“Are you gonna sit and eat with me?” Tucker asked, stepping closer. “We’ve been living together for over two months, and you barely ever make it to the table, always perched on the countertop or eating while you walk around.” He kissed my cheek. “Were you always this restless growing up?”
I spoke through a mouthful. “Pretty much. Now that the tiredness from the first trimester is something of the past, I’ve got all my energy back. And more in bank. Sitting is a waste of my time. I’d much prefer to do anything else. Want me to redecorate your place?”
“What’s wrong with the decor?”
“Nothing. I’m just looking for a new project to tackle.”
“Wilde, you work full time for that marketing firm, work over twenty hours on your own business, and find time to housesit Dupont’s place. And you’re pregnant.”
I rolled my eyes. “Stop being dramatic.”
“I’m serious. Don’t you think you’re already burning the candle at both ends, and sooner or later it will bite you in the ass?”
“I just possess all this pent-up energy. Meditation helps, and I don’t want to start running around the block or going to the gym. Not my style. I prefer keeping myself busy."
“Fine. But if I think you’re overdoing it, we’ll reopen this conversation.”
Placing my empty bowl on the counter next to me, I jumped off.
Tucker eyed me. “Where are you going?”
A piece of me loved the caring version of him. It spoke to my heart whenever he worried or got all protective of me in the sweetest way.
“Hilary, from next door, invited me to her book club meeting."
“When did you find time to read a book?”
“Saw the movie. And Dah told me about the missing parts, so I’ll be fine. I can pretend and talk my way through it. Don’t worry about me. I don’t have girlfriends here because all your hockey player friends are single and never in town, and you still haven’t introduced me to Pam.”
“Forget it. I won’t. She’s the devil. Don’t want her around my child.”
“But it’s not even born yet.”
“Still. Not up for discussion.” His hands found my waist, and he pulled me to him. “Will you join me for that barbecue on Saturday? It’s an off-work event. A family gathering, so you’ll meet people."
“Sure, I’m free. I have a yoga class in the morning, but other than that, my schedule is empty.”
A frown etched into Tucker’s forehead. “Yoga? Since when?”
“Last week. Trying to be zen. For the baby’s sake.” I searched his face. “Since you’re not moving out of town, are you going back to the office, or are you continuing with the remote work?”
“For now, remote is perfect. I even decreased my hours because I have that other project on the side.”
I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, but he didn’t relent.
“Nope. Not telling you. Not until it’s ready. Forget it.”
I sighed.
“Anyway, until we decide what we’ll do with us, the baby, and where we’ll move to, I prefer dealing with my schedule on my own terms.” He crossed his arms over his chest with this decision.
Tucker and I looked like a couple. We acted like a couple. We bantered like a couple. But we were just friends for now. Anyway, that was our official title to describe our relationship. We slept in the same bed at night. And we cuddled, but we were taking things slowly.
“And I have to pick up after you,” he said with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe how sloppy you get. Exhausted Addison had an excuse to be lazy. Energetic Addison doesn’t have any.”
“Life is already stressful, so don’t add another layer. I’ll do the dishes later. When I return. Nothing says it can’t be done in a few hours. There’s no rush. It will get done when I am in the right state of mind. Don’t worry.”
“I hate when the place isn’t clean. Cleanness eases my mind.”
“Coming from the guy who orders his ties by color, I understand the frustration. Let go, big guy. It’s good for you to learn to relax.”
His lips connected with mine. “That’s not how I relax.” His hard body pressed against mine. Air charged around us. All my cells vibrated at the promise in his voice. “Got other ways. You sure you wanna go to a boring book club meeting?”
I nodded and spoke against his mouth. “Mm-hmm. It will be fun."
He took a step back and raised his hands. “Fun?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Suit yourself then. I’ll go back to my dinner.”
My body froze at the withdrawal. What Tucker and I shared couldn’t be explained. But it was real. More real than anything I ever had before.
As if he sensed the broken connection too, Tucker spun me around, his front to my back. With a skillful gesture, he billowed my shirt around my waist and yanked my panties down. The sound of his zipper being drawn down awoke flutters in me. I shivered when his burning dick traced my lower back and embedded itself between my ass cheeks, and he thrust up and down.
