My tongue swept my bottom lip as I smoothed the skirt of my maid of honor pale yellow chiffon dress a week later. Admiring my reflection in the mirror of what used to be Dahlia’s bedroom in her old house, I twirled around. The gown was beautiful. Strapless, with a short train, it made me feel like a princess when I put it on the first time. Having a best friend owning a bridal and evening gowns shop had many advantages. Never again would I be wearing a dress that didn’t fit me like a second skin. I had picked this gown a few months back and hadn’t tried it again since. Admiring it, I fell in love with it all over again. Squirming, I adjusted the fabric over my breasts, annoyed about my upcoming periods making my boobs sensitive and swollen. Poor timing.
With a hand, I rubbed my stomach. My hormones had always been a crazy ride. And this time would be no exception. The wedding would be a crying fest if I didn’t get myself under control. I had a tendency to be a hormonal crier. And booze would now not only feed my insomnia, but also my tears. I sighed. Getting drunk and making a fool of myself this weekend wasn’t an option. Perhaps this was a good thing, though. My upcoming situation would also prevent me from jumping Tucker like a needy girlfriend the moment we met again.
The universe had decided to send me a message. A very clear message. For once, maybe I should just listen.
Or I could push the thought away and categorize it as nonsense.
Tomorrow was my best friend’s wedding, and a glass—or two—of champagne wouldn’t kill me. I deserved some fun of my own. Two glasses. Yes, I’d draw the line there.
With my phone in hand, I checked the time, an excuse to see if Tucker had sent me a text message. Nothing. His flight was scheduled to land sometime in the middle of the afternoon. I offered to pick him up from the airport since I got here in the morning, but he had a rental and was meeting Nick for some last-minute tuxedo adjustments.
I loved the friendship thing we got going on. Physical, sexual, intellectual. We had really bonded over the last six weeks. Inserting himself into my daily life, Tucker had taken over a huge part of my time. We clicked. No better word described us. And I cherished every second we spent talking and goofing around and confiding in each other.
We’d graduated from superficial conversations full of sexual promises and innuendos. Everything about Tucker Philips made sense to me now. His fears. His doubts. His insecurities. The only thing I still hadn’t figured out was the shadow I sometimes perceived in his gaze. And my gut told me it was quite recent, nothing related to his childhood. When he thought no one was paying him attention. But it languished there. In the darkness of his chocolate-brown irises. I noticed it. More than once.
Someday, I’d ask him about it. If our friendship survived this weekend. Because we were supposed to have sex again. As a part of our agreement. My body tingled just at the thought of it. And the memories of that day when we singed the sheets of my hotel room. Even over a month later. His lips on my skin. His hands everywhere. The way he transformed me into an inferno, burning hotter for him the more we pleasured each other. And the promises of a repeat performance this weekend before going our separate ways. How could I not be obsessed with him? Still, I had no idea how we both kept things PG-13 both weekends we spent together considering the sizzling chemistry and undeniable attraction we shared.
The thought of never lying in his arms again after this weekend twisted my stomach. It’d be the end of many chapters we were writing together. And the end of that physical connection I’d never experienced with anyone else before him. And despite myself, I loved us together. Even when sex wasn’t a part of the equation.
My heart rate accelerated. Something coiled my insides.
A million questions swirled in my head. And deep down, I feared if we got intimate again, it would put our blooming friendship at risk. And break the fragile equilibrium between us. I loved the chase. Our relationship. The restraint and the magnetism pulling us toward each other. Tucker and I were sexual people. We loved sex. A lot. And somehow, we both had resisted our number one temptation while growing closer. Pride danced in me at the idea we completed each other and could rely on the other when we lacked strength.
I inhaled, wishing it would calm the bouncing balls of nerves hitting the walls of my chest.
The way he held me when I visited him in Chicago and two weekends ago in Nashville, as if I mattered to him—as if I were his whole world—gambled with my emotions. Now I feared I’d gotten attached to him more than I should. With someone else, a relationship, love, could be possible. But not with a man allergic to commitment. I would only set myself up for disappointment in the end. And another broken heart. And my heart had enough scars already.
Yeah, I’d ridden that rollercoaster before. We shared great sex. I fell in love. Then the guy decided I wasn’t worth whatever attachment issues he struggled with. Result? Another Addison Wilde failed love story. Instructions? Start over and repeat. Until the parts of my heart, held only by a flimsy thread, healed while I vowed to a celibate life. No, thank you. I yearned for love spelled in giant glittery letters. The one you could never overcome because it rattled your core just thinking about losing it. The thing movies and novels were made of.
