CHAPTER SEVEN

“So how did you find all of this out so quickly?” Marc asked the magical question.  Alma had summed up the alarming events of the day and it only made sense that he would want to know how her sleuthing skills had become so enhanced when she had barely been able to dredge up a single fact the entire weekend.  

The two had eaten the spaghetti she had prepared and were now sitting on the couch.  Alma had her legs stretched across his lap with her back leaning on the arm rest.

“Well, my friend has access to this system that you can use to find people.  Once you type in Josiah’s birthday, which we found on Marissa’s birth certificate, you can literally follow him through his life.  It’s like you get to see the different apartments he lives in, what cities he moved to, it even shows you potential relatives.  It was pretty nifty.”

“That’s cool.  What friend was this that helped you?”  Marc inquired delving down into the one fact that she wasn’t eager to share.

“Luke, you know him, I remembered he had to use this system to be able to track down addresses so he could send the sheriff to serve papers and such.”  She said his name nonchalantly and hoped that Marc wouldn’t camp out on this topic.  She really wanted to talk about Josiah and how she was going to confront him in the morning.

“Luke, is this the same Luke the lawyer, the ex-boyfriend.”  He sat up in the couch causing her to adjust and move her feet.

“It’s the same Luke, but it was very professional, nothing to worry about.”

“Are you kidding me,” Marc looked at her with total indignation.   

Alma rubbed her face with the palms of her hands.  She could already tell that this was going to be a long night.

“Marc, it was innocent.  Nothing more than a consultation in his office and then I left.  That was it.”

“You know what, I think I’m going to call it a night.”  Marc stood quickly and grabbed his phone and keys off the table.

Alma jumped up and grabbed his arm in a feeble attempt to restrain him.

“Marc, don’t be like that.  It was nothing, I promise.”  She tried to catch his eye, but when he turned to face her she wished she hadn’t.

“Nothing, nothing right.  This is the same Luke that treated you like crap during your entire relationship, right.  The one that played you for a fool and cheated on you numerous times.  The same Luke that hit on Marissa.  The same Luke that went to your family reunion and slept with your cousin, the same cousin that you still don’t talk to, to this very day.  That’s the Luke we’re talking about right?  The same Luke that, after all of the terrible things he did, you kept dating until he finally decided to break up with you right?  The Luke that made the beginning of our relationship a living hell because I had to spend the first several months convincing you that I wasn’t some jack off like him.  That’s the Luke that you went to and sat in his office and no doubt grinned and carried on.”

“Marc, it was nothing, I promise.”  She had figured Marc wouldn’t be happy that she had gone to see Luke, but she had never forecast the amount of anger that he was exuding.

“Oh, it was nothing alright.  Nothing to him, but I’m pretty sure it meant something to you.  Riddle me this, did you tell him we were engaged?”  Marc looked straight into her soul and dared her to lie.

“He already knows we’re dating.”

“That’s not what I asked you.  No doubt you told him that Marissa was married.  Did you tell him that you were engaged to be married?”

“No, we would’ve gotten around to it, but I mentioned my mom and I got choked up and…” she felt the emotions welling up, but this time it wasn’t based on her mom’s passing.

“Do you want to know why I’m so upset about this, why all of this is such a problem?” 

Alma nodded and he continued.

“It’s because I have an excellent memory, it’s a blessing and a curse at times.  Do you remember that you told me that being attracted to bad boys was a part of your genetic makeup and then you gushed about how different I was from all the other guys you dated?  You also made the mistake of telling me that Luke had been like your kryptonite.  Do you remember using those words?  Probably not, but I did, because that’s pretty powerful, kryptonite.  Especially once you told me how he dogged you out like you were nothing and then for some reason he ended up being the one to end it, not you.  What woman fools with a man that hits on her sister?  What woman keeps dating a man that sleeps with her cousin?  And let me help you out, they weren’t the only ones that he tried to fool around with, those are just the ones you found out about.  Then, there’s this Josiah thing, which is way bigger to you than it should be, and you go running up in his office.  You don’t tell me about it.  Didn’t even mention it to me and we sat down across from each other yesterday morning.  You’ve got me looking like boo boo the fool while you’re out here grinning and prancing around in front of your ex.  You diminished me in his eyes.  You know that right.  It won’t be long and he’s going to end up calling you, trying to see if there’s some opening for him.  All your actions did was just tell him that you were still emotionally available.  Well let me help you out.  I’m not you.  I’m not going to sit around and let you tap dance on my heart while you try to figure out how Mr. Kryptonite crept back into your life.  I’m going to exit stage right and get on with my life.”

