer be in contact.

When his expression didn’t change, she fought down the sense of failure. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. I had to get my head on straight.”

“And did you?” His tone was flat.

Wariness filled her. He wasn’t acting like a man who wanted a relationship with her. Well, to hell with that. Oh to hell with all of it. If he didn’t want a relationship with her, if she’d misunderstood his messages, then it was on her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she demanded. “I come here to tell you I want to be your sub, no matter what. I want to be in your life, and yet I can feel your reluctance, your reticence.” She started to rise, but Jordan put his hands on her shoulders and kept her in place.

“You left me a letter after you cleaned out your office. A letter. You asked me to give you time and space.”

“I did.” She took a breath. “I did, and I’m sorry for that. I should have talked to you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

At least he was talking to her. “Because I was scared. Scared of what I was feeling. I needed time to find myself once again.” Time to convince herself she was worthy of Jordan. She was. She deserved the life she wanted and wouldn’t bow to the expectations of others.

“It took you almost two weeks.”

“Nine days to be exact.” She lifted her chin. “I took the time for us, Jordan. If I hadn’t, then I would always worry my own fears would come between us.”

“Haven’t I made it clear you can talk to me about anything?”

His features softened, and Crystal took a breath. “You did. But it was something I had to do on my own. Or should I say almost on my own.” No holding back. “I started seeing a kink-friendly therapist.”

Jordan’s eyes widened.

“All those resources came in handy.” She gave a little smile.

“Did it help?”

“Yes.” She tilted her head. “I’m sorry if I took so long. I needed to do it for me.” She straightened. “I get it. I hurt you too badly, even if I did it for the right reasons. It’s—it’s okay. So if you’ll release me, I’ll leave.” It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she wouldn’t guilt him into staying with her.

“I’m never letting you go.”

She blinked. “What?” Her hearing couldn’t be wrong…could it?

“I know you heard me.”

“I’m confused.” She tilted her head to stare at him. Was he saying what she thought? Her heart pounded.

“Will you tell me what you and the therapist talked about?” His hands were gentle but firm at the same time.

“Mainly my family. Their views on sex, and how I grew up.” She’d cried more times through her sessions than she thought possible. “She helped me see I don’t need to feel guilty about not loving my toxic family.”

Jordan stayed silent, and she continued. “What it took for me to leave at eighteen was like tearing a part of myself apart. I didn’t realize how much it affected me. I’d lost my family.”

“So there’s no chance you’ll make up with your family?”

She shook her head. “My family isn’t going to change. They’re dysfunctional, and that’s on them.” She took a breath. “But it doesn’t mean I have to be unhappy. I love my life here. I enjoy going out, being with my friends. I enjoy being with you and being a little kinky.”

“I enjoy it too.” His lips tilted up, and a ray of hope filled her.

“I had to work through what might have happened if Brady’s family decided to go forward with their threats. While it might have hurt my reputation, it wasn’t world-ending. My family finding out and showing up would have been world-ending. Plus, I worried about you, Max, Sierra, Damon, and others here at the club.”

“We would have survived.”

“I know that now. You have to remember the little girl inside of me still wanted her family’s love, but their love is conditional. I deserve unconditional love.”

“You do.” Jordan shifted, parting his legs to pull her chair closer to him.

“Once I made the decision, the rest fell into place.” Crystal lifted her chin again and looked Jordan in the eye. “I love you. I want to be with you. In and out of the club. I want to learn more about kink and explore it with you. Only you.”

Jordan stilled, and Crystal’s heart dropped.

“Look, if you’re going to reject me, then make it quick,” she said. She’d survive his rejection somehow.

Jordan threw his head back and laughed. “For that, you’re going to get a spanking. For doubting me.”

Crystal shook her head. “What?”

“You need to have more confidence in your Dom.”

“But—”

He put his fingers against her lips.

