He could be a rake if he kisses you and makes you swoon, and then never calls on you again.
MISS HONORA TRUTH’S WORDS OF WISDOM AND WARNING ABOUT RAKES, SCOUNDRELS, ROGUES, AND LIBERTINES
Marlena stood on a box and looked at herself in the tall wall mirror of Mrs. Musgrove’s Dressmaking Shop. The famous modiste was, indeed, a French woman who had married a Londoner a year ago. At his insistence, she’d changed the name of her shop to suit her new husband. Lady Vera claimed she was still the person to use in Town, because she could work miracles with fabrics, colors, and trims.
After little more than a whirlwind of a week of choosing fabrics, ribbon, lace, and a host of other things, Marlena was trying on her fifth gown of the day. The one she had on was exquisite. Her underdress was a simple dark-pink satin shift. The fine silk overskirt was a gossamer layer of the palest pink froth Marlena had ever seen. The high waist, short capped sleeves, and hem were banded with dark-pink velvet ribbon. Tiny little sweetheart bows had been sewn all over the skirt. Marlena looked at the overly adorned dress and wondered if there was any way she could get out of ever having to wear it. She wasn’t adverse to bows, but there must have been fifty on the gown.
And she’d certainly never had a dress cut so low. Lady Vera and Mrs. Musgrove insisted she not be shy about showing off to all the gentlemen, those available and those not, what nature had beautifully given her. Marlena would have to get used to that, along with the abundance of bows.
Still staring into the mirror, her gaze strayed to what was behind her. More gowns. More ruffles, flounces, ribbons, and delicate, handmade silk roses sewn onto skirts that were sprigged, tufted, gathered, or scalloped at the hem. And all of them had been made for her in a short span of time.
It was almost too much for her to take in.
Her dresses had always been good fabrics, well stitched but simple, void of what she considered unnecessary frippery. Marlena’s clothing was always very wearable. In the house, in the garden, or in the park. The gown she had on and the ones hanging on the wall behind her looked as if they were far too fragile to touch, let alone wear anywhere outside her bedchamber.
One thing Marlena had learned during the past week was that when Lady Vera spoke, people listened and acted. Mrs. Musgrove had more than a dozen women working for her, too. As soon as a pattern and fabric had been chosen, the dress was assigned to a seamstress and it was started immediately.
Marlena looked at herself in the gown again. It did make her look pretty. Made her feel pretty. She turned her body and watched the skirt float and swish delicately from side to side. Maybe there weren’t too many pink bows on it after all.
She’d never worn a ball gown. She’d never been to a ball. And why-oh-why, now that she was going to be attending them, did she want to be on the arm of the Duke of Rathburne. Why did she want to be in his arms again? Held tight. Feeling his lips on hers, his warm breath on her neck. If she was going to fall in love, why did it have to be with this man?
Fall in love? Heaven have mercy on her. Had she fallen in love with the duke?
Fate must be punishing her for writing the scandal sheet. Writing about innocent people like the lovely Lady Vera and causing them worry about what might be said about them next.
Marlena closed her eyes, as she had so many times in the past few days, and remembered the duke’s passionate kisses in the cover of the fog. His body had been so warm. His mouth and lips had tasted so good. She’d felt as if her body were melting into his as they kissed and kissed, and then kissed again. But then her eyes opened. The duke’s sudden, whispered words that he must go had left her feeling shocked, empty, and bereft as he’d quickly disappeared into the gray mist.
And he hadn’t been back to her house.
She’d done something wrong. But what? Had she allowed him too much liberty? Did he think her a loose woman because they’d kissed so deeply and touched so freely? She shouldn’t have allowed it but she wasn’t sorry she had. The memories were too important to her. She wouldn’t want to give them up.
What upset her most of all was that she must continue to write about him for now even though he was trying to help Veronica and Eugenia. If Eugenia made a good match during the Season perhaps her husband could then help her take care of Veronica.
Marlena swallowed past a tight throat. She didn’t know what she was going to do about herself. The duke was going to expect her to choose a husband as well. That chilling thought was too disturbing to dwell on.
“You look quite stunning in that gown, Miss Fast, but you are also looking pensive,” Lady Vera said, walking into the fitting room with all the elegance one would expect from the sister of a handsome duke.
“Thank you for the compliment,” she answered softly. “And I suppose I am pensive. I’m not sure I’m ready to look for a husband, and I can’t figure out where I would ever go that I’d need so many gowns, carriage and day dresses, and traveling outfits. Not to mention all the gloves, capes, headpieces, and underthings to go with each one. I know the Season is several weeks, but surely I can wear a gown more than once.”
“Indeed, you can. Are there pins in the one you are wearing now?” Lady Vera asked.
