Roper had done his best to reassure Cassie that Jack was to be trusted but as he lay on his bedroll under the stars he strained to make out the words as Jack tossed and turned and talked in his sleep. But he could make no sense of the mumbling.
The man was older than Roper had pictured but that didn’t automatically make him unsuitable. Constable Allen assured him Jack’s credentials were flawless.
“He’s a well-respected businessman. My superior in Toronto says he’s a fair man with a healthy bank account.”
Roper had no bank account. He wasn’t any sort of businessman. Most of all, he had no claim to the children. But despite his words to Cassie he wished the man had not come.
How was he to say goodbye to the children?
His plans for marriage to Cassie ended with the uncle’s arrival.
He would continue on as a cowboy with no family ties—empty and alone.
It was a familiar position for him. He would make the best of it as he’d always done. But would he be happy?
Next morning, he was up early, impatient to be at work finishing the house. He knew Cassie would refuse help once the children left so he meant to get as much as possible done in whatever time he had.
Jack staggered from the tent, pale as butter and shaking.
“Are you okay?”
Jack nodded. “I’ll be fine as soon as I have coffee.”
“Cassie will have it ready when we get there.” He’d normally have been at breakfast before now but had waited for Jack.
The other man washed at the river, shivering at the coldness of the water then they climbed slowly to the top of the hill.
The children watched their approach, caution filling their eyes.
“Good morning, Uncle Jack,” Daisy called. She nudged the boys and they added their greeting.
Jack paused, breathing hard. “Good morning, children.” He made it to the table and collapsed on the bench, letting out a weak sigh. “I’m not used to sleeping on the ground.”
Roper studied the man. He looked worse than when he went to bed. Cassie watched him, too, and she and Roper exchanged glances. Was the man up to caring for four children? Of course, he wouldn’t have to do it personally. He could doubtlessly afford a nanny.
But after two cups of coffee, Jack seemed to revive. He asked to be shown around.
“Go ahead,” Cassie said in response to Daisy’s questioning glance.
“I’ll be back to help with dishes,” the girl promised.
Cassie waited until they were out of earshot then gathered up the dishes. “Daisy will soon enough be gone. I can manage on my own.”
Roper could point out that she wouldn’t be feeding and washing up after six or seven. Only herself.
It sounded mighty lonely and unnecessary.
After they’d eaten the noon meal, Jack said he’d like to have a nap. Daisy tucked Pansy into bed, then hovered about the house where Roper and Neil worked. Roper considered the girl. “You look worried.”
Billy sidled up to his sister. “She doesn’t want to go.”
“Billy!” Daisy grabbed the boy and shook him gently.
“You can pretend you do, but I don’t. I like it here.” He confronted Roper. “Why can’t we stay?”
Roper put his hammer down on the window frame, using the time to gather his thoughts. He must ignore his own feelings. Not let them know that he wanted them to stay as much as Billy said he did. They had a future with their uncle that was likely full of all kinds of good things. Somehow he had to convince them of it.
He sat on the doorsill and waved them to join him. They crowded together. For a minute he let himself enjoy the way they sighed and pressed tight to each other. They expected words of strength and understanding from him. He uttered a quick prayer for wisdom then began to speak.
“You all know I was raised in an orphanage. I never knew who my father and mother were. Yet I was happy. Not everyone was, though. I remember when the Trout children came to the orphanage. You kind of remind me of them. There were four of them and they were so scared. The oldest one was a girl so she had to go to the girls’ side. The others were boys so they were separated from their sister. It was really hard on the girl, Judy. She told me time and again that if she could be with her brothers and keep caring for them she would feel so much better. You see, she’d promised her mama to always watch out for them.”
He paused to look into each intent face.
“What happened to them?” Billy asked, worry lines furrowing his forehead.
“Well, Judy grew up. She was offered a job working for a nice family.”
Daisy gasped. “She had to leave her brothers?”
“She could have. That’s what was expected.” Roper let the words sink in. “But Judy had never forgotten her promise to her mother and she begged the matron to let her stay. Said she would do anything—cook, clean, help teach.”
All three watched him with eyes wide. He guessed they had all forgotten to breathe.
“Did the matron—” Neil couldn’t complete his question.
“The matron was very understanding. She let Judy stay, and then her oldest brother was big enough to go out to work. Last I heard Judy and Mike had made a home for their two younger brothers and they were all together.”
The tension eased from the three children. Daisy and Neil exchanged a look.
“We’ll be together,” Neil said.
“And soon we’ll be grown up.”
Billy jumped up. “And then you’ll bring us back here and we can live with Roper and Cassie.”
Daisy laughed. “We won’t have to live with anyone then.”
Billy plunked down again and sat with his chin in his hands. “I want to live with them.”