“Yes, I was angry you left. Angry you wouldn’t answer your phone or return my calls or trust me to help you through this. But seeing you tonight, in this outfit, kneeling for me and only me blew it all away.” He shifted closer to her. “I love you, Crystal.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Jordan,” she whispered.

“I didn’t know how to help you when you obviously didn’t want it. I was worried you would choose your fears over us. But most of all, I didn’t want to lose the love of my life.”

“Never,” she whispered.

“I’ve been dealing with some of my own shit. My father came to see me.”

Crystal clasped his arm. “And I wasn’t there. Oh God, I’m so sorry.” Her heart hurt. “I hate I wasn’t there to help you.”

“I’m glad you weren’t. While I’ll never forgive him for killing my mother, he is my father. His blood runs in my veins. I didn’t realize, until he mentioned something about his temper, how scared I was I might have the same anger within me.”

“You don’t have a temper,” she said.

“I do, but nothing like his. When he left my office, a weight lifted from my shoulders. A part of my life was done with, and now I can move on.” He framed her face with his palms. “I know how much family means to you.”

“I have a family,” she said. “My family is you, Sierra, Max, Damon, Tessa, and the others. We’ve made our own family. I’m not giving you up.”

“I love you so much, you couldn’t if you tried.”

Crystal laughed; Jordan dragged her into his arms, and they kissed.

“This is where you belong, in my arms and in my bed.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be.”

“Now, shall we discuss the spanking you deserve?”

* * * *

Jordan led Crystal over to a straight back chair. He sat down and then patted his legs. “Over you go.”

“You were serious, Sir?”

He stared at her. “I was. You need to remember you can come to me with any problem, any issue, but especially ones that affect both of us, and we will work them out together. Now over.”

Crystal sighed, and positioned herself over Jordan’s legs, her feet and hands touching the floor.

Jordan ran his hand over her butt, and she shivered as he lifted her see-through skirt to reveal her thong. “For not talking to me.” He brought his hand down on her ass.

A small sound left her lips, not because it hurt—yeah, there was a sting—but she knew Jordan was taking it easy on her. He would pause after four swats and rub her ass. Then start again. Her blood heated, and after a few minutes, she craved something more intense.

“More, Sir,” she whispered as he helped her to her feet.

“What?”

“Please, Sir. I need something more. My body is on fire.”

“Crystal, are you sure?” His eyes conveyed concern with a hint of reluctance.

“Show me more of your world. Please, Sir.”

“Would you accept the touch of my flogger?”

“Oh yes, Sir.” Her skin tingled with excitement.

Jordan nodded and led her over to St. Andrew’s Cross station. Luckily, it was empty.

“Safe words?” he asked.

“Yellow and red, Sir.”

He nodded. “Remove your skirt.”

Taking a deep breath, Crystal slipped the skirt down and stepped out of it. She picked it up, folded it, and handed it to Jordan.

“Thank you, my sweet.” He brushed a kiss over her lips before he placed her skirt on the table. Jordan guided her up to the cross. “I’m going to restrain your arms.” He brought her arms up over her head.

The feel of his soft cuffs being clipped around her wrists caused a flood of heat to flow through her body. She turned her head, and her eyes widened: everyone in the club had gathered around.

Max held Sierra, who looked like she wanted to rush the stage. Brady leaned against Sage, who stroked his hair all the while smiling at Crystal.

“Okay, my sweet?” Jordan ran his hand over her back.

“I’m fine, Sir.”

“Nothing heavy duty. Use your safe words if needed.”

“I will, Sir.” And his touch was gone. Crystal kept her eyes downcast toward the stage. She jumped when the tails of the flogger caressed her ass.

“It’s a rabbit fur flogger. Remember when we talked about them?” Jordan’s voice was soft.

“Yes, Sir. Fur on one side of the tail.”

“Correct.” The tails were now trailing up her back to her arm, then over her shoulders to her other arm and down her body.