Since last night after we hung up, my heart and head had been debating if Tucker and I should go forward with our plan or forfeit it and continue to nurture our friendship instead. In a platonic way. One option kept my heart safe, the other put it at risk. Our relationship meant a lot to me. It defied logic. Even my own. But I wouldn’t want to live without it for another day.
With my gaze locked on my figure, I twirled one last time, loving the cascade of the fabric as the dress fell back in place. I lowered the zipper, watching the gown billow to the floor at my feet before picking it up and hanging it behind the door. I caressed the bodice between my fingers, my mind drifting to Tucker. Again. A stupid smile curled my lips. My heart sang in my chest. Seeing him tonight signified making a decision. And my head and my heart hadn’t settled yet. I required more time. Whatever my heart desired, the guy didn’t do relationships. And he’d been adamant about it. Multiple times. Yes, I had to follow my head. Our off-the-charts sexual compatibility shouldn’t be explored further. Okay, I would talk to him. Explain how I felt. And he would agree. Because it made sense.
I nodded, confident of my position.
Our insane chemistry should be put to better use.
Doubts crippled me.
How could I stay friends with a guy my heart ached for without risking it in the process?
A dreadful feeling washed over me, and I buried my face in my hands with a growl.
Why did it trouble all my cells thinking we wouldn’t share any intimacy again?
Despite what I told myself, I couldn’t imagine a life without Tucker Philips in it. One in which he called me every day, held me at night, chasing away the bad guys in my dreams or fighting my insomnia. The sight of him in pressed suits or his enticing smirks directed at me with barely contained lust got me giddy. And shot me with doses of calm. Even when I tried to lock my heart from the hurt, the man with dark skin and sparkling irises had stolen a huge chunk of it.
No. No, no, no. I refused to acknowledge what I already knew. I would fight this.
Closing my eyes, I counted to three, and leaving my new resolves behind, I grabbed my phone again, re-reading our last text exchange.
Yeah, I was that weak.
Tucker: Counting the days till I see you again.
Tucker: I lied.
Me: Why? When?
Tucker: It’s more like hours, to be honest. Sweetheart, we’ve been patient enough. I want you. Under me. Over me. Sitting on my face. On all-fours. And in a dozen other different ways.
Me: Oh Tuck. I want you too. I want it all. That tongue of yours... Just thinking about it makes me wet.
The smile stretching my lips probably mirrored the one I had at the same exact moment we wrote this. And the anticipation tumbling in my lower belly had grown stronger over the hours.
Me: Tuck...
Tucker: What’s wrong, Wilde?
Me: I’m happy. How did we get here?
Tucker: What do you mean?
Me: Us. How did we get so comfortable together? So close? Our friendship. It’s significant to me.
Tucker: No idea. But I regret nothing. You’ve become the most important person in my life. With you, I don’t feel like I’m stuck. I feel like I’m living.
Stuck? I had noticed the word the first time. Could it explain the shadow in his eyes? One day, I’d get to the bottom of it. Soon. Because I hated the idea that something was bothering him.
Tucker: Oh fuck. Can we talk later? I’ll be late if I don’t leave in like ten minutes.
Me: Sure.
Tucker: I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Don’t miss me too much *winking emoji* And don’t miss your bus or I’ll come to get you myself.
Me: You wouldn’t.
Tucker: Try me. I already did. Twice.
Me: I know. Wanted to hear you say it.
Me: See you later.
I laughed because I loved the idea of him coming to get me, all caveman-like, handsome and sexy, scooping me over his shoulder to carry me where I was supposed to be.
With a shake of my head, I cleared my stupid grin. My heart banged a little faster. That man... Gosh, I really missed him. A warm shiver zipped through me. And now I was lying to myself. Ohmyfuckinggod.
I sighed, cursing at myself, and rummaged through my suitcase to find something to wear tonight, trying to keep the images of him away to avoid transforming into a puddle of arousal. And locking the desire center of my brain to make sure it would not interfere with my new dedication. Keep our relationship platonic.
In an attempt to focus on something else, I turned my laptop on and lost myself in my newest designs. Much later, when I noticed the time, I fumbled to save the open file. “Oh no. And now I’ll be late.”
