The first time I got pregnant, I was excited but a little uncertain. I wasn’t ready to look at my pregnancy as some wonderful, magickal experience … yet. But after suffering a miscarriage late in the first trimester, my attitude changed completely. I went from feeling ambivalent about even being pregnant to feeling terrified, wanting it, not wanting it, questioning it, loving it, not believing entirely that it was really real, being excited, and then feeling loss and pain. The loss shook me to my very core. I woke up every night after finding out we lost it and would roll over and lie on my husband and just cry. Oh, what I would have given to have never doubted, never questioned, never been negative! Oh, what I would have done to have another chance to get pregnant and have a baby! I would do it all right this time!
Shortly after suffering that loss, I was in my yoga class, lying in savasana, the relaxation pose. As I lay there, still and quiet, I heard a voice as clear as day whisper in my ear, “Are you ready now? Because there is a little girl trying to come through.” I answered with all my heart and soul to that voice: “Yes, yes, yes, I am ready!” I went home and told my husband, “We are having a girl!” He asked me, “Are we pregnant?” and I said, “Not yet.” But soon we were.
And thus began my own journey. Not to spoil the ending, but I loved it all. Every step of the way, I loved it all. Those harder days when I was so sick to my stomach that I had to be dragged into a medical center to get fluids? Even those I loved. And oh my universe, that day they laid that baby girl on my chest? No one in the world has ever managed to adequately describe that moment when you see your newborn baby for the very first time. It’s because it is simply not possible. You just have to experience it yourself.
As I write this today, I am the mother of a wonderful twenty-month-old girl and one week away from delivering my second miracle. As I sit here heavily pregnant and in my most vulnerable place, I figure this is the best time to be as honest as I can with you. Conception has its many challenges, pregnancy does too but in a totally different way, and motherhood … well, that is a prize beyond comprehension until you get there. There are no words that do it justice, so I won’t try.
When you are expecting, everyone will offer you a book—maybe even this one. But in regard to this book and every other book out there about pregnancy, conception, and motherhood, I offer you this as the most sincere and loving advice that I can possibly offer: Trust your own instincts above all else.
Don’t let what we say in this book, as well as what anyone says in any book or article, beat out the voice in your own head and gut.
Motherhood is amazing, without a doubt. Being pregnant is phenomenal, but it’s also a challenge. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. It hurts. Your body goes through a huge transformation—but it’s for the greatest reason known to humankind!
One of our primary purposes in writing this book is to help you realize the incredible journey you are on while you are still on it. Many people look back with great regret for not embracing the moments when they were actually in each of these moments. I’m in my late thirties, and I think with that comes a very different perspective about pregnancy. As I’ve shared my complete joy and appreciation for this gift of pregnancy and motherhood, I’ve received a lot of letters from women saying they wish they would have been more like me during the times they carried their children. They look back and realize how much of it was spent complaining and trying to hurry up time. Now they wish with everything in them that time would slow down. I want to bring you into the present moment of exactly where you are. Whether you currently are pregnant, are a mom, are at the very beginning of this journey, or are contemplating trying to get pregnant, I want you to be here for it. Each stage has great offerings. I want to help you be open to them all.
So come along with me. The best is yet to be.
Love,
Emily