Just One of Those Days
Three weeks later
Tucker Thompson wiped down the table he’d just bussed then straightened the condiments and the napkin holder. He’d been working less hours with Todd, ever since Todd’s mother, Belinda Nelson, had reentered his life. Emptiness clawed at Tuck’s insides as he felt the chasm of distance growing between them. Even when they saw each other, they barely talked. Even their physical closeness had taken a hit. They hadn’t shared a bed in more than a week.
When they first got together, he’d imagined all the reasons why it was a bad idea. He’d thought of how many ways they could blow apart their friendship, but Todd’s mother had never been one of the scenarios. He couldn’t compete with her hold over Todd. He’d never stopped loving her, even when he’d made up his mind to leave her in his past. Why had she suddenly reached out? Todd hadn’t mattered to her when he was a kid. Why did he suddenly matter to her now? Which is what he’d said to Todd a couple of weeks back.
The memory shamed him. Of course, Todd mattered. He was the most important person in Tucker’s life. He’d just been so angry with Todd for shutting him out, for being secretive. From what little Todd would tell him about Belinda, she’d been in and out of prison for eight years, but it had been two years since she’d been released for her last offense. She told Todd she’d gotten clean in jail and hadn’t used since.
Tucker felt even more guilt that his anger over the situation made him wish sometimes that Belinda would just get on with loading a syringe and get the hell out of Todd’s life. It had always been he and Todd against the world, and now, with Belinda back in the picture, Tuck felt left alone.
“Hey, Tuck. I just seated a table of four in booth eight,” Jay Lincoln, his boss, said as he passed Tucker on his way toward the bar.
Tuck stared at the tall, dark-haired man for a moment. Jay was good-looking enough, he supposed, and Tuck liked him for the most part. Although, he hadn’t liked when Todd had pursued Jay in the past. He knew Todd and Jay had fucked around at least once. Now that Jay had a regular man in his life, Tuck scratched him off the list of potential threats to his happiness. He supposed he could see why Jay appealed to Todd. An older guy, fit, business owner, and he had soulful golden-brown eyes. Landing a guy like Jay would have been like hitting lottery for someone like Todd. And someone like himself. Someone who grew up with nothing and had to worry all the time about what might come next.
“Tuck?” Jay narrowed his gaze, his mouth pursed, and his expression curious. “Booth eight,” he reiterated.
Tuck snapped out of his musings. “On it,” he said.
A hand on his shoulder startled him. Tuck jerked his gaze to the man behind him then instantly relaxed. “Hey, Alex.”
Alex Michaels searched Tuck’s face, his expression pondering. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Tuck said. He forced a smile. “Just one of those days.”
Alex and Tuck had gone on a date once, and the conversation had been easy between them. He’d been nearly the perfect guy for Tucker. The only thing wrong with Alex was that he hadn’t been Todd. Now, Alex had some weird thing going on between him and the night cook. As he and Alex became friends, Alex told him about some of Ricky’s demands. It sounded complicated, but Ricky made Alex happy enough. Even though Alex insisted he wasn’t serious about the relationship, he could tell Ricky meant more to Alex than a regular hook-up. He hoped his friend wasn’t on a road to heartbreak.
Alex shook his head. He gazed down at Tuck with his large, deep-set brown eyes. “You know you can talk to me.”
“I appreciate the offer, but really, I’m good.” Besides, Todd might be okay with Tucker’s friendship with Alex, but he wouldn’t be okay with Tuck talking about his personal life with Alex.
Alex put his hands up. “Okay. I get it, but the offer stands.”
“How are things going with you and Mr. Big Stuff?” Tuck asked, a sly grin on his face. From everything Alex had told him, Ricky slender body was misleading when it came to other parts of his anatomy. Tucker still couldn’t believe the guy was a doctor. The sleeves of tattoos on both arms, along with the thick tussle of dark, unkempt hair and the full beard only added to Ricky’s mystique. He was a dichotomy. A puzzle. Tuck believed that was part of Alex’s attraction to the man.
Alex pursed his lips, suppressing a laugh. “Strange, good, weird.”
“Normal then.”
Alex guffawed. “Yes, normal.” He nervously glanced at the kitchen doors as if he expected Ricky to bust out of the doors at any moment. “I invited him to my parents for their annual 4th of July party.”
“And?”
“And he said yes.” Alex frowned. “It’s too late to take it back. I hadn’t expected him to say yes. It’s going to be a disaster.”
“Why?” Tuck knew Alex liked Ricky a lot more than he let on. He had to be, on some level, thrilled that Ricky was willing to go.
“My family is a bunch of assholes.”
Tuck’s laugh tore from him with a loud snort.
Alex’s expression grew serious. “Did you look over those college applications I got for you?”
Tucker smiled. “Yes.”
“And?”
Before Tuck could answer, Ricky stepped out of the kitchen and yelled, “Order.” His gaze snapped to Tuck and Alex before narrowing into a hard stare.
Alex’s eyes widened with something akin to frightened excitement, like the look that people get when they are sitting at the top of the highest hill on a rollercoaster right before it takes off. “That’s mine,” he said, quickly turning on his heel and heading toward the kitchen.
Tuck wasn’t certain whether Alex meant the order or Ricky.
After his shift wound to an end, he drove home, unable to stop the feeling of dread. Would Todd even be home? He wasn’t certain which was worse, being alone in the apartment or being alone in the apartment with Todd ignoring him.
It was two in the morning, and the lights were out inside their place. Tuck went to his room first. His bed was made. The pile of laundry he’d left on his floor near the bed was gone. Todd had even ordered the items on Tuck’s dresser.
Tuck went over and put the spray bottle of cologne at the edge and fanned out the collection of sports magazines Todd had neatly stacked in chronological order. In the bathroom, Todd lined up the shampoo, conditioner, mouthwash, and hair gel sideways, their labels all facing one way. The toothpaste was pressed at the bottom and rolled up, and the toothbrushes were front facing in a spotless holder.
Tuck’s stomach clenched. Todd had always been meticulous. He needed order in his life. But this tight control he tried maintain over their home was another symptom of how much his mother’s presence in his life was tearing him apart. He’d tried to get Todd to talk about it. Hell, he’d even suggested a counselor. The suggestion had earned him silent treatment for two full days.
He peeked into Todd’s bedroom next. His heart ached as he watched his lover’s restless sleep. He wished he knew what Todd needed right now. He wished he could be what Todd needed right now. But as long as Todd shut him out, there was nothing he could do to help. He worried their relationship was a house of cards and one strong cross breeze would blow it apart.
“I love you,” he said quietly. “Please let me in.”