Roper gave them a big hug. “Let’s promise to keep in touch.”
“We will,” Daisy said, and with that they all had to be content.
Roper returned to his work, Neil at his side.
“I hope we’ll be happy,” Neil said.
“You can learn to be no matter what.”
For the first time he didn’t believe it. Not even for himself. His only hope of family gone, he would have to fight to be happy after the children left.
He crossed the floor and pretended an interest in the door frame for Cassie’s room.
He couldn’t imagine returning to his solitary life.
No children.
No Cassie.
A groan tore from his throat.
Neil rushed over. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“Just a pinch. I’m fine.” This pinch was internal and he wondered if he’d ever be fine again.
Roper concentrated all his thoughts and energy on finishing the house. Later in the afternoon, he glanced up as a familiar voice came across the yard.
Lane.
Roper had seen how Lane resented competing with Cassie’s distraction over the children yesterday and wondered if he’d return. But he was there, a look of determination branded on his face. To his credit he did not come early but neither did he leave when the meal was over. Instead, he followed Cassie around as she worked, doing everything on her own as Daisy and the children had gone to the river to visit with their uncle.
Roper was torn between accompanying them and staying behind to keep an eye on Lane.
He tipped his head toward the river but the children were quiet. No doubt Uncle Jack lacked the energy to play any sort of active game with them. The man still seemed rather peaked in Roper’s opinion.
He brought his attention back to Lane’s lingering presence. He wanted to tell the man to leave but Cassie had made it clear she would be the one to tell him if she so desired. Obviously she didn’t mind his attention.
Roper ground about on his heel and stalked back to the house. He couldn’t abide to watch them together.
Yet he seemed to find himself at the window at every turn.
Lane hovered at her side as she washed dishes. Roper stared at Lane’s back. Didn’t the man see the tea towel and the dishes needing to be dried? Apparently not. Instead, he constantly got under foot forcing Cassie to take extra steps.
Any minute now she would reach the end of her patience and suggest he take himself on home.
The man twisted his hat in his fingers and said something that brought Cassie up short. Roper wished he could see her face but she had her back toward him.
Lane smiled. Rather uncertainly, Roper thought. Or was it just hope? And then as he watched, Lane lowered his head.
Roper lurched closer to the window. It looked for all the world like Lane meant to kiss Cassie. Surely now she would step back. Tell him to be on his way.
But she didn’t move so much as an inch. She allowed Lane to kiss her right on the mouth. Did Lane linger? Sure seemed like he did.
Roper ground his teeth together. He should never have left the pair alone. Should have been there to protect Cassie.
He narrowed his eyes. Cassie didn’t slap the man. Didn’t even seem upset. She sort of hung her head, all shy and uncertain.
The wind felt as if it were sucked from his insides, leaving him weak as a newborn kitten. He leaned against the wall.
Seems Cassie didn’t need or want his protection.
He grabbed his forgotten hammer and returned to his work. He’d constructed a frame for her bed, built a table and benches for the house. The heavier table and benches they’d been using he meant to leave outside to use in pleasant weather. He’d also put shelves up for her to store things on, built bins and more shelves in the cellar. Tomorrow, as soon as the stove cooled, he’d get it moved inside. That left him time to do a couple of extra things that he’d been planning.
He would do them for Cassie and expect nothing in return but her happiness, and if that meant giving Lane the right to kiss her...
He had nothing to offer her but the work of his hands. No fine home. No parents and brothers. No history. Not even a name. He’d always known he could never be part of a family. It shouldn’t surprise him that this attempt was no different.
That night, for the first time since he and Cassie had started this business agreement, he could hardly wait for the evening to come to an end so he could retire to his camp.
Jack accompanied him. The man was full of talk about his plans for the future with the children. “I know how much my sister loved them. Even as I loved her. I’ll do everything in my power, God helping me, to raise them like she would want.” The man choked and couldn’t go on.
Cassie needn’t worry about the children. They were going to a good home. He’d give her this last bit of assurance tomorrow.
The next day was a repeat of the previous one except Jack looked even more worn out and chose to spend most of the day sitting. Cassie suggested the children play near their uncle.
Roper followed her to the shack, helping return the food and dishes.
Cassie planted her hands on the worktable and leaned over as if consumed by pain. “I’m going to miss them,” she said, her voice thick.
“Me, too.” He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her. But shouldn’t he leave that to Lane?
“I hope and pray they’ll be okay.” A sob ripped from her throat.
Lane wasn’t here and he was, so he opened his arms and pulled her to his chest. “Jack is a good man. I believe he’ll give them the sort of home that neither you nor I knew.”
She eased back to look into his face. “I never thought of it before but we do share that.”
