“You don’t follow directions very well, do you,” Ingrid asked, smiling at me warmly when Riley walked me into the house.
Inside, things looked much nicer than what it looked on the outside, and I was surprised at how warm and welcoming it was. The outside made the place look like a rundown log cabin while the inside was gorgeous. The front entrance held a grand staircase in the center of the massive area. Ingrid was standing to the right of it. A living room was to my right that opened to a kitchen further back. To my left were a few closed doors. They were French double doors, though. It was unreal how this was the same house that the outside showed.
“I’m sorry. They had my blood and I couldn’t let them keep it.” I didn’t know why I was bothering to tell her. Part of me thought for sure that she already knew.
I didn’t have any of the bags with me now. Dream James or whoever actually picked me up had them.
“Ingrid, I don’t mean to be rude, but James was there. I had another dream, and I can’t help but think that you might be working for Audrey. I’m tired of being used and just tired in general. Why did you send me a dream like that if you’re trying to help me?”
I didn’t understand her methods. Sending James as a dream to me after trying to convince me she was on my side didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do.
Ingrid walked up to me nodding as if she understood my hesitations. “I’m not working for Audrey, and I’m going to help you, Ariya. You need to have some faith in me, though.”
I didn’t answer. I wasn’t about to be sucked into more deceit.
Riley spoke up. “Ariya, you have to trust us.” He rubbed the back of my hand and me a small encouraging smile.
Ingrid stood and signaled us to follow her. She led us around the staircase into a beautiful sitting room at the back of the house.
“I’m going to show you some things, but I need to remove the work that’s been done already to your mind. May I?” she asked, holding her hands up for me to see.
Since I wanted to know what was going on and Riley seemed to trust her, I nodded. She took her hands and placed them on each of my temples. She started muttering something under her breath and looked straight into my eyes. I didn’t feel anything except terror for a moment because I wasn’t sure what she was going to do to me. It sounded like a spell, but what kind I didn’t know.
Suddenly, my body felt like it was floating, and I felt myself being pulled along. I shut my eyes when things started to spin. When I opened them again Ingrid wasn’t there, but I could still hear her muttering.
It was just white everywhere, no house, no sky, no floor, and I realized I was standing there alone. “Hello?” I asked out loud wondering where the house had gone, where Ingrid and Riley had gone, where everything that had been surrounding me moments before had gone.
I turned around looking for any sign of life or people or items, anything. My heart sped up a bit. I turned again and this time, Ingrid was next to me, startling me and making me jump.
“Do I have your attention?” she asked.
Riley had appeared as well and continued to give me encouraging smiles.
“Pretty sick,” he said looking around at the lack of everything. This was weird.
“You had it before. What is going on?” I asked, wanting to know how this was possible.
“I didn’t have it. You were distracted by everything around you. This way, there is nothing left to distract you. Are you listening to me?”
“Well, yes, we’re the only ones here.” I let my aggravation show, but then felt a tiny pang of regret at being mean to the woman who’d saved me from Audrey.
“Quite so. I’m going to try to and help you see which events were a dream and which weren’t, but I need your trust. I do not work for Audrey. I will never work for her. She is evil, and I work for good. I believe you are good as well, and I believe your life has a larger purpose. I need to help you, though, so you can feel whole again. Can I do that?”
I looked at her and flicked my gaze to Riley who nodded his reassurances. I trusted him completely. Ingrid looked so sincere as well, and if this wasn’t a dream, and she had helped me escape, I would feel bad doubting her. I acknowledged that a part of me still feared I’d wake up back in the cell.
I needed help desperately. Things had become so twisted that I wasn’t even sure the cell was real anymore. I took a step towards her when she motioned for me to come closer.
“Good.” She placed her hand over my head as if she was checking my temperature. She spoke again in gibberish. “Focus on my words, Ariya.”
“But I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
She smiled broadly. She had such a beautiful smile. It was no wonder she did it all the time.
“You don’t have to understand the words. Just listen to my voice and focus.”
I closed my eyes listening to her voice just like she instructed. Thoughts tried to tiptoe into my mind, but I pushed them aside by repeating each of Ingrid’s words after she spoke. I felt my mind get sharper. Like her words themselves even were becoming clearer to me. It was as if I was at the eye doctor and each word was a turn of the lens to bring my vision more into focus.
