He could be a rake if he offers a lady his handkerchief.
MISS HONORA TRUTH’S WORDS OF WISDOM AND WARNING ABOUT RAKES, SCOUNDRELS, ROGUES, AND LIBERTINES
Oh, he was a rake of the highest order.
Of course, she wanted to kiss him.
But shouldn’t he just catch her up against his chest and kiss her madly, force a kiss on her whether or not she wanted him to? He was a rake. Shouldn’t he act like one?
Apparently not.
He knew she wanted him to kiss her. Was dying for him to kiss her. Why couldn’t he just do it? Without her making the first move. Wasn’t that what rakes were supposed to do?
Marlena sat silent.
And so did the duke.
It wasn’t fair. He had been the one promising her a kiss almost from the first day he arrived at her door with his short, captivating glances, long compelling gazes, and provocative words that kept her wanting more and more attention from him. Why did he want it to be her decision whether or not they kissed? And how could she once again be contemplating it at all? She should be feeling nothing but shame over her desire for him.
He was a rake, a rascal, and a scoundrel! But more than that, he was indirectly responsibility for Veronica marrying Mr. Portington. And Marlena had no idea how many of the other young ladies’ lives the Rakes of St. James had upended by their secret admirer letters.
And why, after all his years of being a scoundrel of the highest order, would he decide at this very moment to be a gentleman and not kiss her?
Maybe this was his plan all along, because he was a master of seduction? For surely he knew that denying her his kiss made her want it all the more. Her outrage over his past couldn’t extinguish the continuing attraction she had for him. He stirred emotions inside her that were too complicated for her to understand right now.
Marlena kept her hands still, the handkerchief resting on top of them. “Why are you making this my decision?”
“You are an innocent.”
“Why does that matter to you? You have kissed innocent young ladies before, haven’t you?”
His gaze searched hers. “Not for a long time.”
“Because?”
“You don’t mind asking personal questions, do you, Marlena?”
“It’s the usual way one gets answers.”
A grin broke across his masculine features and she realized she liked it when he looked at her like that. He quirked his head a little as a breeze scattered his dark locks across his forehead, reminding her of a brazen pirate yet again.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll tell you. Long ago I made a vow not to pursue innocent young ladies.”
She turned her head back to him. “After the secret admirer letters?”
“No, before then. When I realized young ladies’ hearts are too easily given and too easily broken. When I found out they believed a few kisses was a promise of marriage.”
“Did that happen to you? A young lady thought you intended marriage because you kissed her.”
“Twice, much to my father’s dismay, before I understood that it was best to seek comfort in the arms of a mistress or widow who had no illusions of marriage between us.”
Marlena cleared her throat. “Perhaps that was more than I wanted to know. I’m surprised you admitted it to me.”
“I think you understand men more than you realize, Marlena.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You would have never followed your cousins into a swamp or a cemetery unless you were quite sure they were looking out for you and would see to it you returned home safely. Since there were five of them, no doubt two of them stayed behind watching over you while the other three ran ahead of you.”
“Perhaps they did.” She smiled, remembering that her parents were watching over her, too. “It’s true the boys taught me more than just the difference between a frog and a toad and how to get down from a tree once I had climbed up it. I’ve missed them.”
“Where are they now? Are you still in touch with them?”
“No, I haven’t heard from my aunt in several years now. My uncle had a restless spirit, I think. He wanted to take his family to America and seek their fortunes there.” She sighed softly. “My aunt wasn’t happy but wouldn’t defy her husband. She didn’t think it fair to take me from my homeland and the life my parents expected me to have. That’s when my uncle arranged for me to live with Mr. Olingworth.”
“You’ve missed being part of a big family?”
Oh, yes, she had. She’d cried quietly in her room for weeks.
“Terribly at first. But Mr. Olingworth was kind and allowed me to play outside and roam about his spacious gardens. It made me feel closer to them, helped me remember them. And then it wasn’t long before Mr. Olingworth had me busy most days learning my lessons, reading, and sewing. All the things a proper young lady needs to know, but I never forgot chasing after the boys. Yelling for them to wait for me. Proving to them I wasn’t afraid of a worm, the dark, or tomorrow.” She stopped and smiled with sweet remembrance of those wonderful carefree days that helped make her strong. Strong enough to take on three dukes—even if it was anonymously.
“But all in your uncle’s family were safe in America last you heard?”
“Yes. A place called Boston at first. But the last I heard from them, which was years ago now, they were planning to move west and would be in touch.”
“But you didn’t hear from them again.”