“No. Mrs. Musgrove said it was perfect.”
“I think so, too.” She reached her hand out for Marlena. “Let me help you step down. Come sit on the settee with me while we wait for Justine to finish looking at the fabrics and lace.”
Marlena took her hand and stepped down from the box.
After they made themselves comfortable on the settee, Lady Vera said, “You will have many places to wear your gowns, Miss Fast. We are fitting you for clothing not only for the Season but for your marriage as well.”
“Oh, my.” Marlena eased onto the settee beside Lady Vera.
“You know that is what the Season is for. The marriage mart, remember? But only if you should find the right match.” She smiled. “Should you accept an offer early, which is quite possible given how lovely you are, your intended may want to marry quickly, and if so, you will already have all your clothing prepared.”
Marry quickly?
That sent another chill racing over Marlena.
“It is Rath’s duty to see you wed.”
“Yes, of course. I know I must marry. Sometime. It’s just that I don’t think about it often.”
“I find that interesting, Miss Fast.”
“Why? I’ve not had many opportunities to be around gentlemen. I have other things to occupy my time and my thoughts.”
“Marriage is something most young ladies think about all the time. Getting an offer from the right man, leaving their parents’ home, making a life of their own with their husband, and having his children. But there is no reason you have to dwell on such. It’s just that most young ladies do because they want to marry their first Season. My sister Sara did. She is very happy and expecting her first child.”
“That is lovely for her. I’m glad her life is settled and that she’s happy.”
“She is,” Lady Vera said with a clear carefree attitude. “I, on the other hand, am still waiting for the man I want to spend the rest of my life attached to. The longer I wait the harder it gets to choose.”
Marlena’s chest tightened as that horrifying feeling of jealousy gripped her again. “Is that because the Duke of Rathburne hasn’t offered for your hand yet?”
Lady Vera laughed softly. “So that is the reason you don’t like me, Miss Fast. Because of my relationship with Rath?”
“What?” Marlena exclaimed. Was Lady Vera serious? “No, it’s not true. I like you very much. I don’t know how you can say that. And with a smile on your face.”
“It is true, but I don’t mind now that I know why.”
“You are being unkind,” Marlena insisted. “I have the utmost respect for you. For how bold and honest you are about your feelings. I wish we all could be so engaging. I don’t dislike you. I—I.” She stopped, not wanting to lay open her feelings.
“What?”
“If you must know I am jealous, but I don’t dislike you at all. It’s surprising to me as well, but I enjoy being with you.”
“That’s nice to hear.” Lady Vera’s smile remained in place. “A little jealousy is good. Not too much, mind you, but a small amount. Are you envious because I am so carefree with Rath, or is it because I am the sister of the Duke of Griffin and feel I don’t have to marry just because it’s expected of me or that my brother wants me to?”
“Rath, of course,” Marlena answered, knowing Lady Vera already knew but was giving her a way to deny it if she wanted to. Why should she? After writing about Lady Vera in the scandal sheet two years ago the least Marlena could do was be honest with her now.
“I should have guessed earlier. I noticed the way the two of you kept looking at each other the afternoon you and I met. I thought it was because it shocked you that I wanted to assist with your Season. Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of things to occupy me. I’ve quite enjoyed the challenge of helping you.”
“I will understand if you want to stop assisting me now that you know I have developed feelings for the duke, too.”
Lady Vera laughed. “I can see you don’t know me at all, Miss Fast. If I saw you as competition for anyone I was interested in, I would still help you but make sure you wore the most hideous gowns Mrs. Musgrove could make.”
Marlena chuckled. Lady Vera was right. She could not compete with her. “You are beautiful and intelligent. You’re the sister of a duke with a dowry I’m sure no other young lady could match. You have no competition, Lady Vera.”
“Rath doesn’t need nor does he desire any lady’s dowry, so you can put that thought out of your mind. Tell me, why don’t you seek Rath’s affection? You have the perfect opportunity.”
“How?”
“He is already dedicated to taking care of you.”
Marlena looked over at the mirror and saw all the gowns she would be wearing to attract gentlemen—but there was only one she wanted to notice her. The one who wasn’t a rake after all. He was a gentleman. He was good to Justine. He was trying to help Eugenia—a young lady he didn’t even know. He had kissed her, yes. Not something a gentleman should do, but she had invited his kisses and touches. He hadn’t forced them on her. It had been her decision to make whether they kissed from the first day when she was backed against her secretary.
It was useless to think about trying to win affection from Rath. Though she hadn’t known it at the time, she had sealed her fate about that possibility when she became Miss Truth.
“I would never try.”