His words hurt.  He had barely taken a breath and Alma knew not to interrupt.  Somewhere in his tirade there had been a thread of truth and it hurt.  

“Please, don’t leave,” she pleaded as he made his way to the door.

“As bad as he treated you Alma, what could make you desperate enough to go crawling back to him and sit and grin in his office for an hour?  You could have gone to any other attorney and paid their measly fee.  You’ve got the money, so why him?”

He shook his head and pulled the door open.

“And another thing, you’re spending all your time investigating poor Mr. Josiah, I mean honestly, who cares why that sad little old man wants to pretend to be your sister’s father, if that’s what he’s doing.  Maybe he loved your mother, I don’t know, but who cares.  Instead of focusing all of this laser like attention on him, you should’ve been checking out Justin.  As long as we’re coming clean, you might want to ask him about his baby’s mama when he gets back from his honeymoon with your sister.”

Alma’s hand was already in motion before she realized that she had slapped him.

“Truth hurts doesn’t it?” Marc rubbed his face while he spoke. “Where was all of this concern when Justin was out eating lunch with some girl and rubbing her pregnant belly?  If you want to help your sister, you might need to butt out of her life and focus on your own relationships,” with that he pulled the door closed behind him.

*      *      *      *      *

Marc pulled his phone out as soon as he reached his car.

It rang a couple of times before his father answered.  

“Dad, you got time for a visit?  I need someone to talk to.”  

*      *      *      *      *

Alma woke up the next morning wishing that the night before had just been a figment of her imagination.  Marc’s outburst had been unexpected, but once he left and she had a chance to think it over, it was completely understandable.  Marc had been the one person that she had told nearly all of her secrets to.  It was for that reason that he felt that her being in Luke’s presence was a dangerous thing.  Luke was good looking, but he had never treated her good.  She had always known he wasn’t the best man for her, but she loved the attention she got when they were together.  It was as though her stock went up that she had been able to snag such a man.  He met all of the ideals of a Hollywood hunk, complete with all of the drama you would expect.  She had spent the majority of that relationship fighting with the women who had vied to take her place.  Once the relationship had finally ended she had wished that she had been the one to cut it off, to finally say this is enough, but that wasn’t what had happened.  They had broken up and gotten back together more times than she could count and it was the last time that they were off again that he had finally decided that being back on again wasn’t an option.  Alma had literally begged him to get back together.  She hadn’t told Marc that part.  It had been too embarrassing and revealed a character flaw in herself that she had been so desperate for his validation that she had demeaned herself on a whole other level.  She wondered if she had found her way in his office because she really wanted to find out the truth about Josiah or whether it was because she had lost thirty pounds and her natural hair had grown out so thick and full.  She had straightened it for the first time for Marissa’s wedding and it fell to the middle of her back in a shiny swath of thick dark brown strands  That Luke had shown her so much attention and had lavished her with compliments had made her day.  It felt like a form of validation even if she had no intention of trying to get back together with him.  That she had looked to him for approval was the problem that Marc had angrily raised.  She knew he was right.  She had thought about calling to apologize this morning, but decided against it.  There was no need going down that path right now.  She needed to apologize in person and it needed to be meaningful.  If she took him at his word he had called off not only their engagement last night, but their entire relationship.  She prayed that a little time would allow cooler heads to prevail.  

She had gotten dressed on autopilot and now found herself heading toward the local coffee shop she had suggested to Josiah as a meeting spot.

She pulled into the parking lot just as he was climbing out of the cab.  She watched him slowly clamber from the vehicle looking almost like a marionette whose strings were being controlled by someone else.  She felt a twinge of guilt as she watched how feeble he seemed.  Stranger or not, surely she could have picked him up and been confident of her ability to protect herself.  Josiah was no threat to anyone, at least not physically.  He hadn’t noticed her and she was able to park her car undetected.  She walked inside a few minutes later and saw him sitting with his back towards her.  That was yet another give away that he was harmless.  True gangsters always faced the door.  That was a little trick that Marc had told her.  It was a safety thing and he always insisted on that seat so he could keep his eyes on the surroundings.  She was wistful as she thought of how he was always concerned for her safety.  She fought the urge to leave Josiah sitting alone so she could rush to Marc’s house before he left for work and apologize over and over until he finally accepted.

