Marj had no idea if she had done the right thing visiting Hartley.
Perhaps it was her breast-cancer scare that had made her realize her girls’ happiness meant so much to her.
At least Hartley knew the truth now.
Then there was Max.
During her stay with the girls, Marj knew something was wrong. Max wasn’t her normal carefree self. Marj couldn’t remember ever seeing her daughter so down.
The other night on the phone she had tried once more to speak to Max about the guy she had briefly mentioned, the one who was clearly the cause of her sadness.
‘What’s up, Maxy?’
‘Nothing.’
‘There’s something.’
‘OK, something. Just that guy I liked.’
‘Didn’t he like you back?’
‘He does, but it’s too complicated to be with him.’
‘He’s not married?’
‘No, no.’
‘Engaged?’
‘No.’
‘Because engaged isn’t married, Max. A girl in my yoga class fell for someone when she was engaged, so she left her fiancé for him and is blissfully happy now.’
‘You liked him?’
Marj heard her daughter’s voice catch in her throat as she desperately tried not to cry when she said, ‘I think I loved him.’
Marj had wanted to take her sobbing daughter in her arms. She seemed suddenly so young and vulnerable. After a few moments, she heard her daughter the actress, the selfless young woman who didn’t want her mother to worry. ‘Thanks, Mum. Don’t worry. You know me, I’ll be fine.’
Marj could imagine her daughter using every ounce of willpower to paint on that funny smile she’d always worn to reassure her. She didn’t want to push Max. She was sure her daughter knew she would always be there for her, and took comfort from that.
The conversation had played on Marj’s mind, though, and she called Lucy soon after.
‘Lucy, is Max OK?’
‘Sure. Why’d you ask?’
‘She’s terribly down, not like her at all.’
Max down? There must be some mistake. She was fine. For once it was Lucy who was all over the place, splitting up with Hartley, splashed over the papers.
‘She is cut up about a boy.’
Lucy laughed. As if. Her little sister down about a guy? ‘Mum, this is Max. She breaks the hearts – not the other way round.’
‘Not this time.’
There was something in her mother’s tone that made Lucy stop. She put down her work notebook. She had been absent-mindedly chatting to Marj while jotting down questions to ask Alexander McQueen about his summer designs, after Carlos arranged a last-minute meeting with him later that week. It was a huge coup for the magazine, as he wasn’t doing any other interviews, and testament to Carlos’s reputation in the industry.
‘Mum, I know everything about Max’s life. We live together. She tells me everything, you know that.’
It was true, Max and Lucy had no secrets. That had always been their way.
‘She said there was someone she liked and wanted to be with, but she couldn’t be – the situation was too tricky?’
Lucy was taken aback. She didn’t have a clue. There was whiffy Phil and that PR guy she’d regretted, but no one else. Except Luke.
But that hadn’t been anything; nothing had happened. What was it Max had said? She had agreed there were plenty of people to have a crush on other than Lucy’s brother.
Lucy tried hard to remember how the conversation had come up. It was just after the photographer in Scotland. Lucy hadn’t been herself. She remembered being very angry with Max for suggesting she liked her brother. ‘Luce, I’m in love.’ That’s what she’d said. And that Luke was wonderful.
‘Not Luke?’ Lucy asked her mother as the thought formed in her head.
‘I don’t know, Lucy, but she’s devastated it couldn’t work out… You don’t mean your brother Luke?’
‘Yes.’
Lucy waited for her mother to laugh at how ridiculous the very thought of Luke and Max was.
‘A handsome boy,’ Marj said, almost to herself. She had seen hundreds of photos of Luke and Ben over the years. She had invited them to stay in Broughty Ferry but their mother had told them that would happen over her dead body. Such a shame. They were Lucy’s family; they should be part of her life in Scotland. ‘And you always say how wonderful he is.’
‘He is. But he’s my brother.’
‘He’s not Max’s brother.’
Lucy raised a palm to the ceiling in protest. ‘Mum, you can’t be serious.’
‘Why not?’
‘What happens when it all goes wrong and Max decides he holds his fork the wrong way or buttons his shirts too high and dumps him? It’s just all too close, Mum.’
‘I don’t know what happens if, Lucy, not when, that happens.’
‘It becomes as awkward as hell, Mum. Luke gets hurt and I feel awful every time I see him. Neither of us knows what to say and our relationship suffers. He’s my brother. You understand.’
Marj was quiet for a few seconds before replying, her voice calm and considered. ‘And do you think, given the value your sister places on family, she would risk dating him if she didn’t really think there was a chance?’
Lucy’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t thought of it like that.
‘She’s devastated, Lucy.’
‘Really?’ The question came out as a squeak with Lucy’s voice catching in her throat. Had she really been so consumed with her own problems she’d missed how Max felt?
‘She’s not incapable of finding love, Lucy. She wants it as badly as you or I or anyone.’
Lucy felt her cheeks flush. She was overcome by guilt. Of course Max wanted love. Lucy had only ever wanted her sister to be happy and find a great guy. That’s what Luke was. Max had ditched men because they weren’t right – what was wrong for holding out for someone who was? And what if Luke was that person? Marj was right; Max wouldn’t risk dating Luke if she didn’t really like him. God, it had probably taken guts for her even to admit she liked him and Lucy had been so vile, caught up in Hartley and Scotland. Some big sister.
‘Mum, I told her to stay away. I gave her no choice in the matter.’
‘Lucy, you are always there for Max – don’t beat yourself up. That’s probably why she put your feelings before her own happiness. You’ve had quite a time of it – she knows that.’
‘But Mum, I must have been totally wrapped up in myself… I didn’t even realize she was down.’
‘Lucy, Max has been trying to protect you. You know Max – the best actress in the world when she has to be.’
Marj imagined her daughter’s face at the end of the line, those blue eyes full of remorse.
‘Listen, Lady Macbeth was wrong: what’s done can be undone. Talk to Max.’
‘She’s just gone to New York.’
‘When she gets back, then.’
Lucy had a better plan. She would speak to Luke.