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It was a Sigsauer nine millimeter with a night sight. It held eight shots and a back-up clip.

Along with the uniform and the gun, they’d also given me an asp. The asp was a metal rod that extended like a telescope when you shook out your wrist. Butras called it “nonlethal force,” and he showed me how to use it like a club. I also received a cylinder of mace. Butras said they gave out the mace last because they didn’t think it was important, but anyone who had been out on the street knew it was all you needed to do the job most of the time.

At the academy they told us you needed to ensure three conditions before you shot: the ability, the opportunity and fear for your life.