“I changed my mind. Dinner can wait. You sure you wanna go?” he asked in a husky tone that sent all my hair standing on end, his lips sucking the flesh between my shoulder blades.
“Yes.”
His fingers gentled on my belly and lowered between my legs. The mere pressure on my clit was enough to send my head spinning.
“You want me to fuck you, Wilde? To brand myself on you so you remember me all night?”
I bobbed my head, weird sounds escaping my mouth as he increased the pace of his fondling.
“Please.”
Pushing me forward with a hand until my upper body rested on the countertop, Tucker asked in my ear, his voice pure lust that electrified my cells, “You want me inside you?”
“Yes,” I croaked out, my voice not sounding like mine.
With purpose, his fingers spread the lips of my sex apart.
“You’re so wet.”
He inserted himself inside me to the brim with no hesitation until a soft yelp broke the silence of our combined, rushed breathing.
His hands gripped my hipbones, and I disconnected from the present. My world had narrowed down to the flesh pounding into me and the waves of pleasure surfing in me.
Tucker rammed hard. The sound of his flesh against mine increased the arousal dripping from me.
I pushed the countertop with my hands, trying to keep my body from dissolving underneath his. With one hand around my shoulder, Tucker increased the contact, his thrusts harder and faster.
“Want me to punish you for going to that stupid club?”
“Do it,” I screamed. “Fuck me like you hate me.”
Gliding out of me and lifting me in his arms, he spread me on my back on the kitchen table. The cold surface sent chills through me, but I enjoyed the contrast under my heated skin, Tucker burning hot as he resumed his pounding inside me.
The taut expression on his face reminded me of the guy who fucked me for hours in my hotel suite back in Nashville that first weekend.
Animalistic. Unapologetic.
The pad of his thumb rubbed circles over my clit.
I detonated against him, but he never reduced his pace. He pummeled into me with more conviction, never giving me time to surf the climax that worked through me.
“Want more, Wilde? Want me to fuck you so you’re late and all flustered and everyone knows I got my way with you?”
I nodded.
He leaned over me, locked my hands over my head, and his gaze turned darker. Growls exited his throat. He attacked my mouth with bruising kisses. My tongue darted out to battle with his. I bit his lips. He nipped my tongue. I hollered as more pleasure traveled through me.
“You’re lucky you’re pregnant, or I would have spread you on your front.”
A twinkle passed through his eyes. Directed at me.
He stepped back, and moving to his knees, he assaulted the flesh he’d just speared into with his tongue. His licks weren’t gentle. They were meant to rob me of my common sense, of everything in that moment that wasn’t him.
My ankles linked behind his neck, and I squeezed his head there, forcing him to continue his ravishing of my center.
He pushed a digit in, and a second orgasm hit me. I let go of his head. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he resumed his standing position. He entered me, and chasing his own release, he drove in me ruthlessly.
His body went rigid, and I sensed him coming inside me. A split second later, he slid out, and his palm pumped his cock a few times. With his free hand, he pushed my top up just in time to shoot his load in the valley between my breasts. The warmth of his semen soaked my bra and heated my skin.
Tucker watched me, panting, a satisfied smirk grazing his lips.
“Mine,” he muttered before leaving me there, barely able to land back from the rush.
He returned a minute later and washed my chest with a warm cloth. His lips and tongue traced my skin, licking where his cum had just been erased off me.
“Have fun tonight,” he said with a wink.
I tried to pull his mouth to mine, still hungry for him, but he moved away. Tease.
The realization I was almost ten minutes late hit me. Hurrying to my feet, still dizzy and living in a world far from here, I put my panties back on, trying to smooth my wrinkled clothes with my fingers the best I could.
Tucker was right earlier. I’d be flushed all night. And I would never be able to conceal the pleasure circulating in my veins from anybody. When I caught my reflection, I enjoyed the image presented to me. I looked high on sex. High on love. And that sent a discharge of euphoria to my heart. For once in my life, could I be on the right path?
“Hey Wilde,” Tucker called out before I could leave. I spun to face him as he walked up to me, his expression relaxed but serious, and his lips drawn upward. “I was thinking. Would you marry me? I haven’t asked you yet this week.”