Dahlia and Nick had invited us for a pre-wedding dinner in an hour, so I should hurry. At least, I had left my naughty thoughts where they belonged—far away from here—for an afternoon.
See, I could do this. Be strong. And resist his charms.
I showered and applied my makeup, doing a great job at thinking about anything but the man I had no right to think about.
My mind drifted to the wedding the next day instead.
A new set of jitters swam in my belly. Flowers. Music. Food. Love. I placed a flat palm over my chest, calming my thudding organ, and gave a pep talk to my reflection through the full-length mirror on the bedroom wall. “Things will work out when the timing is right.”
I firmed my back. Confidence slithered through the cracks of my vulnerability, growing roots.
Since I’d questioned it earlier, I was now aware I had to keep the man at arm’s length. Knowing my heart would probably let him slither in.
With a little insight, Nick and Dahlia’s warning was fitting. Maybe they knew me better than I knew myself. Would they agree to be the protectors of my heart from now on? Because I failed at the task.
Great, I was rambling in my own head. And thinking about asking my best friend and her future husband to micro-manage my love life. This was bad.
I bet they sensed Tucker and I would hit it off, and they knew us well enough to guess it could be disastrous if we ended up in bed together. Me the romantic. Him the guarded womanizer. Or ex-womanizer. A love story doomed from the start.
“See, Tuck? That’s what spending too much time with you does to me,” I said out loud. It fucked my mind. And my body. Not fucked. Confused. Confused my mind and my body. “See? It happened again. Why do you have to be so irresistible all the time? And smell so great? And be nice and caring. And freaking hot.”
Dressed in a denim skirt and an off-the-shoulder white top, I climbed behind the wheel of Dahlia’s car. The one she lent me for the next few days since I had traveled here on a bus. I checked my reflection one last time in the rearview mirror and fixed my lipstick before driving to my friend’s place.
Carter and Jack were kicking a soccer ball on the front lawn when I pulled into the driveway.
“Hey guys,” I said as the toddler ran into my wide-open arms when I squatted down.
“Addidi,” he screamed when I lifted him and spun him around.
“Ohmygod, you’re so tall. Did you grow a foot in the last month?” He bobbed his head as I lowered him back to his feet after hugging him. This kid owned a big slice of my heart. Jack Hills topped the list of my favorite human beings in this world. Right next to his mama.
“Hey you,” Carter greeted me as we kissed each other’s cheeks. “Dahlia said to meet her inside as soon as possible. Some maid of honor emergency, I think.” He shrugged and picked up Jack to seat him on his shoulders, maneuvering the ball with his feet. They always looked so happy together. As if they belonged to a world nobody else had access to. Like he and Dahlia did when they were kids.
He kicked the ball in my direction, and I blocked it. From his perch, Jack applauded.
“Guess I should go. See you later, you two,” I said as I made my way inside, adjusting my skirt.
“Hey girlfriend, I’m here. What’s the problem?” I asked as my feet met the plank floor. I scanned the main level. It looked nothing as it did the last time I was here. “Wow, you guys did an amazing job. I’m speechless. This is so beautiful. No doubt why you’re getting married. You make a terrific team. Wow.”
The farmhouse had been turned into a more modern version while maintaining the old dignity. The wooden floors and ceilings were the same but refreshed, and everything else had been changed. The kitchen and the living room had interchanged places. The walls that used to be a silvery shade of gray before were now white, giving a fresh vibe to the place. The old staircase had been sanded and re-stained the same color as the floors. Here and there were black and purple accessories. It looked country-chic, modern, and vintage all at the same time.
One day, I’d like to own a house. Just like this one. Some place warm and cozy. Some place to call home.
Dahlia met me in the kitchen and pushed a wineglass into my hand. I discarded it on the countertop, my stomach churning at the thought of an early drink.
“What’s going on? Carter was being cryptic outside.”
She took a seat beside me at the island.
“The lady who was supposed to come over to do our makeup tomorrow bailed on us. She had to leave town. An emergency. I was thinking, with your mama owning a beauty salon which means being a makeup wizard runs in your veins and your genes, if perhaps you’d agree to replace her. I know I’m asking a lot, and you have plenty of maid of honor and organizer’s duties to deal with, but if you could find some time to do my mama’s, mine, and Mrs. Peterson’s makeup, you’d save my life.”
