The next day, we lingered in bed for hours after we woke up at ten and survived on sex and snacks, entangled in sheets. Addison lay by my side, still naked, our legs intertwined, her head propped over my pec, and her vibrant blue eyes fixed on me. She nibbled on her thumbnail, a confirmed sign I’d learned over the last month that something was bothering her. I stayed silent, waiting for her to sort her thoughts.
“What are we going to do?” She blinked and refocused on me, as if trying to read my mind. “If we’re having a baby? I live in Atlanta, and you’re in Chicago. I can’t ask you to move across the country, and I’m not sure I’m made for the chilly northern winters. How would we even co-parent? How would it work? Like flying up and down the country every week with a newborn? That makes no sense. This is the worst-case scenario. How could a night we both can’t remember lead to this? Perhaps it’s a false alarm. Oh gosh and now I’m rambling. I’m Addison Wilde. I don’t ramble. See, these hormones are already affecting my brain. And my sanity. I can’t live like this for another eight months.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Held it for a second or two and let it out.
When her gaze roved back in my direction, I captured it.
“No need to make all those decisions before we take another test. Or get a doctor’s appointment. But yes, I would move across the country to be with you.” I pushed myself to a sitting position and lifted Addison with me, keeping her against my chest, my stare trained on her face. “Wilde, over the time we’ve known each other, you’ve become a huge part of my life. Things have been off, almost weird, it’s hard to explain, on my side for a while now. I had been feeling my life was passing me by and had no idea how to fix it. Everything had lost its appeal. All my friends had moved on. I forgot how to be content until you came along. Every time we’re together and you’re beside me, it soothes all my doubts, all my insecurities. I don’t feel lost anymore. And…I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I worship the ground you walk on. Don’t know how to explain the effect you have on me. But whenever we’re together or whenever we talk, it all makes sense. Like I’m finding my true self all over again and that I don’t have to hide behind some perceptions or play a part. That I can be me. Whatever it means. And nobody, not even my best friends, has succeeded in making me want to drop the act. Only you did.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek, and I caught it with the pad of my thumb.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
Addison watched me as if I held the answers she didn’t possess. And my heart waltzed behind my ribs at the sight.
“Marry me.”
She blinked. “What?”
I cupped her cheek and moved forward to catch her lips between mine.
“Let’s get married. You and me. Make it official.”
“But I may not be pregnant, Tuck.”
I framed her face with both hands. “See, I don’t care. I want you. All of you. Now. No matter what the test says. Let’s not get influenced by the result. I love you.”
Addison blinked again. A few times. As if to make sure she was awake and this wasn’t some dream. “And I thought I was the impulsive one?”
A loud chuckle broke free. “I have my moments."
“You’re still in shock about the pregnancy scare. Let’s not rush things, okay?”
“Nick once told me, when you know, you know, when he was talking about Dahlia. And this is the first time I understand what he meant that day. Because what we share is real. And rare. And you’re the only person who can tame my ways, who makes me yearn for more.” My nose skimmed hers. “If you weren’t aware by now, I’m a smart guy. Nothing I do or say is always as spontaneous as it sounds. Most times, I have plans. And rules. Or I used to. Not anymore. You shattered them all. And you freed me of some invisible ties. You stole the best friend title, Wilde. And I don’t see it changing anytime soon. You just get me. You don’t require a manual to understand how I work; it comes naturally to you.”
“Wow. It’s-it’s a big commitment. You’ve become one of my closest friends too.” Her lips searched mine. “Truth is, I’ve talked to you more in the six weeks we’ve known each other than all my friends combined in the last year. And Dahlia and I talk a lot. Seriously, we talk a looootttt.” The ghost of a smile formed on her lips, still pressed against mine, her breathing sending shivers through me. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering this. Am I awake?”
“Yes, I promise you are.”
We kissed before she pulled back.
“Let’s say we were to do this. Would you want a ceremony or to elope?”
I shrugged. “Anything that would make you happy. But since we never do anything like most people, in order or small, I’d vote for Vegas. Us, Nick, and Dahlia. Your parents if you want them there. And we could throw a reception later. For everyone else we didn’t invite. What do you think?”