His cockiness made him so attractive. His confidence. That smirk. He played with my reasoning. Even more after what we just did.
I mirrored his smile.
“Let’s not rush it. We’re not there yet.” I winked. Because that was what he’d do if the roles were reversed.
Every week, or two, Tucker Philips asked me to marry him. It started as a game, but the more time we spent together, the less a game it had become. And we both knew it. Every time I gave him the same answer, to which he assured me, “One day, you’ll say yes. Because we both know I’ll call you Mrs. Philips before our baby gets here.”
“Perhaps I wanna call you Mr. Wilde.”
“Fair enough. I’ll take your name anytime, sweetheart.”
He dropped a kiss on my lips, and I made my exit.
“Come back to me.”
His words bore more weight than anyone could ever tell. But I knew better.
“Always. I’m yours. You made sure of it, and you’re stuck with me for a long time, big guy.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way."
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pushing an arm inside the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water, forcing Tucker to step to the right. He was cursing, his back tense, looking agitated. “Anything I can do to help? You’ve been cleaning this fridge for the last hour.”
He spun away from me. Anger radiated from him.
In the three months we’d been living together, I recognized that cleaning-obsessed Tucker usually had something on his mind.
“Hey, talk to me. What happened?” I rested my hand on the middle of his back, but he yanked away from my touch.
“Nothing,” he finally said in a harsh tone.
“Liar. I call bullshit.”
He turned around, and specks of hurt swam in his eyes.
I grabbed his hands in mine. “Talk to me.” He averted his eyes. One of my palms shot up to caress his cheek. “Be honest with me. Truth, remember?” A surge of annoyance washed through me at the sight of him.
“It’s you,” he said, not meeting my gaze for a long second.
“Me?” I asked, pointing to my chest. “Why?”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking unsure for the first time. “We’ve been living together for a while. And I still don’t know where we stand. I’m not a guy who likes labels and always thought I didn’t. But with you, it’s different. Call me alpha or whatever, I don’t care. But I wanna stake a claim on you. I wanna be able to tell people we’re together. That you’re mine. A third guy from work asked me earlier when I went in for a meeting if you and I were still friends,” he said, quoting the word with his fingers. “Presenting you as my friend at that barbecue that day was wrong. They all think we’re just roommates having a baby together. Like it’s no big deal. Collin asked if I could give him your contact info. The guy wanted to ask you out. Who’s bold enough to—never mind.”
“Tuck, you should’ve told me. We gotta talk about this.”
“You keep saying you’re not ready for a relationship, yet we spend all our time together. We have sex almost every day. We sleep in each other’s arms, but as soon as we’re outside the bedroom, we’re more like roommates. And it doesn’t sit well with me anymore. I thought it would. Because everything you said when you moved in made sense. But maybe it’s because I’ve never been in a relationship before, but—forget it.”
“No,” I almost screamed. “We’ll talk about it. I understand. And I agree. That’s why we shouldn’t have added sex to the equation. It complicates everything. But we’ll find our way. I swear. Gimme a little more time, okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped all this on you. Not now. You’re trying to meditate and stay put for more than five minutes, and I’ve added stress to your day. Not my intention.”
He gave me a tiny lopsided smile.
“Anything I can do right now to make it better?” I offered.
“Yes.” His hands locked around my waist. I stared at the ripple of his Adam’s apple, the lust shining in his irises, the darkness of his gaze. And I almost lost it right there. To put all the voices in my head to rest and give myself to him, heart, body, and soul, without restraint. “Turn that meditation music down. It drives me nuts. That bowl thing you hit with that wooden wand, I hate it.”
Okay, that’s not what I thought he had in mind.
“And stop shuffling around the contents of the fridge. Please make an effort to put stuff back where they’re meant to be.”
I let out a loud chuckle. “Where’s the fun in that? Rotation is better. You get to see the food in the back that you otherwise forget about.”
Tucker shook his head. “No. Not convincing enough.”
“Please,” I begged, joining my hands under my chin.
“Sorry. The answer is still no. You’re, without a doubt, the messiest person I know."
