The next day, Wes left to run a mysterious errand, and Kat decided it was time to face her mother. Dr. Ryland, although reminding her to take it easy, had lifted her bed rest restrictions.
She found her mother in her father’s old home office working on something she was sure had to do with her father’s next big political climb. They were healthy, but Kat didn’t know why they still wanted to work at their age. “Mother?”
Her mother uncharacteristically dropped her pen, and her mouth fell open. She tossed her glasses down and bolted up. “What’s wrong? You need me to call Wes to come home?”
“No. I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?” She rubbed her belly. “I’d like to know some things before my baby comes.”
“Tea in the living room?” Of course her mother would want to have a formal meeting.
“Sure. As long as it’s decaf.”
“Of course.”
Kat went and sat on the couch in the living room with a pillow to support her lower back, which had a dull ache in it.
Mother ordered someone around in the kitchen and then joined her. “Tea will be out shortly.” She sat at the edge of the couch in a ridiculous suit she wore despite being in a house in Florida with no company. “You look well.”
“Thank you. I feel good.” Kat took in a lifelong breath of resentment and charged forward with her unanswered questions. “Why didn’t you want me?”
Her mother’s eyes shot wide, but then she adjusted her suit jacket and said, “I did.” She opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. “I guess I need to tell you some things you obviously don’t remember from your childhood.”
Kat tilted her head as if she could see her meaning better. “What kinds of things?”
“You know your father and I didn’t love each other in the traditional sense. We met in college, and our families thought we’d be a good match. I never questioned it. I knew I wanted to succeed in life and so did your father, so it all seemed to be the right thing to do. We’d planned on two children and a happy life together, but when you were two years old…” Her voice faded away, as did her gaze.
Kat scooted toward her. For the first time in her life, she felt an opening to connect with her mother beyond designer handbags and social event planning.
Her mother lifted her chin high and blinked past what Kat thought must be tears, but she couldn’t comprehend her mother ever crying. “The minute I held you in my arms, my entire outlook on life changed. I quit my job. I wanted to be the best mother, but I soon learned that wasn’t where my gifts lay.”
“I don’t understand.” Kat moved closer but didn’t reach for her mother, in fear she’d run away from the conversation.
“That day I was showing you how to plant flowers in our garden. The phone rang, and I left you to watch a butterfly while I ran inside to answer it. Your father was calling to ask why I didn’t take a job that was offered to me, one that was an amazing opportunity. I told him I wasn’t ready to return to work, that you were still so young. We argued. He told me how I’d never be the mother I was trying to make everyone else think I was and I should return to helping him rise up in the political world.” She rushed through the words as if they burned her tongue as she spoke.
Kat reached for her mother, but she leaned away and held up a hand to stay her. “Don’t. I have to get this out.” She closed her eyes and then opened them with that cold façade reappearing. “I returned to the garden, but you weren’t there. You’d wandered off. To the pool.” Her voice cracked. “You’d fallen in, and you weren’t moving.”
The maid entered and put the tray on the table but quickly retreated at her mother’s scowl. “Ambulances, police, newspapers all flooded in to see my failings as a mother. Your father had been right, so I stopped pretending to be a good mother and returned to work where I belonged, at your father’s side.”
Kat saw it. The truth of it all. Why her mother had been so unhappy and cold and lost. “Mother, that could’ve happened to anyone, and I’m obviously okay.”
“Yes, Kat. Because I hired people to take care of you. I gave you a chance to grow up and be the amazing woman you’ve become because I didn’t pretend to be your mother.”
She grabbed the tea kettle and poured the light-brown liquid into each cup. “Now you know. You’ll make an excellent mother, but you don’t have to get married to be happy with your child. I don’t want you to feel like you have to get married because it’s expected of you the way my marriage to your father was expected of me.”
“But I love Wes. Our situation’s different. He supports me in everything. He sold his company so we could be together more.”
Her mother stopped mid-pour. “He did what?”
“Don’t you see? Wes isn’t Father. He’s loving and attentive and lifts me up. I’m sorry Father never did that for you.” Kat took the offered cup from her mother and sipped the warm, minty tea. “I want to marry him, Mother. Not for the baby or for you, but for me. It’s taken me a long time to feel worthy of his love and to realize that even though our lives have changed from what we’d planned, if he still wants to be with me, I want him as my husband.”
“Then why weren’t you already married?”
“I said no originally because I was scared that we had a relationship too much like…” She faded off, not wanting to be cruel.
“Like your father and me.”
Kat nodded. “He asked me several times before I got pregnant, but he hasn’t asked again since he found out about the baby. I’m not sure if it’s because he still wants a way out, if I told him no so many times that he doesn’t want to ask again, or if he’s still scared we’ll lose the baby and things won’t be the same. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m sick of being scared of losing him or this baby. I want to enjoy the time we have instead of worrying what tomorrow will bring.”
“Since when did the daughter I paid others to raise ever back down from something she wanted?”
Kat set the teacup and saucer back on the tray. “You’re right.” She stood and eyed the spiral stairs. “I’m going to propose, and I know just where to do it. Will you help?”
Mother stood, smoothing out the wrinkles that had dared to form. “You want me to help?”
“Yes. I know we have a long way to go with our relationship. I wish you’d explained this to me years ago, but so much makes sense now. And more than anything, I want everyone to be around to help love this baby.”
“As long as I’m not left alone with him or her, I’ll be a part of the baby’s life, or I’ll pay someone else to be.”
“Was that a joke? Did my mother just crack a joke?” Kat grabbed her by the crook of her arm, ignoring her stiffening frame. “Come help your daughter plan the perfect proposal for her boyfriend.”
Her mother adjusted her oversized diamond earrings. “Why not? Everything else in this house is backwards.”