And so many other things. Long talks in the dusk. Laughter and play with the children. The work they’d both contributed to getting this house and business built. And a few hugs and kisses. He couldn’t say what they’d meant to Cassie—and he wouldn’t admit they meant the world to him.
He withdrew his arms and backed away. “Let the stove cool so I can get it moved.” Without one glance backward, he returned to the house where he put the final touches in place. He’d added an unnecessary detail he hoped would give her sweet enjoyment.
He stood back to assess his work. The place was pleasant. He hoped she’d enjoy many hours of happiness here.
He had only two things left to do—dig the garden, which he would do before he left, and put in the stove. By noon he had that in place.
Only then did he open the door and wave Cassie inside. He’d asked Jack and the children to give them a moment alone.
She stepped across the threshold and her eyes and mouth widened with pleasure. “My own place.” The way she clasped her hands together at her throat was enough thanks for Roper. Walking around the house, she examined each detail. Her gaze lighted on the little extra he’d added, a tiny shelf next to the stove and the pretty vase he’d found in the depths of Macpherson’s store. He couldn’t help wonder what she thought of the meager collection of wildflowers he’d stuck in the vase but if she liked flowers so much, he thought she should at least have a nice place and a nice vase for them. Even if, after this, he wasn’t to be the one to bring them to her.
He planted a hand to his chest to stop the pain and sucked in air to calm his inner turmoil. It hurt to give up his plans even to a fine dude like Lane.
She continued her inspection of the house. She tried the door to her bedroom. Then came full circle back to face him. “Thank you so much. I feel like I owe you something for this.”
“It was part of our agreement. There is no owing.” No owing for my work or my friendship.
She nodded, uncertainty erasing her pleasure.
He heard her silent question. Now what?
“We did well together, didn’t we?” He wondered if she heard the uncertainty and longing in his voice or did it exist only in his heart?
She smiled into his eyes. “I’d say we did.”
Her agreement eased his tension. “Seems a shame to end a good thing.”
Her smile disappeared and sorrow filled her gaze. “But the children will be leaving soon.”
He hadn’t meant the children. He knew one way to test whether or not she had any interest in continuing their arrangement. “I figure to dig the garden this afternoon.”
She jerked to full attention. “I know you planned to do it for the children’s sake. But that’s no longer necessary. They’re leaving. Our agreement is over.”
“It doesn’t need to be.” He looked intently into her eyes hoping she would see all he meant. That she would understand he didn’t want this to end.
She marched to the window and stared out, her shoulders drawn up with tension.
He waited, hoping to see the tension soften. “Cassie, I—”
She spun around, her features iron-hard. “I only let you help because of the children. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all you’ve done but I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t need or want anything more. This—” Her hand circled to indicate the room. “Is all I need. My own business. Independence.”
The back of Roper’s eyes burned. His throat tightened so he knew he couldn’t force out a word. Not that he had anything more to say. She’d left no doubt about what the future held for them.
All he could do was nod and stride from the house. His steps didn’t slow until he found escape and solitude by the river. He sat on the damp sand, his legs out before him like poles clad in denim. He stared at his boots and slowly his mind began to function.
The boots said it all. He was a cowboy. He belonged in a saddle behind a herd of cows. And Eddie could use his help. It was time to return to what he did best.
Cassie closed her eyes and held on to the window frame as wave after wave of shock lapped through her. Roper had offered to stay—to continue their business arrangement.
Like he said, they had done well together.
But to continue without the children made her heart clench until it hurt to even breathe. She guessed he meant they would marry as they had discussed. But wasn’t marriage the ultimate form of control?
It wasn’t for Linette and Eddie. Surely they were the rare exception. They loved each other enough to sacrifice, to allow the other to follow their heart.
On further consideration, marriage wasn’t the ultimate form of control.
Love was.
Or was it the ultimate form of surrender?
What was the difference?
She moaned as her thoughts twisted and knotted with questions she couldn’t answer.
Why was she even thinking such foolishness? It wasn’t as if Roper had suggested he loved her. And she wasn’t ready to make that ultimate sacrifice. No, sir. She finally had her freedom and meant to keep it.
Her mind was made up, but rather than peace she knew only the sensation of her insides rushing out the soles of her feet, leaving her painfully empty.
“Cassie, Cassie.” The shrillness of Neil’s cry jerked her from the quagmire of her musings and she rushed outside.
Neil grabbed her hand. “Come quick. Something’s wrong with Uncle Jack.”
Forgetting all else, she lifted her skirts and raced across the yard to where Jack lay on the ground, the children clustered around him. She knelt beside the man who was curled into a fetal position, his teeth chattering.
“I’m so cold,” he choked out.
“Daisy, get a blanket. Neil, bring a drink of water. Billy, take Pansy over to the table and keep her occupied.”
The children scattered to obey.
“Now tell me what happened,” she said to Jack.