She nestled closer to me, and we lay back on the mattress, my arms around her. “I love how you think. The best of both worlds. Why am I excited about this?” She huffed, unable to hide the happiness setting in. “Let’s do this. Tomorrow we’ll pick a date.”
In one skilled movement, I grabbed her wrists and flipped her on her back, losing myself in the deep blue sea of her eyes. My cock sprung wood, and while my mouth busied itself kissing the shit out of my fiancée—was that how I should call her now?—I pushed two fingers inside her, relishing the way her back arched and her legs opened to make room for me.
I trailed kisses down her throat, along her collarbones, in the spot under her earlobe. My tongue traced her jawline and found its way down to her perky breasts. I laved one nipple with circular strokes and sucked on it as she cried my name, her breathing fastidious, begging me to continue. With a hand locked behind my head once I released it, she positioned me over her other breast. And her silent plea made me cherish her second nipple the same way.
I lowered myself until I could kiss her belly and traced the seam between her thighs with the tip of my tongue. Her body trembled, and I moved back up, unable to wait another second for my dick to slide home.
Home. That’s how being with this woman made me feel.
In perfect rhythm, we moved together, Addison whimpering each time my length rubbed against her sensitive spot. No doubt her fingernails left marks in my ass cheeks when she changed the angle of her pelvis, deepening our connection.
With hooded lids and rosy lips, she looked fucking fabulous.
“Mine,” I said between slow thrusts, trying to lengthen the pleasure, not ready to be done just yet. “Addison Wilde, you’re mine.” My mouth found hers, our tongues entwining in an erotic number. Something had shifted between us. I could feel it in the way our bodies communicated. In the way we kissed. And the way we touched.
I nuzzled her neck, letting the fruity scent of her imprint on all my senses. Using my elbows to hold my weight, I leaned closer to her, every inch of me dying to touch every inch of hers.
“Oh god, don’t stop what you’re doing,” Addison pleaded, her hips buckling and rolling. She reached for my hand, and we linked our fingers as I increased the pace.
Her other hand curled around my nape, and she dragged me closer. Until I almost crushed her under my weight. “Don’t you dare stop.”
A raw cry released from her luscious lips, and it almost brought me to a point of rupture. I had never felt this way before. And my entire self had a hard time comprehending the shift taking place in me. Without breaking eye contact, I pounded into her until we both went over the edge, undone and satiated.
I had never made love before, but this moment, what we just did, nothing else could define the connection we shared. The way I felt. The bubble we found ourselves floating in. The love enveloping us.
“Want me to get a test now?” I asked as Addison and I snuggled in bed later that afternoon. Except to grab food and use the bathroom, we hadn’t left the bed all day.
She shook her head. “Nah. I still haven’t got my Tucker fix. Don’t go right now. Stay with me a little longer.”
“I love Jamie for a girl,” I said. “And Lucas for a boy.”
She turned between my arms to kiss me. “Baby names? Really?"
“Why not?”
“Because we know nothing yet.”
“Just a thought. I’m restless. My brain is thinking, analyzing.”
“I can relate. Many unanswered questions. If we’re doing this, then I agree with Jamie for a girl. And I love Jamieson for a boy. Anyway, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m not even late yet.”
“Doesn’t matter. I want everything with you."
“Hold me tight, big guy. I gotta catch up on some sleep.”
And with the only woman my heart had ever beaten for against my chest, I concluded that no one night stand could equal the peace I experienced in that instant. The warmth swirling in me. With a cocky grin, I buried my face in the mass of her hair and dozed off in no time.
I woke up to an empty bed. One quick perusal of the room confirmed Addison wasn’t here. The sun shone low on the horizon, pink and orange brush strokes decorating the sky. I put a pair of boxer briefs on and made my way downstairs.