“What’s this?” Lady Vera exclaimed. “Are you telling me you want the attentions of a gentleman you aren’t willing to fight for? Because if you are, I’d tell you that you don’t deserve a man you aren’t willing to fight for.”
“If it were only a lady I had to fight, I’d be willing. That’s not the reason. There are other things. Things in my past that I don’t want to discuss.”
“You are being honest about that. I can see something troubles you.”
“Yes, and it’s not something I can change.”
“Sometimes it is easier to embrace things than change them, Miss Fast.”
“That’s not possible either. Other people are involved, but I thank you for being kind about it. Tell me, have you known the duke long?”
“Since I was a little girl. Hawk and Rath would come home from Oxford with Griffin. And sometimes he’d go home with one of them. Sara and I would miss their visits. Once we even wrote them very childish letters.”
“So that is why you are so free with him. Touching him.”
Lady Vera relaxed against the back in the settee, crossed one leg over the other, and started swinging her foot. Marlena was amazed to see a lady be so casual.
“Rath used to give me rides on his back. Sara would get on Hawk’s back and they would race to a certain spot to see who would win. Hawk and Rath were so handsome, tall, and strong. Sara and I gave them no peace while they were with Griffin but still they would come for a visit. I know they enjoyed our attention—for a little while anyway.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Marlena said wistfully. “I lived with my cousins for a few years and I can remember taking turns riding on their backs, too. They were so good about me pestering them. But they moved away and I went to live with Mr. Olingworth. There were no children to play with at his house so I spent my time in the garden talking to flowers and sometimes the insects that crawl on them.”
“Flowers are beautiful friends,” Lady Vera said.
“Yes,” Marlena admitted. “I never felt lonely when I was in the garden. Flowers don’t last, though they do come back the next year, and that’s always a comfort. Tell me, Lady Vera, do you really want to marry Rath?”
“Of course I do. What lady wouldn’t? But I never will. Not because I don’t love him dearly. I do. But as a brother, and he loves me as a sister as he’s said. We will never marry, but we will always be close. Rath would come to my aid if I ever needed him. Hawk, too.”
“Three brothers then. You are blessed.”
Lady Vera let out a satisfied smile. “I am. You may not remember or may not have even known that a couple of years ago, when Sara and I made our debuts, there was a revival of Griffin’s, Hawk’s, and Rath’s secret admirer letters in a scandal sheet.”
Marlena went still. That old fear of being caught assailed her.
“It said something along the lines that Sara and I might bear the brunt of revenge for Griffin’s and the other rakes’ misdeeds,” Lady Vera continued. “And someone might want to disrupt our Season to get back at them. Do you remember anything about that?”
Very guiltily Marlena swallowed hard and answered, “Yes, I do. I’m sure it must have made you and Lady Sara suspicious of every gentleman you met, but I hope nothing tarnished you or your sister because of that rumor.”
“Oh, we weren’t suspicious of anyone,” she insisted.
Marlena gasped. “How can that be true?”
“We were cautious as all ladies should be about how a gentleman is treating her. Being twins we were always the center of attention. And if we weren’t, we’d do something to make sure we were. We thrived on it. The more the better.”
“I’m pleased that you weren’t upset about the rumor and its possible consequences.”
Lady Vera waved her hand dismissively. “Both twins living to our age are a rarity as I’m sure you know. Sara and I had been the topic of discussion as long as we could remember. We wouldn’t have wanted our first Season be any different. Far from the scandal sheet ruining our lives, it enhanced them. We enjoyed every moment of the Season.”
That surprised Marlena. “And you never felt you were in danger of anyone trying to ruin your Season or your reputation?”
“Not in the least. From the first, we never believed anyone wanted to harm us and no one did. Oh, no, wait. That’s not exactly true. There was one. Lord Henry, a young bachelor who was so handsome he could make birds sing just by looking at them. He still can. But he is an ogre in gentleman’s clothing. One afternoon he thought to make good on that rumor and was trying to force me to kiss him, but I took care of him with a few whacks on his head with my parasol.”
Marlena was astonished. “Did you really?”
“I did and was quite proud of myself. I taught him that when a lady says no, she means no. The poor man was bleeding all over his white shirt and neckcloth. Every time I think about it now, I smile. He had to stay in hiding for over a week to let the bruising heal.”
“I think that’s wonderful,” Marlena said, and then suddenly realized how that must have sounded and added, “I mean that he learned a valuable lesson about how to treat a lady. I hope the experience wasn’t too frightening.”
“Only for Lord Henry. You’ll probably meet him at the first ball. I hear he’s now a perfect gentleman when he takes a young lady for a ride in the park. And neither of us make mention of the incident when we meet. He bows, kisses my hand, and says hello every time he sees me.”