“But it’s a part of my charm, right?”
His arms wound around me. “I guess.”
“If it annoys you too much, I’m sure Rory will take me back into his pool house.”
“Not a chance. You’re mine. Whether you know it or not. Now come here.” He pulled me to him, the beating of his heart strong against mine, his chin resting on the top of my head, and my round belly caged between us.
We stayed in each other’s embrace for a while.
“Sorry if I’m too much sometimes.”
“Nah. I love how you turn my life upside down. It’s refreshing. Occasionally, it’s hard for me to adapt, but I will. Except for Nick, back in college, never before have I lived with another human being. But unlike you, he cleans after himself.”
I punched his chest, and his arms tightened around me as we shared a laugh.
“You really hate my singing bowl?”
“Hate it.”
“Fine, I won’t use it anymore when you’re around.”
“Oh, and another thing I hate.”
I tilted my head back to look at him.
“When you put on clothes to do your yoga. If you were my girlfriend, or my wife, I’d want you to do that downward facing dog pose naked.”
“Good thing I’m not your girlfriend then.”
Tucker’s loud chuckle resonated through the condo. “Yep. You get a free pass.”
We stayed like this for a bit longer, just enjoying the comfort we brought each other.
“Wilde, will you marry me?”
“Let’s not rush it. We’re not there yet. Let’s enjoy the time together.”
“One day, you’ll say yes. Because we both know we can’t escape our destiny and you’ll walk down the aisle before our baby gets here.” His lips grazed my forehead. “I’m not taking no for an answer, so I’ll ask you again later.”
“And I hope you will.” I paused. Just to make sure I wasn’t mistaken. No, this was it. Now I was sure. Because it happened a few times in the last two days. “Tuck,” I said, putting some distance between us. “I agree I’m untidy. That I can be hard to keep up with. And that the meditation music sucks. But still, I have a surprise for you.”
“You do? You didn’t need to. All that I care for is in this room right now.”
“Believe me, big guy, you’ll thank me for this one.” With my fingers laced through his, I led him to the bedroom.
“A new kinky trick? Or a head? I’m down for both,” he teased. “I changed my mind. If it’s your lips servicing me, bring on that surprise.”
Peeling my shirt up over my breasts, I lay on my side and beckoned him with my finger. “Get over here.” When he positioned himself behind me, I placed his open hand on my stomach, glancing at him over my shoulder. “It moved. I felt it. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but no. If we’re lucky, it’ll do it again.”
Tucker blinked, his eyes filling with a layer of moisture. “Are you serious?” I nodded, and positioning me on my back, he leaned forward, his mouth inches away from my stomach. “Hey baby, it’s me. Daddy. Your mommy said you’re moving. If you could do this once more, it would make me so happy.”
We spent the next hour in bed, waiting for our little peanut to flutter in my belly. And it did. Just a tiny, barely perceptible movement under Tucker’s palm.
“Was that—?” he asked, his voice congested with emotions.
“Yes.”
“Wilde, we created this. Together.”
His mouth fused with mine. And every word our hearts bore mixed into that kiss. Our tongues found solace with each other. Our hearts beat to the same melody. Yes, our baby was in there, growing every day, turning us into a family even when we still hadn’t figured out our own definition of it.
His hand massaged my sensitive breast, and a purr left my mouth at the contact of his flesh on mine.
“I’m so gone for you,” he said, breaking our kiss to gulp some fresh air, then his mouth returned to mine. Before I realized it, we were both naked, hungry for each other. Both his palms cupped my face. “This was amazing.”
I agreed, my eyes clouding.
My fist curled around his manhood, working him, my thumb rubbing the moist tip and relishing the jerk of his hips at the movement.
“Wilde, I don’t wanna play. I just wanna be buried deep inside you. And feel you around me.”
Hovering over me, our hands linked together, Tucker stationed himself between my thighs and pushed inside. I gasped at the contact, loving the way he filled me and electrified my core.
He halted there, watching me, his smoldering gaze turning me into molten clay underneath him.
And this time, Tucker and I connected on a new level. And that was the moment I knew that whatever I did, I was his, and he was mine. No matter how hard I was trying to fight this, our bond was stronger than anything we could define with words.