The shiver that shook her body wasn’t fear; it was anticipation. The first swat hit her ass. Crystal squealed and went up on her toes. But it didn’t hurt. Instead, heat filled her, and her nerves tingled.

Another swat to her left ass cheek, then her right, and back to her left. She clenched her muscles with each one, not in pain but in anticipation and pleasure. It was instinctual.

“Relax, sweetie.” Jordan’s breath caressed her ear as he rubbed her butt. “I can feel the heat flowing off of you. Give in to the sensation. Don’t tighten your muscles.”

“Yes, Sir.” He was right; she needed to relax.

The next swat was in a new spot on her ass, and instead of tensing up, she closed her eyes and relaxed. The next three swats made her feel like her blood was on fire. Every nerve in her body was awake and humming with need.

“So beautiful.” Jordan’s hand caressed her ass once again. “One more set.”

The swats this time were different. More…thuddy, that was the word. They didn’t hurt; there was force behind the strikes, but not so much as to make it painful.

No, the flogger caressed her skin. She didn’t know how to process the sensations. Each hit took her body higher and higher. Pleasure wove its way through her veins. Her nipples were tight, and her pussy throbbed.

Then the flogger stopped. Crystal’s head fell forward as she tried to catch her breath.

“You are so fucking responsive.” Jordan’s voice was husky as he released her arm restraints. Crystal practically fell into his arms. “Okay, sweetie?”

“Fine.” She turned her head and placed a kiss on his chin. “I love you.”

Jordan’s grin was huge. “I love you too.” He swept her into his arms and carried her into the aftercare section. “Be right back.”

Crystal watched as he cleaned up the station and stored the flogger back in his bag along with her skirt. Then grabbed a blanket before returning to her.

“How did you like your first flogging?” He wrapped the blanket around her before pulling her into his arms.

“Different and I want to do it again.” She grinned up at him.

* * * *

Jordan couldn’t describe the emotions flowing through him. The closest he could come was love, devotion, and happiness. Things he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Crystal did that for him. She’d taken the spanking and then asked for more.

Flogging her had taken control. He hadn’t planned on flogging her tonight, but when she asked, he could hear the need in her voice. Crystal’s eyes lit up, and Jordan realized it was time. She was ready to take the step.

He’d given her a couple of swats with his hand before he took her to the stage with the St. Andrew’s Cross. His Crystal. His arm tightened around her, and she didn’t blink or express any concern.

She trusted him. It was humbling and euphoric at the same time. He was so lucky she’d come into his life.

“You were fantastic up there,” he whispered.

“Thank you. I enjoyed the feel of your flogger on my skin and the way you caressed my ass as heat flowed through my body.”

“For your first time, you did well. Was it as you thought it would be?”

“Once you told me to relax, yes. The sensations cascading through my body, the pleasure—not pain.”

“I’m glad.”

“So when can we do it again?”

Jordan laughed. “How did you feel about people watching?”

“At first, a little nervous, but then I realized it was no different than us watching a scene. I closed my eyes and concentrated on feeling.”

“Attention.” Max’s voice carried throughout the club. The club went quiet. “Next Saturday is Valentine’s Day, and to celebrate, we’ll be having a masquerade party. Better start thinking about your masks now.”

The buzz that went through the club made Jordan smile. Everyone was excited. “How do you feel about coming to the party in nothing but a mask?”

“Behave.” Crystal tapped his chest. “Mask, yes. Clothing, yes. It sounds like fun.”

“As long as you know the only fun you’ll be having is with me.”

“Of course. I don’t want anyone else.”

“All mine.” Jordan whispered as he took her lips in a kiss.

Today, tomorrow, forever.

His Crystal.

 

 

 

Thank you for reading Entice the second book in the Wicked Sanctuary series. If you missed Max and Sierra’s story, you can find them in Tempt. Next will be Damon and Tessa’s story in Seduce out in spring of 2021. If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review wherever you prefer, and know that it would be greatly appreciated.

 

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