Chapter Three

Mona pounded her fist on the bar at Drinks Like A Fish, the local watering hole owned by Hayley’s brother, Randy. Her face was a deep red, her large brown eyes about to pop out of their sockets. With her other hand, she desperately grabbed at her throat and opened her mouth to speak, but she could only manage a cough and some sputtering.

Randy, who was behind the bar, had already sprung into action. He grabbed a glass, scooped up the beverage nozzle, filled it with water, and then quickly handed the glass to Mona. She gratefully gulped it down until the glass was empty. Then she slammed it down on the bar as she caught her breath.

“What are trying to do, kill me?” she gasped.

“Too spicy?” Randy asked.

“Too spicy? That’s putting it mildly,” Mona said, pushing the plate of chicken wings across the bar away from her. “Hand me a towel to clean my hands. I’m afraid if I lick the sauce off I’ll go into cardiac arrest.”

“Once again you’re being way overdramatic, Mona,” Liddy said, sitting on the stool next to her and taking a big bite out of one of the wings.

A dab of sauce was left on her right cheek.

Hayley, who was on the other side of Mona, grabbed a napkin off the bar and dutifully wiped the sauce off of Liddy.

“I can’t believe you can eat those wings and not feel a thing,” Hayley said.

“I grew up eating jalapeño peppers out of the jar. I love spicy food,” Liddy said before grabbing another wing off the plate. “Aren’t you going to try one, Hayley?”

“I’m not sure I have the courage,” Hayley said, eyeing the wings warily.

“Come on. I just saw on the news that eating spicy food makes you live longer,” Randy said.

“I don’t see how!” Mona barked. “My life just flashed before my eyes! I thought I was a total goner!”

Randy filled up another glass of water and placed it in front of Hayley. “Here. Just in case.”

“Don’t do it, Hayley!” Mona cautioned. “Learn from my mistake!”

But Hayley could see in her brother’s eyes that he wanted his sister’s unvarnished opinion, so she picked one up between two fingers and bit a generous piece of chicken off the wing bone. She chewed it for a few seconds before she felt her tongue burning. Mona was right. These were fiery hot! But also zesty and delicious. She tore off another piece of chicken until only the bone was left in her hand.

“Are you friggin’ kidding me?” Mona wailed. “You like them?”

“Some of us have more of a varied culinary palate rather than your usual diet of franks and beans, followed by a Twinkie,” Liddy said, rolling her eyes.

“Randy, they’re amazing,” Hayley said, taking a sip of water to wash the wing down.

“I use Frank’s Red Hot sauce, but my secret ingredient is a pinch of ghost pepper powder.”

“I’m not surprised it’s called ghost pepper,” Mona snarled. “I’m going to be haunted by those wings for days.”

“How about a Bud Light on the house if you stop trashing my wings, Mona?” Randy asked, reaching into the cooler and pulling out a bottle, which he then waved tantalizingly in front of Mona’s face.

“Deal. I guess those wings aren’t half-bad if your stomach’s strong enough,” Mona said, grabbing the beer out of Randy’s hand before he even had the chance to pop the cap off. “I’m just too delicate.”

“Delicate is not a word I would ever associate with you, Mona,” Liddy said.

“Oh, lay off me, will you, Liddy? I’m in no condition to fight back. I’m in a weakened state from those wings. . . .” Mona said, her voice trailing off as Randy appeared with the bottle opener but waited for her to finish her sentence before opening her free beer.

She got the hint. “Because those wings just knocked me over, they were so tasty.”

Satisfied, Randy opened the bottle of beer and Mona happily chugged it down.

“So you’re going to serve these wings at the Restaurant Association Dinner?” Hayley asked, perusing the plate and choosing another wing to eat.

“Yeah, you think it’s too bold of a choice? I mean, most of the restaurants serve food that’s right down the middle, not too exotic, not too spicy, because a majority of the attendees are old and set in their ways and are meat and potatoes kinds of people. But I really want to stand out and make an impression since I only recently started serving food in the bar.”

“Oh, those wings will stand out all right,” Mona said, chuckling. Her eye caught Randy glaring at her. “Because, you know, they’re just so damn good.”

Randy reached in the cooler and gave her another beer, which Mona accepted with a big grin.

“That’ll be four dollars, Mona.”

The grin swiftly faded and she reached into the pocket of her jeans for some dollar bills.

“I think you’ll be the hit of the Restaurant Association Dinner and that’s just my honest opinion as your favorite sister. Completely unbiased,” Hayley said, grabbing more napkins to wipe off the wing sauce covering her face as she chowed down.

“So you promise you’ll write something nice in your column?”

“If the batch of chicken wings you prepare for the dinner is anywhere near as good as these, it’ll be a rave review,” Hayley said.

The ghost pepper had finally gotten to Hayley as she chomped on the last wing from the plate. Her throat burned, her mouth felt like it was on fire, and she began coughing.

“Or an obituary,” Mona snickered.