The three words were on the tip of my tongue.
Before I could utter them, he rocked his hips, pushing deeper, and I lost all sense of gravity.
Tucker pumped inside me, and my legs wrapped around him, keeping his body as close to mine as possible, the friction driving me insane. My arms looped around his neck, tugging him closer, and I wished my mouth could translate the words I couldn’t speak yet but felt for him. The ones I couldn’t escape or hide from anymore.
I kissed him with all the passion in my heart.
We were branding each other.
He pistoned into me with abandonment.
And I joined him thrust for thrust.
His hands brushed my hair away from my face, his eyes lancing into mine, with promises to never let me go. To love me with everything he was. To cherish me for eternity.
Sobs clogged my throat.
It was beautiful, life-shattering, wonderful, and scary all at once.
My knuckles skimmed the side of his face, and I tipped my head back, hoping he could read me. Down to my soul. That he could understand I was ready to give myself to him. Entirely. That I wanted to be his. And to love him. And let myself go as long as he was there to catch me on the other side.
We moved together in a slow tango, our mouths never breaking apart.
His lips devoured mine. And I treasured his.
We had become this unstoppable force.
Our movements turned more frantic, both of us chasing our release.
Tucker pounded into me faster. Hard enough that he had to hold me so I wouldn’t fly upward. He anchored me to him. My legs fastened around his waist, and my fingernails dug into the skin of his nape.
My whimpers mixed with his groans.
Both of us could detonate any moment.
His hands molded to the back of my head, making sure our mouths wouldn’t separate. I felt our kiss in each of my cells.
“Wilde, I’ll—”
“Come,” I said. “I’ll—let go."
His body stiffened. Scorching heat spiraled inside me. He rolled his hips faster. His tongue swept mine with shorter strokes.
His teeth pulled on my bottom lip while I cried out my climax, my head tilting back and vision blurring.
“Tuck, I’m—”
He pressed a finger against my sensitive lips. “I know, sweetheart. Not tonight. Let’s just enjoy this moment.”
As if he hadn’t kissed me in years, his mouth returned to mine, possessive and demanding. I lost myself in the comfort of him. In his love.
Without a word, once he softened inside me, Tucker led me to his glass-paneled shower. Neither of us said anything. As if words could burst the bubble of bliss we found ourselves in.
A serene expression painted his face, but the gleam in his eyes broadcasted how much happiness waltzed inside him. And it mirrored mine.
He took his time to wash each curve of my body and to lave me with his tongue, imprinting himself on me. Spinning me until I faced the wall, my hands on either side of my head, his digits ventured between my legs, sliding back and forth in lazy strokes, building pleasure deep in my core. I could barely stay upright, my legs wobbly and knees weak.
From behind, Tucker held me up with one arm around my waist, his torso pressing against my back, the firm wall holding me still.
I turned my head, searching for his lips. We collapsed together. Deeper than ever before. A series of moans escaped me, the echo bouncing against the wall of the shower. The hot stream enveloped us. His fingers played me.
It stole every breath from me.
My pulse raced.
Adoration filled my chest.
Pushing my forehead against the wall to help with my balance, I grabbed his throbbing length from behind, but he pushed my hand away.
We needed no words to understand each other.
Tucker pressed his head between my shoulder blades, hastening the gliding of his fingers inside me.
I couldn’t breathe. Or think. Or process anything else other than his body taking mine hostage.
His thumb rubbed against my clit.
My eyes closed, unable to decipher all the sensations invading me.
Unable to fuck me with his fingers the way he wanted to, Tucker squeezed himself between the wall and me and kissed the length of me until he sat on the floor. Clutching my ass cheeks, he maneuvered me until I sat on his face, his mouth sucking on my clit. One hand returned between my legs, his fingers resuming their actions inside me. My body shook with tremors. It was too much. And too little. Too hard. And too soft. Too fast. And too slow. I lowered myself until there was no space between us. The friction sent black dots dancing in my vision. I was riding his face, about to collapse at any moment. He replaced his fingers with his tongue, but after a few strokes, I wiggled, wanting more. His digits went back inside me.