I pulled Dahlia into a hug as tears filled my eyes. “Nothing would make me happier and prouder, girlfriend. You’ve always been my favorite model. Remember that time at the prom or at that music award show? I’m very flattered you asked.” I leaned back to wipe my glossy eyes.
“Ohmygod, you’re crying. Everything okay?”
I sniffled. “Wedding jitters. You getting married is making me emotional. I’m so happy for you. And Nick. But mostly for ya.” Dahlia brushed my hair with her hand. We stayed in each other’s embrace for a minute. My tears dried, and I straightened my back. “Anyway, I’m sure we can delegate most of my tasks to Tucker. No way will he be sitting around on his ass all afternoon drinking whiskey while we get everything ready. Consider it done. I’ll deal with him.”
Dahlia pulled back.
“Oh, Addi is back. You look good, girlfriend. I’m sorry I haven’t been available lately. This craziness is almost over, and things will go back to normal.” She hugged me a little tighter. “I’ve been yearning to ask. How is it going between you two?”
“Tucker and I?”
“Yes. You seemed to get along just fine in Nashville. Did you guys keep in touch? Did you convince him to take part in that secret project of yours?”
I swallowed before speaking. “Yeah, we’re fine. We messaged a few times. Mostly wedding stuff.” And one half-naked selfie. Two late-night raunchy video chats. One date. A weekend sleepover. A weekend getaway. Hundreds of hours over the phone. Too many text messages. But hey, mostly wedding stuff, right?
“Good. I feared you guys would either hit it off or wouldn’t be able to stand each other. Both of you are much more alike than you think.” A long pause. “How is it going with the I’m-done-with-men thing? Changed your mind already? Who is your mysterious plus-one?”
I let out a heartfelt laugh, my mini meltdown forgotten, and my best friend joined in.
“Fine. You knew I’d never go through with it, even if I think it’d make my life easier and my heart much safer. I had lunch with Felicia, my college experiment, as you called her.” I sighed. “It kinda sealed the deal. I’m not made for this. I love men too much.”
Dahlia snickered. “Promise me you won’t date the first one you meet, okay? You deserve someone great. Someone who will love you and put you first.”
The door yanked open, and laughter reached us, cutting short our conversation. The one with a deep baritone sent my heart into a frenzy, and all my hair stood on end. This was bad. Very bad. I wasn’t ready to see him just yet. And, for some reason, in the last half-hour, I’d convinced myself he would skip being here tonight. Or that his flight had been delayed. Just the idea of Tucker standing feet away from me turned me into a horny time bomb. Having him too close, while I was still debating the right course of action, was dangerous. Multiplied by ten, with our friends surrounding us. His presence destroyed my resolve. And toyed with my stupid hormones.
“Hey Tuck,” Dahlia greeted, rising to her feet to meet him. “How was your flight?”
“Great.”
“Remember my best friend, Addi, your bride and the woman you sang to?” she asked, half-smiling.
“Hey you,” he said, staring at me for far too long. The column of his throat worked. His pupils dilated. His lips parted.
My skin tingled, and my face heated up under his heavy gaze.
Warmth shot through me, and desire welled up between my legs.
I shouldn’t want him. Not if I wanted to stay true to the promise I made to myself to find the right person for me. No more one-night stands. I thought I could do rebound sex, but I was bad at it. My heart sometimes forgot about the no strings attached rules. Because Tucker Philips was the one my entire body longed for. My weakness. The man who should share my bed. And rock my nights.
He inched closer to me, stealing every remnant molecule of oxygen meant for my lungs.
When his lips connected with my cheek, I caught fire. His presence invaded my senses. My hand fisted his shirt, a reflex I hadn’t grown out of, to preserve my balance. Goosebumps blossomed on my arms. My breathing picked up. My heart galloped in my chest.
Oh dear, catastrophe was about to happen. A collision of desires we had leashed in for far too long.
I took a whiff of him, closing my eyes as I savored the clean and manly scent he wore so perfectly. Ocean breeze. And him.
“Miss me, sweetheart?” he asked in a husky voice with an edge that only I could hear.
I nodded. Barely. But enough to see the dangerous twinkle in his eyes. A devilish smile broadened his lips.
Every cell in me throbbed at his proximity.
Nick touched his friend’s shoulder, breaking the spell. “Whiskey or beer?"
I resumed my breathing. If we weren’t careful enough, we’d get caught. And now wasn’t the time to stress our friends with our antics.
