SCENE 1

The hall of a large house belonging to GREEN, the banker. MAC, eating sunflower seeds and reading from a pamphlet, waits while his henchman, PORK, nervously prepares to cut a canvas out of a frame he is holding.

MAC

This guy lived most of his life in poverty …

PORK

Well, he sure made a killing at some point. Look at all the stuff in here.

MAC

Not the owner of the house. The painter. Tuberculosis, cataracts, wife died, son killed in the war … and the few paintings he sold, he sold for pennies … He croaks and, two years later, they’re going for thousands.

PORK is about to start cutting.

MAC

Slowly, slowly … it’s not much good to us if you carve it up.

PORK

I’m a little nervous. Maybe you should do it.

MAC

If I keep doing it, how you ever gonna learn? You want to be a snatch-and-grab artist your whole life?

PORK

It’s what I’m good at.

MAC

If you’re so good at it, how come you spent most of the past ten years in the slammer? (gestures to painting) Just be patient. If you butcher it, the master of the house isn’t gonna want it back.

PORK

That’s the plan? You’re gonna try to sell it back to him?

MAC

Guys who owns houses like this, they love their art, especially if it’s from Europe. They probably love it more than they love their kids.

PORK

Or I guess we’d be stealing their kids.

MAC

If we were the kind of people who stole kids … which we’re not. (hears something) Shhhh … What was –

PORK reaches inside his coat, reveals a gun. MAC shakes his head. PORK drops his hand, leaving the gun in his jacket.

IVES

(from the darkness) Okay … stop right there … and just stay … very still. (approaches while holding his own gun) You. Drop the knife and step away from the painting.

PORK looks at MAC. MAC just smiles and steps a little towards IVES.

MAC

He can’t do that.

IVES

Why not?

MAC

He’s not finished yet.

PORK

You want me to drop him?

MAC

Not yet …

IVES

Hey, if anybody’s gonna be dropping people here, pal … You think I don’t know how to use this thing or something?

MAC

No. If Pinkerton agents know anything, they know how to shoot people.

PORK

One of them shot my brother for no reason.

MAC

Well, he was beating the crap out of someone at the time.

PORK

Yeah, a goddamn strikebreaker.

MAC

Right. Yeah … (to IVES) He means for no good reason.

IVES

(to PORK) I told you to step away from that painting.

MAC

Look, I need to ask you a question. Do you have a family … people who need your financial support?

IVES

Yeah, my mother. What of it?

MAC

Well, who’s gonna take care of her if you’re not around?

IVES

You keep talking like I’m the one in danger here.

MAC

And you should probably start asking yourself why that is. (nods at PORK)

PORK shows IVES the gun in his jacket.

MAC

Now, you gonna let us finish our work here … and offer you a tidy sum to let us be on our way, or do you want to play this thing out to its conclusion?

IVES

When you say … “a tidy sum,” what would you have in mind?

MAC nods to PORK. PORK continues cutting.

MAC

Well, that’s something to be negotiated … (smiling and approaching IVES) You’re a good man, aren’t you? I mean you consider yourself to be a good man.

IVES

Well, I –

MAC

The point is, don’t let this change that opinion of yourself. Morality is just something that got made up to stop everyone from getting their fair share.

PORK

(rolling up the canvas) Done …

MAC

Okay, then. Let’s go. It’s time to celebrate.

MAC puts arm around IVES.

IVES

You celebrate every time you steal something?

MAC

No. Just whenever we make a new friend.

They all leave.

Blackout.