With my hands pushing against the shower wall, I let go, unable to resist any longer.
I had no time to come back from the rush when he moved back to his feet, standing behind me. I heard him work himself, but I was too dazzled by the orgasm that tore through me to do anything about it.
Without a warning, Tucker entered me in one push and emptied himself with a jerk of his hips. The contact and fullness of him surprised me, his erection pressing exactly where I longed for him. I gasped, and he released a guttural, animalistic sound that drove me over the edge for a second time.
My phone went off, and I accepted the call, unable to hide my happiness at the face lighting my screen.
“Hey girlfriend,” I greeted Dahlia.
“How are you? Is Tucker taking good care of you?”
“Yes. Always,” I said with a clear laugh.
“He better.” She sighed. “I’m sorry it took me two hours to call you back. Jack was having a tantrum. And Nick is away for two days. Some construction project in Nashville. He went to check on his guys to make sure they were on schedule. Jack is reacting to him not being home. It’s like, except for Cart, Jack and I have been on our own for so long, and now that Nick is a fully in our lives, my baby can’t get enough of him. Their bond is strong, and it’s all I ever wished for. It’s beautiful. I know Jack is missing him right now, but instead of using words, he has decided to go evil on me.”
“Sorry, Dah. I know it’s a lot.”
“And he’s started to call Nick daddy. Not sure how Carter will react to this one.”
“Oh,” I exclaimed.
“Yep. Oh,” she echoed. “He’ll be in town in a few days, so we’ll see. Jack will stay with him three days a week for a full month.”
“I think it’s cool. How the three of you make it work. My nephew is the luckiest kid.”
“We do our best.” She sighed. “Anyway, it’s all good now. He’s drawing a picture for me, so I’m all yours.”
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I breathed some courage deep inside me. “Did you…well…hmm…did you have any body insecurities while you were pregnant with him? It’s just... I’m not usually shy about my body and everything, but I’ve gained so much weight that I can’t see my toes anymore. And this pregnancy is far from over.”
I swallowed, not sure if I should open up about what had been eating me up lately but needed another mother’s opinion.
“I did at the beginning. People asking me my age when they crossed my path. Like it was illegal to be pregnant at twenty. Like I did something wrong. But after Jeff died, in my grief, I could barely eat, and I started losing weight. The doctor worried. I had to get additional checkups to make sure I was healthy and the baby wasn’t suffering from my lack of appetite. But what I learned is that it’s all temporary. You bounce back. The truth is, you’ll never be exactly the same, but you’ll be amazed at what your body can go through. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“It’s difficult to look at myself. Today, I had two ladies asking me if I was pregnant with twins. And yesterday, someone in the grocery line congratulated me for the triplets. Twins run in my family. Do you think they could have missed a baby at the sonogram?” My sarcastic laugh turned into sadness. And I used my fingertips to dry my cheeks. “I’m sorry for breaking down. My emotions are a tangled web.”
“Hey, it’s okay to have doubts. And to need time to accept all those changes. We never know how pregnancy will affect us, mind and body, so it’s a day-to-day acceptation. I’m here when you question everything, okay? Or when you’re not sure you’ll be able to go through with it. Because it’s happening now, and it will happen again after the baby is born."
“Thanks,” I croaked out, my voice weak, sobs now rocking through me.
A loud bang resonated on the other end of the line. “Oh no, Jack just broke something. Baby, don’t move.” Her attention returned to me. “Can I call you back? I’m sorry. The timing is all wrong today.”
I sniffled. “Yeah, sure. Go take care of it.”
“I love you, girlfriend. I’ll call you later. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
Sitting on my bed, cross-legged, I caressed my belly, lost in my head.
“This is all new to me,” I said to my unborn child. “I’m happy you’ll be tall and strong like your daddy. It’s just hard on me right now. But none of it is your fault. It’s I who is having a hard time getting accustomed to my body. I just wanted to be honest in case you hear me panicking or if I’m sad and you can’t comprehend what’s going on with me.”
The tears resumed in my eyes as I caught my reflection in the full-length mirror next to the door. All my insecurities bubbled up to the surface.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Tucker asked when he entered the room sometime later.
