The evening sea breeze brushed across Kat’s face, refreshing her from the heat of the afternoon. Wes relaxed on the double outdoor daybed next to her. For the first time in weeks, he appeared relaxed, happy, excited, and it warmed her heart more than any Florida sunshine.
Kat leaned into Wes. “The girls want to throw a baby shower for us.”
Wes stiffened by her side. “They’ll wait a couple more weeks, right? Dr. Ryland said—”
“That in a couple weeks we are out of the major danger zone and can start to share. Relax, I feel so much better. We can choose to worry about everything we can’t control, or we can have faith that it will be fine.”
“Faith?” He ran a hand through his hair and let out a long breath. “Helpless is a better term. I feel this need to protect you, but I can’t. Not from this.” He placed his hand on her belly and held it there. It was the first sign he’d made that he’d accepted the baby, and it warmed Kat’s heart. “And the need to protect this little one. This was easier before I met the little guy.”
She cuddled into his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. “But you can’t protect us, not from this, so just enjoy us.”
He pressed his lips to the top of her head, sending a sweet comfort down her neck into her body. Things had changed between them. Sure, they’d always had passion and enjoyed each other’s company, but a new connection had formed, something deeper she couldn’t explain. She covered his hand with hers and could sense his mind racing. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
A flash of lightning chained from the sky to the water in a jagged white pattern, stark against the darkening sky. He rested his chin on her head and rubbed his thumb back and forth on her belly, as if to soothe their unborn child. “I don’t want to burden you with my fears.” His voice came out rough and hollow.
She turned in his arms and faced him, capturing his soft gaze. “I’m stronger than you think, and I promise that you keeping things from me causes more stress than if you lean on me. And honestly, I won’t feel like such a wimp if it isn’t always you taking care of me. I want an equal partnership.”
He grinned, but the lines around his eyes remained tight. “Of course you do.”
Another flash of light splintered through the sky, and thunder clapped in the distance.
“We should go inside,” he said.
But she wasn’t going to allow him to escape so easily. “I grew up here. Trust me, we have time before that shower reaches us. We’ll hear the rain coming, and the door is right there.” She mustered her courage and spoke plainly. They needed everything aired out between them. “I know you didn’t want this baby.” She steadied herself, not wanting to get upset for the sake of the baby but needing to know where they stood as a couple. She’d avoided the truth until she heard the heartbeat and realized this wasn’t about her anymore.
“It’s not that I don’t want the baby.” He rubbed her belly and studied where the little pea-sized baby grew inside her. But then he leaned away from her, his gaze snapping to the ocean, but she guessed it was more so he could get out his words without facing her than to watch the threat approaching. “You know that my mother died giving birth to me.”
Hot adrenaline shot through her. “Yes, but that won’t—”
“You promised to remain calm.” He gave her a sideways warning glance.
She relaxed into the pillows behind her with a nod.
“It’s more than that.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never really told you about my father because he fell apart when I was younger. He never recovered from my mother’s passing, and he never forgave me for taking her from him.”
She wanted to pull him into her arms and make him see that his mother’s death wasn’t his fault and this was different, but the way his gaze narrowed in on the storm showed he had more to share. She covered his hand to encourage him to continue.
“When I was a teenager, he warned me that if I got a girl knocked up, I’d kill her, too. That I was a curse to all women. And even if she survived, I’d resent the child and never connect with it the way a father should. He always told me I was weaker than the mother I’d killed and that I’d never make it in this world. That’s probably why I worked so hard to build an empire and avoided ever having a baby.”
The truth smacked her in the face. All this time she’d thought he wanted his freedom and that’s why he was distant. His fear released her from her guilt, and she wanted to do the same for him. “Wes, I’m so sorry you’ve lived with this your entire life.” She cupped his cheek and forced him to face her. “But I’m not your mother, and you’re not your father. I’m strong, and modern medicine is so much better now. I trust Dr. Ryland, and I have you. We’ll do this together.”
“I hated my father all these years because I didn’t respect a man who fell apart from weakness. I left home at eighteen, faced a war overseas, returned and grew an empire, all while my father wilted away to drink and depression. Now, for the first time, I don’t hate him.” His eyes misted.
Kat forced the rising hormones that threatened tears into submission. He needed her in this moment. “He’s your father. You can hate what he did but still love him.” Her words stung with truth because of her tumultuous relationship with her own parents, but that was a subject for another day.
“It’s worse than that.” Tears broke free and ran down his chiseled jawline. She kissed each of them away.
“What is it, then? Tell me.”
He swallowed and inhaled a stuttered breath. “I understand now because if I lost you, I’d face a darkness I never thought possible in this world, and to know that I caused it…” He sniffled and blinked away more tears. “I’d hurt so much that I’d blame the world the way my father blamed me. Even worse, how could I create a child who could suffer with me as his or her father?”
She threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. “Shh. You’ll make an excellent father.”
He broke in her arms. The man, the rock, the protector, opened up and showed his weakness to her, and she knew this was something he never showed anyone. She rocked him and held him tight as his body shook. Shook from love. Shook from hope. Shook from terror.
Wes crumbled in Kat’s arms like a little boy, and he hated himself for it. He needed to be the one to hold her up, to keep her safe. He managed to regain control of himself and sit up tall. More than anything, he wanted to escape the pitiful look he knew he’d find in Kat’s eyes. He pried her arms free from around his neck but kept his attention on the sky. “We need to go inside.”
“Don’t.” Kat pressed both hands to his face and forced him to look at her, but he didn’t see pity in her eyes. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And in this moment, I know for a fact you are the only man I could ever love. You’re everything to me, and you’re the only man I’d ever want to have a baby with. Together, we can do this. Together we can do anything.”
She sat up and fisted his shirt, yanking him to her. Chest to chest, lips to lips, she kissed him like he’d never been kissed in his life. His skin seared with want and his heart ached to be closer to her, so he forgot himself and pulled her tighter.
Raindrops dribbled from the sky, but it didn’t cool his body. Thunder clapped in the distance, and he didn’t care. Like the rain rolling in to land, his desire rolled over his fear, and he plummeted into the icy waters of acceptance. He wanted Kat, and he wanted this baby.
A boom sounded, and the world shook underneath them. His protective nature won over, and he broke the kiss. They panted in each other’s arms. Rain pelted them. He heaved until he caught his breath again and shook off his foggy thoughts.
Kat shivered, and he shifted into action, picking her up and carrying her inside to the master bathroom, where he set her on her feet. He turned on the bathtub faucet. The clinking of old pipes and the gush of water covered the claps of thunder outside. “You need to get warm.”
“I’m fine. Promise. Go get changed, and we can enjoy an evening together.”
He eyed his watch. “Isn’t the gang due here soon?”
“No, I told them I wanted an evening for just the two of us.”
Her words were like the soothing cream she’d used on his sunburn. “Sounds nice. I’ll be right outside the door if you need anything. Toss your wet clothes out, and I’ll put them into the wash.”
“You spoil me.”
“I enjoy this. Even if I might have turned one of your nightgowns pink.”
“What?”
He toed the floor, droplets splashing to the tile, so he grabbed a towel and mopped it up so Kat wouldn’t slip. “Don’t worry. Won’t happen again. I watched a video on how to do laundry. I’d never done mine before.”
She laughed. “Of course you haven’t.”
He backed from the room and pulled the sliding door to an inch from being closed then went to change.
The storm beat through town, with high winds scraping tree branches to windows and an occasional lawn chair or trash can lid flipped by. After the clothes were in the washing machine, he went to the kitchen to fix some chicken tacos and rice.
Kat entered with her damp hair pulled up, showing her lean, long neck. “Wow, it’s really blowing out there.”
Lightning flashed, thunder boomed, and the lights flickered.
“Smells delicious. I didn’t know that you were such a good cook.”
He set the plates down on the counter, took milk out of the fridge, and poured a glass for each of them. “Wasn’t. More videos. Funny, I didn’t know that cooking could be so relaxing. I enjoy it. Maybe I should open a restaurant in town or something.”
The lights flickered again. “I think it’s a great idea for you to find something to occupy your mind and attention, but opening a restaurant in this town wouldn’t be easy. Cassie put two others out of business already. The woman is ruthless.”
“I’m not sure I’d want to be gone all the time running a business like that anyway. I need something I can do from out of the house if I’m going to be raising a child with you.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’ve been busy looking into grants and funding for people who need it. Did you know there’s a grant somewhere that I read about online that will help cover the costs of all the therapies for a child with severe challenges?”
“That’s good, right?”
Irritation nibbled at his neck. “Yeah, except for the fact that I read in the forum that people are having to pay a thousand or more dollars to have someone fill out the paperwork for them. That’s ridiculous.”
“Sounds like you might have found something you’re passionate about.”
He stirred the chicken in the pot. “Maybe.”
The lights flickered then conked out completely.
“Do you have any lanterns or flashlights?”
“I’ve got something better.” A match struck and sizzled, and then candles at the dining table flickered and torched to life.
“Perfect,” he said. They settled in at the table and ate by candlelight. “Who knew milk and tacos could be so romantic.” He enjoyed the peppery flavor and hoped it wasn’t too much for Kat. Based on the way she ate every bite, he guessed she really was feeling better.
For a few hours, he dared to believe the sun would come out again and everything would be okay. Kat did that for him. She made him believe he could have it all.
Her and the baby.