Tucker cleared his throat, finding his composure back and stepping away from me. “Beer. For now. Anything for you, Addison?” he asked holding my eyes, articulating each syllable of my name in a way that made my legs weak.
Was my face all flushed? And my armpits drenched? I hooked a finger into the collar of my shirt and motioned it back and forth, bringing much-needed air to my combusting self.
“Water’s fine. Thanks.”
Tucker walked past me and whispered, so once again only I could hear him, “Am I making you all hot and bothered, sweetheart?"
I met his eyes for a flash second and looked away. “No,” I murmured through clenched teeth. The game was on. I could imagine how we’d implode together. And yet, I was unable to stop the imminent clash.
He let out a low chuckle. “We’ll see.” He winked, then followed Nick. There. I almost lost the fight in me at that instant. Our connection had intensified since the playoff game two weeks ago. The stakes had gotten higher. And Tucker had transformed into an addiction whose sole mission was to ravage me. Mind, body, and soul.
Hours later, the five of us sat around the table, now that Jack was in bed. “To family,” Dahlia said, her wineglass in hand. “You, my friends, are our family. We love each of you so much. Thanks for being here with us. It means more than you’ll ever know.”
The cook they hired for tonight brought us some fancy salad after we clinked our glasses. I was about to bring my fork to my mouth when warm fingers slithered their way to my pulsing center, sliding my panties to the side and gliding into the depths of me. I yelped and shut my eyes for a second, trying to act casual.
The sparks spiraling through me were foreign. And intoxicating. As if I was being touched this way for the first time.
A truckload of sensations, each more pleasurable than the others, washed through me. It took all I had to not roll my hips, chasing the friction between my legs.
“Are you okay?” my best friend asked, worry swimming in her hypnotic green eyes.
“Yes,” I said, my voice stuck in my throat. I downed my water, trying to cool myself off. Beside me, Tucker pinched his lips, acting as if his fingers weren’t buried inside me, playing me like a love song. The heel of his hand brushed my clit, and my blood turned to lava. Shudders infiltrated my entire body as it came alive under his expert caresses. Yeah, I had no self-control when he was involved. I chewed on a piece of lettuce longer than needed, unable to focus on the conversation going on around the table.
“Addi, you gotta settle this debate. What do you think?” Nick asked, his fork suspended mid-air, waiting for me to answer a question that I had no clue about. I blinked. Under the table, Tucker applied more pressure to my throbbing bundle of nerves. I clenched my thighs, trying hard to not squirm on the chair and moan at the top of my lungs.
“I think you’re right."
Nick’s fork fell to his plate, and he went “Ah, ah.” I had no idea what I had just agreed to. Who cared? My body tensed. No way would I come right here at the table surrounded by my closest friends.
Tucker spread my wetness over my folds, teasing me, my body too sensitive to be fiddled with.
Pleasure blinded me while it pulsed through me, and I punched the table while all eyes drifted to me.
“You sure you okay?” Dahlia asked. “Your face is all red.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Something’s stuck in here,” I said, massaging my throat.
She rose to her feet. “Let me get you more water.”
A throaty “thanks” bubbled out.
The cook came to the table and asked Nick something, who stood to follow him.
As if pulled by a magnet, my head turned toward Tucker. His eyes gleamed. And he had a victory smirk hanging from his lips. The one I was dying to feed on. My cheek rubbed his sleeve. Did I transform into a pathetic aching puppy? Heavy lids and teeth biting into my tongue, I hid my face in the crook of his arm, angling my body to increase the friction between us.
“You guys are so bad,” Carter stated, finishing his plate, acting as if nothing was happening three feet from him. “You could at least be subtle about it. It’s written all over your faces you’re sleeping together. Just a question, though. Where are your fingers, Tuck?"
I clenched my jaw as a first wave of pleasure hit me, strangling Tucker’s hand between my thighs. A deep-throated groan whistled out of me.
Tucker kissed the tip of my nose.
I swallowed and blinked.
“Please, Cart. Don’t say a word. They don’t have to know.” I gasped, my eyelids fluttering, wondering how long I could last without detonating.
My voice sounded so unlike mine.
Dahlia entered the room, and Tucker and I broke apart.
My chest heaved. I kept my gaze down, trying to even my shallow breathing.
She put a glass of water before me, and Carter rose before she could sit back.
“Dah, can I talk to you for a minute?” She nodded. “In private. I think Nick should come too.”