I tried to hide my meltdown. In vain. I couldn’t fake it around him.
He sat next to me and draped an arm around my shoulders. “What happened to you? You missed me too much?” he asked in a teasing tone. “You knew I was at the gym downstairs. You could’ve come to join me. I would’ve loved the vision of you in spandex.”
“Do you think I’m too fat and I should go to the gym?”
Tucker’s eyes snapped in my direction. “What? Why? How? Wilde, what is this all about?”
“It’s this,” I said, pointing to my stomach. “And what people have said... And how I look when I glance at myself in a mirror... It’s just... Forget it. It’s silly.”
“It’s not silly. If it was, you wouldn’t be crying about it. Talk to me."
“My emotions are ruling my life nowadays. When I was a little girl, my daddy—”
Right there, I almost confided about my father’s struggles, but for some reason, I feared it would affect the way Tucker perceived me, so I changed the subject.
“I don’t fit in my clothes. And this belly is ginormous. Today, it all seems like a big deal.” The little bent of his lips sent warmth through my bloodstream. “Don’t look at me like that,” I said, backhanding his chest.
“Like how? Like I’m in love with you? Or I wanna eat you up. Yeah, you’re right, it’s so wrong.” His arms pulled me to him. “I’m here, Wilde. When you need a pep talk. Or a hug, come to me. Always. Okay?”
I bobbed my head, and he dried my teary cheeks. “Yes."
“Come on, let’s take a walk. Clear your mind. Fresh air will do you good. It’s Saturday, and there’s a craft expo not too far. You love those. Gimme time to shower first, and I’ll come with you.”
I hugged him close to me. “Thank you.” My lips met his. My heart flipped in my ribcage. Tucker Philips was the one for me. I just have to fetch in me the courage to be honest about my feelings once and for all.
We strolled around town, and the sunlight bettered my mood. Sitting on a small eatery deck, we ordered lunch. The waitress flirted with Tucker. A wink here, a touch on his shoulder there. It grated on my nerves. Every time he addressed her, she fake-laughed like he said something funny. He ignored her for the most part and only offered polite smiles, yet she was relentless, complimenting him on anything and everything. From his eyes to his food choice.
In the past, I would have sucked my date’s tongue for everyone to witness or sharpened my claws and staked my claim. This pregnant version of me, moody and lacking confidence, felt insecure instead. Throwing my napkin across the table, I stood and hurried away, pushing the server as I stalked toward the exit. I heard Tucker say something and seconds later, he had cornered me on the sidewalk.
“Wilde, stop.”
“Don’t Wilde me,” I said, through gritted teeth.
“Hey, hey, hey. Come here,” he said, enveloping me in his arms. “It’s okay. I’m with you. No one else. She is not even a blip on my radar.”
I jerked away from his touch, requiring some space to breathe. “Your old self would have gotten her naked within the hour. You would’ve fucked her.”
His lack of immediate answer confirmed my apprehensions.
“See? You can’t even deny it.”
He grabbed my hand. “I’m not that guy anymore. That version of me was hiding from his feelings. He didn’t thrive. Or love. It was just a front. This version right here, with you, does all these things.”
I shook my head. “She acted like I didn’t exist. How can I be invisible when I am this big? It is rude. Hitting on some other woman’s date. Can’t believe she flirted with you in front of me. I’m pregnant, for God’s sake. With your child.”
“You’re not invisible. Not to me. And it has nothing to do with your pregnancy. I saw how she scrutinized you when we took our seats before she even laid eyes on me. She was rude because she was jealous of you. That much was evident.”
He kissed my lips, and I relaxed in his embrace.
“Where’s the Addison Wilde who would have given the woman a run for her money? That Addison is fearless and can kick some asses."
“I’m still here. Somewhere. Buried behind Mini-Tucker.” His lips drew into the smile that was intended only for me. One that tipped my heart. “Fine, I should get her back. You’re right; she’s a badass. Thanks for reminding me I’m not lost.”
“I prefer you feisty. Come on. Let’s enjoy the rest of our day.”
“I’ll be back in two hours tops,” Tucker said the next day, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “Do you think we’ll know the sex of the baby?”