I was coming out of a tunnel. It may have been one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever had. I was being pulled through the haze by something. My body went tense for a moment and then relaxed. It repeated this action several times.
“Open your eyes, Ariya.” Ingrid’s voice sounded through me, vibrating with such intensity I had to comply with the demand.
When I opened my eyes, the haze and fuzziness that had been there were gone. We were still in the all white room, but when I looked at Ingrid, she was clearer. She was even more striking now that she was a normal image, instead of surrounded by the white haze that had been all around me at Audrey’s. Riley, also looked breathtaking, and it was like I was seeing them both for the first time.
“I feel like I can see again,” I said shocked. I smiled at her hoping I was done.
I was definitely awake now. I had no doubt that I really was safe away from Audrey’s grasp. I had been rescued. I wanted to relive everything and see the extent to which Audrey had messed with me.
Ingrid spoke, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Now that you can tell this isn’t a dream, we can work on what was a dream during your time at Audrey’s. Ariya, we don’t have time to go over everything that happened, but when you have memories of your time there, you should be able to see that haze when something was in fact a dream. The sharp images are the real moments. My spell is stronger than hers, and I’ve safeguarded your mind from future dream spells. She can’t hurt you anymore, or your friends for that matter. In this way, I can help protect you.”
I nodded and she continued. “I think there are two important things to show you before we’re done here.” She waved her hand and something that reminded me of a small-scale movie theater screen appeared in front of us. An image appeared of me hunched over a wolf in the living room of Audrey’s home.
“This is me while I was there?” I looked at the screen curiously. “How do you know this?”
“Yes, this is while you were there. I want you to watch a moment that has passed that you thought was real. I know this because it’s from Riley’s memory. I’ve captured it here for you.”
I turned to Riley as she said that, and he walked up behind me placing his hands on my shoulders in a comforting way.
“It’s okay, Ariya. I’m right here. I know it’s kind of weird. It was weird to watch in person, too.” He rubbed my back gently in a supportive way, and again I was so thankful he was here and unharmed.
I turned to watch the screen. I was healing the last wolf from their larger attack the night Riley left. Only something seemed wrong. As I healed the wolf, I fell back and passed out. Riley caught me and picked me up. He started carrying me out of the room before Tristan approached him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he shouted at Riley.
“She fainted after the last one. She’s done. I’m putting her to bed so she can rest.”
Tristan snarled at him when he answered.
Riley walked up into our bedroom and laid me down on the bed. He had just barely gotten me out of his arms when he was grabbed from behind by Tristan.
I watched Audrey walk into our old bedroom as Tristan covered Riley’s mouth, holding him back. He moved him towards the doors by the entrance to the room. Anger welled up in me at the sight. Damn you, Tristan! I thought to myself.
Audrey stood next to the bed mumbling words I couldn’t make out. I heard myself say, “He was attacked. He goes free, or I’m done helping you, I swear Audrey.”
She smiled as she spoke and stood me up while my eyes were still closed. What was she doing? Riley struggled against Tristan, but being a werewolf, grip was stronger. Audrey walked me out of the room as we continued talking. It looked like I was sleepwalking. She led me out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I watched from Riley’s point of view at the top of the stairs. Audrey said some more that I couldn’t hear and kept moving us around the corner.
I disappeared and Riley was left with Tristan who called for some additional wolves to help him. They pulled Riley out the door, taking him out of the house altogether, and then the screen went blank.
“I was never hurt, Ariya. Audrey didn’t do anything to me, and neither did any of the wolves you healed. Ingrid showed me the memory you had and it isn’t real. You were exhausted when we reached the last wolf. Once I got you upstairs, they took over. They took me out of the house after that.” He looked so sad. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay to protect you.”
I touched his cheek. “It’s not your fault. I’m glad you got away. I wanted you safe, remember? I told you that.” I tried to comfort him.
“The wolves had time to get him out while Audrey finished planting the dream version of what happened in your mind. She wanted you isolated and made you think it was your idea.”
“How could I not have known?” I asked, confused by what I had just been shown.
“The mind is a powerful tool, and when it is being used by a powerful witch, it is dangerous. You did nothing wrong, Ariya. In fact I am impressed with how long you made it before you were completely in the dark.”
I interrupted her. “So Audrey is really a witch?”