My feet refused to move forward when I entered the kitchen, the vision in front of me stealing my breath away. Dressed only in lacy panties, Addison’s hips swayed to the rhythm of a country song while she busied herself prepping something. Her hair was piled at the top of her head—the way I liked—and her left shoulder bore love marks. Her skin, lightly tanned, glowed in the low light. Every delicious curve of her body, the ones I’d memorized by heart and could recognize in the dark, tempted me.
Seconds later, I had her back to my front, my arms around her waist, and my chin propped on her shoulder. “Is this what married life with you will be like? You cooking topless. Because if it is, we’re flying to Vegas tonight, ditching any other plans we may have.”
She spun to face me, her round breasts pressing into my bare chest while my hands descended to her ass, molding to its flesh. She yelped, and I swallowed it as my mouth feasted on hers.
“You still wanna go through with this insane idea?” she asked, leaning back to catch her breath.
“Yeah. Don’t you?”
She shrugged. “I do, but it’s big. And hurried. How do we know we’re ready?”
I took a step back to study her face. “How did I become the one looking for a commitment and you, the one having doubts?"
She tucked loose strands of hair away from her eyes. “Marriage is sacred to me, Tuck. It’s important. It means something. And in my mind, you don’t do it twice. Unless your husband dies one night and leaves you pregnant and alone. Then you’re allowed a do-over. I already told ya I’ve been burned in the past. A baby, a wedding, don’t you think it’s too much, too soon?” Moisture welled in her eyes. “See, again I’m an emotional ticking bomb. When will this stop?” She hid her face in her palms, her shoulders heaving.
The sight broke me, and I fastened my arms around her. Where she belonged.
“Don’t cry. I don’t know what to do when you do. It fucks with my heart. It breaks me.” While the silent tears etched her cheeks, I held to her tighter. “I know it’s a lot to process, but we won’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay? If you’re pregnant, it’s important to me that our baby has a family. A strong foundation. I told you about my parents. When I’m in, Wilde, I’m all in. I never do things halfway. You can’t just have parts of me. Only the whole package deal.”
“Thank you. For being understanding. And supportive. I promise I’m not always a weepy mess. And I love your package.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know, babe. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. And my package loves you too."
“It doesn’t show right now,” she pointed to her tear-stricken face, “but I’m happy and grateful that if we’re having a baby, you’re its daddy.”
We finished prepping dinner together, the remnants of our last conversation permeating the air around us.
“Tomorrow we’ll go to the doctor,” I said after a long stretch of silence.
Addison nodded, her eyes still red, and a thankful, tight-lipped smile drawn on her lips. She was now dressed in one of my T-shirts, the one I gave her when she visited me in Chicago a month ago, bringing my undivided attention to her long legs.
Later, tucked under a blanket, we watched a movie, her head resting on my lap while I twirled the strands of her hair around my fingers.
“Thank you,” she said, “for not thinking I’m a nutcase.”
“I’m actually a big fan of your brand of craziness. Just so you know.”
She poked her tongue at me and chuckled, and it eased the tension that had been surrounding us for hours.
That sound. I could listen to her laughter on repeat. Forever.
When I caught my breath, I dug out my courage. “Addison Wilde, would you be my girlfriend? I know it sounds juvenile, but I’ve never said those words to anyone before.”
She nodded and moved to her knees, straddling me, her arms loose around my neck. “I’d love to be.” She grinned. “I really do. I check yes. And for what it’s worth, being your first is kinda exciting.” She smirked. “You know you proposed before we officially started dating, right?”
I mirrored the tilt of her lips. “It’s us. Get used to it.”
The next morning, I woke up first. Little by little, I shifted my body gently away from Addison’s arms, my heart heavy at the idea of leaving the bed, and got dressed in the dark. All my clothes were still at the hotel, so I did a walk of shame in the suit I wore for Dahlia and Nick’s wedding two days prior. Real nice. On my tiptoes, I exited the bedroom and made my way downstairs.
Forty minutes later, I was back with breakfast, all my stuff, and two pregnancy tests, plus an appointment with a doctor Nick recommended for later that day. The lady at the drugstore gave me detailed instructions for the tests to make sure we would do it right this time after I asked her over a dozen questions.
The house was silent when I entered through the kitchen door.