A sadness gripped Marlena. “No, I didn’t.” She’d never forget the boys or the lessons they taught her.
Marlena looked over at the gate that stood in the middle of the side fence. The one that she, Eugenia, and Veronica had used many times to go back and forth between their houses. How could she be telling and revealing so much about herself to this man? It was his actions that had ruined Veronica and Eugenia’s lives and prompted her to start Miss Truth’s Scandal Sheet. Why was it that when she was with him like this, he seemed nothing like the rake, the rogue she always thought him to be? Expected him to be.
She faced him. “If you knew young ladies’ hearts became involved so easily, why did you send letters asking them to meet a secret admirer?”
Her sudden accusation didn’t cause him to blink. “I can’t explain the foolish actions of a young man who was so full of drink and arrogance he cared for nothing other than his own pleasures.”
“I find that hard to believe,” she said softly. “You have offered to help Eugenia.”
“I have no reason to lie to you about it. About anything. I was that young man.” His shoulders relaxed, and he placed his elbow on the top of the bench. “You know that what happened years ago was never about the letters. It was about a wager among three friends. We truly thought most of the young ladies would throw our notes into the fire and never think of them again. We couldn’t believe that every one of them went to meet their secret admirer.”
“And then you bragged about it.”
“No,” he said quietly, earnestly. “I want you to know the truth. We were not bragging when our conversation was overheard.”
“Yet you offered the man money not to tell.”
The duke slowly shook his head. “That may well be what you heard, but Mr. Howard Drayton wanted us to pay him money not to tell. A handsome sum from each of us every month. He saw it as a good way to sustain his mounting gambling debts. In hindsight, we should have given in to his demands, but it went against our nature to be intimidated by the man or any man. We knew it would do no good to threaten him because he had the Prince’s ear. Now it seems we were foolish not to pay. But we had no glimpse of the future. If we’d had any idea how long this scandal would follow us, and that it would actually outlive Mr. Drayton, we would have paid him. It would have been better if we had.”
“I suppose we all have regrets,” she commented, knowing she had a few of her own.
“Some of us more than others.”
“You say you haven’t pursued an innocent young lady for a long time, but you have been pursuing me every time you look at me, Your Grace, and with almost every word you say to me.”
She saw in his expression that her comment surprised him. “Is that truly how you feel?”
“I have no reason to lie to you about it,” she answered.
His expression turned to something between a grimace and a smile. “I’ve not deliberately done that—well, perhaps on an occasion or two. When I touched your cheek at your front door and when I had your back against the secretary in the drawing room.”
“More times than that and you know it,” she insisted, not taking her gaze from his. “I know all the reasons I shouldn’t but I want you to give me my first kiss. I believe you want that, too.”
“No doubt. I do. But I also know that I am the last person who should do it, because I am your guardian. I’m supposed to keep you safe from men just like me.”
“I trust you not to take advantage of me.”
A husky, intimate chuckle passed his lips. “I’m not sure you should.”
He reached up and placed one hand to the side of her neck. Its warmth soothed her instantly. She turned her head to more fully settle into his palm. His thumb caressed the skin under her chin before moving down the column of her throat to the top of her dress and back up again. The feather-light tenderness of his touch sizzled through her.
His penetrating gaze never left her face. “That’s asking a lot from me. From someone who’s never had to restrain himself when it came to anything he wanted.”
His touch, his expression, the way he looked at her made her breathless. Slow waves of pleasure expanded and grew inside. The heat of his touch seeped deeply into her soul.
“I don’t believe you’ve ever forced your attentions on a lady or anyone else.”
“I’ve never had to,” he answered without a hint of arrogance in his low tone.
The woodsy scent of his shaving soap stirred her senses. Marlena moistened her lips in anticipation. “I assume you’ve been kissed many times before, Your Grace, but I have not. So, of course, I’m curious about what makes kisses so stirring that poets write endlessly about them, people have clandestine meetings to kiss, and others have endangered their reputations for a stolen few.”
“Some have even risked scandal and death in order to have a few kisses from their lover, Marlena.”
“Yes, I believe that’s true,” she agreed.
“I am not stopping you from having your first kiss.”
No, he was encouraging her. His hand continued to cup her neck, and his fingers moved to caress the sensitive area behind her ear while his thumb moved up and over her jawline until it stilled at the corner of her lips. He lightly let the weight of his forearm rest between her breasts. Every soft, slow movement he made had her breathing deeper, her chest growing tighter, and the stirring between her legs feeling more wanton.