“Good morning,” she greeted Josiah the imposter dryly.  The man made the motion that he was cordially rising to meet her, but his behind never left his seat.

“Good morning, how are you this morning?”  He face was brightened with a smile that added life to his countenance.  He was such a kindly looking old man.  The kind that you would expect to greet you at Walmart, or be the crossing guard at the local elementary school, or a senior deacon that sung in the male chorus.  Why on earth would he waste his time lying about who he was?  

“I’m doing well.  Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.  Have you ordered yet?”  She knew he hadn’t since he’d only sat down a few moments before she had entered.

Just as she asked the waitress magically appeared with a note pad for their drink order.

The woman looked at Josiah and asked, “What can I get for you this morning sugar?” Josiah ordered a water and a black coffee.  

“What about you sweetie?” The woman looked at Alma and she chose a latte.  

The woman disappeared and promised to return.

With all the sugary sweetness that the waitress had oozed, Alma felt no need to sugar coat her purpose.  

“Josiah, maybe you’d like to fill me in on who you really are since it’s not Josiah Carter.”  

Josiah lowered his head as he chuckled.  He seemed tickled that she had uncovered his ruse, but not the least bit alarmed or worried.

He looked back up just as the waitress returned with their drinks.  Alma sat quiet waiting for the woman to disappear, but she set the drinks down and reached into her apron pocket to retrieve her notepad.

“Are you ready to order darling,” she turned her attention to Josiah.  

Josiah looked down at the menu, but Alma interrupted, “I think we need a few more minutes.”  The waitress nodded and began to place her pad back in its holster, when Josiah spoke up.

“Well, I’m ready now.  Alma, why don’t you look at the menu while I order to see if you can decide what you want.”  Alma was shocked as Josiah began to order, completely ignoring her and the fact that she knew he wasn’t the man he was pretending to be.

The woman jotted down the wheat toast, scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns and bacon he had ordered.  Alma wasn’t sure where he was going to put it all.

“What about you Sweet pea,” the waitress readied her pen.

“I’ll just have a small bowl of oatmeal and fruit.” Alma waited for the woman to finish writing and walk away.

“So, you were about to tell me who you really are.”  Alma was undeterred by Josiah’s stall tactics.

“Well, why don’t you start by telling me what you know and I can fill in the rest for you.”

“I know Josiah’s dead so I’d say you have a lot of blanks to fill in.”

Josiah laughed again.  

“You are quite the personality.  You don’t pull any punches do you?  That was one of your mom’s strong points.  So, you are quite right, Josiah is dead and I’m not his incarnation. My real name is Leviticus Kitrell.”

“Well, Josiah is my sister’s father.  So just how exactly do you fit into this?”

“Well, truth be told, Josiah is the name on your sister’s birth certificate, but he was never her father.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, I’m not sure if you realize this or not, but you can put about anyone’s name on a birth certificate.  That doesn’t make them your father.  As a matter of fact, plenty of women name the one that they wish was the father.  The one that had the good job with the benefits or didn’t have a criminal record.  The one that she hopes she can convince that he’s the father.  Isn’t that what all of these paternity court shows are all about?  Some girl trying to convince some guy that he’s the daddy of their baby, whether it’s true or not?”

“Are you saying that my mom was a liar?”

“I’m just saying that sometimes a man is so unqualified for fatherhood that women name someone else, or worse, they don’t name anyone at all.”  

Josiah, or Leviticus as he now claimed to be, had no idea what a chord he had struck with Alma.  She nearly burst into tears right then.  Instead she excused herself and made her way into the women’s restroom.  Her mom had left the entry for her father blank on her birth certificate.  It simply stated “unknown”.  When she’d had to get a copy of her birth certificate for college it had nearly broke her heart to see the void whether her father’s name should have been.  Her mom hadn’t tried to explain it.  When Marissa had gone on her fatherhood search she at least had a name to search for.  That Leviticus was claiming her mom had created a name wasn’t unlikely in the least.  Maybe she decided that a fake name was better than no name when she had her second child.  Josiah had never been a part of Marissa’s life, but he had paid child support, albeit against his will.  Maybe that was just her mom’s strategy to make ends meet as a single mother.