In the hallway upstairs, I undressed, ready to slip under the covers again and take a nap with my body molded to Addison’s until she woke up.
In the bedroom doorway, I stopped in my tracks. My eyes took her in, hair disheveled, shoulders dropped forward, sitting on the side of the mattress.
“Hey, you’re awake. I had this plan to come back to bed for an hour or two. With you.” I traipsed closer. “How are you feeling?” I studied her features closely. “What’s going on?” I sat beside her and draped an arm around her shoulders.
The scent of her shampoo filled my nostrils. And I didn’t find it as overwhelming as the day we met. In all honesty, I missed it every time we were apart.
“Tuck, I’m not pregnant.”
“What do you mean, you’re not pregnant?”
She dried her teary eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie she’d put on. “False alarm. My period started. I’ve been right all along.”
“You sure?” I winced. “Sorry. Stupid question. Are you okay?”
She nodded. “It’s for the best. We’re not even a couple, and we’re not ready for this. Baby, married life. It’s better this way.”
I swallowed, avoiding her eyes. Why were her words sounding like a death sentence right now?
Did she mean it? Sure, I had no clue what it meant to be in a steady relationship, to be a husband or a dad, but when my thoughts drifted to Addison, I always figured we could do this. Together.
“You must be relieved?” she asked, her head buried in my chest as my fingers combed her hair.
“No.” My tone sounded harsher than I meant it to be.
“Well, I am.”
I tried to argue, but the words got stuck in my throat. Were emotions making her say those things? Didn’t she hear a word I said yesterday? I remained silent, unsure of how to approach the new turn of events. The temperature of the bedroom seared. The gears of my brain worked overtime, about to catch fire. A chill crossed my back. Before I could overreact or panic, I kissed her temple, untangled myself from her grip, and jumped to my feet.
“Gimme a minute, would ya?” I said, locking myself in the en-suite bathroom.
I ran a hand over my hair. Splashed water over my face. Paced the room.
As if someone had turned off the lights of my heart, I slumped on the bathtub rim, curving my back and resting my elbows on my knees.
The lining of my throat itched. My heart tumbled down my chest. My stomach felt as if it’d been filled with lead.
After a while, a soft knock on the door brought me out of my daze.
“Tuck, are you all right? You’ve been in there for over thirty minutes. Can we talk?”
I cleared my throat and pushed my emotions down. “Yeah. Coming.”
I met her on the other side of the door and wound my arms around her frame.
“Don’t be mad, okay? I changed my plans,” Addison said, her voice trembling and her eyes low.
My heart pumped ice instead of warm blood.
“What do you mean, you changed your plans?” I asked, my fingers digging into her hipbones, fearing she’d vanish if I didn’t hold on to her. All I yearned for was her warmth. Her love. And her affection. Anything she could give me.
“My bus is leaving at the end of the afternoon.”
I jerked away and ran both hands through my hair. This was a mistake. A freaking joke. Did I hear her right? Was this entire weekend even real, or was my imagination playing tricks on me?
“Pause for a sec. You’re leaving? Yesterday we were making wedding plans and believing we might have a baby together, and now you’re ditching me? What about us? How do you see our relationship evolving? Are we doing long distance for a while? Do you expect me to move soon? Tell me what’s the plan now because you lost me. I’m confused. Whatever we choose, I’ll do my best to be available and make you a priority. But if you go now, I have no idea when we’ll be able to see each other again. Or have this conversation. It’s not something I wanna discuss over the phone. We’ve barely spent enough time together this weekend. After everything that went down on the last day, I’m not ready to let you walk away. Now that our friends know about us, we don’t have to hide anymore."
Addison’s fingernails traced lines over my shirt, avoiding my eyes. I frowned, unable to look away.
Was she kidding right now?
My heart cracked and crashed on the floor.
I scratched my temple, trying to make sense of her rejection.
Yesterday seemed like a lifetime away.
“Can we talk about it?” I pleaded.
“Yes. The last thing I want is to break your heart.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
She reached for my hand. “Let’s have breakfast. I’ll explain."