Jesse watched Gemma’s eyes widen with disbelief. “Your mother wasn’t married?”
“I never knew my father. Not even his name. She never spoke of him.”
“How awful. Why? I mean...if you don’t mind telling me about it.”
He hadn’t told a single soul his story since coming to New Covenant, but he heard only sympathy in her voice. “I don’t usually talk about it.”
A wry smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “I used to think you didn’t talk about much of anything. I was happy to discover I was wrong. If you don’t feel like sharing, that is okay with me. I won’t mention what you have told me to anyone. We are friends now and I value your friendship.”
Gemma and her child were facing the same situation his mother had endured. He plucked at the dressing on his right hand, remembering some of the painful parts of his childhood. “My mother worked as a maid for an Englisch woman who lived near my grandfather’s farm. My grandfather died shortly after I was born. We had no other family. My mother made a public confession and was forgiven. She attended church services, but we never stayed to eat or visit with other members. She avoided people and made sure I did too.”
He fell silent as he recalled the day he had asked her why he didn’t have a father like the other children. Her answer had frightened him.
She grabbed him by the shoulders, shook him and told him never to ask about his father again. He never had.
Gemma laid her hand on his arm. “That sounds like a lonely existence.”
“It was.”
“How sad for her and for you.”
“It wasn’t much better when I started school. I was shy. I didn’t know how to act around others. I had trouble learning to read. I was bigger than the other kinder my age but not as smart. I tried to keep to myself, but I was teased a lot. They called me Jesse the Ox. The name stuck with me until I moved here.”
“Children don’t realize how much words can hurt.” She looked down at her clasped hands. “I am guilty of using hurtful words.”
“Something tells me you have seen the error of your ways,” he said softly.
“I hope I have. I’m ashamed of the way I behaved toward you last year.”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t always kind to you either.”
“Thank you for confiding in me, Jesse.”
“Your decision will have a long-lasting impact on your child. Make it carefully.” Because a child growing up without his or her father’s name could feel like an outcast even if he or she wasn’t.
“How am I to know what’s best for this baby?”
“I reckon you pray on it.”
She turned to stare out the window, and they made the rest of the journey in silence.
It was almost dark by the time they arrived at the bishop’s business. Jesse was surprised to see the large number of horses and buggies filling the parking lot.
Dale turned around. “It looks like we have a welcoming committee. I guess everyone has heard about our adventure by now.”
Their driver pulled the vehicle to a stop in the driveway. The bishop opened the front door, letting the cold evening air pour in. “Welcome back, Dale Kaufman. I’m right glad to have my best hauler returned. You’ll have your job waiting for you when you are able to start driving again.”
While the bishop spoke with Dale, the door beside Jesse opened and his friend Michael Shetler reached in and grabbed Jesse’s uninjured hand. “It’s good to see you in one piece. You were found before we even knew you were lost, my friend. God moves in mysterious ways for sure. He spared us a lot of grief and worry.”
Michael’s dog, Sadie, pressed in to nuzzle Jesse’s hand. A yellow Lab mix, she was Michael’s constant companion and helped to warn him of the PTSD flashbacks he sometimes had. Jesse patted her head. She was pushed aside by Jesse’s dog, Roscoe, a shaggy black-and-white mutt who had shown up at his door last spring. Jesse smiled as he took the dog’s head between his hands. “Hello, big fella. I missed you too. Who has been feeding you?”
Michael grinned. “I have. He showed up looking hungry the first night you were gone. I took care of your stock too.”
Michael leaned lower to look inside the car. “I’m mighty glad to see you too, Gemma. Bethany wanted to come but I told her she should wait in a warm house and hear all about it from you tomorrow.”
“Danki, Michael. Tell her I will come by first thing tomorrow morning.”
The door beside her opened. Her father stood waiting for her to get out with a big grin on his face. “Gott is good to me. He has brought my daughter home.”
Gemma immediately burst into tears. She scrambled out of the car and into her father’s embrace. He patted her back awkwardly. “There, there. You are safe now. It’s all over. Come, I will get you home to your mother and the two of you can have a good cry together. She sent along your winter coat so you wouldn’t catch a chill.” He held it out to her.
Gemma took it but kept it bundled in front of her rather than putting it on.
Jesse got out and was soon surrounded by the men of the community, who plied him with questions about the ordeal. He answered them as best he could while he made his way toward the Lapps’ buggy. He wanted to speak to Gemma before she left. She was already seated inside when he reached it. She managed to quell her sniffles long enough to extend her hand to him. “Thank you for everything.”
He squeezed her hand in reply. “All I did was get us lost. If I can do anything for you, just ask.”
She pulled her hand free and looked away. “That means a lot to me, Jesse, danki.”
He shrugged. “You were a goot companion, except when you were scolding me.”
“I should promise never to scold you again, but I fear I wouldn’t be able to keep it. Stay safe.”