Alma took a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself.  She exited the bathroom just in time to see Flo, as she had nicknamed her in her mind, leaving the table.  All she need was to say, “Kiss my grits” for the image from the seventies TV show to be complete.  

Leviticus was buttering his toast when she sat back down.  He looked up and nodded his head to acknowledge her return.

She sat down and stirred her oatmeal with the large soup spoon Flo had provided.  She didn’t have much of an appetite for the oatmeal or even the rest of the conversation.  Leviticus picked up the conversation as though she had never left.

“So, what could I do so bad that she didn’t want to include my name?  I’m sure that’s what you want to know.  Well, I’ll just start off by stating that I was no saint.  I know you’ve probably done some research on Josiah, but let me fill you in on Leviticus.  I started off as a good kid.  Football team, decent student, not great, but I could’ve made it in college.  Well, the war came and they were drafting kids right out of high school.  One of my uncles recommended that I join the Air Force.  Since the draft was inevitable, I could choose the branch that was least likely to have me in harm’s way on the front line.  Vietnam was going on and everyone that went and actually came back, came back different.  I ended up in Turkey and served my four years.  I don’t regret that decision, but I regret not listening to my uncle and his warning about drinking.  Alcoholism runs in the family, he said.  If you like the taste of it, run from it, he cautioned.  But what did I know? I was 18 and the commander allowed us to drink.  His position was if you’re old enough to fight and die for your country then you’re old enough to have a drink.  It made sense at the time, but that was the beginning of my losing battle with alcohol.”

Leviticus paused long enough to take a bite of food and Flo miraculously appeared with the bill.  Leviticus reached for it, but Alma was quicker to the draw.

“I insist,” she stated.  She had let Leviticus share his tale and she couldn’t help but be riveted.  He had introduced himself to her as a liar, but now she had no doubt that he was telling her the truth.  At least some portion of the truth.  He hadn’t gotten to whatever it was he had done that had convinced her mom not to name him on Marisa’s birth certificate, but she was certain it was coming.

“So I get out of the military, it was an honorable discharge, but that was a courtesy.  My drinking had gotten to the point that I had become sloppy in some areas.  They encouraged me not to re-enlist and I took them up on the offer.  So here I was, this 22 year old strapping young veteran with a high school diploma and no plan at all for the future.  I worked odd jobs here and there, but I drank more than I worked.  I met your mom out at a club.  She was this foxy young thing.  She had this nice fro and shape that wouldn’t quit.  She put me in mind of a young Pam Grier.  All of the fellas were trying to dance with her.  She danced with a few and then I got my turn,” he laughed at his memories.

“Wow, I was smooth back then.  I spent so much time in bars and nightclubs drinking that I picked up a few dance moves along the way.  One of the good things about the military is that you meet people from all over the world.  There was this dude from New York that always knew all of the latest music and dances, even way over in Turkey.  When I finally returned stateside, I could get down with the best of them and your mom was feeling my vibe.  We’ll just say that one thing led to another and she became my lady.  We shacked up for a while and somewhere along the way she realized that I was a mean drunk.  I never hit her, that’s not how I was raised, but I broke her heart on more than one occasion.  I flirted with lots of other women, went home with a couple, I was always between jobs, it seemed like if I ever tried to take one step forward I would end up ten steps back.  I could never get ahead.  I ended up in this fight one night.  Flirting with the wrong man’s woman and dude pulled a knife on me.  Long story short, I got the knife away from him and when the cops showed up dude said it was my knife.  I spent some time in prison for that.  I got cleaned up in prison, but the minute I got out I found myself looking for your mother.  She was with some other joker.  Josiah.  He was a mean one and he didn’t mind putting his hands on your mother.  I showed back up, trying to be a savior of sorts, but it wasn’t long before I realize that an ex-con couldn’t get a job and I ended up selling pharmaceuticals as the young folks call them now.  Next thing I knew I was back in prison and your mom had moved on.  That’s the cliff notes version, but it’s the truth, which is what you’re looking for right?”

Alma nodded.  As she sat across this man she had a moment of inspiration.

“So you knew the real Josiah,” she hesitated a moment, “did you know my father?”

“All I knew about your father was that your mom was better off without him.  What did your mom tell you about him?”

“Just that.  She didn’t even give me a name.”

“And you didn’t ask?”