Ingrid’s features clouded for the first time since I had met her. “We can talk about that a little after you heal. There is much left to share on that topic, and I’d rather you were at your best for that. In the meantime, there is one more thing you need to know.”
I looked between her and Riley, suddenly nervous that something bad was going to happen.
It was Riley who spoke first. “Ariya, James is alive.”
My mind blocked out the thought. I shoved Riley, angry that he would lie to me like this. “Don’t you dare, Riley. Stop it!” I yelled.
I wanted it to be true, but the pain that accompanied the thought was too great right now to add on top of the confusion and sadness I already felt.
“Ariya,” Ingrid started. “It’s true, dear. Think of the memory, you’ll see only haze.”
I didn’t want to think of the memory of what I had seen.
“No,” I whispered. “My arm is broken. Tristan broke it twice. I know it happened.” My heart thudded loudly.
“Your arm was broken, but I believe they did it to you while you were asleep to make sure you believed it was real.” Ingrid touched my arm softly and a miracle occurred before my eyes.
A light shone around my arm, where she touched it, and I watched amazed as it stretched out before me. She was healing it! My whole arm. How was this possible? Ingrid smiled as she finished and then let go.
“It’s healed now. Do you see how she melded your dreams and reality? You didn’t know what you dreamt and what was real because she intertwined the two things together. Some things were real, some were dreams, and since no one could confirm what was happening, everything became reality.”
The haze when I tried to think about those memories was there full force. Riley smiled at me again, but I could only think of one thing. James was alive.
My heart burst and I felt like light ripped through my mind and body. I gasped and opened my eyes. Ingrid was smiling in front of me, and we were back in the house.
“I’m awake,” I said in amazement.
“And it’s about time.” She smiled, touching my face in a motherly way.
“Ingrid, I don’t know how to thank you.” I threw my arms around her and she laughed. “You knew James wasn’t dead, though. Why wouldn’t you tell me when you saw my vision?”
“I thought about it. But the timing of your depression and when you lost yourself with James’s death caused me to believe you had given up. How can you be worthy of help if you give up when you go through something painful? James wasn’t the only person who cared for you. I wanted to see if you could overcome something like that and fight back. I’m sorry I hid the truth, but I needed to see if you could do it.
“In any case, would you have believed me and trusted me if I’d told you that he was really alive? The ache in your heart was too great, and I needed to earn your trust first before telling you something of that magnitude.”
She was right. The moment I thought she had sent James as a dream I doubted her allegiance. “No, I wouldn’t have trusted you. I like to think I stopped functioning because I was being brave and didn’t want to help, but I worry that most of it was because I didn’t know what to do with the hole in my heart. I’ve never felt something like that, Ingrid, and I don’t know how it’s possible to feel like that about one single person.”
I saw Riley shift uncomfortably in the corner and felt guilty for speaking about James in front of him. Things were going to be strained between us again. They would continue to be because I knew Riley’s feelings. Mine had been clouded and confused when I was with him at Audrey’s, and I didn’t know how much of that was really Audrey’s mind games and how much of it was because I loved him, too. Something had happened to us while we were there. We had grown closer, but it still wasn’t enough to eclipse the love I felt for James in my heart.
“You and James are both very special. Soon you’ll see that for yourselves. You overcame your grief and fought back, which is what I hoped to see. That’s what counts.” Ingrid looked back at me in a proud way that made me feel strong for the first time in a long time. “I’m sorry for the shock of him picking you up. He wasn’t supposed to be the one to do it, but it appears he disobeys orders as much as you do,” she teased.
I wanted nothing more than to run and find James and lock him away until I was convinced he really was safe. I was saved from having to wait any longer by a knock at the door. Caroline peeked around the frame. She smiled at me, before turning to Ingrid.
“I hate to interrupt, but he’s losing it in here.”
Ingrid nodded at Caroline acknowledging her comment.
“James,” I whispered softly. I ran out of the room, just knowing he would get to me as soon as I emerged. The minute I rushed through the door I felt his arms around me from behind. Turning and throwing my arms around his neck, I held on for dear life. I couldn’t let go. The thought of loosening my arms created a terror in me that once I did he would disappear somehow. I pulled my arms closer together around his neck. A mix of a sob and an exclamation came out of me.
“Shhhh,” he breathed, bringing his hand to my head for a moment before wrapping me up again. “You’re okay. I’m here,” he murmured warmly. His voice wasn’t steady, like it normally was.