She turned her head to face us. “Sorry, guys, it won’t be long. Meet me in the den, Cart, I’ll get him."
Carter fixed us for a long second and whispered, leaning forward, “You have three minutes to finish what you’re doing.”
Now boiling with need, I pivoted on my chair until I faced Tucker again. He curled a hand around my nape and kissed me as if it’d be the last time, his fingers diving in and out of me at a dizzying pace. The orgasm built inside me, and in no time, I liquified around his expert touch. He removed his hand, and with his thumb coated in my arousal, he skimmed the length of my lower lip. The taste of me on his digit turned me on in a way no words could express. With the tip of my tongue, I licked his fingers clean while he watched me.
“Good girl. God, you’re hot. I’ve missed you, sweetheart.”
We fixated on each other for a long moment. Tension coiled around us, ribbons of pleasure tying us together.
After a beat, I found my voice. “Tuck, we’re not supposed to. We said after the wedding, remember? Friendship and sex are blurring the lines."
“Fuck the wait. You want it as much as I do. I paid penance. I can’t wait to have a taste of you later. It’s all I’ve been thinking about. Taking you on this table. On the island in the kitchen. By the front door.” He brought my hand over his erection, his dick twitching under my touch while I massaged it. “See? I’m not waiting another night.”
“What about your words?” I asked, breathless, falling under his charm. “Our deal?”
The more he stared at me like this, with hunger and lust, the more I drifted toward him, unable to resist the pull.
“Let’s talk about it later,” he said as footsteps neared us, and we moved apart as if nothing had happened. I kept my head low, knowing my face was flushed, and excused myself from the table the moment everyone sat, needing a minute—or many—to regain my composure and leash my hormones back under control. And to cool off.
My body still pulsated, desperate for more.
In the bathroom, I splashed cold water over my face, doing my best to not ruin my makeup. I shook my hands, trying to infuse myself with words of wisdom.
Control yourself, Addi. You can do it. Just for a few hours. Remember what you decided earlier? Resist. Be strong. You can do this. He’ll understand.
The door opened when my hand wrapped around the knob, and Tucker slid his tall self into the opening.
I startled back. “What are you doing here?” I asked in a whisper, my heart rate picking up at his closeness. My fragile composure slipping.
“Dahlia is wondering if you’re all right.” He shrugged. “I offered to come to get you.” He flipped me around and nestled his hard length between my ass cheeks, grinding his hips against my backside. I whimpered, clutching the counter with both hands to prevent my knees from buckling. His palms ventured underneath my shirt and dragged upward until he cupped both breasts, my nipples stiff enough they could drill holes through his flesh. His lips traced the length of my neck. Okay, I was melting right here. On my best friend’s bathroom floor. “Fuck, Wilde. I’ve missed ya.”
I shook my head, unable to open my eyes, the sensations rushing through me and threatening my balance.
“No, Tuck. You can’t miss me. The only thing you’re allowed to miss is our friendship. Not my body.”
I inhaled through my mouth, calming myself, and spun around between his arms now caging me. I tilted my head back to lock eyes with him, his warm breath sweeping my cheek. With one hand sprayed on his broad chest, I kept him at a safe distance.
“Wilde, this weekend will be torture if I’m not granted permission to touch you. To fuck you with my tongue. My cock. My fingers. Told ya, you’re all I think about. All. The. Time. Help a guy out. We deserve our playtime. We’ve been reasonable long enough.”
I shook my head. “Listen, we gotta stop now. We’ll get caught. For the rest of tonight and the weekend, we better stay away from each other.”
He blinked. “Is that what you want?” he asked, a perplexed frown wrinkling the contour of his eyes.
My throat closed. No. Yes. For my heart’s safety.
I hung my head and looked away. “It’s for the best. Being selfish and jeopardizing the wedding isn’t smart.”
He tried to meet my fleeting gaze. “Wait? You serious? This makes no sense. I missed you. I thought we agreed to spend this weekend together. When did you change your mind? Why didn’t you tell me last night when we talked?”
Because it’s all new. I realized I could easily fall for you. And it scares me because I know you won’t reciprocate my feelings if it happens, and I’m being honest about how I feel. And our friendship is sacred to me, and no way will I spoil it. I’ve had too many failed relationships in the past.
I wiped my watery eyes with my hands. Why was I crying all the time? Dahlia’s wedding was happening at the worst time.
