JOHNNIE
‘Who knew places like this even existed?’ Johnnie said, looking around him in amazement as he pushed Carla in her buggy into the large baby emporium.
Rachel laughed. ‘You’re going to need deep, deep pockets this morning. Now, where’s the list? We’ll start with finding the cot section.’
Two hours later, a mountain of shopping on one side near the cash desk waiting to be paid for, Johnnie was exhausted. Sabine had told him the list contained only essential items. How could one small child need all this?
He glanced at Carla, now sleeping in her buggy after being cooed at and admired by all the assistants during the morning. Her slumped position didn’t look very comfortable, Johnnie thought guiltily.
‘How long do children stay in pushchairs for?’ he said, turning to Rachel.
‘A couple of years.’
‘Right. I know it’s not on the list but let’s find her something more comfortable than this buggy then,’ Johnnie said.
Fifteen minutes later, a top-of-the-range pushchair had been added to their purchases and they made their way to the cash desk. Johnnie glanced at a box and a pink embroidered dress complete with a matching sunhat Rachel was holding.
‘I’m buying her these,’ Rachel said. ‘All little girls love pink and I think Carla will look lovely in this. I couldn’t resist buying her this musical mobile.’
Half an hour later and with his credit card heavily in debt, Johnnie was attempting to fit everything into his car while Rachel held Carla and watched.
‘Good job it’s an estate,’ she said. ‘Never have got all this in a normal car.’
Johnnie grunted as he tried to wedge the cot mattress in over the top of everything. Finally he slammed the boot lid down. ‘Right, lunch. There’s a place down on the front that does great sea food and a glass of wine that has your name on it.’
By the time they’d found somewhere to park and walked the short distance to the restaurant, Carla was awake and grizzly. Rachel watched, amused, as Johnnie quickly found the bottle of milk and jar of baby food he’d placed in the buggy pocket and politely asked the waitress to heat them before they’d even looked at the menu for themselves.
‘You’re adapting very well to your new role in life,’ she said, watching him feed Carla.
‘To be honest, I’m feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility,’ Johnnie answered quietly. ‘She’s stopped crying now every time I pick her up so I guess she’s getting used to me. But in the middle of the night when she wakes and nothing can soothe her … then I do worry that I’m out of my depth.’ Carefully he tested the temp of the milk on the back of his hand before giving the bottle to Carla to hold.
‘Votre lait pour toi ma chérie,’ he murmured before placing a gentle kiss on Carla’s forehead.
‘On the other hand, getting down on my knees to tickle and play with her is a sheer delight. I can’t believe I have a daughter. I’m terrified of doing the wrong thing. Hurting her because I’m so inept. Sabine has been amazingly patient, answering my child-rearing questions and showing me how to do things, thank God.’
‘Children are resilient,’ Rachel said. ‘Give them lots of love and attention and you won’t go far wrong.’
‘I might be imagining it, but sometimes I swear she looks at me and then looks around as if wondering who this strange man is and where her mum has gone,’ Johnnie said.
‘That’s something you’re going to have to deal with in the future,’ Rachel said. ‘For now you just have to concentrate on giving her a loving childhood. But if it ever gets on top of you and Sabine isn’t around, well, I’m only up the road from you.’
‘Thanks. Appreciate it. I already owe you big time,’ Johnnie said. ‘Can you come to supper Wednesday next week? Meet Sabine. I have a feeling you’ll get on.’
‘Mmm, not sure about next Wednesday,’ Rachel said. ‘I’ve already got a couple of things planned. Maybe leave it for a week or two.’
‘OK,’ Johnnie said, smothering his disappointment. ‘Let me know when you’re free – but please don’t leave it too long. Even if Sabine can’t make it when you can, I’d still like to have dinner with you.’
What was it with Rachel? Every time he felt they were becoming real friends, she took a step back for no apparent reason and not exactly pushed him away, but it was as if she kept drawing a mental line between the two of them. A line he was finding it impossible to cross.