There were no tears. It surprised me, but my mind was still trying to understand that he was safe. Tiny tremors coursed through my body, as if my nightmare was being chased away. I just kept holding on. James didn’t move me, didn’t flinch. His arms were wrapped tightly around my torso steadying me as I trembled.
I had no idea how long I held onto him, shaking for moments on end at a time. The last thing I wanted to do was let go of him.
His voice sounded in my ear. “Please, let me look at you.” Still fearing his disappearance, I clutched onto his arms to make sure I had a firm grip before moving my body back. I shook again.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ariya. I just want to look at you.” His hands brushed the side of my neck tilting my head back.
The look in his eyes showed the torture he had endured. His fingertips caressed my cheek, my neck, slowly traveling over the curves in my face and shoulders. He was inspecting me. Maybe he didn’t think I was real either.
He loved me. Nothing had changed. When our eyes met again there was a shift in the mood between us.
“Ariya, I’m so sorry.” He brought his face to mine, and what started as a tentative kiss, turned into something much more. Everything I thought I’d never have again surrounded me all at once. I wrapped my legs around his waist not wanting to let go.
“I thought you were dead!” I cried out, kissing him back feverishly.
He was carrying me somewhere. I didn’t care where we were going, as long as I was going with him. He pushed a door open and then closed it again behind him. He said my name again and was on top of me.
We were in someone’s bedroom on their bed. I smiled as he kissed me. Tears had finally started streaming down my face.
He looked at me and his gaze was so powerfully fierce that it reflected my own emotions right back at me. I couldn’t help but shiver. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He stroked my hair before trailing kisses down my neck and let out the sexiest moan as he reached the nape of it.
“James, I thought you were dead.” I was still repeating it to try and make myself forget how real it had been for me.
His face hovered in front of mine, and the heat that had been building between us felt like it was reaching a dangerous level. “I’m right here. There is nothing that would take me from you forever.”
Passion consumed me as I looked into his eyes and let his words surround me. I never thought I’d see him again, and here he was. I smiled and pulled him back to my lips.
His hands slid up my legs slowly. I was still wearing the tattered jeans and a t-shirt that was stained and torn, and quite frankly wasn’t doing a great job of being an article of clothing. I thrust my hips up into him and could feel his excitement. That earned me another sexy moan from him, and I didn’t think I was going to last just kissing him like this any longer.
I broke away and looked up at him. “James,” I whispered in a breathy voice.
He ran his hand up the length of my trembling leg and toyed with the buttons on my pants. I shivered with anticipation. The feeling of his fingers brushing along the top of my jeans caused me to quiver. He released the buttons on my pants, and I let out a gasp as he tore them off of me. James was just as impatient as I was at the moment. Next came the tattered old shirt.
A brief flicker of self consciousness rushed over me until James pulled back, looking me over. “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful in all of my years.”
His fingers slid down my body starting at my neck, then running along the line between my breasts and down my stomach. He didn’t stop the trail until he curved his hand and slipped his fingers inside me. The self-doubt was instantly a thing of the past.
It was my turn to moan. I tensed with excitement. James leaned down and kissed slowly around my navel. He dipped his tongue down and I shivered from the heat that coursed through me. His fingers moved rhythmically as my hips arched in time with his hand. When his lips traveled between my legs I cried out as the first wave of pleasure crashed over me.
I needed him, still. I needed him more than my next breath. Tugging on his arms got his attention and I grabbed his shirt. He took the hint and pulled it over his head. My body had been weak moments before, but instead of giving in, I had to have more of him. I’d never get enough of him again. This was about as far as we usually went, but it wouldn’t be enough this time, not after everything that had happened.
I reached down yanking at his jeans, and he smiled, tearing them off, quickly. That was one nice thing about being a vampire–the speed at which some things can get done.
I gasped as I stared at his fully naked body. He was truly flawless. I shuddered in anticipation but also in fear as to how in the world I was going to be any good at giving him what I wanted to. I reached my hand out, tentatively stroking him.
James’s body shook once before he flattened himself on top of me, locking our lips together. He nipped my bottom lip gently as his hips hovered above where I so desperately wanted him to be.
“I need you,” I whispered in his ear. My voice was quivering and I felt nervous, anxious, but utterly loved.