Tucker’s voice softened as he held my upper arms, leveling his eyes with mine.
“Hey, why are you sad? What’s going on?” He pushed my hair away from my face, and I stared at a spot behind him. “Addison, talk to me. Last time we discussed it, you said you couldn’t wait for the weekend to arrive and have me all to you. You even made dirty promises.”
Worry billowed in his eyes. Why did he have to be so damn handsome? And so caring? It wasn’t fair. My dream man was a Mustang. One who could never be tamed.
I shrugged. “Nothing. Wedding jitters. This thing is making me all emotional. I love weddings. Always have. True love. Soulmates. They mean something to me. Something I aspire for. Someday.” His knuckles brushed my cheek, but I jerked away from his touch. “Don’t worry. I’m fine. Imminent period. Girls’ stuff.” I sniffed. “I’m okay. Now let’s go back before our friends start wondering what we’re doing.”
He dropped his head and blew out a breath.
“Fine. You win. We’ll do as you say. You’d tell me if something was bothering you, right?” he asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his dark trousers.
“Yup. Everything’s great. Better than great. Our best friends are about to get married. Yay,” I said, pumping my fist. Tucker studied me for a long, fat minute, trying to read me. Or that’s what it seemed like. I fixed a smile on my face, straightened my back, and exited the bathroom without another glance in his direction.
“How long are you in town, Tuck?” Carter asked when we were all seated in the den, the guys—except him—now sipping on whiskey, and Dahlia and I drinking tea instead.
“Two weeks maybe. Not sure yet.”
My heart pounded at Tucker’s words, and I couldn’t even explain the reason.
“You never told me you accepted my offer,” Nick chimed in with a frown.
“It will be fun to have you around for a little while. Where are you staying?” Dahlia asked next.
“For all I know, your old house. Nick offered it to me when he came to visit."
Dahlia winced.
“Is there something wrong?” he asked.
My best friend’s gaze ping-ponged between us.
“Well, Addi has moved in for the weekend.” She turned to face her almost-husband. “Babe, you didn’t tell me you had promised it to Tucker.”
Tucker’s eyes moved to me for half a second before drawing back to Nick.
“You can stay here while Addi is in town. It’s only for a few nights, anyway. Then you decide if you wanna move there instead. The offer to stay in town for a couple of weeks still stands. Your choice.” Nick shrugged.
“Nah, I can’t stay here. You guys need your space. You’re getting married tomorrow. So, a hotel it is. No worries. I’ll find a decent place in town.”
“You could stay at Cart’s,” Dahlia suggested. With her mug nestled in her hands, her copper hair cascading freely over her shoulders, and her legs tucked under her, she looked relaxed about her next day nuptials. The opposite of how I felt.
Carter shrugged. “Sure. There are plenty of rooms if you’re looking for a place to crash. I don’t offer room service, but other than that, it’s rent-free.”
Tucker shook his head. “No way. Jack is going home with you, and you’re all entitled to your privacy. I’m just an outsider here. The hotel is fine. And I’ll decide what to do after a few nights."
“Or you could stay with me,” I offered, not bothering to look at him, busy nipping at my fingernails. “There’s enough room for the both of us. And like Nick said, I’m just in town for three days, anyway. Soon you’ll have the entire place to yourself.”
Nick’s voice broke the awkward silence, and he scratched his temple. “Guys, I’m sorry we both offered you the house without talking about it first.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re shacking up together, big guy.”
“You sure?” His glance asked much more than his words.
“Yep.” I looked away, but his stare burned the side of my head.
Carter snickered behind his hand and fake-coughed when my laser-beam eyes landed on him, ready to turn him into a roasted chicken.
My heavy stare pinned him on the spot, and he reeled his laughter in.
On my feet, I hugged my best friend. “I love you. I should go. Tomorrow is the big day. You should get some rest.”
Tucker joined me. “Sweetheart, let me walk you to your car. It’s my unofficial job as the best man to make sure the maid of honor is always safe and sound and accounted for.”
I rolled my eyes, pretending to be annoyed, when little fireworks exploded inside me instead. Tucker had a way of making me feel special. No wonder women fell at his feet all the time. He and I never got into details about his past sexcapades. And I didn’t want to know all the specifics, anyway. No, thanks, I’ll pass. Still, I could recognize his power of seduction.