“And Lady Sara? Did she have any ill effects from the rumor?”
“None at all. From the first mention of the rumor she and I thought the intent of it was to worry poor Griffin. And it did concern him tremendously. Hawk and Rath, too. In fact, Hawk was so concerned he helped his sister make a match before her debut started so she wouldn’t be set upon by mischief-makers wanting to ruin her Season.”
So the rakes had been worried but the twin sisters had not. Marlena couldn’t help but feel a little prick of triumph for Veronica and the other ladies who’d been embarrassed by the secret admirer letters. She was also impressed by Lady Vera and glad she had enough wits about herself to take care of the misbehaving Lord Henry. However, Marlena only said, “I’m glad to hear the rumors didn’t disturb you greatly.”
“If what I believe is true, whoever started the rumor should be quite satisfied with himself because the trio of rakes have been worried and probably will remain so until I marry. They would all love to know who was behind it.”
“Why?” Marlena asked cautiously, thinking of the kind and gentle Mr. Bramwell. “It was so long ago.”
“Well, you know it’s said there are two things a man will wait forever for.”
“No,” Marlena said even though she was fearful of the answer.
“Love and revenge.”
Marlena moistened her lips. Even if she was found out, she’d have to be very careful that Mr. Bramwell was never implicated.
“You look disturbed, Miss Fast. Are you thinking there may be retribution against you this Season because you are now Rath’s ward?”
“Me?” Marlena smiled and tried to relax. “No. That never entered my mind.”
“Good, because I would hate for your Season to be troubled.”
Guilt flooded Marlena. Lady Vera was truly concerned about her. And yes, the rumor would indeed hurt Marlena’s Season—not for the reasons Lady Vera was thinking, but because of Marlena herself. She could never admit her role as Miss Truth, and because of that, she couldn’t let Rath know how she felt about him.
“It won’t be,” Marlena fibbed.
“I don’t know if you are aware,” Lady Vera continued, “but Miss Honora Truth has a book out. Have you read it?”
Welcoming the chance to change the subject even if it was about her book, Marlena said, “Yes, I have.”
“Quite entertaining, don’t you think?”
Marlena nodded honestly as another wave of guilt washed over her. Lady Vera letting her know the rakes had worried about their sisters welfare had helped Marlena know that Veronica had received a measure of revenge for the secret admirer letter but Marlena wasn’t sure the price she’d paid was worth it.
“I only wish I knew the woman. Or man.”
Marlena blinked rapidly. “A man?”
“Yes, some believe the scandal sheet and the book are actually written by one of the men who works at the publishing house. Whoever she or he or they are, I wish I knew them. With two Seasons behind me, I could certainly add a lot to the writings in the book.”
That caught Marlena’s interest, and she asked. “Such as?”
“He could be a rake if he looks at you from across the room and smiles at you, but never approaches you.”
“Oh, my. Yes, that is a very good one.”
Lady Vera leaned closer to Marlena. “He could be a rake if he pursues you even when your father has told him to stay away.”
“I like that one, too, and I’m sure that’s true,” Marlena said, wishing she’d had Lady Vera’s help to write the book.
“How about this one,” Lady Vera said excitedly. “He could be a rake if he smiles when you slap him for kissing you.”
“That one is wonderful!”
“Now you tell me one.”
Marlena thought for a moment. “How about, He could be a rake if he ignores your tender affections for him and pursues another lady.”
“Oh, that one is perfect,” Lady Vera said with a laugh. “I know that some people are disturbed by scandal sheets but others see value in them. They are entertained by the gossip whether or not any of it is true. Many are, I believe. Some, like me relish it and love seeing our names in the columns.”
Lady Vera’s perspective didn’t exonerate Marlena but it certainly made her feel a little better. Marlena then leaned back in the settee, crossed one leg over the other as casually as Lady Vera had, and started swinging her foot, too.
It was so pleasing to have a lighthearted conversation with a young lady who had no fears to haunt her. No dark lonely nights disturbing her peace. A lady who was happy and settled where she was in life. Marlena had Veronica and Eugenia. She was devoted to them but their lives were not happy or easy. There was seldom peace, humor, or laughter between them. Their lives were in a constant upheaval.
Eugenia was too timid to say much about Mr. Bramwell, even though Marlena knew she pined for him and he longed for her. Veronica was never happy with anything Mr. Portington did. They were her friends but they weren’t happy.
Lady Vera could have been a true friend for Marlena if not for Miss Truth. There was no use in wondering if Lady Vera would ever forgive Marlena should she find out that Marlena was Miss Truth. It didn’t matter. Marlena was beginning to wonder if she could ever forgive herself for writing about such a lovely person—or for being obligated to keep writing about the duke.