The empty car park was a bad omen. Kevin walked past the rusty gates of Gorgebank High, carrying second thoughts. He could still walk away and no one would ever know. No one would care. Who would go to a school reunion in the Facebook era? And a five-year reunion? It was too soon.

The hall still looked the same. The stench of the toilets nearby lingered in the air and revived Kevin’s memory. There was nothing on the stage except a stereo coughing up some old music.

There were six large round tables surrounded by plastic green chairs. There was only one table with people at it. Kevin sat by himself, at the table furthest away from them.

Andrew waved at him. ‘Come over, man.’

Kevin recognised that screechy voice and ignored it.

After ten minutes, Andrew and the others came over to him. Andrew was wearing his crinkled suit. It reeked like sour pasta sauce. He hadn’t washed it since the Year Twelve formal. ‘How’s it going, Kevin Earnshaw?’

Kevin concentrated on the large banner stretched across the stage, under the faded green curtains. Gorgebank High Class cif 2007. His mind raced down the list of better things to do on a Saturday night. An old man staggered in from the side door. He stood out the front of the stage, his face blending in with the cracked walls.

‘Welcome to the reunion,’ he mumbled. ‘You may not know me. My name is Mr Tomly, I’m currently the Year Twelve advisor. None of your old teachers could make it.’

Kevin wished he were that smart.

Mr Tomly rubbed his hands. ‘I’m sure more students will turn up. I’ll go check on the sausage rolls ... Help yourself to some cordial.’ He shuffled back through the side door.

Andrew laid down his business cards like he was playing solitaire. He flicked one over to Kevin. ‘If you want to claim compo, I’m your man.’

Kevin picked it up. ‘You a lawyer?’

‘I will be.’

Kevin looked closer at the card. Andrew Carf!Y, 2”d year Law student. He pretended to stuff the card in his pocket, but dropped it under the table.

The girl beside Andrew smiled. ‘Hi, I’m Millie.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Kevin remembered her at their graduation day. She had lip-synced to the song

‘Hero’. And it was still painful. Most girls Kevin knew from school had stacked on the kilos. Millie was an ugly duckling transformed into a slightly better duck. ‘So, you and Andrew are together?’

‘Nah, I’ve got a missus.’ Andrew took out his wallet and showed them a photo. ‘She gets her visa to come here next month.’

Millie went over to the drinks table and grabbed a jug of cordial and four plastic cups. She returned to the table, her face animated as she mimed to the song on the stereo. ‘So what do you do, Kevin?’

Kevin shrugged. ‘Urn, stuff’

‘Oh, okay.’

The other guy snatched his drink. It spilled all over his shiny tracksuit. ‘You remember me?’

Kevin looked at Andrew and Millie. They shook their heads.

‘It’s Phillip Bray.’

‘Don’t know, man,’ Kevin said. ‘I must have blocked it out.’

‘Nah, it’s all right.’ He crushed his cup on his forehead.

Millie smiled. ‘Well, I’m part of a girl band. It’s called Desire.’

Andrew laughed until Millie’s glare shut him up.

‘We came fifth in the Gorgebank RSL talent quest.’

It was Phillip’s turn. ‘Urn, I’m between opportuni ties. I’m taking care of my uncle. He got discharged from the army for being too fat. He got stuck in the tank’s hatch.’

‘I remember that,’ Andrew said. ‘He made the newspaper and everything.’

Kevin felt sick when everyone looked at him. Even the music stopped.

Millie played with her pigtails. ‘Come on, Kevin, what do you really do?’

Her voice echoed in the hollow hall. Kevin’s neck was sticky. They meant nothing to him, but he couldn’t tell them the truth. Kevin thought about his stack of DVDs at home. He was in the middle of watching a reality series about celebrity funerals. He slouched in his seat. ‘I’m a mortician.’

Kevin could hear their brains grinding. Why didn’t he just copy Phillip?

Millie nodded. ‘Sounds exciting.’

‘Yeah it’s, urn, cool.’ Kevin gulped his watered down cordial.

Mr Tomly crept in with a plate of sausage rolls.

‘Ah, still no one else?’ He placed the plate on the food table next to the drinks. ‘Help yourselves ...’

Nobody moved. Mr Tomly sighed. He brought the tray of sausage rolls to their table.

Millie scrunched up her nose. ‘I’m vegetarian.’

‘I have some dim sims,’ Mr Tomly said. ‘They’re just thawing in the microwave.’

‘It’s okay, I’m not hungry.’ Millie poured some more cordial. She filled Kevin’s cup, too.

Mr Tomly walked over to the stereo. ‘Could have sworn I put in fresh batteries.’ He shook it around.

Kevin bit into a lukewarm sausage roll. It tasted like cardboard and ice. Still, he was happy. This bunch of nobodies gobbled up his lie. He was better than them, even though he was a slacker. He couldn’t wait to go home and write about it in his blog.

There was a loud thud. Everybody turned to see Mr Tomly lying awkwardly on the floor. Andrew rushed up and touched Mr Tomly’s neck. ‘Ohmigod. He’s dead.’ He put his hands on his head.

Millie shrieked. ‘We gotta call the police!’

‘If you call the cops, I wasn’t here, okay?’ Phillip said. ‘I didn’t even graduate here. I dropped out in Year Ten.’

Andrew picked up the battery from the dead man’s hand. The tip was wet with spit. ‘He must have licked it.’

Kevin studied Mr Tomly’s face. He looked so peaceful. ‘Let’s just go.’

No one said anything for a while. Then Phillip stuffed the sausage rolls into his pockets. Millie tidied up the cups and cordial. Andrew and Kevin shut the doors and windows. Phillip found a cloth and wiped the tables and chairs down. Kevin switched off the lights. Any sign of life disappeared when they left the room.

Are you on Facebook?’ Andrew dug out his car keys.

‘No,’ Kevin said.

‘Me either.’ Andrew crossed the road to his car.

Phillip lurched away from them down the road, the stereo under his arm. Kevin went the other way. Millie walked beside him, breathing hard and fast. He glanced at her. ‘I’m going to Maccas. Urn, you wanna come?’

Millie nodded.

Kevin was in denial. He wanted to believe that he never ate that sausage roll. That he never met Phillip. That he never flicked Andrew’s business card under the table . . .

Kevin stopped. Millie touched his arm. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, it’s nothing.’

Kevin finished erasing the whole night in his head. But he held onto Millie. Maybe the night wasn’t a total waste.

Millie twirled her hair. ‘Hey Kevin ... about Mr

Tomly?’

‘Yeah?’

‘What kind of make-up would you use on him?’