My eyes took him in, and I enjoyed the sight. The attraction searing between us didn’t only come from Tucker’s model-face or football-star physique. Nor from his panty-melting grin or the way he undressed me with his eyes. It was a mix of everything combined with his huge heart and sense of humor. And the caring and sweet side of his that he hid from most people. Altogether, it was a deadly combination.
If he was after my heart, I’d offer him the entire organ without second-guessing myself. Because that was how I was wired. Love and love hard. Trust and trust harder.
No, Addi, a voice in my head warned me. Stop doing that. Take your time. Don’t fall in love so quickly. Make sure whoever you entrust your heart to is the right person. Please, no more broken hearts.
“Come on, Wilde. Let me do this.” His words had more meaning than anyone else could understand.
I sighed and shut my eyes for a second. “Fine. But I’m pretty sure walking to my car isn’t a hazard. Even if it’s late."
Dahlia and Nick hugged us, teasing about how if we spent too much time together, we’d drive each other nuts, as Carter joined us, a sleepy Jack tucked in his arms.
“I’m ready, big guy. Show me the way,” I said, pulling Tucker’s hand. The warmth of his palm in mine propelled shivers down to my knees, then to my toes. My body woke up. Tingles moved along my vertebras.
Next to my car, he leaned in until his forehead rested on mine.
“Wilde, I can keep you company tonight. Just hold you. We’re getting good at this cuddling thing. Or help you relax with whichever part of my body pleases you. All you have to do is say yes. I’ve missed you so damn much. Two weeks without seeing you is boring as hell. My bed is empty without you in it.”
My heart flipped around in my chest at the sound of his breathing and closeness. He spoke the words I was dying to hear, but in another context.
Taking my courage in my hands, I motioned a no with my head. In contrary to the lust screaming from inside, begging him to take care of all my needs. “We better not. I shouldn’t have let you touch me earlier. It was a mistake. I fucked up all the signals.”
“Which signals? I want you; you want me. Don’t complicate things.”
I lifted a hand between us and rested it over his heart, relishing the strong rhythm underneath my palm. My fingers toyed with the fabric of his dress shirt as I avoided looking at him.
“This thing between us is getting out of hand. We gotta stop before it’s too late. Hooking up will affect our friendship. How could it not? And I’m not risking it. Being your friend is all I can give ya. Or everything we are will shatter. You know I speak the truth. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve got very attached to you. And very attracted to you. And I miss you like crazy when we’re apart. You’ve starred in all my dreams too. Refusing you, us, is super hard right now.”
And all I want is to protect my heart. Same as you do. Because knowing we would be together this weekend made me feel something I never thought I’d feel again. But bigger and rawer. It’s precious to me. Being your friend is getting harder than I thought. Because no way are you supposed to be obsessed with your friends. Wishing you could see them every day of the week. Or sharing every insignificant detail of your life with them. Even the things that don’t matter. Because their smiles are enough to make everything better. And bring you to a place where you’re at peace.
“I’m that bad looking, huh?” Tucker teased me, breaking the trance I was falling into.
I shook my head, a small smile peeking out. “I wish.” A lone tear escaped, and he used the pad of his finger to wipe it off. His lips, soft and delicate, erased the last trace of moisture, and right there, I almost forgot all about my stupid decision to stay away and nearly kissed him. My voice trembled as I spoke, “I’m so sorry. I know we had a plan. And I was really looking forward to it. But I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep the ‘no strings attached’ from my end. You’re not looking for a relationship, and I am. Well, not now, but eventually. I’m done settling for less than I deserve. It’s best if we keep our distance so my heart can get tougher. It must harden up. Together, we’re explosive, and if we’re not careful, it’ll all blow up in our faces.”
He cleared his throat. “You have no idea what I want, sweetheart. You never asked.”
“I don’t have to. You’ve said your piece from the start. It’s on me. I’m the one unable to follow the rules now. I thought I could, but I was fooling myself. It’s over. Let’s not make this weekend weirder than it has to be.”
As if I’d poked him, Tucker jumped back, hurt flashing in his dark irises. “Fine. Message received. See you tomorrow, Wilde. I’ll book a room at the hotel after all. Call me if you require help with the wedding plans.” Without another word or glance in my direction, he stepped back, with his shoulders rolled forward and his hands deep in his pockets.
I swallowed the rock-hard lump sitting in my throat, slid behind the wheel, and drove away, feeling as if I’d broken something that didn’t even exist.