“I did, when I was younger.  Let’s just say that circumstances made it such that I just didn’t care.  If he didn’t want to know who I was then I certainly wasn’t going to go out of my way trying to find out who he was.”  If she had to be honest she hadn’t thought twice about her decision not to know her father until Marissa had started her search.  With her mother now dead she had no way of locating the rolling stone that had left an avalanche of misery in his wake.  

“Look, I know my showing up now is real presumptuous.  I’ve been a sorry excuse for a human being.  Back then it was nothing for a man to walk away from his family and not look back.  Today, it’s different.  More men are determined to be in their children’s lives even if they’re not with their baby’s mama, and that’s a good thing.  I just hope that Marissa can find it in her heart to forgive me when she finds out the real truth about who I am.”

Alma looked across at him.  He didn’t know Marissa well enough to know that she had already forgiven him the minute he stepped foot in the church.  Alma decided right then that if this really was Marissa’s father then she would make nice with him.  There was no need for Marissa to have to choose who she wanted to spend a holiday with or have Alma make family gatherings awkward because Marissa had decided that her heart was big enough to love yet another person.

Alma was the one that didn’t forgive.  She had no problem cutting someone off if she felt they didn’t mean her any good or if they didn’t mean her loved ones any good.  She had a small circle, but she was fiercely loyal and guarded about who she let in.  It had probably started when she was a little girl.  Having a father willfully abandon you was enough to test the parameters of anyone’s ability to trust someone.  

“Look, Josiah…I mean Leviticus, if Marissa loves you then I can’t help but accept you too.  It’s the least I can do.  There’s still the matter of the DNA test.  It will take a couple of weeks to come back, but I’m sure it will confirm what you’re telling me.”

Alma thought she noticed a streak of fear appear on his face, but it was quickly replaced with a coughing spell.  The old man coughed until she thought he had literally dislodged a lung.  He nodded at her as he excused himself from the table.  The lingering coughs trailed him into the restroom.  

Alma waved Flo back over so she could settle up.  She looked down at her phone while she waited for Leviticus to return.  There were no texts from Marc.  She had hoped that he would have cooled off and reached out to her, but nothing.  It was apparent that the ball was squarely in her court.  She decided that she would try to make contact with him before the day was out.  She assumed he was at work today so she planned to wait for him in the parking lot of his office.  She wasn’t sure how he would respond.  No one liked drama at their workplace, but if he didn’t want to talk she wouldn’t press the issue and she would leave.  She was determined not to do anything that could remotely give the appearance of a scene.  Marc was on the partner track and she wasn’t going to jeopardize that for him.

Leviticus came back from the bathroom.  His eyes looked watery like he had coughed so hard he had agitated his tear ducts.

“I’m sorry about that.  I have those spells every so often.  They’re no fun, but I guess that’s part of the curse of getting old.”  He attempted a joke and she smiled politely.

“Look, I’m sure you’re a delightful old man and my sister will look forward to getting to know you.  I will have to excuse myself, but thank you for taking the time to give me some comfort around your surprise appearance at the wedding.  Please enjoy the rest of your meal on me.  I’ve already paid and included a tip.”  Flo circled back around to pick up the envelope with the receipt almost on cue.

“Well, I hate for you to run out so quickly.  I was hoping to find out more about Marissa.  I’m afraid I’ve only had snatches of time with her, what with the wedding and all.”

“Marissa will be back from her honeymoon on Sunday.   I know this is a topic of conversation that she would enjoy sharing with you.  It was nice meeting you Leviticus.”  Alma grabbed her purse and left the café. 

*      *      *      *      *

Marc walked out to his office with a small group of his co-workers.  They were especially talkative since there was talk that the company had decided upon their new manager.  He tried to appear engaged, but he had been distracted all day by his fight with Alma.  He had managed to talk to his father and despite his father’s normally spot on advice, his elder had been unable to come up with any suggestions.  Instead he had suggested that the two of them pray about what Marc should do in this situation.

If anyone knew Marc’s low tolerance for cheating it was his father.  Not that either of them had ever expected Alma to be the one that would reach out and reconnect with her emotionally and verbally abusive ex.  Even still, Marc’s high school sweetheart had waited until she went away to college to cheat on him.  He had planned to propose when they graduated, but that had been when one of his frat brothers on the campus had given him the heads up that she was spending a lot of time with one of the nontraditional students that was taking classes on campus.  