She gazed into his eyes. He wasn’t denying her, yet he wasn’t kissing her, either. She looked down. The handkerchief was there. Between them. A shield of sorts, but not one she wanted to use. The wind blew the corners of the linen but it wasn’t going anywhere unless she took hold of it. It had saved her from her great desire to kiss him once before. All she had to do was close her fingers around it and lift it between them. She had all faith he’d back away from her.
Marlena looked up into the duke’s dark eyes again. He stared at her with such rapt attention it made her feel as if she meant the world to him, and he would do everything within his power to give her her heart’s desire.
Yet he made no move toward her to do so.
Suddenly she understood. Because of his vow or honor or whatever it was that held him back, she had to make the first move. They both wanted the kiss, but she had to be the aggressor.
So be it.
Doing her best to settle her jittery stomach, to slow her racing heartbeat, Marlena lifted her hands. The handkerchief fell away. Kissing couldn’t be all that hard to do, she told herself. People did it all the time.
Reaching up, she slipped her arms around the duke’s neck and clasped her fingers together at his nape. She lifted her face to his and placed her closed lips against his. They were warm. Soft. They didn’t move and neither did hers. Just two sets of lips pressed together.
However, she was very much aware she was kissing a man for the first time so she let her lips stay against his for several seconds to prolong the momentous occasion. Her heart was pounding to the same beat that had her stomach jumping, but she wasn’t feeling the eager, spiraling sensations of desire she thought would be a part of the mating of their lips.
When she lifted her lashes, their eyes met and held. Marlena slowly broke the kiss, let her arms slowly drop to her sides and leaned away. She looked deeply into his eyes.
“Are you disappointed in your first kiss?” he asked.
Was she?
Perhaps a little she thought, but said, “I don’t think so. I wanted you to kiss me.”
“My beautiful, innocent Marlena, I didn’t kiss you. You kissed me.”
She frowned. She did, but—A tremor raced through her. “Were you disappointed with the kiss?” she asked, suddenly fearful she hadn’t done something right.
A hint of a smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “Not at all. It was refreshing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been kissed by someone who doesn’t know how to do it.”
She thought on what he said for a few seconds. “I suppose that’s true. It’s not something I’ve been taught the way I learned dancing, manners, reading, or even how to catch a fish.”
“Fishing? Did your cousins teach you how to do that, too?”
“They tried. I wanted to be with them and do whatever they did. I wasn’t any good at it.” She smiled. “I’ve had no tutors for kissing.”
The duke chuckled softly. “It’s best there are none for that. It comes naturally with practice.”
“I would assume you know how to kiss very well. That you’ve had a lot of practice.”
One corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. “You aren’t going to fool me into telling you anything about that, Marlena.”
“I’m not trying to. I was going to ask if you would kiss me this time and show me how it’s done properly.”
With his mouth hovering above hers, his gaze locked on hers, and his warm hand still resting ever so lightly against her neck, he asked, “Do you want a kiss from me because you are curious about how it’s usually done or because you have a burning desire to feel my lips on yours once again?”
“Both.”
A sparkle of surprise seemed to light in his dark-brown eyes. “Your answer will do—for now.”
The duke circled her waist and placed his hands in the center of her back, bringing her up close to his hard chest. Marlena felt strength in his arms as they surrounded her and warmth from his body as she settled into his embrace.
He lowered his head, closed his eyes, and softly placed his slightly parted mouth on hers. Just as before, his lips were pliant and moist, but this time her stomach quivered deliciously. Tingles of sensation shivered across her breasts and tightened her nipples. The duke didn’t just press his lips to hers and leave them there. No, he slanted them over hers and moved them back and forth, over and across hers. Slowly, generously, and softly, as if he were caressing the most prized bolt of velvet with his lips. She felt as if she could kiss him all day and not grow tired of doing it.
“Move your lips with mine,” he whispered without breaking contact with her.
Marlena did so as her arms once again circled his neck.
She felt him smile in answer, and then he kissed her again and again, moving his lips seductively, smoothly, confidently, and effortlessly over hers. It was stimulating and she felt every fiber of her being participating. She savored the experience of being held in the arms of a man for the first time. Her body seemed to melt closer and closer to his. She allowed her hands to explore his wide shoulders and broad back beneath the fine wool of his coat.
Marlena was swept away by new sensations twirling, curling, and tumbling inside her. He created such thrilling and intense feelings rippling inside her she was almost afraid to draw breath for fear they would disappear and never return.
How could it be that she’d spent almost three years of her life trying to make his life miserable? And now with his touch on her lips, on her skin, he was giving her pleasure she hadn’t known existed until she’d met him.