“I tried to stand but my legs refused to work.” Saying those few words left him panting.
“Have you been sick before?”
He shook his head.
Daisy returned with the blanket and they helped Jack sit up. He drank the water Neil brought.
“I’m feeling better now.” He smiled weakly, but he made no attempt to get to his feet.
“Where’s Roper?” She regretted the words as soon as she spoke them. Hadn’t she assured him she could manage on her own? And yet the first time she had a problem she looked for him.
“I’ll find him,” Neil said, and he took off before Cassie could say not to bother.
Not that she would have. Jack’s weakness worried her.
Would it mean the children stayed longer? Wouldn’t Roper then stay, as well?
Angry with herself for such selfish thoughts she turned back to Jack.
“I’m hot.” He tossed aside the blanket and his face grew bright pink.
“What’s going on?”
She’d never been so happy to hear Roper’s voice.
“He’s sick.” Her answer was unnecessary considering the way Jack mumbled and plucked at the edge of the blanket.
Roper knelt beside her. “We need to get his fever down. Get some tepid water and a cloth. We’ll sponge him.”
She rushed to do his bidding. Daisy shepherded the children to the table where they sat watching. Their fear was palpable. Cassie paused in her haste to get water and cloths.
“We’ll do everything we can to help him,” she assured the children.
“If he dies we have no one,” Billy said.
Daisy took his hand. “We have each other.”
“And you have us,” Cassie added, then returned to Jack’s side with the supplies.
It didn’t take any effort to put aside her selfish thoughts and concentrate on Jack for the next few hours.
His fever broke and he was able to sit up, though obviously weak and shaken.
Roper pulled her aside. “He’s not well. Sleeping on the ground, living like this is not doing him any good. I’m taking him to the ranch to recover.”
“I expect that’s for the best.”
“I’ll take the kids, too.”
“But—”
“They need to be with him and no doubt he’ll rest better if they are nearby. I’ll be leaving as soon as I hitch up the wagon.”
She nodded, feeling the blood drain from her face.
“Of course. I’ll help the children get ready.” Her voice sounded like she’d ground the words with shards of glass. How long would he be gone? She spun around and announced Roper’s decision to the anxious children hovering nearby.
Roper soon drove the wagon to the side of the house, his horse tied at the back. He helped Jack into the back where he’d made a pallet of his bedding.
Cassie stood beside the children. “Your uncle will be well cared for at the ranch.” The words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. I don’t want you to leave. I thought we’d have a few more days together. Please don’t go back with your uncle without a proper goodbye.
Roper carefully arranged the children’s belongings beside his own. “Ready?”
No one moved.
“Your uncle is waiting.”
Daisy turned to Cassie. “We have to go.” A sob escaped and she threw herself into Cassie’s arms.
Cassie blinked back tears as she hugged Daisy and wished her all the best. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
Daisy nodded as she stepped back.
Cassie hugged each of the boys, then scooped Pansy into her arms. It took every ounce of self-control not to hug the child hard enough to make her squirm. She kissed the chubby cheeks several times, then handed the little one to Daisy who waited, teary eyed, in the wagon.
Cassie swallowed hard and turned to Roper.
He twisted his hat round and round in his hands. “I’m going back to my job with Eddie.”
Each word dropped into Cassie’s heart like a heavy river rock. Then the meaning of them grew clear. “You’re not coming back?”
“Like you said, our agreement is over.”
She’d said the words without truly understanding the full consequence of them. He was leaving. She crossed her arms across her chest and pulled them tight. “I guess this is goodbye, then.”
He nodded. “It’s time to move on.”
She groped from one heartbeat to the next. Tried to recall how to breathe in and out. Forced words from her starved lungs. “Goodbye and again, thank you.”
He touched the brim of his hat. “Goodbye, Cassie. If you ever need anything—”
“I’ll be fine.”
She didn’t move as he drove away. Long after the wagon disappeared from sight down the long, dusty trail she stared after them.
Then she shook herself into motion and headed for the house. Yes, she’d be fine. She’d stand alone and independent.
She stood in the middle of her new house. She hadn’t expected them to leave so soon, hadn’t expected him to go so quickly, but there was nothing to make him consider staying. She’d seen to that.
She forced her attention back to her surroundings. Everything was perfect. He’d added a few special touches. He’d built a platform for her bed.
Her gaze lighted on the little shelf with the vase of pretty flowers. What kind of business agreement involved flowers? She grabbed the vase and headed to the door intent on pitching the contents into the woods, but she made only three steps before she stopped and slowly retraced her steps. No point in throwing the flowers out while they were still so bright and cheerful.
She set the vase back on the shelf and considered the room again. She had the fabric for curtains. Time to get them made.
Work would put her thoughts to right again. Work was the antidote to foolish emotions.