He hadn’t loved anyone else and had been certain that the two of them would have a similar love story to his own parents that had also dated in high school.  His ex-girlfriends indiscretions had devastated him.  He hadn’t even imagined that she was capable of such a thing.  Now he realized that everyone was capable of anything given the right circumstances.    

He had waved bye at the last of his co-workers as he made his way to the distant row his car sat in.  He had gotten to work late that day.  It was completely uncharacteristic for him, but he had had a long night tossing and turning even after he and his father had spoken.

It was then that he noticed Alma sitting in the car next to his.  She was looking at him and he could tell that she was trying to gauge his response.  He honestly wasn’t sure what his response was.  He was still upset and he was absolutely certain that he didn’t want to hear any more of her lame excuses.

She rolled the window down.

“I’m hoping that you’ll give me the opportunity to give you a proper apology.”  She looked remorseful.  He looked around the parking lot and saw that everyone else was peeling out of the lot.  He nodded at her and she unlocked her car doors.  He climbed into the front passenger seat next to her.

“Look, I really don’t have anything to say,” he started.  If nothing else he should be honest.  Part of what he had wrestled with the night before was how he would ask for his ring back.  He had hinted that their engagement was over, but he knew that asking for the ring would seal up any doubt that she may have had about his intentions.

“Good, because I’m the one that made the mistake and I should be the one to do all of the talking.  I just want you to hear me out.”  She paused until he nodded that it was okay for her to continue.

“So how about we start at the beginning,” she began.  She noticed that she was wringing her hands which was something she only did when she was about to embark on an extremely difficult task.  “I’m insecure.  I know this, but I feel like I still need approval at times, specifically from men.  I know you’ve had a challenge trying to understand why I was so bent on getting to the bottom of the Josiah mystery.  He’s Leviticus by the way, but we can talk about that later.”  She interrupted herself with that tidbit and he shrugged his shoulders.  He couldn’t be any more disinterested in Josiah or Leviticus.  When he left the relationship he was going to leave all of that drama behind as well.  

“I never told you this before, but I met my father before.”  He was trying to appear disinterested, mainly so she wouldn’t get any false hope from the conversation, but this fact stunned him.

“I thought you didn’t know who he was.”

“I don’t, but one day when I was maybe five or six, my mom told me that I was going to meet my father.  She dressed me up all cute and gave me two fresh ponytails like I was going to church for Easter.  She fussed over me so that morning.  She made the mistake of telling me that I was going to meet my father that day.  Oh you would’ve thought I was a float in the Christmas day parade.  I was on cloud nine and so excited.  I couldn’t wait until we finally got in the car to go meet him.”

She paused a second and he noticed that her eyes were tearing up.

“It seemed like the drive took forever.  I kept looking out the window expecting this father to miraculously appear, but my mom kept driving.  When she finally stopped we were by this lot that was full of steel beams and construction workers either up top or driving a truck below or loitering.  It was full of men.  Here I was with my face all shiny from the cocoa butter my mom had rubbed all over me and my little eyes were darting back and forth at every face that stood out there.  Was that him, or that one, or that one,” she wiped at the tear that fell.

“My mom told me to wait in the car and she would be right back.  I watched her go over and talk to some man and he pointed up in the air.  My daddy must have been working on one of the higher floors.  She looked up, but didn’t come back to the car.  Maybe five minutes later and a bell went off.  It was like everything shut down and the men all started filing down out of the building and out into the street.  There were a couple of food trucks and most of the men were headed toward them.  I looked at every dirty face.  They all had on hardhats and were dusty.  A few of the men smiled at me, a couple of them waved and I smiled back.  Like I was a child on audition for her daddy’s love.  Every time they gave me their attention it was like my heart would stop and I would wonder if that was the one.”

He had never heard this story before and by the way the tears were now flowing he was fairly certain she hadn’t shared it with many people, maybe not anyone.  She now had his full attention.  Watching her cry made him want to reach out and embrace her, but he fought the urge.  

“That’s when I noticed that my mom was talking to a man.  It wasn’t until later that I realized that she had dressed up too.  She had on this really pretty bright floral dress and it stood out in the middle of all the dust.  While she was talking the man just kept shaking his head.  She pointed towards the car, towards me and I sat up as straight as I could.  I knew that that man was my daddy.  I was finally going to meet him.  The man she was talking to looked over at the car and didn’t even smile.  I remember him holding up both of his hands like he was under arrest and shaking his head no.  He walked off from my mom and walked right past the car.  He didn’t even glance down.” She began to weep out loud and he couldn’t resist placing a hand on her back and gently rubbing in a circular motion, in a feeble attempt to console her.