The duke raised his head and looked down into her eyes. Her heart fluttered. Her lashes blinked against his beckoning stare.
“Now do you see how much different a kiss can be?”
Almost dizzily, she answered, “Yes. Much better than mine to you. I’m wondering what comes next.”
“If only I could show you, but alas, I can’t. We’ll have to settle for another kiss and that will have to do.”
His lips came down to hers and lightly brushed across them. The contact was alluring, brief, and inviting. With a trembling sigh Marlena surrendered into his embrace again. Kissing was really very easy now that she knew what to do and much more pleasurable than her effort. Her fingers played in the thick, soft hair at the back of his head. She breathed in deeply, trying to take in every second of being in his arms and memorizing them all.
“You smell like sunshine,” he whispered against her lips.
Marlena laughed softly between short eager kisses and though she loved the smell of him, the taste of him, and the feel of him holding her so close to his strong, warm chest, she answered, “Sunshine has no scent.”
“Oh, but it does. It smells just like you—a warm breeze on a cool, sunny day. The fragrance is warmth, beauty, and goodness.”
“You are making that up. And I am not good, Your Grace,” she admitted honestly, knowing he didn’t know who she was, what she had done, and what she continued to do as Miss Honora Truth—and at the moment praying he never would.
“You feel good in my arms.”
He kissed her cheeks, her eyes, over her jawline and down her neck. Passion burst quickly between them. Gone were the sweet soft kisses and in their place were eager, desperate, and hungry kisses. His arms held her tighter. And as if it was the most natural thing to do, Marlena opened her mouth and the duke’s tongue entered to tease, to play, and to seek hers.
Marlena’s stomach, her abdomen, and between her legs tightened at the thrilling spirals of need cascading through her.
Sensations that she had never experienced shot to the core of her being as a tingling warmth settled over her, filling her with an eagerness to know more, to feel more, and to give more in return. She had no idea how or why she had such wanton, wonderful feelings.
Feelings aroused from the touch of a rake. A man who knew just how to kiss her, hold her, and tempt her beyond her control to stop him.
He wasn’t forcing her to do anything. He hadn’t even reached for her. She had initiated their kisses.
She wanted this.
Something she could have never expected, never have dreamed had happened with the Duke of Rathburne. The man in whom she’d done her best to inspire shame, guilt, and penance with her writings.
The duke’s hand slid up her waist to cup and caress her breast beneath the sprigged muslin of her dress. Marlena gasped at the desire that flooded her entire body. She moaned faintly at the exploding pleasure overcoming her. Now she finally knew what the poets meant when they wrote about ravishing their lovers.
Marlena wanted the rake to ravish her.
Their kisses became more passionate with each breath. His tongue lightly probed and stroked in and out of her mouth, teasing her. His kisses filled her with a hunger she didn’t understand but somehow knew only the duke could satisfy. All she was aware of was how the duke was making her feel and hoping it would go on forever.
Suddenly the side gate burst open wih a bang.
“Marlena! I have our article and its wonder—”
Marlena and the duke sprang apart as if a shot had been fired between them. She felt as if her heart had entered her throat. Had Eugenia said our article in front of the duke? Had she seen them kissing? Of course, she had!
“Oh, I didn’t know you were here,” Eugenia squeaked, clutching at her skirt with one hand and tightly holding a sheet of newsprint in the other. Her gaze solidly on the duke.
“He’s not,” Marlena said without thinking. “I mean. Yes, yes, he’s here. We’re here. We were just sitting in the garden.”
Eugenia seemed frozen when she said, “You were wrapped in each other’s arms.”
“Yes, I suppose we were,” Marlena said guiltily and jumped up off the bench while the duke slowly rose and remained quiet. “But I can explain that.” She looked over at the duke, hoping he would step in and help her. Surely he was more used to a situation like this than she was, but he was watching Eugenia.
“You were kissing him,” her friend said.
“Yes,” Marlena answered and feeling quite incapable of doing so, added, “And I can explain that, too.”
Eugenia’s surprised expression suddenly turned to one of fear. “How? Was he attacking you?”
Marlena gasped. “No, no! Of course not. I mean I know he’s a rake, but he’s not a brute.”
The duke held out his hand toward Eugenia, and calmly said, “Nothing is wrong, Miss Everard. There is no cause for alarm.”
“You were kissing her,” she said again but not nearly as loud as before. “With such passion that I—I…” Her words seemed to trail off into the air and disappear.