“Ariya, we have to slow down, or I’m not going to be able to stop.” His own voice matched mine now, breathy and out of control.
“I don’t want to stop,” I said.
That was all the encouragement he needed. He smiled seductively at me and pulled back far enough to blow air across my exposed chest before slowly moving his mouth closer to my breasts. He hovered above me, teasing one peak while he paid full attention to the other. I could feel him grinding into my hips.
“Please,” I whimpered. It was all too much.
I was overwhelmed with every emotion I think a person could possibly have at one time. I looked up into his eyes, and he moved his hand up to my face, gently cupping the side of it. He trembled once again before kissing me more gently than before.
His hands went to my hips as he thrust inside me. “Oh, Ariya,” he exclaimed in my ear as he broke away.
I cried out in pain, in pleasure, in need, in relief, a rush leaving my body and filing me with something else, something different. It was an emotion so strong it made every other one I’d ever experienced seem insignificant.
It was as if the rollercoaster from the feelings I’d had in the past, the ones that had driven me nearly insane, was preparing me for this. Preparing me for a place where my only reality was this unhindered, all consuming love. The release of every fear, shattered piece of heart, my broken soul, all disintegrated and then fused back together to make me feel whole again. Alive and whole. I felt freedom, yet I felt bound. Bound to James because I was all his, in every way. Freedom, because I was exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to give him all of me. Completely. Forever.
Those feelings only grew with each slow and gentle drive as he slid in again and again, and again. My body arched, pushing my flesh to his, pressing against him as if even a centimeter of separation was too much. The sensation was strange and yet felt right. We fit together, like a puzzle piece that was always in my soul finally clicked into place.
“Shit,” he said through clenched teeth. I could feel how powerful his body was as he held himself up watching me. “Look at me,” he breathlessly commanded. His gaze captured mine and then he became relentless as he moved. I watched him until I couldn’t help myself anymore and threw my head back, feeling another jolt come over me. I gripped onto his arms and felt the sheer strength in them.
Even as I cried out his name, he still didn’t stop. Good gosh, how was it possible to still be so turned on after all this? He leaned back down into me, kissing my neck. Suddenly, I knew one more thing that I wanted for him. One more thing that would bring us closer. One more thing that I wanted to give him.
“Bite me.”
“Ariya, it’s dangerous.” He didn’t sound convinced though, and his movements slowed.
“James, please.” I gasped. I heard a small click before he pushed into me deeper than I thought was possible, and then desire was building again. I was shocked at my own body and the overwhelming sensations James was able to cause in me.
He gently kissed my neck before clasping his mouth around the curve of it. There was a tiny prick and a sting in the side of my neck, and before I knew it, he was drinking from me. The sting vanished completely as his motions sped up and he groaned. The feeling was more than euphoric–I couldn’t even think of a word to describe it well enough. I felt him. I felt how much he loved me, and the way his own fears were calmed by our intimacy. His feelings enveloped me while he drank more.
He continued on, harder and deeper until I was overcome with a final round of bliss. Just as I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes open any longer, he thrust one last time into me and released my neck growling my name.
I felt his tongue on the spot where his teeth had been. He gently kissed the same area a couple times before pulling his head back so he could see my face. He rolled to the side and pulled me against him, then brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead.
He was quiet for some time, wonder filling his eyes as he stared at me. We stayed there as if we were the only two people in the world. I should have felt uncomfortable, being so intimate with another person. But I didn’t. I was with James, and it just felt right.
“I still can’t believe you’re here. I’m so sorry I let you down,” he finally said.
“Well you just made up for it. And you cursed!” I joked, because emotionally I wasn’t ready to have a conversation about everything that had happened. I was glad for his arms pulling me closer, because it wasn’t possible for me to move at all yet. I craved his nearness.
“With how I felt, you’re lucky that’s all I said. I’ll never be able to have control around you again, Ariya.”
How was it that I could feel this much for him? We hadn’t even known each other that long, but it just didn’t matter. He was here, alive, with me, and that was all I needed. He pulled back so he could look me in the eye. He looked like he wanted to continue talking but stopped himself.
“You have to rest now.” I nodded, not able to fight him on that as my body was shutting down.
He stayed there stroking my hair, whispering how much he loved me, and my eyes closed safely for the first time in what seemed like a very long time.