“My face was pressed to the window and it was like I was trying to will him to look at me.  I was all dressed up and shiny, didn’t my daddy want me?”

Marc was silent as she sobbed.  He felt his own eyes begin to burn and water up.  What kind of jerk could do that?  His emotion stemmed from anger that any little girl would have to deal with a horrible situation like that and especially not Alma.

“Whether or not he wanted you doesn’t determine your worth,” Marc spoke softly.

“I know this.  In my head I know this, but in my heart, I can’t stand rejection.  It’s like I cling to relationships, even horrible ones like I had with Luke.  Once he broke up with me the last time it just made me so self-conscious.  He’s not my kryptonite as in he makes me weak, he was my kryptonite because he left the relationship with all of the power.  I guess subconsciously I was hoping that now that I had lost the weight, now that I had a fiancée, now that I felt good about myself again, that I could walk into his office and show him what he missed out on.  I promise I didn’t want him, not even a little bit.  I just wanted him to want me so I could reject him.  It’s stupid I know.  I just wanted the power back.  To be the one that left him.”

Marc pulled her into a warm hug.  It was a bit awkward with the middle console, but he didn’t care.  Her explanation made all the sense in the world and was everything he needed to hear.  He had been so worried that she had gone into Luke’s office prancing around hoping he would take her back that his own insecurities about having his woman cheat on him had flared up.

“I guess we both have our flaws.  Thank you for telling me all this.  I didn’t realize you had dealt with so much.  It helps give some perspective on why you’ve been so insane with this Josia...I mean Leviticus thing.  You’re just trying to protect your little sister from the same kind of hurt you suffered.”

Alma laughed in such a way that the humor didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I wish I was so selfless.  As long as I’m coming clean then you should know that I was just scared that she would have her father and then three would become a crowd.  That I wouldn’t fit into that new family unit.  To be perfectly honest, I was hoping that he wasn’t her father.  After my dad walked away that day, my mom got back into the car and said that she never found him, but I knew she was lying to protect my feelings.  I cried and I cried.  My daddy didn't want me. My mom was my family and then my sister.  I guess I feel a little threatened that Leviticus could walk in here and take it all away.  I also feel a bit jealous because her dad loves her.”

“Girl, you know Marissa would die for you.  There is no way that she would allow some stranger to shut you out, even if he was her dad.  Besides, your family is expanding.  You have me, my parents and, you may not want them, but my siblings also come with the deal.”

“Does that mean we’re still engaged?”  Alma asked timidly and Marc gave her a reassuring smile.

“Yes, I still want your crazy behind to be my wife.  Let’s just get this straight, ex-boyfriends are a deal breaker for me.  There is no room in our relationship for some other man.”

“Or woman,” Alma added knowing that Marc had his share of ex-girlfriends.

 “Oh that’s not a problem at all.  When I end my relationships, I end them.  I don’t leave any gaps for people to get confused.”  He leaned in to kiss Alma and she leaned in to meet him.

“Let’s go get something to eat.”

“I was hoping you were hungry too.  You are my kind of woman.  Let me drive.  We can take my car.”  Marc opened his door and climbed out before Alma could object.  He was glad they had smoothed everything over.  He had almost shared what Josiah told him the morning of Marissa’s wedding, but since he was now Leviticus Marc wasn’t sure whether what he had told him was even true or not.  He and Alma had covered a lot of ground today so he decided that it would be better to let that reveal itself in due time.  And it was bound to come out soon enough.

*     *     *     *     *

Alma climbed into Marc’s car grateful that he had given her an opportunity to explain.  She knew getting Luke’s help on Leviticus’ background was no longer an option.  She would just start to google his name and see if she got any hits.  If he was telling the truth then she should find him in a criminal database of some kind.  She would figure it out or she would just find another attorney.  Attorneys were a dime a dozen these days.  Besides, Alma was starting to think that if Marissa wasn’t interested in knowing every iota of information, then maybe she should just let it go.

She decided that she would wait until their food arrived before she asked Marc to explain what he had meant last night about Justin rubbing pregnant bellies.