He gazed into her eyes, wishing they wouldn’t drift apart but he knew they would. She had her friends and her family. They would take care of her. His job was done.
Gemma’s father wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “You have my gratitude and that of her mother for taking care of our Gemma. She was blessed to have you looking after her.” He shook Jesse’s hand, climbed into the buggy and drove away.
Jesse watched it disappear down the road. He was going to miss Gemma. That they might never be alone again, might never enjoy the comfort of each other’s company again hit him hard. She had a rough journey ahead of her. He wouldn’t be able to protect her and her baby.
Michael slapped Jesse on the shoulder. “The bishop has invited us inside for coffee. Come on. We all have questions for you.”
Jesse followed Michael inside the front office of the business. Both dogs tried to follow them, but Jesse told Roscoe to stay and Michael said the same to Sadie. It was warmer inside the building. Men began removing their coats. A few chairs lined the plain gray walls. One had been saved for him. Samples of shed materials took up shelf space on one wall. The place smelled of sawdust and paint.
“Why didn’t you stay in the truck? That’s what I would’ve done.” Ivan, Michael’s teenage brother-in-law, offered his opinion.
“That was supposed to be the plan,” Dale said. “So why didn’t you stay there?”
“The gas tank had a leak. We couldn’t run the heater for fear of starting a fire.” He explained the rest of their adventure, including his mistake of losing the trail.
Michael punched Jesse’s shoulder. “It couldn’t have been easy being snowed in with Gemma Lapp.” Everyone but Jesse laughed.
The bishop handed Jesse a cup of coffee. He wrapped his fingers around the warm thick white mug. “She was no trouble.”
“You’re just being kind,” Michael said. “I know how much of a pest she was in the past.”
Jesse stared at the dark coffee in his cup and thought about Gemma’s rose hip tea. He might even miss that. “She has changed.”
There were more questions and suggestions for surviving a blizzard from some of the older men. Ivan asked Jesse to teach him how to make rabbit snares. Jesse looked around and realized how thankful he was to be surrounded by friends who appreciated him for his skills and didn’t poke fun at him because of his size, except in a friendly way.
“Who bought that eighty acres at auction?” he asked when he had a chance.
“Leroy Lapp did,” Michael said. “He got it for a steal.”
Jesse managed a wry smile. “Because I wasn’t there to bid against him.” Gemma’s father was a good farmer. He would make the most of the property.
Jesse’s plans to expand his farm would have to wait. It was a bitter disappointment, but he accepted it as God’s will. One by one, the crowd of men headed for home until only Jesse and the bishop were left in the small office. The bishop took Jesse’s empty mug from his hand. “You must be tired. Let me take you home.”
Jesse shook his head. “It’s not far. I feel the need to walk.”
The bishop was a keen man, sensitive to the needs of others. “Is there something on your mind? Is something troubling you?”
Jesse shook his head. He would respect Gemma’s privacy and allow her to decide if and when she should confide in the bishop. “Nee, good night, Bishop Schultz. I will be in to work tomorrow morning.”
“Goot. We have many orders to fill.”
Jesse walked out of the building. Roscoe was waiting outside the door. He trotted ahead a short distance but came back and barked once. Jesse paused to pet him. Happy with the attention, Roscoe fell into step beside Jesse as they followed a gravel road leading south.
The night was clear, and the stars were beginning to come out. New Covenant had received six inches of new snow, but they had been spared the brunt of the blizzard. The snow and gravel crunched beneath his boots as he walked along with his head down and his hands in his coat pockets. The doctor had warned him that his hand would ache as it was healing, and he was right. But it wasn’t his discomfort that occupied his mind.
Gemma was in trouble. “It has nothing to do with me. I kept her safe when she needed me and now she is with her family.” Roscoe perked up his ears.
Jesse glanced at his dog. “My responsibility has ended, right?”
He wanted to believe it was true, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she still needed him. They had become close during their time together. He had seen a side of her he hadn’t known existed. She had endurance, a sense of humor, a level head. She was a quick thinker. If she hadn’t remembered the dead cedar tree, the search plane might’ve been too far away to see the signal fire by the time he thought of it. She had promised that she wouldn’t whine, and she hadn’t. She had endured pain and bone-chilling cold without a whimper.
He stopped in the middle of the road. “Why am I listing her good qualities to myself?”
Roscoe sat with his tail wagging slowly and his gaze pinned to Jesse’s face. Jesse sighed. “I’ll tell you why. Because those are the qualities I hope to find in a wife someday. And that is a ridiculous thought. As odd as it sounds, Gemma and I have become friends.”
Still, the nagging feeling that she needed him wouldn’t go away. He stared off into the distance until Roscoe whined again. Jesse patted him and resumed walking. There was nothing he could do for Gemma and her baby. He had to accept that.