“At this stage, we’re supposed to. Do you wanna know?” I twisted my fingers and winced. “See, I’m not sure I do."
“You don’t?”
“Nah. I love the mystery,” I said.
Tucker huffed. “I want it to be a surprise too. Like it’s been since the beginning.”
“That’s what I had in mind. Glad we agree.”
His arms held me against him. “I love it when we think alike. Can we still look at the monitor, or will it be too obvious?” he asked.
“Pretty sure we’ll be safe. It’s all black and white and blurry lines. Except for the head, arms and legs, I’m not a pro sonogram reader. Neither are you. Unless you have special powers I wasn’t aware of.”
“All me, babe. Except for being able to extract multiple orgasms from you, I possess no other superpower. The appointment is at three thirty. I’ll be home by three. Wait for me here. I’ll pick you up, and we’ll go for a celebratory dinner after.”
“What are we celebrating?”
He shrugged. “Us. This,” he pointed to my belly, “all of it.”
“Awesome. Be on time, big guy.”
“Always.”
He left, a grin spreading on his handsome face, his pupils brighter than usual. Flutters invaded me. Yes, having Tucker in my life made more sense every single day. He fitted into a slot in my heart as if he was born to rest there. And I reveled in sharing my days—and my life—with him more than I ever thought I would.
“Where is he?” I asked out loud, talking to my baby, pacing the kitchen floor. Tucker was never late. It was three-fifteen, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I called his phone, his office, both went without answer. I texted him a dozen times. Nothing. I bit the tip of my thumb, unable to stay still. One breath in. I refused to go into panic mode and imagine the worst. One breath out. Did he say we’d meet at the doctor’s office, or was he supposed to drive me? No, he said he’d come to get me. Where was he?
Three-twenty.
Voicemail. And no answer to my five additional text messages.
I hauled my pregnant self into a cab, unable to wait any longer for the man sharing my life.
Around five, I left the doctor’s waiting room where I’d been camping for the last hour, praying Tucker would show up. With a hand splayed over my baby belly, as if that could protect it from whatever else was going on in my life, I walked back home, using the exercise to quiet the voices in my head. Jitters now assaulted my stomach. I still hadn’t heard from Tucker. His office phone line was still busy. And his phone went straight to voicemail each time I called. Dread spread through me.
Back at the condo, I removed my makeup and changed into pajama pants and one of Tucker’s shirts that fit my new form much better than my clothes and called my best friend.
Silent tears slid down my face. Maybe it was my hormonal state, but Tucker being missing really got to me. And I imagined all the worst scenarios in my head.
“Hey Addi, how are you doing? How was the sonogram? Did you get a picture?”
My lips quivered. Tremors shook my hands. “Dah, he’s missing.”
“Girlfriend, who’s missing?”
“Tuck. We had a baby appointment. He was super excited about it. He’d been talking about it for days. This morning, he said he’d pick me up and never did. He had everything planned for tonight. I called his office, his phone, sent texts, all the things that a perfectly clingy girlfriend would do, and I still haven’t heard from him. It was five hours ago. The guy is punctual. Dedicated. It’s not like him. I’m sorry I’m dumping all my shit on you. Again. I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Do you think Nick can help me? I’m helpless here. This city is too big for me to search for him by myself, and I have no clue where to start. What if something happened? At what point do I call hospitals? Or the police? My baby’s father is MIA.”
“Slow down. Breathe. Let me get Nick. We’ll find him. He’ll show up.”
Her husband joined the conversation, and I explained everything that had happened since Tucker left earlier today.
“Let me get back to you,” he said. “I won’t make you run around town, alone and pregnant. I’ll make a few calls and get back to you.”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Thanks. Do you think he’s okay?”
“Yes. Usually, when Tucker goes missing, it’s because he needs time to think.”
“Oh-okay.”
We hung up, and I continued my pacing of the condo, halting in front of the giant window I liked so much and wishing the door would open and Tucker would walk back in. Back into my arms.
My heart knotted in my chest, unable to keep a steady rhythm as its other half was nowhere to be found.
My phone rang twice. An unknown number. Holding my breath, I picked up.
“Hello?”