“I have not hurt Miss Fast and I won’t harm you. Miss Fast wanted to know what it would—No, don’t faint. Miss Everard, listen to me, do not faint.”
“Eugenia, no!” Marlena called to her friend.
But it was too late for either of them to say or do anything to help. Eugenia’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she crumpled to the ground before they could reach her. The scandal sheet she’d been holding floated down into the dead grass beside her.
Marlena and the duke rushed to her side and knelt down.
“Eugenia, are you all right?” Marlena looked over at him and asked, “Is she all right?”
Instead of answering, he said, “Do you still want to tell me she doesn’t faint often?”
“I swear she doesn’t,” Marlena insisted. “I mean, of course, she would faint this time. Heavens to mercy! She saw us kissing.”
“I’m well aware of that, Marlena.”
“That would put anyone over the brink.”
“Maybe.” He looked down at Eugenia and then over to the scandal sheet. “What did she mean by our article?”
Marlena’s throat constricted again. Suddenly she felt as cautious as she had the first afternoon the duke arrived at her house. As if he knew she was Miss Truth.
“It means that we share the price and buy just one,” Marlena said, thinking quickly. “We bought it together so it’s ours.”
“Oh.”
“Is she hurt?” Marlena asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from the scandal sheet as quickly as possible.
“She shouldn’t be. The ground is soft here and she didn’t appear to hit her head on anything as she went down.” Rath added, “Will she tell your cousin we were kissing?”
That thought hadn’t crossed Marlena’s mind. “Eugenia tell Justine? No. No, she wouldn’t tell Justine anything. She wouldn’t even tell her sister. Unlike me, Eugenia is quite timid about most things and wouldn’t want to create any trouble for me or anyone. I have no fear of her tattling.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” the duke said. “She does seem quite timorous.”
He reached over and picked up the article that had tumbled to the earth with Eugenia.
The duke turned to Marlena. “Apparently the two of you enjoy Miss Truth’s books and her scandal sheets.”
“Yes,” she answered after swallowing a lot more guilt.
“Do you read it every week?”
She nodded.
“I haven’t read this one,” he said and his eyes drifted back to the paper.
Merciful heavens! Was he going to read it right in front of her?
It was horrifying to have the duke holding the scandal sheet in his hand. Knowing as he did that both their names were written in it. And that she had been the one who’d written them.
Would he remember any of the words from the writings he’d seen that day in the drawer of her secretary? Was she about to be found out and have to admit she was the writer of the scandal sheet that had haunted him for almost three years?
Seconds passed and he didn’t accuse her so she asked, “Do you really read them?”
He looked over at her and said, “Most of the time. They’re never longer than a paragraph or two. It’s not like reading a book. I suppose you have read her book by now, too.”
Guiltily, she nodded again.
“I haven’t read it yet,” he offered.
How long could it take to read such a simple book, she groused silently to herself!
“I heard it’s selling rather briskly, which surprised me,” he said.
That surprised Marlena, too, when Veronica had told her.
“There’s really no reason you should bother yourself with such trivial entertainment,” she answered honestly. “You probably wouldn’t enjoy it anyway.”
“But you did,” he said. “Your reading group as well?”
Marlena was forced to nod for the third time, certain her throat was too dry to speak again.
Looking at him, with the breeze stirring his dark hair, Marlena remembered the passion she’d felt in his arms and she wanted the ground to open and swallow her. Her double life was catching up with her, but she couldn’t let it scare her. What she’d done, what she was doing might be wrong but she had to remember it was for a worthy cause.
“Apparently, Miss Truth has heard that I am now your guardian. Does that bother you? To have your name printed in here.”
Yes, it bothered her. Just as it now bothered her to write about him. It was much easier before she could put a face to the name of the Duke of Rathburne.
“I suppose it had to be done. Justine has been telling everyone,” Marlena said, more breathlessly than she would have liked to sound.
The duke glanced back to her. “Does she know who Miss Truth is?”
“I hope not.”
He gave her a puzzled glance. “Why is that?”
“She would probably tell everyone about that, too.”
He smiled. “And you wouldn’t like that. You’d then have one less scandal sheet to read.”
Eugenia rolled her head back and forth and started mumbling words that thankfully Marlena couldn’t understand. How was she ever going to explain what happened between her and the duke to her friend?
The duke held the sheet toward Marlena. “Here, you take this. Since your name is printed in it along with mine, I’m sure you don’t want to lose it.” He extended the scandal sheet to her. “You carry it and I’ll carry Miss Everard into the house. It’s time to try your smelling salts.”